A/N: Hello lovely readers! I hope you're enjoying your weekends! I know I am while I write this! Anyway, I really like this chapter, because at least one of our favorite pairing admits they have feelings for the others! It's just full of sweet moments between the two
Again! I'll continue to respond to reviews so please let me know what you think or if you have any suggestions! I welcome ideas!
Review Responses:
Meldz: I understand completely! I'm still haven't decided yet if there will be lemons yet, but if there are, I'll have to change the rating to M, which can eliminate a whole lot of readers If I do end up writing lemons, I'll make a second story so that people who want to read the lemon version may if they wish! You'll know when we get there, but unfortunately, it might not be for a little bit!
Suzululu4moe: I love the inner thinkings of Harry as well! I'm hoping to include more as we go on as well! I think it makes the characters' thoughts more clear! Just wait with Hedwig, if you've read the summary, perhaps you can figure out what I have in store for her LOL, your comments make me laugh! Please keep them coming
Lozzy035: You'll like this chapter! But again, it will still take a little while for them to admit their feelings to each other! Keep reading to find out
RedPandaPatronus: Thank you for your kind comments! I'm really glad you like the story, and I hope you respond to my next chapter!
Pawsrule: Thank you! I hope you like the next chapter!
ElizabethAnnSophia: I hope you like this chapter! Thanks for your review
Guests: Thank you for your reviews! I wish you would log in so I can properly thank you! I certainly fixed the text, thank you for catching that! I do try my best with spelling and grammar and such! But unfortunately I am no writer and I have no editor, so I might miss some spellings! If anything is not clear or there are specific words that you'd like to point out, I will go back and fix them! Unfortunately, I don't quite have the time I would like to spend on these things, so the spelling/grammar might suffer a tad because of that! Other than that I'm really glad you like the story! And I hope you continue to review!
Dennisud: I'm glad you like the pacing! I'm still a tad worried about it, but I guess we'll see how it goes! Please continue to review, and I hope you like this chapter! We do get a bit of progress in this chapter, but we're a little far away from Harry and Hermione getting together
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter!
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Harry Potter, otherwise Hermione and Harry would have ended up together!
Chapter 4:
It had been two days since Harry and Hermione had arrived at her muggle house. Mr. and Mrs. Granger had warmed to Harry almost instantly, and the four of them spent each night together discussing everything and anything that had happened in the last year as Hermione's parents wanted to know all about how Harry had defeated the Dark Lord and how Hogwarts was being rebuilt.
Hermione and Harry blushed at Mrs. Granger's assumption that Harry and Hermione were a couple at first, but Hermione quickly spoke about Harry's somewhat relationship with Ginny and Hermione's futile relationship with Ron. Neither of them dared to look at the other, but Hermione became very aware of Harry's leg touching her leg while they sat next to each other on the couch. Harry on the other hand became quite aware of Hermione's fingers which occasionally rested on his arm.
On the second night of their stay, Harry and Hermione decided that they would leave in the morning for Surrey and then search for Hedwig later that afternoon. Hermione knew that the next day would be difficult for Harry. He didn't really want to go back to his aunt and uncle's house, but Hermione knew that he should collect all of his things and say a proper goodbye to his long-standing home in order to get some closure. He also didn't want to find Hedwig's remains, but he did want to properly bury her, something Hermione thought should wait a little while for reasons she had yet to disclose to Harry.
Later that night, after Hermione had finished packing, she hopped in the shower, cleansing herself of the awkward questions her mother had asked Harry and her earlier that night. She used her wand to turn on some music that she could sing to and began lathering her hair with frizz-controlling shampoo; it never worked as well for her as it did for the girls in the commercials though. Yet she still used it every time she was in the shower.
As Hermione sang, she thought about all the things her mother had mentioned earlier: Harry was fiercely protective of Hermione, the two were practically always together, and it seemed that Hermione could tell Harry anything. Hermione had brushed those thoughts aside, believing that those were qualities of a best friend…but she couldn't help but think that there could be something more between them. Maybe her mom had sensed her feelings for Harry, but then again how could her mother know what Hermione felt when Hermione herself didn't even know what she felt for Harry.
