White Lace
Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews guys. I am very happy with how well received Sasuke/Itachi's grandparents have been. As I don't believe they are really mentioned anywhere in the anime or magna (correct me if I'm wrong on that), they present the perfect opportunity for comic relief and to do so without being OOC.
Viewers Choice: What are your thoughts on a Hinata x Sasuke vampire or werewolf story?
New Story: For those interested, I just posted The Color Red. A Gaara x Sasuke. (I kinda think most of my Hinata x Sasuke shippers are pretty solidly in that camp. For those who are open to other pairings, I thought I'd let you guys know ^^.)
Chapter Four
Kenji just shakes his head. Normally his wife was more strategic. It was unlike her to just blow things up and charge in. That had always been more his style than hers. But the second you messed with her children or grandchildren, she would lash out like a lioness protecting her cubs.
He almost felt sorry for whoever was dumb enough to kidnap their grandsons and the other Leaf ninjas. His wife could be nothing short of vicious when properly motivated. Kidnapping her grandsons was an easy way to bring out said viciousness.
Well almost. They clearly had to pay after all. If there was anything left after his wife was done with them, he would probably bash their skulls in with his cane.
It was a nice cane. He was quite proud of it. It was made of solid steel and had a handsome dragon's face carved into it. He had placed some explosive tags in its mouth for emergencies. One never knew when such precautions would come in handy. Being a ninja, even a retired one, was a dangerous lifestyle.
"Do you see them?" Aiya asks.
"No. It's too dark in here. FIREBALL JUTSU." He says and summons a fireball for light. (Sometimes being from a fire clan could come in handy during situations like this.)
"This place is massive." She mutters.
"Yes. It's going to be difficult to find them." He agrees with his beautiful wife.
"My explosion should draw some guards to us. Then we can ask them." She says cheerfully.
"My love, they aren't just going to tell us where our grandsons and others are." Kenji points out.
"You say that as though I was going to give them a choice. You should know me better than that. Tsk." She says and takes his hand, walking down the hallway.
Meanwhile in the evacuation tunnels, Mikoto slams her husband onto the ground. Yes, they were right. There was more than one explosive tag. There was a whole arsenal of them. God dammit!
"Art is an explosion." She hears someone call out.
"Wonderful. That's exactly what we need a psychotic woman who thinks explosions are art." Fugaku says with a scowl.
"Woman?!" Deidara asks.
"I think…that's a man." Mikoto says.
"You're kidding me? With hair like that?" Fugaku asks and looks at Mikoto in disbelief.
"You are annoying, yeah?! I'm not a woman." Deidara growls in indignation.
"He's Akatsuki. Everyone stay back. They tend to travel in pairs. He belongs to a highly dangerous group of criminal ninjas." The Hokage warns the rescue team.
"You mean a highly dangerous group of cross dressers." Fugaku says with amusement.
"FUGAKU! Now is not the time for jokes." The Hokage hisses at him and couldn't believe that the other ninja was behaving so unprofessionally. (It was so unlike him.)
Mikoto couldn't help but giggle a bit at that one. She earns a glare from the Hokage for that offense. The Uchiha woman puts up her hands in an I'm Sorry gesture.
"I'll finish you off." Deidara promises and forms a large bird made out of clay.
Deidara was annoyed. How dare that man say he was a woman? Uchihas were the arrogant people he'd ever encountered.
He was actually worse than Itachi. Oh how he remembered that day when he first ran into the other man. He'd just dismissed Deidara, like he was nothing! Hmpf he'd teach that prick not to dismiss him one day.
He'd agreed to this mission because it was good money. The Akatsuki needed funds if it was going to carry out its mission. He honestly didn't care that some little ninja village wanted to breed super babies. It was no skin off his nose. But if it meant he could take out a couple Uchihas, well that was a very nice bonus.
"HEY! DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!" Naruto growls out, back with the other kidnapped ninjas.
"Hmm well he is very loud." One of the kidnappers muses.
"Extremely so. But energetic is always a plus. They weren't kidding when they spoke of the Uzumaki vitality." Another muses.
