Wow, I must apologize for the late update! I'm so late! Ahh! I don't know what happened…My head has been anywhere but on this story! Sad, huh? Don't worry though, I'm picking things back up. There will at least be one more chapter, and a POSSIBLE chapter after that. I haven't made up my mind yet. We'll have to wait and see how the next chapter goes. Again, I apologize immensely for the wait, but here she is! Enjoy!
Chapter 14: The Unwanted Ending
Yuna hung up the phone. She had tried calling him five times in the last ten minutes, and there was still no answer. She was growing more and more defeated.
"Come on Tidus, I need to talk to you!" she said to herself, and she walked out of her hotel room. Perhaps if she knocked again, he would answer.
Yuna walked over to his room, and knocked on the door. Once more, there was no answer.
"Open up, Tidus!" Yuna said, hoping she didn't alert his coach, "I want to talk to you! Please?"
She was about to give up, when the door opened.
"What?" Tidus asked, not letting her in, "You want to tell me how much I sucked too? I'm sorry, okay? I'll play better tomorrow."
"Tidus, you know I don't care how you play," Yuna said, for it was the truth, "Can I come in?"
"Yeah," Tidus said, "But seriously, you're mad. Aren't you? Everybody else is."
"I don't care," Yuna said, walking in, "Win or lose, I still love you."
Tidus rolled his eyes and walked away from her. Yuna shut the door and said, "I'm not going to tell you that you played well though. Where was your head?"
"I don't know," Tidus answered, "Not in the game, obviously."
Yuna swallowed and said, "Is there something wrong? You played as if you had a death in the family or something…"
"Yuna I…" Tidus trailed and then he sighed and said, "I guess I want to win so badly that I…I can't play right. If I—If we—lose, it's all over. This season, I mean. In less than a month, I'm off to play professionally. I just…I don't want the season to be over. I want to hold onto it forever."
"You can't, Tidus," Yuna said, shrugging, "Life has to go on."
"I know," Tidus said softly.
"Believe me," Yuna said, "I don't want it to end either. I don't want you to leave. Gippal doesn't either. He doesn't want you to leave."
Tidus swallowed loudly and said, "Did he say that?"
"Maybe," Yuna said, taking a seat next to Tidus, "Why did you sign after telling him you wouldn't?"
Tidus chuckled, but Yuna could tell he wasn't happy to be asked that question.
"It's difficult," Tidus said, "I don't know how to explain it."
"Well, try," Yuna said, "It really hurt your friendship with Gippal, you know."
"I do know," Tidus said, "But that didn't stop me from doing it. Especially now. You know, Gippal doesn't act like it, but there's a good chance he'll never be able to properly use his hand again. He could be out for life. I don't want that to be me, Yuna. I gotta take my chance while I can."
"That makes sense," Yuna said, "But why tell Gippal you weren't going to sign? Why not just explain that to him?"
"I wasn't going to," Tidus said, "I really wasn't going to sign Yuna. I was going to wait. But then…You know, things happened. I…I let my own selfishness get the best of me. You know…I'll be the youngest professional player ever, starting to play at the age of twenty. My old man didn't start 'till he was twenty-one. I…I…"
"Your father?" Yuna said then, "What was he like?"
"My old man?" Tidus asked, as if shocked by the question, "He was the biggest dick I knew. I hated him. And I want to out-do him. In every way possible. It's been my goal for as long as I can remember! I never expected to like college game, you know? I just had to do it; it was something that had to be done. But I got…I got attached. Not only to Gippal and my life, but to my entire team. I love those guys—you know, in a family kind of way. They're like…the closest thing to a family I've ever had. I don't want to leave them."
"Then don't," Yuna said, "Gippal said you could wait and get signed later."
"But Yuna, I gotta think about myself—I have to be selfish here. I could get hurt and never be able to play again. And I gotta outdo my dad. For myself—it's something I have to do!"
"Then go," Yuna said, shaking her head, "And in the meantime, pick yourself up. Play hard tomorrow."
