I heard someone talking. I had awoken in what felt like my bed next to another body. I could certainly feel something soft and warm.
"I'm sorry about closing the door, Sir."
It was Shikamaru.
"Oh no, don't be son. My daughter is a grown woman now, I trust her to do what is right."
Daddy. I yawned and stretched.
"Awake princess?"
I smiled, I felt safe for once. No matter how bad things turned out father and Shikamaru would always be there for me and they would help me as life went on.
"Yes, daddy."
Shikamaru shifted, my head rested on his chest.
Last night, it all came back to me, I felt my heart sink to my stomach and disappear. No, that was not my heart. This felt awfully a lot like last night. I jumped off bed and ran to the bathroom to throw up.
"Still prefer pecan pancakes?"
Father asked blatantly ignoring the sounds of his hungover daughter hurling in the room next door. I might even have some pancakes I thought with my head over the shitter.
"Yes, Sir, please."
Shika was so polite, always had been.
"No need to sir me."
I heard daddy leave humming down the hallway. There was a knock on the door. I flushed and opened. I did not know what to say, neither did he. I finished brushing my teeth and turned around. I burst out in a sincere laughter because no words could explain.
Shikamaru was wearing my old silk Hello Kitty lounge pants.
"I'm sorry about that! I really am."
I felt much better today, still sad and now hung over. Shika had come for me, and it made it all better.
"What did you expect troublesome woman, you hurled all over me!"
He started laughing himself.
We both knew we weren't ready to talk about last night. We just knew. We were still that close. Shikamaru and me had always communicated almost on a different level. I could tell by just looking at him, but we were ready for pancakes. That needed addressing first.
Downstairs all my snacks, what was left of it, had been packed away. The floor smelled clean. Shikamaru must have washed it. He was a true champion.
Dad had already started making pancakes. I had already smelled it in the air coming downstairs. It all smelt so familiar.
"I can't wait for pancakes!"
I yelled out. This would have been an ordinary Sunday morning ten years ago. Shikamaru often spent the weekends on my bedroom floor when his mother worked weekends and I would be at his place when mother had left.
"Remember that night you had been so cold that you came up in my bed and I kicked you out in my sleep?"
I asked Shikamaru. He had gotten very angry at the time. I could certainly understand it but how could he be blaming me when I had been sleeping?
"It was so cold, but you were even colder."
He shook his head and our laugh filled the room making father smile.
I helped myself to a pancake. I inspected the sugar free syrup and approved it. I should not be eating today. I had taken too many shots last night. The other part of me told me to eat as much as I wanted. I needed to gain weight, just some to get back to working.
I cut my pancake in tiny pieces. That way it would seem more to the others and it would take longer to eat. Shikamaru raised his eyebrows, daddy acted like nothing. I knew the clinic had sent him pamphlets so that he would know how to deal with is crazy daughter.
I wondered if he was ashamed of me, if he did not like me as much as he used to because I was so foolish. He did not know what beauty was, he did not know what I needed to do to obtain it. Shikamaru had eaten six pancakes by the time I had finished my one. That was twice as much as I had agreed with myself to eat. I was ashamed and disappointed in myself.
I rubbed my bones. They were still there, I could feel them. The pancake had not changed anything. Daddy asked if he needed to make anymore or if we were full. I knew what he was doing, he was offering, not commenting on what I had or had not eaten.
I had broken into his room the first night to read through the papers they had sent him. I needed to know what kind of tricks he had been armed with. I had also read my release form and what they had jotted down about my condition. Clearly strongly disarranged body image. Neither detected suicidal thoughts nor any self-harm. Dehydrated and severely underweight, deadly. No harm to internal organs, yet.
I was full, I could not shake the horrible feeling it gave me. Ino pig. I had been fat as a child, fatter than I had been as a teen and adult. I had hid all my pictures in my bedroom. I hated looking at my thunder thighs. It was like I was made out of lard.
The first thing Tsunade had me obtain in New York was a thigh gap. The wider the gap, the better. Mine was the widest in her catalog when my contract terminated and I went to work exclusively with Deidara. Deidara…
I wondered if I should look if there were some more news, if he had tried to contact me. I had not looked at my phone since I had called him. My public email must be full of people wanting to know every single deeply personal detail. Nobody in the room had mentioned it. That was what mattered at the moment. I could deal with it later breakfast was actually enjoyable.
Shikamaru knew about Deidara, daddy I did not know. In his mind there was only one right guy for me, the one sitting next to me. He had never been interested me in that way. I had been fascinated and curious in my teenage days. He was the perfect, sometimes a complaining and lazy gentleman.
He excused himself and went home soon after the breakfast. I did not mind. I wanted to sulk alone.
She almost squealed and cried. After the evening ended sooner than planned when they got kicked out of the bar Sakura had went straight home. She had logged on her computer to see if it was true. It was, she had seen the pictures herself, read what they had done inside according to eyewitnesses.
Poor Ino had to be devastated. Besides that issue Sakura was also happy, she gloated. She was somehow delighted. It must pain Ino to be betrayed like that, and Sakura still had Sasuke. He did not even notice other women. They were perfect for each other, and Ino had been cheated on.
