Day 4

"Clary" I heard a distant male voice call to me as I felt a touch on my shoulder, but I couldn't see him. Not though the darkness. "How can you sleep this much? It's already eleven and the guys will be here any minute" Jace? Was that the voice's owner? What was he doing here, it's not safe? He can't be here, not now. "Clary, get your lazy ass out of bed" wait I'm dreaming, I have to be, right?

The doors to my hiding Place flew open and the light of the outside world surround the figure I feared most in the world. He was like a plagued shadow in the light, fighting off the bright lights that revealed his form to the world.

I screamed as I saw him reach out for me.

And suddenly it was all gone again, I was home, sitting up in my bed with my hand grasped tightly onto Jace's wrist; I hadn't even realized I'd grabbed him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed looking down on me, a look of confusion on his face. The light shining through the window of my bedroom, was sitting directly onto him, bright and shining against his golden hair. His relationship with it was so much different, it suited him. In its ray, he resembled an angel, pure and almost untouchable.

I let go of his wrist and smiled. "Sorry. You startled me a bit."

His eyes crawled below my skin

"Are you ok" his voice was soft and calm as his eyes surrounded my own. I nodded my head afraid my voice may betray my mask. "I'm sorry; I should have maybe tried to wake you with a more gentle approach."

"It would have happened even then- it's fine, don't worry about It." he watched me silently.

Quiet air consumed the room for what felt like an eternity of frozen time.

Then came, his soft tone, "I have no right to ask, so I won't, but I'm still sorry. Whatever it is, it's not real, you don't need to be scared." his words held nothing but truth, and thin lines of his hidden sorrow.

He had been like this ever since I had found him in his uncle's place- I could see a fear that owned him through sadness. But I couldn't figure out what it is that turned him so, burdened. And to be honest, I was afraid to ask- even if he sometimes made me feel brave, he could still send shivers throughout my petite body.

"Why are-" I started grasping onto my courage like a safety rope, only to be interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing. I swear to fucking god, phones solely exist to interrupt people, mainly me!

He reached into his pocket with a low grown and pressed it to his ear. "Hey" he said. He listened intently and let out a sigh of relief. "Alright see you in twenty!" he hung up the phone without another word and shoved it back I his jean pocket. "Thank god their running late." he said with a small laugh.

I took in his appearance. His hair was ruffled and ready for the day, his chin freshly shaved and smooth. Then it struck me. He's not wearing a shirt again; does he always walk around like that? God that's distracting-wait what's that. On his right shoulder was a mark that caught my eye, it was small and star shaped. I involuntarily reached out to touch it, feeling his warmth under my hand as I ran my thumb over the strange mark. His voice caught me off guard, but I didn't move away as he spoke, "It's a birthmark, my dad had it too. When I was a kid, he liked to say it meant I was a star. But we both knew it was just a mark." my fingertips grazed lightly down over the mark then back up over it, my fingertips just barely touching his soft skin.

I held my hand there, looking him in the eyes once more as I spoke. "Everyone is marked in someway Jace, the only thing that matters, is how you see your mark." I felt the memory burn into my back, reminding me of the pain, but most of all, the shame.

"I guess so" he said as I took my hand away.

"Alright get out of my room and put a freaking shirt on. I'll be out in a minute."

He stood up and strolled to the door, "You know, I think I may stay like this all day, I'm sure Magnus and Alec won't mind, not at all." he teased, stopping and turning slightly as he reached my door. "Not that I don't think you mind, the women never do." I picked up a pillow and chucked it at him as I caught eye of the gigantic smirk encased across his face.

He laughed and dodged it with complete grace. Ass.

...

I was just getting outside when a car pulled into Jace's driveway. I walked over to him, feeling him relax as I stepped beside him, keeping my eyes planted on the old four door car. "You ok?" He asked in a calm voice. He was still thinking about what had happened earlier, still worrying, god I wish he would just let something go. I could feel his glance on the side of my face, searching for an expression, I tried to hide.

"I'm fine Jace, everyone has bad dreams." I said as Alec and Magnus emerged from the car.

