Chapter 3

Guilt and More Confusion

Percy awoke sharply to the sound of yelling and commotion. Glancing at his clock and then at the window, he confirmed that it was only about seven AM. Groaning, he sat up and threw on some clothes before sticking his head out of his cabin to see what the uproar was about. There was a small crowd gathered at the entrance to the Big House, but he couldn't tell why. His field of vison was blocked by another cabin, so he took a tentative step forward, then another, until he could see who was making all the noise. He noticed other campers, like himself, who had emerged to investigate the clamor.

Suddenly the crowd parted, and he saw two figures race out onto the lawn. Curious, he jogged over and joined the rest of the campers who had formed a semi-circle around the two.

The figures turned out to be, to his surprise, Chiron and Will. Will was blushing with anger and embarrassment at being stared at, and Chiron was in a furious frenzy, yelling at him. Will had drawn his dagger, which he rarely used, and was gesturing about with it. Then Percy finally caught wind of what they were saying.

"You can't stop me! I'm going to find him, and no stupid prophecy will get in my way!" Will shouted, turning redder by the minute. Percy had never seen him this angry before, he had always seen Will as a quieter demigod, not one to draw attention to himself. Chiron stomped one of his hooves. "Get back inside and stop making a scene!" he said angrily. "You have no idea what you're rushing into!"

Suddenly Percy felt a hand touch his shoulder. He jumped and spun around, where Annabeth was standing, looking startled. She looked like him, slight bedhead and rumpled clothes, but then again so did everyone else. "Annabeth what in hades is going on here?" he asked. She frowned and came closer. "I asked around, and apparently Nico went missing sometime last night. Chiron found a box that he had hidden away out in the open, with the lid opened and Nico's sword on the ground next to it."

Percy was still confused. "Well what that has got to do with Will?" he questioned. "Apparently," Annabeth answered, "apparently after Chiron talked to him, he thought it was his fault. Remember yesterday, when we saw Nico with the stone?" Percy nodded. "Will thinks he should have warned him against going back to it, and then Chiron apparently told will afterward what the stone was, and that there was a high chance Nico was dead." She gestured towards the scene on the lawn, looking grim. "And that's when he went livid." She frowned, and Percy turned back to the scene.

If I hadn't caused a scene yesterday then maybe Nico wouldn't have gotten into this situation, he thought grimly. If my damn emotions hadn't gotten in my way maybe I could have helped, he added bitterly.

Several of Will's friends had jumped in to try and get to him. They argued for a moment, but then Will pushed past them and stalked away, toward the dirt road that led out of camp. "Will!" Chiron yelled a last time, desperately trying to get him to listen.

Watching the receding figure of Will, Percy put his hand into his pocket and felt the familiarity of Riptide there. Maybe I can still help... he thought.

He thought about Nico, and the realization that there was a high chance that he was dead, even though Will persisted that he was alive. Nico, son of Hades. The young demigod who loved Mythomagic and his sister. The almost unrecognizable person he had become because of the war. So lonely, for so long, with no one to turn to. Alone, until he met Will. Percy was about as perceptible to relationships as a brick, so he didn't notice at first when Nico and Will had started hanging out more. He supposed they were just friends, but maybe there was more to that. He could see now, putting the puzzle pieces together, why Will was so desperate to find him.

But maybe, what if Nico was alive. What if Will was putting himself in danger for nothing; what if he got himself killed, and Nico was still out there.

Percy felt like he owed Nico too much to let that happen. He felt rash, his emotions were completely out of control. Shoving aside all the grief and worry, he fished Riptide out of his pocket and gently made his way through the dispersing crowd. Will's friends were arguing with Chiron, like they wanted to go after him. Heads turned in Percy's direction as he stumbled into the open area.

Chiron's eyes found his, and seeing the determination in Percy's eyes, hurriedly dashed over. "Percy," he said firmly, "Not you too. I can't have you making rash decisions and putting yourself in danger!" Percy's anger flared inside him. "I'm capable of making my own decisions," he said angrily, and, feeling all the pent up emotions becoming jumbled up into an untangle-able mess, he said flatly, "I can take care of myself, let me help Will." He took a deep breath, trying to stop himself from exploding, "I owe Nico, and I won't sit by while he is in trouble. If he is alive, then I'll find him." Chiron looked more livid then Percy had ever seen him.

"This time Percy, you are outgunned, trust me on this. Just calm down and-"Percy cut him off with a "No!" because Chiron just didn't get it. He couldn't just snap his fingers and be calm, he was feeling so messed up inside that he was about to blow if he didn't do something about it. Action was what he needed, he needed to distract himself, or better yet, do something constructive, helpful, and useful.

His problems ran deeper then Chiron could imagine. No matter what good it would do for him, he didn't want to be pent up in a house, doing normal stuff and pretending his experience, the war had never happened. He had to help, to take action, to be useful. He felt such a personal responsibility to help that it was almost overwhelming, and couldn't Chiron seethat?

Then the shocking realization hit him. Before the war, he would have given anything to lead a normal life. He just wanted to be a teenager again, and he was looking forward to (if he lived) a life with Annabeth. But now something was different. The emptiness and differentness he felt as he lie awake in bed all those nights suddenly made sense. He had lost that sense of regularity and had given up on the possibility of ever returning to a normal life. All his teenage years had revolved around war, and now, he realized sickeningly, he had gotten used to it. Used to the constant battles, the constant purpose, the constant working towards a goal.

A life with Annabeth still sounded great to him, but what would happen if, he dare say it, they were left alone? Would they buy a house? Move to New Rome? What if they didn't even end up together, after everything?

He was floating through these past few months without a purpose. It made perfect sense to him now why he had readily jumped at the occasion to help on the search for Nico. Perfect, horrifying sense.

He couldn't find his purpose without war.

The sense of uselessness, the feeling of confusion and nagging whenever he was alone, the lack of purpose, all were a result of him finally living an almost "normal" demigod life. And what scared him the most was how desperate he was to change that.

He lowered his now shaking hand and took a step back from Chiron. "I-Chiron you know I can't let him go," he said in a softer tone. Chiron could see the battle in his eyes, and though he tried to hide it, the helplessness. "Don't do this, Percy," he said sadly, "let me talk to him, and then we can discuss your arrangement to go home."

Several hours later, with an almost empty backpack slung over his shoulder, he stepped out of the Poseidon cabin feeling more lost and useless than ever before. He passed Will, who was stalking back to his cabin with an angry frown plastered on his face. He thought about saying something, but couldn't figure out what.

He made it to the edge of the Camp and turned to give a final hug to a concerned Annabeth, who gave him a quick "I'll see you soon," before he stepped out into the road and reluctantly headed out to his awaiting future.

A/N thanks for the support as i continue the re-write! reviews are really appreciated