After she pulled a towel around her body, she opened the shower curtain and found Harry brushing his teeth. "Sorry!" he yelped, immediately turning around to face Hermione; his checks were burning red almost instantly. Harry was only wearing his pajama bottoms, and Hermione couldn't help but blush at Harry's quite toned chest and back muscles. Perhaps he should fight dark wizards more often, she thought, but then quickly revoked that thought. Harry was equally embarrassed at Hermione's complete lack of clothing; the only thing that covered her was a thin towel. His thoughts trailed to what was under that towel, but he quickly pushed them aside. He reminded himself it was his best friend in front of him after all, not someone else.
"Oh, no!" Hermione said as she wrapped her bathrobe around her towel to cover herself more. "It's your bathroom too." She tried to convince herself it was alright, but she couldn't shake the thought that Harry had almost seen her completely naked. She blushed at the thought and continued toward the sink to grab her toothbrush to brush her own teeth.
"I'm all packed." Harry noted casually, hoping to change the subject.
"Excellent!" Hermione smiled as she began brushing her teeth with her favorite spearmint toothpaste. "I won't have to wake you early then."
"I was thinking about your parents and how generous they're being," Harry continued. "When I get a house of my own, I'd like to invite them for a dinner…after I learn how to cook and-"
"Harry, please!" Hermione laughed at the thought of Harry cooking at her own house. "You don't need to do anything of the sort! My parents are more than happy to help out, and you don't need to cook them dinner…you actually might end up burning your house down in the process." Hermione rinsed her toothbrush, set it down, and then turned to look at Harry.
"You're probably right," Harry smiled.
"Have you given any thought to moving into Grimmauld Place?" Hermione asked as Harry leaned closer to her and lightly skimmed his thumb against her lip. Hermione's hand instinctively touched her lip where Harry's finger had just been.
"You had a bit of toothpaste there," Harry explained while looking at her feet. Hermione smiled a bit, and Harry knew he was forgiven for his foreign touch. He only wished he could touch so much more of Hermione without needing a reason. "I think I will," Harry answered Hermione's question. "It's right in the middle of London, and it will be close to you once we graduate…we could commute to work together to the ministry."
"That sounds wonderful," Hermione smiled at the thought of her and Harry commuting to work together after their final year at Hogwarts. She knew he was training to be an auror, and Hermione wanted to go into some sort of research. She had a project in mind that she wanted to start on as soon as she returned to Hogwarts. "I can help you clean and remodel…maybe if we make it more hospitable, the house will feel more like home for you!"
"It's worth a try," Harry admitted. "But not until after our final year…you and I have so much to think about with our N.E.W.T.s coming up."
"What's this? Harry Potter worried about a test? What is this world coming to?" Hermione teased him as she opened the door to her room and motioned for him to follow. She knew her parents wouldn't approve if they knew Harry was in her room, but at the moment she didn't care.
"Hermione Granger is finally rubbing off on me," Harry smiled sheepishly as he sat on her bed. Hermione quickly flicked her wand and she was instantly in her pajamas.
"Well it's about time!" Hermione huffed as she sat on her bed next to him. Harry couldn't take his eyes off her; she looked so pure and fresh. Although he knew the wonders of a warm shower, he wondered how she could look so calm so soon after the war with Voldemort. How could she look so content after such a tragic event. He knew the war changed her; it changed everyone. But somehow, she still seemed like the same Hermione he met in his first year at Hogwarts. "Only took seven years."
"Well," Harry began, "it happened didn't it?" Hermione nodded in agreement. "I'm scared, Hermione." Harry looked into his lap, ashamed at admitting his fears.