Tidus looked at the ground and said, "I'm so used to having people tell me what to do. Tidus, go to blitz camp. Tidus, go play college blitz. Tidus, don't drink. Tidus, listen to classical music to calm yourself. Tidus, wear your hat, it's frickin' freezing out there! And now here I am…Can't you just tell me what to do?"
Yuna gave him a wry smile and said, "You have to figure that out for yourself, Tidus. No one can tell you. If I said 'stay', what would you do?"
"I don't know," Tidus said, shrugging, "I guess it depends. If I'm feeling rebellious, I'd go just to spite you, but if I wasn't…"
"How are you feeling? Rebellious?"
"I feel like killing myself," Tidus responded.
Yuna shook her head and said, "And what would that accomplish?"
"I wouldn't have to decide!" Tidus said, "Only I can't decide on the best way to do it…I thought of drowning myself, but I can hold my breath for so Yevon-damned long that it would take hours!"
Yuna assumed he was trying to be funny, but she didn't find him funny at all.
"Do you want to win tomorrow?" she asked then.
To her surprise, Tidus looked at the ground and said, "I don't know."
"You don't know?" Yuna repeated, shocked at his answer, "Why not?"
"I don't know," Tidus said, "I feel like I'm letting the team down enough, just by leaving them."
"They don't think about it like that," Yuna said.
"They do too!" Tidus argued, "Ask anyone. Especially Gippal…"
"Gippal's fine, Tidus. He's just upset that you would tell him one thing and do another."
"I always thought," Tidus said then, "That my dad didn't start playing until he was twenty-four. That gave me a lot of time. But he started when he was twenty-one. That doesn't give me much time."
"Beat him in other ways!" Yuna said, "Besides Tidus, isn't he dead? Shouldn't you let this kind of thing go?"
Tidus leaned back and said, "You don't understand, Yuna. I…It's like a childhood dream—ambition! I…I worked my ass off to make it here. You have no idea. I don't know anything else! Blitzball…Wanna know what my G.P.A. is? One-point-o. That means I pretty much average all F's. How am I still on the team you ask? Because people simply turn their heads. Because I'm good."
"You're just lazy Tidus! You could get better grades if you wanted to!"
"Maybe," Tidus said, "But I know I can get away with it. Because I'm good. Because I can play blitz. I can't take my chances. I gotta play. I gotta play now."
"That's fine," Yuna said, nodding, "I'm not telling you not to."
"Good," Tidus said, "That's how it is. I'm going to try to win tomorrow—or at least play better—and then I'm off to blitz camp and then as soon as I turn twenty, I'm in there."
"That's fine," Yuna said once again, "It's your life Tidus, and you are in charge of it."
"Exactly," Tidus said, "But I'll have no free time…And I…Hey! Doesn't it bother you to think that we'll only be able to see each other once every other month or so?
"Yes," Yuna answered honestly, "But it'll be alright."
"What about Gip?" Tidus asked, "How does he feel about that?"
"He'll miss you," Yuna answered, "But he'll be okay. No offense or anything Tidus, but I'm mostly worried about yourself. You're a little…You know…"
"Spoiled?" Tidus asked, a smile creeping on his lips, "Don't worry Yuna, it's all and act."
"I know that," Yuna said, "You act like a baby to get your way. Even Gippal knows that. What you don't realize Tidus, is what Gippal told me: You thrive on that kind of thing. That's not good. Sooner or later, people are going to stop giving you what you want."
"Not a chance," Tidus said, shrugging, "I know how to play people Yuna."
Yuna looked at the ground then, and she said, "Tell me this, Tidus. Have you ever played me?"
Tidus looked at her thoughtfully and said, "Possibly."
"When?" Yuna asked, shocked at his answer.
"A while ago," Tidus said, "But then I started to really fall for you. I don't know how to explain it. I thought, you know, you'd come, pick up the jersey, I'd flirt, you'd fall in love, and I'd take you back to my place. The next morning, you'd wake up and realize it had all just been a dream, and leave. End of story. But things didn't happen that way. It pissed me off, so I tried extra hard. I guess I was almost kind of stalker-ish. I followed you and your boyfriend to that restaurant. I made sure to jog just as you were getting out of class…I did everything I could to make you fall for me."