Sasuke hears someone shouting. He would recognize that loud voice anywhere. It had to be Naruto. He had to try.
"NARUTO!" He calls out.
"SASUKE! Are you alright?!" He calls back.
"Fine for now." He responds.
"These people are crazy!" He hears the other man shout.
"Is he always so loud?" The fake Hinata asks.
"You have no idea." Sasuke mutters.
"Hmm perhaps I should take you someplace more private. He is kinda putting a damper on my mood." She informs him.
"I've had the same thought myself many times. But I'm not going along with this. This is sick." Sasuke scowls.
"Well like I said, it'd be much more fun if you were cooperative. But really, we just need genetic samples and that doesn't take much cooperation." She says and pulls out some type of medical kit.
"What the Hell is that?" Sasuke growls.
"Quite simply it's a drug to make you more cooperative. I'll just take the samples and that will be that." She says cheerfully.
"There is no way in fucking Hell that is going to happen." Sasuke snarls at the clearly insane woman.
"Mmm I am curious. What is it about her that got your attention? The records indicate a fairly significant age gap," in the next room Kurenai double asks.
"I owe you nothing." Itachi says.
"I suppose not. I just find it interesting. Your brother is pursuing someone his own age. You are pursuing a widow." She muses.
"It's none of your concern. When I get out of here you are a dead woman. Dead women don't need to worry about such things." He warns her.
"My, my. You are so vicious." She muses.
Suddenly a loud BOOM goes off. It startled his tormentor enough that she leaves Itachi. The Hinata imposter also was stunned. Both sisters head out into the hallway, instantly on guard.
"Security breach." The elder sister says and hit's a button on the wall.
Naruto blinks when he hears the explosion. He knew that attack. Dragon strike? Wasn't that the bastard's grandma trademark attack? Couldn't be. That'd take way too much chakra for an old woman to use.
Meanwhile the falcon reaches the evacuation tunnels. Deidara sees it coming and tosses an explosion at it. But Mikoto makes a dive underneath it and grabs the scroll it had.
To Tunnel Team,
We found an underground passage way in the Forest of Death. It was dug out in the earth and covered over. We have made it visible. Aiya and I are going on up ahead to see if our comrades are inside. Please come immediately for backup.
Kenji.
"Shame that was father's favorite." Fugaku sighs and mourns the loss of the Summon.
"I really hate animal abusers." Mikoto says and activates her Genjutsu.
Fugaku smirks to himself. He didn't know what his wife made the man see, but it must have been horrific. He was soon screaming in terror. Fugaku while he appreciated Mikoto's dramatic flare, preferred a more direct approach. He gets behind the blonde man and knocks him out.
"What'd you make him see?" The Hokage asks.
"I made him see being eaten alive by his art." She says with a sweet smile.
"Fugaku, your wife is a little scary sometimes." The Hokage says and rubs the back of their head.
"I know. That's why I love her. The Forest of Death Team found something. We have to go." He says.
The Tunnel Team heads to the Forest of Death, after sending word to the Random Team. It didn't take long to figure out where his father meant. He could sense his mother-in-law's chakra.
She must have released the Dragon Strike. This was serious if she was willing to expend that much chakra in one go. That or she just wanted to show off. It was hard to tell. Crazy old woman! Fugaku swore she got even more crazy with every passing year.
"Sometimes I think they truly believe they are still teenagers." Mikoto mutters.
"Agreed. Overgrown children." He says.
"Mhm." She says darting inside the opening.
"MIKOTO! WAIT!" Fugaku says and chases after his wife. (Damn she was just as crazy as her mother!)
"My dear, it seems we have company." Kenji says his back against his wife's in a defensive position.
"Seems that way. How many you think?" She asks.
"At least thirty. Fortunately, it's too cramped in here for them all to have a go at once. So we are likely facing five at a time max." He informs her.
"Oh is that all?" She asks sarcastically.
"They are clearly going quantity over quality." He states.
"Awe aren't they cute? They are going to die together. That's so romantic." Someone muses.