"About tomorrow?" Hermione asked as she placed a hand on Harry's leg. "It'll be alright Harry. I'll be with you the whole time. I'm your rock, Harry." He looked up at her, his expression unreadable. "For now at least. Who knows what will happen in the future." Harry wanted to tell her that she was the only rock he wanted, but he thought better of it, knowing that he couldn't make a move on Ron's previous girlfriend. "We'll get through this Harry, I promise."
Later that night, Harry lay in the bed adjacent to one of the windows in the room. The past few days at the Granger house had seemed to solidify his thoughts about his feelings for Hermione. It was simple. Harry realized that he fancied her.
However, he also knew both she and Ron were still recovering from their failed relationship, or what little relationship they had. How could he talk to Hermione about his feelings for her knowing that she wasn't completely over Ron? Harry knew Hermione did not want to be with Ron, but she didn't know exactly where she stood in the idea of the two of them together. He supposed he would wait until he was sure Hermione was over Ron.
Not to mention, he'd also need to somehow speak to Ron about pursuing a relationship with Hermione. After all, she was involved with Ron before him, and the two of them were best mates. Harry wouldn't go behind Ron's back just to be with Hermione, not matter how much he wanted to be with her.
More importantly, Harry knew Ginny was still interested in him, so he would have to set her straight before he even thought about telling Hermione how he felt about her. This would no doubt take a little while to plan as he wanted to let Ginny down as easily as possible. He knew everyone was somewhat out of sorts after all that had happened with Voldemort, the changes to the ministry of magic, and of course what might impact Harry and his friends the most, the changes at Hogwarts, so he wanted to give Ginny a bit of time of get used to the current situation. Perhaps once they arrived at Hogwarts would be a good time to officially separate from her. Ginny had to know this was inevitable as Harry had been inching away from her any chance he got. At least he hoped she knew.
About twelve hours after this conversation, Hermione and Harry were standing at the front door of 4 Privot Drive in Surrey. Hermione glanced to Harry who stood to her right and intertwined her right hand with his left. Harry remained stoic as he kept his eyes focused on the door. "Do you want me to go in first?" Hermione asked as she tightened her grip on Harry's hand. He nodded in response, and Hermione used her wand to unlock and open the door.
She took the first steps inside, thinking it smelled and looked the exact same as when the Order of the Phoenix had come to take Harry to the Borough. She sighed at this memory as she continued further into the house with Harry following right behind her; their hands were still laced together.
Harry paused for a moment as they passed his old room under the staircase, causing Hermione to stop as well. She noticed him looking at the small door and instantly made the connection. "Is this really where they kept you?" Hermione asked, although she already knew the answer. Harry nodded in response. Carefully Hermione opened the door to Harry's old room and turned the dim light on. His old mattress and shelves were still there, because the Dursley's hadn't bothered to take Harry's old things with them when they left.
Hermione scowled at the sight of the room where Harry was forced to live for the first eleven years of his life. Harry tried not to let memories flood back into his head of how Mr. or Mrs. Dursley would lock him in there for hours on end, only letting him out for meals. Hermione then shocked Harry by bending and walking into the small room and sat on the bed; Harry didn't know why exactly, but he followed Hermione and sat on the bed with her. They shifted rather uncomfortably trying to fit the two of them into the closet. Hermione crossed her legs, so that Harry could stretch his out on the bed, and then she rested her head on his shoulder. Harry wasn't shocked by her action and knew she was trying to comfort him. "I just…I just wanted to…I had to know what it was like," Hermione confessed to Harry. "I can't believe they left you in here for hours on end." She said with a horrified look on her face.
"It seems a little more bearable with you here." Harry admitted and smiled as he leaned his head on Hermione's. "It seems like a lifetime ago."
"It was." Hermione said as she wrapped an arm around Harry's chest, giving him a hug. Harry remained silent as he finished taking in the scene of Hermione with him. With Hermione here, all of the bad memories didn't seem so bad anymore. He knew he had feelings for Hermione, but he didn't want to steal Ron's ex-girlfriend or betray him in anyway. He also had no idea if Hermione liked him back; he certainly didn't want to make their relationship awkward and lose her forever.