Magnus was dressed in a black cloth Jacket and a bright blue tee shit that was splatted with different colored paints and jeans that had holes and what looked to me like nail polish stains all over them. His dark hair was sticking up in almost every direction as always. He carried a tray of Starbucks Styrofoam cups and a medium sized bag.

Something about the difference between Alec and Magnus caught my eye. Magnus was Flashy, with his wild hair, purple painted nails and different styled clothing. Whereas Alec's hair was only slightly out of place, his fingers clean and his clothing (Worn jeans, a grey tee shirt and a leather jacket) were casually regular. They were so different, but you could plainly see just how little they cared about how the other dressed.

"Hey Jace, Clary." Alec spoke up as he and Magnus reached were we we're standing on the porch.

"Hey" I returned as I caught site of Jace's nod.

"We come bearing gifts!" Magnus said as he passed me a coffee and what looked to be a blueberry muffin.

"Thank you" the words tumbling from my mouth in my still groggy state as I Sipped from the cup.

We all settled into a seat and chowed down. Exempt for Jace who hadn't touched his muffin. He simply fiddled with the cup in him hands.

"So what I it you need us for Jace?" Alec asked as he wiped the coffee off his lips with his sleeve. He seemed to have noticed how Jace was acting.

"Um, well I have the whole upstairs ready to be painted-except for one room that I haven't quite figured out what to do with it yet" a shadow of inner conflict encased Jace's expression as he clearly tried to suppress the emotion. "Other than that I have furniture I need to move out on the main floor. So you two can either help clary paint or help me lug."

Magnus almost immediately smirked and turned his wild eyes towards me. "Well I'm not much for manual labor, so I guess that means I will be joining you my dear." He let out a small laugh -as I rolled my eyes- and turned to Alec. "Do you think I can leave you in Jace's presence without him trying to seduce you?"

"No promises" Jace muttered with a shit eating grin covering his flirty, cocky ass face.

"Go easy on him; he's always had a weak spot for-"

"Magnus!" Alec cut him off with a warning tone. This was clearly nothing far from regular behavior for the two.

He simply smirked to himself and let out a sigh. "I guess my husband doesn't want me to discuss his sexual turn ons" Alec appeared to turn a shade whiter as Magnus spoke to Jace. "Such. A. Pity!" Then he turned on me and I felt the fear reach down into my stomach and pull to my throat at the sight of his mischief filled expression. "Clary my dear, what turns a girl such as yourself into a raging sex machine" Ok, I'm going to be honest I had expected him to ask me something ridiculous, but not that ridiculous, and I had never thought that he would ask me a question that would actually make me think.

"Um" was all that escaped my mouth. I looked first over at Alec who seemed to be well amused at his husband's actions. I then turned my gaze to find Jace- amusement gone- with a thoughtful look on his face. He lifted his eyes to meet mine and winked at me, telling me to just play along.

Was it weird that, I understood what he was saying to me? He hadn't even opened his mouth, he just, acted like he always did, and I understood. Am I becoming to invested in him, or is it normal for people to just know each other so well? I haven't even known him that long!

"Alcohol, it's the secret to every woman. Don't tell them I told you. Not that it matters , you and Alec are Gay and its nothing Jace obviously didn't know."

"Amen to That" Alec Laughed, clearly indicating Jace's man whore habits.

"Well I certainly didn't know that was how to get into your pants!" Jace muttered. This side of him, I'd come to understand it as his false skin, like armor to the delicate flesh he so freely showed me when it was just the two of us. I could understand this act he put up, his actions were so similar to my own, yet his weren't to protect himself, not really. He hid, to protect others, from himself, not because he needed a shield.

"So now you're thinking about how to get in my pants?" I smirked at him.

"You can't blame him Clary, I mean come on, your one fantastic girl" Magnus winked at me with that big smile on his face. "You're Beautiful, artistic, kind and have a fiery personality that matches your hair." I found myself staring at Magnus as he spoke. There was something off about this guy, something that made me question him further than I probably should have, but what can I say, I'm paranoid.

