This is NOT a MST!

Warnings!: Okay, guys. Because there are so many wacky, and sometimes just plain cracked up pairings, out there in the Naruto fanfiction universe, I've taken it to the next level and decided to take a fun poke at all of them! I mean no harm to anyone who ships a certain pairing, nor am I here to insult anyone. I'm simply taking all the Naruto characters and their respective pairings, putting their personalities into the stories and making them react as they really would. If you are going to be oversensitive and overprotective about your pairing and you know that you will flame me to death, please don't read! This is only for fun and nothing else!

A/N: SasuSaku is up next! Don't fuss you guys, I already have the next three or four chapters all planned out. I have in mind all the pairings and things that will happen in this series! I hope you guys will support me throughout the writing of this!

Anything in bold from now on will be the character's true personality and their own words and thoughts. I only forced them into these situations, so have fun seeing how they react to my script!

Also, whenever they seem to be talking to you, as in referring to the story/ script, they are actually insulting me, the plot creator.

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"Ah! Sa… Sakura, wait!" B-but I just went through this torture!

"Hm?" Sakura stopped walking. Team Seven just ended their practice. Naruto was running off yelling about ramen and Kakashi had poofed away immediately. They were still standing in the training grounds. Oh! Sasuke's talking to me!

"I… have to tell you something…" No I don't and you know I don't!

Haha, Ino-pig is going to be so jealous! "What is it, Sasuke-kun?" she looked back and saw Sasuke walking toward her.

My legs… won't… stop! "I… um…" he stopped talking and coughed to clear his throat. "Have I told you that…" Sasuke turned red and abruptly changed the topic. "Uh… your forehead…" 'makes me want to puke?' "is cute? I… I think it's one of your," 'worst' "best attributes…"

"Sasuke..." she whispered. Oh my god, am I dreaming?

"I… Sakura, I like you…" he looked away and blushed even deeper. Yeah, just so you know, I'm not blushing. My face is red from rage. Terrible, terrible rage!

"R-really?" Sakura's eyes widened in surprise. Finally! Love wins over!

"Yes…" Oh my god, this is worst than the last chapter where you stuck me with freaking Naruto! "I… I hope you won't… reject me…"

Sakura ran over and hugged him. "Oh, Sasuke… Of course not…" she started crying. Heck yes, I'm your's!

"Ah! Sakura… Don't cry…" Sasuke wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, smiling lightly. A smile that is worst than death and taxes!

"Why… didn't you tell me earlier?" Not like I mind you telling me now… Sakura looked up with shining eyes. Her eyelashes were slightly clumped with sparkling tears.

Sasuke let go a bit and looked at her for a long time, as if to try and use my awesome Sharingan and kill her? take the sight of her and preserve it forever. "I… didn't realize it until… Until now… Sorry if I made you wait," he apologized, smiling kindly at her.

"Oh Sasuke!" she cried once more and clung onto him ardently. Bwahaha! You're mine too!

Does she not feel my killer intent?

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"S-Sakura-chan? Sasuke-teme? What the heck?" Naruto skidded to as stop when he ran into the two of them. I hate you, idiot author! Why them?! This is so unfair!

"Ah, Naruto…" Sakura said shyly, hiding a bit behind Sasuke's arm. Haha, now you can stop bugging me about a date or whatever!

Sasuke smirked. This sucks so much… She's cutting off my blood circulation… "Naruto," he said curtly, his head tilted up a bit to show his superiority.

"You… You two…?" he looked at them. Sakura was clinging onto Sasuke's arm and he was standing there looking smug. Looks like she molested you or something, teme…

Shut up! It's not funny! "Yeah, you have something against it?" Sasuke inquired grandly.

"N… No… I'm… happy for the two of you. Heh… Congrats," he laughed quietly and shuffled away. The next chapter better be me and Sakura!

"Oh… I didn't except him to react like that…" Sakura furrowed her eyebrows. No matter what, Naruto was still her friend and it hurt her to see him so disappointed. Yeah right I am. I'm so happy I got rid of that leech.

"He'll be fine in two days," Sasuke reassured her. But I'm going to be mentally scarred for the rest of my life.

"Hm…" she hummed guiltily but nodded anyway.

---

The afternoon passed quickly for the two lovers. We're not freaking lovers! Now night has fallen gently over the Hidden Leaf Village. Stars twinkled cheerfully and the moon smiled down upon them. Some houses still had their lights on but a majority of them were off.

Somewhere off on a gently sloping hill, two figures were sitting together somewhat awkwardly. We're not awkward. See how Sasuke-kun and I seem to be made for each other? We're the perfect pair! Their faces were decorated with a soft sweep of a blush. Their hands were clasped together as they silently admired the celestial bodies.

My mouth won't open… I can't tell her to get the heck away from me…

Hehe… Maybe he'll even ask me to be his wife soon! She turned a bit to face Sasuke. Her eyes were half-lidded, heavy from the drug called love. She smiled brightly at him, sighing contently.

"Sakura… You look so," 'ugly' "cute tonight… Your eyes… They sparkle," 'with malice and murder' "so beautifully…"

Sakura giggled girlishly as Sasuke whispered sweet nothings to her. His eyes melted into her own as only the quiet song of the night creatures could be heard. "I've always thought you were rather handsome yourself… Stop flattering me, now!" she said bashfully. No, for all means, go on!

"You don't like it?" the Uchiha said breathlessly to her, leaning in a bit. His hand slipped out of her own as he started to embrace her loosely. The words that are coming from my mouth… Are so revolting…

The pink-haired girl laughed again. "I like it… But you don't have to make me seem so beautiful…" she said softly, noting his actions. A kiss? With Sasuke! Score!

Sasuke chuckled. "Well… I'll continue then, if you enjoy it…" he said to waiting eyes."Sakura… Your voice is," 'so darn shrill I want to go deaf…' "so wonderful… Your breath smells," 'so foul I want to puke right now' "so sweet… I want to taste it…" You're trying to give me diseases now, aren't you? This is on purpose, isn't this?!

Oh… Is he really going to kiss me? Sakura's breath caught as her body stiffened slightly.

Sasuke leaned in closer, his eyes closing a bit. One of his hands was behind Sakura's head and the other one was on her back. Auuuggh…

He really is going to kiss me! Oh my god, this is going to be the happiest day in my entire life! Sakura did the same, closing her eyes gently so that her eyelashes fanned out prettily. Her breathing was slightly faster, as her heartbeat was.

The Uchiha could feel Sakura's breath on him, so fast and strained. Just a little bit closer and they would share their first kiss together…

"Dang it! I'm not going to kiss this beast!" Sasuke pushed Sakura away and stood up angrily. His face was twisted in a look of disgust. "I don't care if this chapter isn't long enough for you, but I am NOT, under any circumstances kissing this hag!"

"Sasuke-kuuun! Come back! We still need to kiss!"

Augh, well my character just ran out on me… Guess it's time to work on the next chapter then…