"Maybe we can just knock them out. I'd feel guilty about killing a grandma and grandpa." One offers.
"Funny, we were just about to make the same offer to you." Kenji says and activates his Sharingan.
"Careful. No telling if the old codger can wield that fully." A woman yells seeing it.
"Old codger?" He scowls.
The other ninjas fly at the elderly couple. Kenji using his cane to block the worst of the attacks. His wife, Gods and Goddesses bless her, was literally spitting fire at them.
It was enough to make them keep at least a little distance between them. He was tempted to see if she had enough chakra for an Amaterasu, but it was a bad idea in such close quarters. No this situation called for more suitable methods than the flames of Hell.
That's when he saw it. A kunai flying at her. He slams his wife to the ground and cries out in pain when it weapon pierces into his shoulder blade, straight through the bone.
"KENJI!" She calls out in horror.
"Father!" Fugaku calls out.
"Son?" He asks, blinking.
"Damn now they are going to treat us like invalids the rest of our lives." Aiya scoffs.
"They'll be insufferable." Kenji agrees and tries to laugh through the pain.
"Mikoto, Fugaku, get them out of here. I'm going to clear the place." The Hokage says and releases a powerful water jutsu that slams through the hallway all the way and forces the fighters along with the powerful current, until they were smashed against the wall.
Some were knocked unconscious. Others killed instantly. But it got the job done.
"Everyone fan out. I assume that our comrades are being kept inside the rooms." The Hokage orders.
Fugaku gently grabs his father and helps him to his feet. Damn them. That kunai was lodged deeply in his shoulder. He was going to need a medic to get it out. The Uchiha Patriarch didn't think he could yank it out without causing further damage.
"I've had worse, my son." He assures him and is escorted out by him.
"Aiya?" Mikoto asks.
"I'm fine. It's Kenji and my grandsons that I'm worried about. Oh and the other kidnapped ninjas." She adds as an afterthought.
"We'll get them out." She assures her mother-in-law and follows her own husband.
Soon enough Leaf ninjas were flooding the hideout. Sasuke sighs in relief when Shisui finds him. His cousin slices the chains off him with a sword.
"You okay?" He asks.
"Yeah. I think so. We have to help Itachi and Naruto! They got captured too!" He says.
"Don't worry about it. We have quite the impressive rescue party lined up for you guys. Shame really. Being tied up by a woman is usually more enjoyable for future reference. I hope this doesn't turn you off such games in the future." He adds with a smirk.
"You are such a pervert!" Sasuke says and shakes his head, scowling at his cousin's perversion.
"Yeah. Someone has to be. You two are practically monks." He laughs and leads him out of the room.
Kurenai was getting Itachi out of his chains. Shisui gives Sasuke a look like see? See what I mean? Sasuke lets out an amused snort.
"I'm gonna go find the loser. Looks like Itachi is in good hands." Sasuke says dryly and looks around.
"Damn loser. That looks painful. They shot you up with that lust drug, huh?" Sasuke asks and winces once he finds Naruto in the room across from where Itachi was being held.
"STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT BASTARD!" Naruto blushes and yells in outrage.
"It's kinda hard not to notice. Hang on, I'll get you out of there and you can go take a cold shower or something." Sasuke says, freeing the embarrassed blonde.
"Thanks, bastard. Have you seen Hinata?" He asks.
"No. I saw Kurenai though. So she should be around here." Sasuke says and looks around as if he expected to see the Hyuga Heiress to come bounding through the door.
"I heard the Dragon Strike called out. I think your grandma is here." He says.
"Fuck! My grandparents are just crazy enough to come charging into enemy territory without backup. I better go make sure they are alright." Sasuke says and darts off.
"This is going to hurt," Sasuke overhears Sakura say.
"Young lady, I am a ninja. I can take it. I assure you that I've had far worse. Just yank the blasted thing out of me." He overhears his grandfather say with his voice full of bluster.
"Alright." She says and removes the kunai.
"GOD DAMMIT!" He growls out.
"Sorry, I warned you." Sakura mutters and starts bandaging the injury.
