This is NOT a MST!

Warnings!: Okay, guys. Because there are so many wacky, and sometimes just plain cracked up pairings, out there in the Naruto fanfiction universe, I've taken it to the next level and decided to take a fun poke at all of them! I mean no harm to anyone who ships a certain pairing, nor am I here to insult anyone. I'm simply taking all the Naruto characters and their respective pairings, putting their personalities into the stories and making them react as they really would. If you are going to be oversensitive and overprotective about your pairing and you know that you will flame me to death, please don't read! This is only for fun and nothing else!

A/N: Okay, due to my knowing that I cannot write three separate chapters for these three pairings, it's a three-in-one chapter! There are three seasons and three different time periods for these three parts! Have fun, even though this chapter is messed up! Wait 'til the next one. That one will really make your stomach turn!

Anything in bold from now on will be the character's true personality and their own words and thoughts. I only forced them into these situations, so have fun seeing how they react to my script!

Also, whenever they seem to be talking to you, as in referring to the story/ script, they are actually insulting me, the plot creator

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"And… Okay, today Sasuke will be training with me and Naruto… You can spar with Sakura, hmm?" Man, it's my turn already?

It was springtime now, and Team Seven was gathered around the training grounds. It was still morning. Surprisingly, Kakashi was earlier than usual today, so they were able to train more.

"Augh! I'm going to beat up this teme today! Sensei, change the match ups for today, please?" Naruto gazed at him with giant watery eyes. Don't I get a break or something…?

Kakashi sighed and closed his visible eye. "Fine," he said flatly. "Sakura, you'll spar with me and Naruto and Sasuke can try their hardest not to kill each other…" Since when did we start sparring with each other? He started to lead her away to another part of the training grounds.

But I thought you already paired up Sasuke-kun and Naruto together! "Okay, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura looked back at the two boys, who were already starting to yell at each other and glare with fiery eyes.

"Hmm… I suppose we can start with your taijutsu today. Your other two skills seem to be fine, but you are lacking in taijutsu," the silver haired man said somewhat lazily. He was slouching a bit and looked around uninterestedly. You took my book away… I don't have anything to read now…

… Okay then… Sakura nodded and got into her fighting stance. She eyed him for a while before deciding that he was probably waiting for her to attack. Hey, sensei, since we have time… Do you know which pairing this is?

Not really… I was busy reading my book. Kakashi looked at her and raised a hand to stop her punch. "Not enough strength," he commented dryly.

Auh! I hate it when no one knows the pairing! It's scary, you know? "Okay…" she leapt back and crouched a bit as Kakashi ran toward her, lecturing her all the while.

"Don't look at your feet. Faster at reacting or you'll get killed. Still not evasive enough. Come on Sakura-chan. Have you not trained enough to do better than this?" he taunted lightly, blocking her blows and attacking with ease. This is becoming boring now.

"Ah!" Sakura slipped on a patch of wet grass. It was understandable, seeing that it was still rather early in the morning and the dew hadn't dried off the grass yet. Must you make me a fool every single time?

Kakashi's eye widened in surprise. He had been so lax, his senses were not as sharp as usual. Are you saying I'm lazy? "Careful!" he said hastily, catching her arm and supporting her back.

"Oh…" she said in a small voice, blushing at the position they were in. Even so she didn't move. It's not like I don't want to move… "Sensei?" Sakura asked bravely.

"Hm?" the Jounin looked down at her with a half-lidded eye. Uh… I don't like where this is leading to…

(sweatdrop) "I've… always wanted to see what's under that mask of your's…" she lifted her hand tentatively to his face and placed her cool fingers above the cloth.

From somewhere in the distance, the two of them could faintly hear, "I'm going to tell Kakashi-sensei! You cheater!" Then a loud rustling sound followed by an, "OW! Stupid branch!" Naruto stumbled into the clearing where they were. Eww….

"Uhm… Uhmmm…" Sakura stood up and blushed deeper. This is gross…

"Hey!" Naruto pointed at Kakashi with squinted eyes. "It's my part now! Get out, Sakura-chan!"

"Aw, geez, I don't even get a fifteen minute break after this thing?" Kakashi sighed and changed the scene.