…..

I could feel his wild eyes, watching me, studying, and learning. He wasn't looking for an answer, no, that wasn't the look in his eyes, it was more like, he wanted a result. Not an answer, but a reaction. I had never not been able to tell what it was, a people wanted from me, but him, all I could see was that curios, dangerous looming glance that pressed upon the side of my face as he chatted on and on.

He didn't even say anything; it was just blabbering on about one subject then somehow moving onto another without warning. It's like he didn't even know what he wanted to talk about; he just simply spoke whatever came to his mind. But, I found it comforting for some reason-even with him watching me so closely- I found that the sound of his voice and light smile eased my mind.

As he talked on, I simply, continued to paint over the bland white walls with the defined honey dew green color Jace had given us. This was our second room we were painting out of the four, and even after spending so much time in this room, I still wondered what this room had once been to Jace. Was this the room his uncle slept in, the office that his desk sat in, or was this once the room that Jace had laid his head down at night? Could this be simply a place of memory, of cold emotions that sat at the base of his core? Could this room represent some past that made him smile that he so often had to fake? I asked myself a new question with every stroke of my fine brush, only to tell myself over and over again, that it was not my place to ask.

"Clary?" Magnus questioned. I turned my head slightly to look at him, his brush having stopped high up as he tilted his head my way.

"Yes?"

"Jace" He started, his smile fading a little. "I can see he's trying, and I know that, but can you tell me if you think it's working, is he becoming a better person?" There was a worry on his face I hadn't seen before, he was normally so happy, so put together. Was he so troubled bellow that skin of his?

"Why would you ask me?" I pulled my hand away from the wall, bringing it to rest easy at my side as I stepped to face Magnus. He looked away, staring at the wall for a moment, while he composed his answer.

"People like you and me; we know things about people, things that we learned along the way. But I can't tell, and your so much closer to him, you guys have this silent connection that simplifies understanding." I tried to focus on an answer for him, trying to not think about what he meant when he compared us.

"Jace is the guy he's always been, he's the guy Alec knew him to be." Magnus stiffened. "The one he hid for almost his entire life, still sometimes tries to hide. He's a complicated subject, but if you look, you will see just a lost little boy looking to prove just all he can be." Finally Magnus lifted his head to look at me, a question present in his eyes. "He won't hurt Alec, not again, not ever again. Jace is going to do everything in his power to earn Alec's forgiveness and even when he gets it, he won't stop looking for it till he thinks he's done enough, which he will never believe he has."

"You believe that?"

"I do" I responded, letting the room fall silent. After a moment my tone broke the non-sound filled air "What did you mean by 'People like you and me', how are we alike?"

"I would know that look on your face anywhere." His voice was calm and steady. "Growing up, I had that same look. Before I met Alec I had a fucked life, my dad beat the shit out of me every day of my childhood, other kids taunted me for being different, and then I got involved in drugs" He set the paint brush down and rolled up his sleeves, showing the gory needle scars that covered his arms. I wanted to cringe at the thought of a desperate Magnus pressing a needle into his arm. "I know the look of an abused person, the sorrow in their eyes, the untrusting movements and the present anger that sits deep inside their skin."

I was quiet for a long time, staring at his arms that he still held out to me. I thought for what felt like forever as to what I should be saying to him, but all the things I should have been asking, should have been feeling, weren't there inside me. Instead I found myself wondering something that surprised me. "And Alec helped you?" I felt sorry for him, but I also envied him for what he had.

A smile spread over him as he dropped his arms and picked up his paint brush again. "Yes, he made everything right in the world. It was like, I suddenly found someone I wanted to be different for, I wanted to be better for him." He talked softly as he began painting again, his tone, not far from blissful. I felt my heart jump at the words he so enjoyed.

"How did you meet Alec?" I asked starting to paint again, pretending as if he hadn't just peeled back layers of my skin as easy as if I were a freaking banana. Not that I was angry about it, because to be honest, I wasn't. Any other time, I think I would have walked out that door and never came back. But things are different now, my life is changing before my eyes, and I'm willing to let this odd man know me. Perhaps because it meant that I didn't have to hide with him, like I didn't hide with Jace.