"Will he be alright?" Aiya asks.
"Yeah he should be. I wouldn't use that arm if he can help it since it went clear through the shoulder bone." She says.
"Thank you. Sasuke!" Aiya cries out happily at seeing him.
"Grandmother! How is he?" He rushes over.
"In pain but he'll be alright." She says, as much to reassure herself as Sasuke.
"Quit your fussing. It's going to take a lot more than a kunai to take me away from you." He says with a smile and pokes his wife's forehead.
"Good. Because if you die, I'll kill you." Aiya tells him.
"My love…that doesn't make any sense." He says.
"It doesn't have to make sense! I will find a way to do it." She promises him.
"Looks like he's going to be okay." Itachi says, having left the hideout and walking alongside Kurenai.
"Did we get everyone out?" Fugaku asks.
"I think so. We are checking for more injuries." The Hokage answers.
"Good. Sakura, was it?" Fugaku questions.
"Yeah!" She says.
"Is he stable enough to take home?" The ninja inquires.
"Should be." She answers.
"Alright. Let's head home." He says to his family.
"Kurenai, can you make sure Hinata is alright for me?" Sasuke asks as he joins his family.
"Of course. Go. Your grandfather needs you." She says and the Uchihas head off.
Later that night, Sasuke noticed his grandfather was in a suspiciously happy mood for someone that just had a kunai jammed into their shoulder blade. He raises an eyebrow. Curious, he decides just to ask.
"Grandfather? You look…smug about something." He says.
"Oh well you know, getting stabbed is never fun. But I enjoy it when she makes a fuss. Plus she is going to wear the red silk tonight." He says.
"Red silk?" He asks.
"Oh yes. It's important in a marriage to realize what your spouse likes. I confess that I like it when she wears red silk, particularly lingerie." He says.
"That's a little disturbing. I mean you two are…" He trails off.
"Old. Not dead." He scowls.
"Okay. Okay." Sasuke says and raises his hands up in surrender.
"Your father is memory serves is fond of leopard prints and lace." He muses.
"…FATHER WHY ARE YOU DISCUSSING SUCH THINGS WITH SASUKE?!" Fugaku growls in outrage, having been walking around the hallway and overheard the conversation.
"What? He's 19. He's a man. I am bonding with my grandson. You are clearly to shy to make sure that your sons are educated about such things!" Kenji says.
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear this…disturbing conversation." Fugaku says scoffing and heads off.
"Ah good. The fuddy duddy is gone. I love my son, but he really needs to lighten up. He's going to give himself an ulcer at this rate." Kenji states.
"Yeah…he does need to relax more." Sasuke concedes.
"Now my boy. As your grandfather, it falls on me to impart various wisdom on you. So it is your turn." He says.
"My turn to what?" Sasuke asks.
"Say what you like. I told you that I am fond of red silk." He clarifies.
"We aren't having this conversation. It's so wrong." The younger Uchiha says.
"Foolish little brother. Just humor the old man." Itachi says and shuts the door behind him, carrying in some medicine for Kenji.
"White lace." He grumbles.
"Ohhh. You go for the innocent type. Submissive and kind. I recommend the traditional courtship. Things like flowers and calling her beautiful. Fairly straight forward. You will have to go slow of course as she's likely shy." He answers.
"…You got all that from her lingerie?" Sasuke asks, not sure if he should be disturbed or impressed.
"Yup! Itachi." Kenji says.
"Purple and satin." He replies without bating an eyelash.
"Ah you prefer a more experienced woman. You'll have to make the first move. But after that, I imagine she prefers to take the reigns. That is a woman who knows what she wants." He says thoughtfully.
"Yeah. I'm thoroughly traumatized for life. Thanks grandfather. Get some rest okay?" Sasuke asks.
"Of course. I know it's embarrassing but trust me, you'll find it helpful. I would like to see great grandchildren before I die." He says.
Itachi shakes his head in amusement. He opens the door for Sasuke, who sneaks off in embarrassment. Truly his grandfather was one of a kind.