After her phone call with Bailey, Arizona felt better, apparently she wasn't the only one who felt that Callie and Penny had no chemistry. Not that she got much out of Bailey but over the years she's learnt how to read her, read between the lines and what she found out is basically Bailey felt the same as she did, which is a relief because for a small while she thought she was going crazy, seeing what she wanted to and not what was actually there.

Her mother had left her alone for most of the day and her father having gone golfing with some ex-marine buddies so she decided to sort through a few boxes that she had left there. After her divorce she had shipped a few things to her parents because she didn't have the room for it at Alex's. She had grabbed a coffee before heading to the garage, she stood in front of the first box trying to guess what was in it, a game her and Tim would play every time they moved, they would only list where in the house the box should go then after guess what was in the box and who ever got the closest answer had to unpack the box.

This box was labelled guestroom, so she guessed it was probably a bunch of sheets. She was correct but after noticing what sheets they were, more like whose, she realised that some of these boxes were from when her and Callie had brought their house. They had agreed to unpack one box each a day, however they slacked off after a while and there was still about 10 unopened boxes that were sitting in one of the guest bedrooms when they separated. Staring at the next box she was a bit nervous, there was a lot of things they couldn't find, photos and such but decided it wasn't too important at the time so moved on to something else, she could literally be opening a box to her past and she's unsure if she really wants to right now. Everything over the last couple of days had made her past too fresh in her mind, she looked at the next few boxes, finding one with her handwriting and took a plunge, hopefully it was just more sheets or towels.

She was wrong, it was a box of photos. Photos of her and Tim over the years, photos of her and Teddy, her and a few of her friends from Hopkins, then she found some of her and Mark, her and Sofia, her and Callie and a few of her family, Callie, Sofia and her, all together laying down on the grass after a picnic at her and Callie's spot, the bench overlooking Seattle. Mark had taken the photo before picking up Sofia for the night. She was only about 6 months old at the time and it was the first nice day and they wanted her to see something other than the inside of the hospital, their house or rain. So that morning when the sun came out they packed a picnic and took their baby to their favourite place. They had so much fun that morning, Sofia had learned to sit up only a few days before so she was sitting and playing with the grass and a few flowers that were in reach, they had laughed and played and she fell even more in love with her little family.

Tears were running down her cheeks, she wished she could go back to this day, tell this Arizona not to get on the plane. No she wouldn't do that, without the plane crash and her losing her leg Callie wouldn't have gotten involved with prosthetics. She'd tell that Arizona not to push her wife away, don't cheat on her, don't start something with Leah Murphy, hold her family close and don't let them go. She'd tell her that losing her leg isn't the end of the world, losing her family was. She'll survive, she'll go on to do amazing things and save so many lives and that it'll be hard getting there, but she'll love herself again, it'll become a part of her routine to wake up in the morning and put on a leg and when she goes to bed, taking it off.

She'd tell her that even though she'll hate life for a while, it gets better, however what she'll hate is dropping her daughter off at her other mothers house, seeing her get excited and run to her ex-wife's girlfriend then going home to an empty house because the intern she lives with is on nights. She'll hate cooking dinner for one, watching Bake Off without her commentary partner, having a shower or bath by herself then getting into an empty queen bed.

She stared down at the photo again, looking at the smile that graced her face, she hated that she forgot how happy she was. Whenever someone mention of she thought of her marriage she would think of the failing half not the greatest of her life part. She thinks that's because it hurts too much, hurts to know how happy she was and that she threw it away.

She looked at the smile on Callie's face, one of her happiest smiles. The one saved for Sofia but in this picture her ex was looking at her. They were happy, it wasn't just her imagination running wild in her dreams, she's used to it now, being happy in her dreams, waking up and feeling for her wife before realization hits.

She picks up her phone, she wanted to talk to Callie, needed to hear her voice but she was unsure if she should. She doesn't have the privilege to randomly call anymore and seeing as it was the middle of the day and Sofia was at school so using her as an excuse wouldn't work. She couldn't really just ring to say she missed her or she wanted to hear her voice. Looking at the boxes again, she knows it's a shit excuse but it'll work. The phone rings twice before it's answered

"Torres"

"Hey Callie" the blonde tried to sound cheerful and not like she had just been crying for half an hour

"Arizona? Is everything ok?" she could feel the tears starting again and pushed them back, at one point concerned Callie had annoyed her but now it's something she misses most

"Um, yea everything's fine" she took a deep breath, swallowing down the sob that was threatening to escape "I've been going through some boxes that I had sent shipped here and I found some of yours. They are the ones that we never unpacked, just wanted to let you know in case you wanted them" she rambled

"Don't lie Arizona. You forget I know your crying voice not to mention I haven't needed anything in those boxes in at least 4 years so tell me what's wrong" the brunette said, her voice caring and the blonde lost it, she started sobbing loudly, Callie trying to calm her down on the other end of the phone
"Please Zona, what's wrong?"

"We were happy. Right? I found a picture and we were happy. I just hate myself for how I treated you, how I ruined our family. But then it's not all on me, I tried Callie, after our separation, after Leah Murphy I tried but you didn't" this realisation just hit her, it wasn't just her in the relationship
"I know you did at the beginning after the crash but I tried after the cheating. I guess we just tried at the wrong times" she was more talking to herself at this point, half forgetting that Callie was on the other end of the phone.
"I was thinking earlier about how if I could go back and change things all I'd do is tell old me not to push you away. I wouldn't change the plane crash even though that was the main changing point in our relationship, because of my loss of leg you've helped so many people and if I didn't miscarry and if April didn't lose Sam then I wouldn't have gotten into neonatal. So in a way I can't fault our divorce without it we wouldn't have thrown ourselves into our careers and now we're both saving so many lives, giving people a future they didn't dream of before they met us. I just wish it didn't take losing you to achieve that. Because I have lost you now haven't I? I told myself when you walked out of that therapist's office that I would get myself sorted, be happy in my own skin and love myself before I tried to fight for you again, but now it's too late. It took me too long and now you're happy with Penny, perfect pretty Penny and Sofia likes her and you guys are living my family dream and I'm here sitting in my parents garage bawling my eyes at staring at a photo of when we were happy and my I'm just so overwhelmed and conflicted about what I should do next. So I need to know Calliope can I fight for you or is it too late?"