"You did?" Yuna asked, feeling shocked, "Because it really worked, you know! When you and I…Well, you know, last time when we were here…Tidus, I really honestly thought that was a one-night kind of thing. I was prepared for you to just ditch me and never talk to me again."
"Me too," Tidus said, smiling.
"So you did…" Yuna said, sighing, "What made you change your mind?"
"I don't know," Tidus said, "Something changed. On the way home that next morning, I couldn't stop thinking about you. The guys were all doing shots in the back of the bus, even though it was early Sunday morning, and they wanted me to join, but I just couldn't. I couldn't do anything."
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and Tidus stood up, only to stop.
"Yuna," he said, "You played me more than I played you, you know. Whether you meant it or not, I really am in love with you. I just want you to know that."
He didn't wait for her response then, and she had none, for she just sat there, staring at the wall in front of her.
She had assumed he cared, at least somewhat, but she hadn't thought he 'loved' her. She felt like crying, actually. She knew she couldn't though. Perhaps she wasn't as weak as she thought she was. Smiling, she turned to see who was at the door, just as Gippal walked in.
"Hey Yuna!" he greeted her, "Mind if Tidus and I go have a chat with the bus driver?"
"The bus driver?" Yuna asked.
"Yeah, we always go talk to him on Friday nights," Tidus said, laughing, "It's pretty much tradition."
"We have a cocktail and talk about tomorrow's game," Gippal said, "It's our pick-up."
"Go ahead," Yuna said, shrugging, "But should you really drink before tomorrow's game?"
"One doesn't hurt!" Gippal said cheerfully, "Although hey, if I'm not playing, I can probably have more!"
"Me too!" Tidus said with a huge smile.
"Yeah right, idiot," Gippal said, hitting him lightly on the head, "You shouldn't even have one. You're underage!"
"You are too!"
"I'm different," Gippal just said, "So anyway, see you later Yuna? Rikku's back at your room."
"Yeah, okay," Yuna said, "What do you guys do tomorrow?"
"Sleep," Tidus said, "Until like two. Then we eat lunch, and head out."
"Okay, I guess I'll see you later then," Yuna said, "Play hard tomorrow."
Tidus looked at her in an almost vacant way, before he finally nodded, and followed Gippal out the door.
Yuna smiled to herself, and left, heading back to her own room.
-
"The guys that came with us to have a drink said that today's game is going to be way better," Gippal said, taking his seat next to Rikku, "I hope they're right. I guess Coach chewed them out."
"That's good," Rikku said, "If we don't win today, the season's over!"
"That would be quite a shame," Gippal said, "Especially since we're the number one seed. It'd be a huge upset."
Yuna looked at the ground, and said, "How did Tidus seem when you left?"
"Alright," Gippal said, "He was pretty high in spirits for just losing. Why?"
"I think he's feeling guilty, like you said," Yuna said, "And I don't think he wants to leave this team."
"Well, he doesn't have to," Gippal said, "But he's afraid of an injury. And he could get injured—it's not like he's foolish or selfish to think that. Let's face it: the guy knows little outside of blitzball."
"How sad," Rikku commented, "I mean, that's his life. It's sad."
"It is sad," Yuna mused, "But somehow fitting. But I don't think his heart is in it right now. He's confused and doesn't know what he wants."
"I agree," Gippal said, "Tidus is a sure guy. But he's used to being told what to do. Now that he has to make up his own mind, he doesn't know what to do. He's indecisive, and probably rightfully so. I don't know what I would do if I were in his position."
"You'd stay, wouldn't you?" Rikku gasped.
"I don't know," Gippal admitted, "To be honest, I'd like to say I would, but Tidus has a great thing coming to him. We all play with the hope that we'll get on a pro team. And Tidus is everybody's number one pick. He'll be making some good money and living the high life. Which is what he wants. It's what we all want."
"Right," Yuna said.
Gippal didn't say anything, and he finally said, "What did Tidus say? Does he want to stay with us?"