"I was hosting a party at my place, for graduating. My dad was a rich guy and I wanted to trash his house as a going away present. I put up flyers in all the known addict areas.

…FLASHBACK…

"What the hell do you-" the dark haired boy started with an anger that normally would have faced me. But it doesn't this time, not now.

"I want you to leave, now!" I snarled at him.

"What the hell, I haven't done anything to you! And what right do you have to kick me out!" He forced at me.

"This is my party and, we both know this isn't your scene. Good kids should be in bed by now!" The glare that left his blue eyes was so strong that it both killed and teased me. That sounds weird.

"Well I guess it's a good thing I'm not a good kid." He looked back towards my home, well what was left of it. "Look, if I did something to piss you off, sorry, I'm just here for a hook up."

"You're not into drugs and you're better off not trying them at all." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a smoke, lighting it as I spoke. "Didn't anyone ever tell you drugs are bad for you?"

"Oh, you're one to talk, look at yourself, I saw you earlier, popping pills like candy. Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do?" God he's dam bratty!

"I'm a screw up with no future. How about you, I bet your pretty smart, maybe to have a dream or two?"

"Don't act like you know me!"

"You're that kid who puts everyone else above himself, who's self-conscious about everything he does and is left to his thoughts in a way that turns him into this sad, self-hating child ashamed of his own shadow!" God those eyes, they were just so, intense, like they were pleading with me as I spoke. His mouth opened and closed, clenching his jaw hard. "What's your name?" I asked letting out a soft sigh.

"Alec Lightwood, and yours?"

"Did you know, your name means 'defending men' in Greek?"

"I've heard!" He laughed

"I'm Magnus Bane" I grinned at the sight of his smile. "How about we take a walk? You can tell me why you're trying to ruin your life, and if I can't change your mind, we can come back."

His happy image faded for a moment as his eyes turned back to the party, his face was thoughtful and unsure. Yet he said, "Sure", with a sound of conflict that held resident with Caution. I hope I can change his mind.

….END FLASHBACK….

"So you changed his mind?" I asked when Magnus finished telling me his story, wait, correction his and Alec's story.

"No honey, I failed and now he's driven his life into a bottomless pit of failure, doesn't he look like a drug addict" his voice was lined with sarcasm as he smiled over at me! "Yes, I got him to change his mind, and he changed my view on life, whether he realized it or not. But enough about me! I want to know what the whole deal with you and Jace is!"

"There is no deal. He's just someone from high school, crashing on my couch."

"That's not something people who went to high school together do, and it's even less likely when they didn't even speak to each other before a few weeks ago." I gave him a blank stare as if to ask him how he knew so much, "Alec's a gossip" he explained.

"Jace refused to leave, and I don't really like cops. So I just took him in. even though I didn't have enough room for his ego"

"I'm sure that's it"

…..

"Hey guys me and Magnus are heading over next door to get some beer, you two want us to bring you back some?" I called out to the two shirtless men carrying a couch into the back yard. They both whipped they're heads around, with an excited expression shared across both faces.

"Hell yes! We just got a call from Izzy and Simon; they are on their way with a pizza." Alec said as they both set down the couch in a tired effort. When I looked around, and from what I could see it appeared to be the last thing left, except for another couch, the one Jace had been sitting on last night.

"They just decided to bring us a pizza?"

"That has Izzy written all over it, always ready to snoop" Magnus spoke out as he laughed to himself.

"She wanted to talk about the plans me and Magnus have with her tonight. She wants us to go to this club."

"Guys, lets discuss this after we have alcohol!" Jace puts with his signature tone that represents his false egotistical nature!

"Alright Jace! Common Clary let's go get the baby his bottle!" The older man spoke with a wink. Jace made a rude hand gesture has Magnus led me out the door, chatting my ear off about how he planned to get wasted tonight. I liked to idea.