Another victory for Sakura, who according to herself she would shortly be in the lead. Perez Hilton had written that the couple seemed pretty intimate; it was all over every gossip site. Sakura had read through them all several times. Nobody had heard anything from Ino. She had not answered her phone or her mail, her manager also refused to comment on the case. Meaning Deidara had not spoken a word either.
Sakura was curious. Their relationship was often in the media. It was a remarkable fairytale story.
Ino had been portrayed as this beautiful, poor small town girl. He the man, who discovered her, believed in her and took her under his wings. Then they fell in love. She was the blond bombshell that tamed the biggest playboy in the fashion industry.
There had been speculations earlier, but they were never any proof and the both of them would deny any rumors straight away. Now they were quiet. Nobody knew anything.
Sakura jumped in her chair when she heard the pling, indicating that she had gotten mail. She was dying with curiosity when she opened it. Ino had posted something on her blog. A million thoughts ran through her head thinking what she might have posted. The page could not load fast enough. Would she confirm or deny? She could not post anything not dealing with the acquisitions.
Sakura screamed making Sasuke rush to the room.
"What is it love, what are you screaming about?"
Sakura just pointed towards her screen. It showed the picture Ino had taken of them yesterday.
They were kissing, Ino holding out her middle finger. The title of the post read I Mean Shit Happens the caption under their picture read and then fucks happens.
Was Ino insinuating that they had sex last night? Or was she talking about him?
The plot had thickened and Sakura needed to know. She needed to know so badly that she almost called and asked, but she did the second best thing. She called and asked if Ino wanted to grab some remorse milkshakes. To her surprise Ino agreed.
Sakura knew things were bad when Ino had not only come to the creamery first, but she was sipping on a milkshake.
Sakura sat down and gave Ino the most sympathetic face she could manage.
"Oh save it Sakura, I'm here to rage."
A raging Ino was always a good thing, unless her rage was directed towards you. Ino took off her sunglasses, they read Chanel. She had a really black eye. Sakura gasped.
"This mess is so bad that fucking up Temari is hardly on my list, but believe me she will pay. I know she's your friend and all, but, bitch needs to chill!"
Suddenly they were back in high school again. Ino rambling on about who was on her list and why, but what had always interested Sakura the most was the boys. Ino had such strength and passion. She did not let anyone get away with anything.
Sakura remembered when Ino got suspended from school for making a hit and it list. It was pretty detailed and cruel. Hit had not been used in the positive and friendly matter; it was a list over who she thought deserved what Temari gave her anyway.
"What is her problem anyway? It's not like I'm trying to tap Shikamaru. Hell, I grew up with the guy. He's like a brother to me. We grew up together, I would not even think about that."
Sakura had always known why she had always been second next to Ino, now she could not help but to wonder how far Ino would fall.
She contemplated telling Ino the real reason why Temari hated her, but it was not the right time or place.
"Just go and get your milkshake, I feel like a fat failure eating alone."
Her milkshake was soy and fat free, Sakura would go for the real deal. A large one, strawberry. She went back and sat down.
"Sakura, I don't want to compete anymore. I need my best friend. You know, like we used to be."
It must be breaking her to say those words. They had been equals once, a long time ago.
"Sure, I'm always here for you. "
Ino looked like she was about to start crying and took a large sip of her milkshake.
"I gave him my best years, and he went and shagged some unknown whore!"
It was true. It did not feel as good hearing her say that as Sakura thought. She felt nothing but pity and sorrow as a tear started to form in Ino's eye.
"Why would he do that to me? Why was I not enough?"
Ino was eating herself up from the inside. She had made this her fault. He had never done anything wrong; she was not to blame for this.
"It was him who did it, I say fuck him. If he tosses away a diamond for a duck, be glad he did it now and not later."
Ino laughed,
"Yes, she was kinda duck-like."
I would have to deal with him sooner or later. I had jumped to conclusions last night like everyone else. I had not asked him, but she was offering to walk into his bedroom or shower. He was naked in the shower and our bedroom was private. Our bedroom, it was not ours anymore. This had been a daylong sulk fest.
He had tried calling my phone. I had 17 missed calls from him, even some from Itachi. I knew they were friends, I knew it might be him on the other line.
Before bedtime he texted me.
please, I can explain.
It must be one hell of an excuse. I could not handle hearing it now. I did not want to hear it. He had hurt me. I just wanted to sleep. If I slept I would not have to worry about food, the amount of calories I had eaten and drunk that weekend and I would not have to deal with Deidara.
Stupid: I don't know if your name is an insult to me and/or my story, or if you're calling yourself stupid. Neither of those options are good options in my mind. I would have answered your review in a PM, but you didn't dare to use your profile. Assuming you have one.
"Ino's inner demon eh? tsk, Sakura has Inner in the manga. You just made Ino look pathetic here."
Ino certainly does have inner demons, she's obviously very mentally ill. Did you not catch up on that? Sakura does have Inner in the manga, why are you mentioning this?
Thank you on the comment about Ino looking pathetic in my story. That's exactly what I'm aiming for, insecure, lacking in self-esteem and delusional.
You're coming off deliberately rude in your review. I honestly don't mind, but someone else might have taken it to heart. I don't understand why anyone would want to hurt a stranger? I feel thoroughly sorry for you and hope you find enough peace and joy in your life to stop trying to hurt people on the internet. May I suggest picking up a meaningful hobby?