Harry broke their statue-like state by pulling away from Hermione's embrace and getting out of the closet. Hermione quickly followed him, worried that she had upset him by being in a place very few others had been, a place that was part of Harry's past. Harry walked into the kitchen and toward where the dining room table once was. He remembered the time he sent Uncle Vernon's sister into the sky in his third year at Hogwarts. "I'm sorry Harry!" Hermione said quietly as she walked up behind him. "I didn't mean to upset you by going in your old room…"
"You didn't Hermione," Harry answered truthfully as he turned to face her. She noticed his eyes were watering and knew he was still feeling the pains of the Dursley's abuse and his lack of parents.
"Harry," she smiled sweetly as she closed the distance between them and hugged him tightly; her head fit perfectly in the crook of Harry's neck. Harry smiled at the way her hair tickled his face. "They can't hurt you anymore. No one can really if you think about it. You are the most powerful wizard in the world." And it breaks my heart when you hurt, Hermione thought. She didn't reveal the last past because she didn't want to make Harry any more uncomfortable, and she still wasn't sure exactly what type of feelings she had for the great wizard.
Harry was glad Hermione couldn't see his face, because he knew she would see frustration in his eyes. Oh course things can still hurt me Hermione, Harry thought. He knew she meant physically, but it was still hard for him to hear. You of all people have the power to hurt me most. "I know Hermione," Harry said smoothly. "But anything can happen."
Hermione sighed, pulled away from their embrace, and looked around the room. "It looks the same as the last time we were here," Hermione said blankly as her eyes began to water. The Dursely's old house never had this impact on me before, Hermione thought, why now am I suddenly leaking for Harry's past to have been normal? Had he never had powers, the Dursleys would have at least accepted him more. She laughed at the thought, because she realized that I would never have met him if he wasn't a wizard. "But with more dust." She began to examine all inches of the room, trying to make sense of her feelings to Harry.
"It does; doesn't it." Harry sighed, noting Hermione's tears; he wondered if she was crying for him or for the amount of dust in the room. "It's a wonder Voldemort never came back here to destroy it."
"He knew you would never come back here," Hermione answered. "Maybe he didn't want to waste more time?" She dried her eyes and smiled slightly at Harry. "That's a good thing though; you won't need to buy new books! Speaking of, we should start studying for the N.E.W.T.s as soon as we return to Hogwarts. I've already begun making flashcards; you and Ron are certainly welcome to borrow them!" Harry smiled at Hermione's personality returning; he loved it. And he wouldn't change a thing about her. She almost always had grades on her mind, especially with their careers right around the corner.
"Alright then," Harry sighed, as he walked over toward the fireplace, remembering the time Mr. Weasley has popped into his living room by the Floo Network. "Let's go get my books. They're in my room."
"Are you sure you're ready, Harry?" Hermione asked as she approached the fireplace as well. "This was already a big step coming back to this house…we can sit and have a snack before going up if you want."
"No," Harry paused as he took one last look at the fireplace, recalling the amount of Hogwarts' letters that once poured out of the hole in the wall, Dumbledore trying to get his Hogwarts' letter to him. "Let's get this over with."
Harry led Hermione up the creaky stairs slowly, taking in all of the times over the past years that he had walked them every summer night after making dinner for the Durselys. When they got to Harry's door, they stopped. Harry took a deep breath and reached for the handle, but Hermione snatched his hand before it could make contact with the doorknob. She intertwined their fingers, squeezed his hand reassuringly, and smiled sadly at him. He nodded and reached for the doorknob with his other hand.
Hermione followed Harry into his old room, their hands still together. Harry stopped in the middle of the room, looking at his bed which now seemed so small to him. Hermione was quiet, taking in all there was to see in the room; her eyes stopped on his nightstand. There was a book with the Potter family crest on the front. She released Harry's hand, making him follow her movements with his eyes, walked toward the nightstand, and picked up the book. She opened the cover and began looking at the pictures of James and Lily Potter, and finally she came across a few with Harry in them.