"He does," Yuna said.
"What did you tell him?" Gippal asked then.
"I told him that he had to make up his own mind," Yuna said softly.
"Good," Gippal just said.
With that, the game began.
The three could tell immediately that the team was indeed playing better. The team swam faster and were much more into it than they had been the night before. Except for Tidus.
"Come on Tidus!" Gippal yelled loudly, "Get your head in the damn game!"
"What is his problem?" Rikku asked, "These guys need to win!"
"I know," Gippal said nervously, "I wish I could go out there and talk to him. I don't know what his deal is."
Yuna stared ahead and said, "Me neither."
"They can beat this team!" Gippal moaned, "If only Tidus would—."
Yuna cut him off.
"They can't rely on him!" Yuna said quickly, "He'll be gone next year, you know this Gippal! I almost think it's the pressure. And if he has a lot on his mind to begin with…Well, he can't play. He can't play under these conditions."
Gippal leaned back in his chair and nodded.
"You're right," he said, "We can't rely on Tidus. I don't think Tidus knows this though…"
"Me neither," Yuna said, "He tries too hard to please."
Just as she said that, Zanarkand made a goal.
"Coach is pulling Tidus out," Gippal said, sighing, "Who knows when he'll go back out…"
It wasn't long after that the Basilisks made a goal, tying the game.
"Maybe we'll pull this off after all," Gippal said, although he sounded nervous and unsure.
"If you guys lose," Rikku said, "Then what?"
"Well…" Gippal said, "Wanna know honestly."
"Yes."
"We party," Gippal said, "We're sad, you know, but only for an hour or so. We'll be out all night. We are college guys, after all."
"That's cool," Rikku said.
Yuna simply leaned forward. She didn't want to think about them losing. She didn't want it to end.
"Yunie, why do you look so down?" Rikku asked then, noticing her cousin appeared unhappy.
"Oh, I'm just trying to watch the game," Yuna said, forcing a smile, "I'm fine!" Of course, she wasn't fine. Tidus would be leaving. Even if he didn't want to, and even if Gippal didn't want him to, and even if she didn't want him to, he would be leaving. It was reality. He would be only a few hours away, but he'd be gone, and he'd be busy. Yuna would be busy too. She had school, after all.
Soon, it was halftime, and Tidus hadn't played since Zanarkand's goal.
"Will they put Tidus back in?" it was Rikku who asked.
"I don't know," Gippal said, "My guess is Coach will, but who knows."
The guys came back out then, and sure enough, Tidus was playing.
The game started back up, but Yuna sighed. It was still apparent that Tidus wasn't playing his best.
"Come on Tidus," Gippal muttered under his breath.
"He keeps looking at the scoreboard," Rikku said, "Why doesn't he pay attention to the game?"
Yuna sighed, closed her eyes, and said, "They need to leave him out."
"Are you serious?" Rikku cried, "Yunie, this could be his last game with the team!"
"I know," Yuna said, "But he's not playing well!"
"She has a point," Gippal said to Rikku, "But if I were a coach, I'd leave him in. Because it's his last game."
"Don't say that!" Rikku cried, "We're tied! We can still win!"
At that moment, Zanarkand scored.
The crowd was going wild, and fireworks went off in the stadium.
"They act like they've won!" Rikku cried, looking unhappy, "We still have half a game left!"
Soon, that half of the game was disappearing. Time was running out.
"We only have a minute left," Gippal said, after seemingly no time at all, "Come on guys, get a goal! Tidus, where a shorty right now?"
The guys were down a guy, for one had just gotten a penalty.
Yuna found herself staring at the floor and not at the game. In her head, she thought about that 'shorty' she had seen already over a month ago. That game with Baralai, when Tidus had navigated through the other team, and so smoothly past the goalie. She thought about what he had said when she had asked him about it. She knew it had been that moment when she had seen him make that goal that she was in love with him. That smoothness… That self-assuredness. Where was all of that now?
The final buzzer buzzed, and streamers in Zanarkand's colors went flying out. Yuna felt her heart fall.
They had lost.