---

"Haha!" Naruto laughed loudly. Why must I always laugh loudly? It hurts the throat, you know…

A warm summer's breeze passed through the area. Sweat ran down both of their faces and evaporated in the midday's strong sun.

"What's so funny, Naruto?" Kakashi looked at him and tried to steady his breathing, taking another stance. I'd better get more pay for this… "You've gotten stronger…"

"Heck, yeah, I'm stronger!" the blonde crowed loudly, punching the air then placed his hands on his knees, recovering from their unfinished training. He grinned widely. Please tell me this pairing isn't what I think it is…

"Why are you so happy?" the Jounin took out a kunai and held it tightly, looking at his opponent carefully. Do you really think a Jounin like me would have to worry about a Genin like Naruto? Get your facts straight, at least! Geez…

Naruto did the same, his hand gripping onto the kunai as if his life depended on it. "This is the training I've always wanted from you! You're always off with Sasuke, training him, but you never train me!" he hollered at him, trying to make Kakashi guilty. Yeah, aren't teachers not supposed to have favorite subordinates?

Not only did it not succeed, the only thing Naruto managed to do was to make him chuckle lightly. "Jealous, now are we?"

"No," Naruto ran at his teacher, kunai held up high. "I'm just glad you're finally paying attention to me!" Ha…. This makes no sense, just to tell you.

Under his mask, Kakashi smiled and knocked out Naruto's kunai from his hand. With his left hand he twisted the blonde's body around and pressed the flat side of his kunai to his throat. Naruto didn't try to escape from the grip. He just stood there obediently. It's scary how calm you make Naruto. It's not natural for him to be like this, you know that, right?

Why am I so submissive? You make no sense! You are such a terrible writer… "Heh…"

"Hmm? What's wrong, Naruto… kun?" Kakashi put his head onto Nartuo's and nuzzled it with his chin.

"'ey! You two. Stop acting so touchy. It's my turn."

Both of them snapped back up and looked at the voice.

"Hn… This is going to be bad, isn't it?"

"Yeah, good luck, Sasuke-teme…" Naruto laughed and pushed Kakashi away.

"It just never stops, does it…?" Kakashi rolled his visible eye.

---

Night draped over the village of Konoha. Snow that had fallen blanketed the ground and ceilings softly. A brumal wind brushed by the cheeks of a certain individual who stood atop of a telephone pole.

"Sasuke, what are you doing out here? Isn't it lonely?"

The Uchiha turned his head around. "Hn…" Judging from the last two parts, I'm not going to enjoy this at all… His scarf whipped around wildly in the wind.

"Such a detailed answer," Kakashi said sarcastically. You don't think I'm tired? In every single part so far… "You're going to catch a cold. What kind of idiot are you? It's the middle of winter already and you're still in your usual garb."

And so he was in his everyday clothes, as ridiculous as it seemed. A large collared, short sleeved shirt, a shorts. And a thin scarf around his neck. "I'm fine." You've got to be kidding me. I'm going to die if I keep standing out here like this!

Kakashi took off his cape and pulled it around Sasuke's neck, tying it together tightly. Okay, now I'm cold. Smart move, author… If either of us die, you're responsible for it.

"That wasn't necessary," Sasuke said stubbornly, trying to pull off the cape. His hands were stopped by another pair of gloved ones. Why does he get the nice, warm gloves?

"Don't be so boorish. I'm trying to be polite here, and you're rejecting my kindness. That hurts, Sasuke-kun…" he said lowly, not letting go of his hands. This chapter is messed up in so many ways…

And so many levels… Ugh. Sasuke stopped struggling and leaned back into Kakashi's chest.

The man hugged his subordinate tightly and leaned his forehead onto his neck. "Feel better now?" This is so bizarre and wrong…

Sasuke nodded uncertainly, watching his breath swirl around his face as it came out in white puffs. I'm going to die in this weather… He could feel Kakashi's smile on his bare skin.

"Whoa, look at the time! It's late! We'd better get going…" Kakashi pulled away and yanked off his cape again, leaping off the wire. "We have a mission tomorrow morning!"

"HEY! Come back with that thing! I'm freezing right here! Hello? I don't care if you're my teacher, I'll kill you for not letting me wear that cape!"

I swear I need to get the characters to cooperate more! Geez, this is ridiculous! Not one of my chapters have gone smoothly! I'm going to fire these guys if they don't participate nicely!