We walked slowly, laughing together as He spoke. I simply watched my feet half listing to him. You know, I don't remember when I started acting like this. I don't remember when I had started laughing all the time, smiling, had it been like this a day ago? Had I been happy a week ago? Was this happening now, am I finally going to live my life? Is this all because of Jace?

"Welcome home Clarissa" Her failure Voice was like a shriek of pain as the air left my lungs. When had I stopped playing this game safe, when did I fail to check every corner before rounding it? When I lifted my head, I met eyes with the dragon lady that guarded hell, Jocelyn. "Well, we both know you never left" She snarled, god I didn't miss that, or her at all.

"Who are you?" Magnus asked

"Magnus-" I started but was interrupted by the witch.

"I'm her mother" The words burned deep in my soul, scratching at my insides and forcing shame to bleed from my pores.

"Really? You aren't at all alike" Thank god!

"She's not my real mother" I spoke out.

"Being adopted, she wasn't gifted with my looks" She replied seemly uninterested.

"Yes, well gladly she didn't get much else!" He laughed bitterly.

"Magnus, can you go get Jace for me?" I asked looking up at his face, finding a cautious look, but also a protective expression. It was odd, but that's what I saw.

"Clarissa, aren't you going to introduce me? Your manners could really use some work!"

I ignored her and instead focused on Magnus who now looked down on me, studying me. Any other time I would have hid from the world, but I needed him to leave, I needed him to see this feeling inside me, this feeling even I myself can't label. "Please" I lightly willed him with my words, begging him with my eyes. "I need Jace, right now"

He turned without a word, and went towards the house. He walked at a fast pace, not running.

"I don't understand you Clary. Don't you remember what your father told you? No one is ever going to want to be your friend! And the only people, who will ever love you, are your parents."

"I never knew my parents!" I pushed my words back at her, turning my head to look at her angered disgusting face.

"How do you look yourself in the mirror? You can't feel anything, can you? You're just another piece of trash left to rot." She stared me down, willing me to fall beneath her words like a ragdoll. "We really did a number on you didn't we?"

"I do care; I can look myself in the mirror because I'm still human, because I do have friends and because I do love them." I expected to be talking about Simon, but I found the words reminded me more of Jace.

"Really? Because I'm sure your father would love to hear about that, he never liked sharing you much. You're his after all, but you know you're acting out; it could be your punishment. I could let him explain to your so called friends; exactly what it is that happens when people don't listen to their parents!" She threatened. I felt a pain in my chest as the reality of what she said sunk in, as I embraced the idea that these people being near me could be dangerous for them. Just being seen with me, could destroy their lives. It was weird; I couldn't remember a time before when she had spoken like she actually thought Luke was a bad guy.

"What do you want?" I said through a defeated stare.

"I want you to give this whole act up, stop pretending Clary, the closest thing you have to people who give a damn about you, is me and Luke. I want you to do what I tell you, or I will tell him. I will tell him how you avoided me, kicked me out, how I caught you hanging around with these people and I will tell him how a shirtless man answered your door, Oh yeah he would love that last one.

Ok, so I have to explain some things don't I?

Well first off I need to apologize again about how late this chapter is, I'd worked really hard on it and then had some huge computer problems and lost half my hard drive. This is a long chapter, but it's still not as long and amazing as how it was when I first wrote it, but I did my best to recreate it. I spent quite a bit of time writing on my phone, however I couldn't post from it, so that means within the next week or so I will have the next chapter Up. I'm really sorry guys; don't hate me for making you wait so long to move along with the story.

Also I wanted to let you guys know that I will now be using a Tumblr account to post snippets and whatever I feel like posting. Feel free to follow me, ask me questions, send me stuff, whatever you feel like doing!

The link is on my profile! I don't have much posted yet. BUT SOON!

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You guys know the drill, I want questions, ideas, suggestions, I just like when you guys talk to me!

I know you guys wanted to hear more from Jace- I got that much from the messages that filled my inbox, and no this wasn't from Jace but I had had this all planned out before hand, and you will be hearing from Jace in the next chapter (He may even do something bad XD).

AGAIN REVIEW!