By now, Harry was glancing at the images over her shoulder. "I would have thought you would bring this with you." Hermione murmured as she found the last image with Harry and his parents and an image of Ron, Hermione and Harry together in front of the Hogwarts Express; the rest of the pages were empty.
"I took a copy of it with me…I thought the real one might be safer here. There was nowhere else to keep it safe." Harry admitted with a shrug.
"Well we're taking it now; there is no reason it won't be safe anymore," Hermione smiled as she hugged it to her chest. "This is an important part of you."
"I agree," Harry answered as he walked to his closet and moved a few of Dudley's old shirts to reveal all of his old books. Hermione followed him and touched a few of the old shirts wondering how cruel these people could really be to have made Harry wear clothes that didn't fit him when they clearly had the money to give him appropriate clothing.
"Wow, so you really did keep all of your old books," Hermione smiled at Harry, who was no kneeling down near his books.
"Well of course!" Harry smiled back at her. "You told me to," he said as Hermione kneeled down next to Harry and grabbed the book on top.
"Hogwarts: A History?" Hermione laughed as she read the title. "This was the first wizarding book I ever read; it was my favorite! It still is I guess…"
"I remember," Harry added as he turned his head to face Hermione, realizing they were only a few inches apart. Hermione's eyes fluttered from the book and back to Harry.
"I'm so glad you kept it," Hermione continued as she put the book down next to where she set the Potter photo album. "Let's get the rest of these books in the bag and head out!" Hermione smiled cheerfully.
After putting all of Harry's books in a backpack with an undetectable extension charm, the pair had lunch in the Dursley's kitchen. Harry offered to cook Chicken Tikka Masala – a meal he often made for the Dursley's every Tuesday night.
Harry was certainly a better cook than she thought, and she felt a bit ashamed for her comments about her cooking. She didn't say anything though, and pressed forward, hoping to help him in the kitchen here and there. Harry let her do a few things here and there, but Hermione soon learned to regret the words that she spoke to Harry a few days ago. He told Hermione that she was now a guest in this house and was only allowed to help minimally. Hermione couldn't help but think about how nice it would be to learn how to cook from Harry; she feared that if anyone else taught her, they would get frustrated and refuse to ever help her again. However, she did not bring it up, knowing she had years before having to cook for herself.
Throughout lunch, the two talked about Harry's life with the Dursley's; he told Hermione about all of the 'strange' situations that had happened over the years when he didn't know he was a wizard. She laughed at all of the times he had somehow managed to grow a bread and mustache on Dudley when they were boys; needless to say, Dudley had to take up shaving sooner than most boys. Harry loved hearing Hermione's laugh; it had been scarce in the past months with so many heavy things going on in their lives, especially Voldemort's demise.
Finally, the time had come when they decided to retrace Harry's escape route about one year ago in attempts to find Hedwig or whatever remained of her. Hermione found Harry's broom in her undetectable extended purse and gave it to Harry.
"Harry, maybe we can walk," Hermione said as Harry mounted the broom.
"Hermione, you know it will be faster on a broom; we have kilometers of land to cover."
"I know but," Hermione shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, "I don't-"
"Like flying," Harry finished Hermione's thought. He smiled softly at her, understanding her fear. "Why don't you ride in front of me, and I'll make sure you stay on the broom. I wouldn't let you fall now; would I?"
"I should think not," Hermione smiled at him as she took a step closer toward Harry and his broom. "Promise you won't let go?"
"I promise," Harry nodded. Hermione bit her lip and mounted the broom in front of Harry. She stiffened a bit as Harry wrapped one arm around her midsection, but quickly melted into the embrace. He put the other hand on the broom and leaned into Hermione, trying to make her feel as though she was completely safe.
"Hold on to the broom," Harry instructed Hermione; she quickly did as she was told. Harry glanced down at her hands and smiled at how tightly she was holding the broom; her hands were turning white. "All set?"
"Mmm hmm," Hermione gave Harry a nervous nod. With Hermione's approval, Harry kicked off and all of a sudden, they were in the air. "Harry! You didn't cast an invisibility spell!" Hermione sighed exasperatedly as she let go of the broom with one hand, grabbed her wand, and cast the spell.
"Oh, right, well thank you Hermione," Harry answered. "I have never really had to do that before."
"Of course not," Hermione smiled. "You and Ron just fly around in cars without an invisibility shield; why would flying on a broom be any different?" She laughed at her comment remembering the story of how Harry and Ron arrived at Hogwarts in their second year.
"Hey that was an accident!" Harry defended his actions, but soon joined Hermione in laughter. Hermione couldn't help but enjoy being so close to Harry; she didn't know why it felt so good to be close to Harry, but she didn't really care. She just enjoyed the trip. Harry was somewhat surprised that Hermione didn't scream and thought it could be because they were together, but he wiped that thought out of head quickly remembering she only thought of him as a friend.
After a few more minutes of flying, they had arrived where Harry had seen Hedwig fall when she was murdered. They landed with ease in a desolate area of England. Harry helped Hermione dismount the broom and then got off himself. Hermione removed the invisibility spell and held out her bag, implying for Harry to put the broom in. After they were all settled, they looked around the field, neither saying a word.
"I'll start over here," Harry said as he walked in one direction. Hermione walked in the opposite direction. Both of them began shouting "Accio Hedwig," hoping she would be close enough for the magic to work.
After half an hour of searching, Hermione called out to Harry, "Harry! Come here." Harry ran to where Hermione kneeled next to a bush. "She's here," Hermione said with tears in her eyes. Harry kneeled down next to Hermione and began to weep. Hermione wrapped her arm around Harry, pulling him closer as his tears continued to trickle down.
Hedwig lay in a small shrub, partially degraded. The only reason Harry and Hermione knew it was Hedwig was due to her white feathers which were now fluffy and jagged instead of smooth and crisp.
"Shhh Harry," Hermione whispered quietly, wrapping her other arm around Harry pulling him into a hug. He responded by pressing himself closer to her and resting his head in the crook of her neck; Hermione soon felt her neck become wet with Harry's tears. "It's okay; she's not in pain…she's probably watching us from wherever she is wishing we weren't so upset."
"But I am…" Harry's voice cracked a bit as he continued. "I miss her. She was always with me when I wasn't at Hogwarts. She helped me get through those summers. Hell, she sacrificed her life to save me…she didn't deserve this!"
"I know; I know," Hermione sighed. "Well why don't we keep her around? Let's not burry her yet. I can conjure up a special box for her, and we can keep her with us for a little while at least until we're ready to let her go. I know how much she means to you." Hermione paused as Harry sat up and looked Hermione in the eyes. It killed her to see his eyes bloodshot and red, so she quickly pulled a handkerchief from her purse and gently whipped Harry's tears. "She meant a lot to me too, especially because she saved your life…I don't know what I would…how we would have beaten Voldemort without you."
"I guess we could keep her for a bit; I don't think I'm ready to let her go now," Harry sniffled.
"Here," Hermione said as she moved closer to Hedwig. "I'll place a preserving spell on her, that way she doesn't…um…you know…" Hermione conjured a special box and used her wand to move Hedwig into the box; then she placed the preserving spell on her. She closed the box and handed it to Harry.
"Thanks Hermione," Harry smiled softly at her.
"Come on; let's get out of here. We still have one more place to visit," Hermione said as she and Harry stood up. She put her arm around him his waist and they walked back to the clearing to mount the broom again.
A/N: I know, I'm sorry! I let you guys think they would confess their love to each other, but only Harry admits it to himself! I do think this sets us up nicely for the next chapters! As always I hope you liked it and you review to let me know what you think! Please log in so I can properly thank you!
Love and hearts and happy reading!
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