CHAPTER 5

"I grew up in the district Karanes. I came home one day, and there was a boy standing in the kitchen. Naturally, I was scared to death. I had never seen him before in my life, and he was probably five years older than me. He looked like he was frozen to death, and my mother had been standing over him, putting a blanket around his shoulders.

"I screamed out, and my mother rushed over to calm me. The boy turned around when my mother rushed over, and seemed just as shocked as me. But he was flustered, and looked away." I smiled briefly at the memory, giving a shy glance at Levi. He was focused on the road ahead, but once I stopped talking, his face unclenched.

"Keep going." he said.

"Right... so, I met Ben, my brother."

"Though I'm guessing he's adoptive?"

"Yes. He's adoptive in a sense. His parents had been a part of the garrison, and one day, they left for Wall Maria to fix it up a bit. They asked my parents to take care of him, but he never arrived. They figured that maybe his parents took him with them to Wall Maria, and forgot about him. Then, later in winter, my father found him on the riverbank, half dead. He took him back to our home, and we nursed him back to health. We were confused, and awaited the expected return of his parents for an explanation. But they never came back. Some freak accident got them eaten by titans...

"Anyways, my parents had decided to take him in as their own son. That began our relationship. At first, we were incredibly cold to one another, and not because we hated each other, but more from the uncertainty. I was nervous having a stranger living in the house, and whenever I would cross paths with him, my first instinct would be to pull away, and go find my parents. I had harbored nothing but fear of him." I gazed down at the grass beneath my feet, then back up at the moon.

"Then one day, I got caught up in a mob of people, and fell, twisting my ankle. He had picked me up, and rushed me over to the doctor, then ran back to get my mother and father. When he carried me, I had suddenly realized that he could be trusted. If it weren't for him, I probably would've been there, without doing anything. Yes, I most likely would've been okay, but still..."

I took a deep breath, the freezing cold wind nipping at my cheeks. "Finally, I started to trust him, and we grew on one another. He joined the Survey Corps, and...and..." tears came to my eyes, and they spilled onto my cheeks. "...and..." I choked out.

I turned away, almost embarrassed. But, Ben...and...Carter... "He joined the Survey Corps. A couple years before, and good friend of mine, Carter, had joined the Survey Corps too. He was praised amongst all of us in school, and we were all so impressed. He promised that he would bring me back something from the outside world, and, god...I was so happy. He and my brother participated in an expedition together."

I tightened my grip on the handles of my blades, and looked into the sky. "I can't say anything else yet, Levi."

"Don't worry about that, Petra. Oi, I didn't realize you'd be so emotionally attached. But since you are, you don't have to talk about it. If you keep talking like that, it won't be like you're telling a story, but more like you're just trying to shit."

I chuckled softly under my breath, feeling slight relief. I felt my cheeks growing hotter, despite the howling wind around us. "I didn't realize how kind you were, Levi. You also seemed colder."

"Perhaps to the idiots who criticize us, but not to my comrades. I have respect for all of you, believe it or not. Even the stupid ones." he sneered.

I smiled to myself, and looked at Levi's solemn face, just the slightest bit of amusement playing on his lips.

"Even the stupid ones..." I murmured. "Isn't that a little harsh?"

"I'm displaying my supposed affection towards them, despite their intense stupidity. They should take it as a compliment."

"Levi, I have to ask you a question...but it's kind of stupid..."

"What is it, Petra?"

"Um..." I glanced down at the high grass around our feet, feeling my cheeks growing hotter. Thank god it was dark out, otherwise Levi might've noticed me blushing. "Er...why do you hold your cup that way?" I finally stammered out.

He sighed, exasperated. "Is that really your question, Petra?"

"Um..." I thought about it quickly, almost cringing at my reply, but I couldn't actually say...

"Yes, that's my question."

"Oi, Petra!" he said sternly, his tone of voice embodying the tone that would express someone rolling their eyes.

I smiled. "You're so short tempered." I murmured softly. "And ill mannered at times. Did I also mention that you can be unsupportable?"

"Petra, are you done?"

"Not quite. You're a clean freak, and are not the way most of the people think you are." I said, chuckling to myself. "You are a very short man who can be extremely violent."

"I'm still taller than you."

"But wait. At times, you can be kindhearted, and compassionate. At times you can be understanding, and kind. Yes, you are taller than me, but aside that, you're also a good warrior, height or not. I think that these are one of the those times."

He looked down at me, and through the now fading darkness, I could distinguish his face. I smiled.

We walked in silence, and I could tell that he was thinking over my words. Oh, Levi...

The sun started its slow ascent back into the sky, painting the darkness with light strokes of orange, and pink. The day started to grow more and more pleasurable, and I felt oh so comfortable. If we weren't in Titan Country, I'd be enjoying myself—at least more than I already am.

But the brighter it became, the more titans would be waking up. I shivered at the thought, and hoped desperately that we'd see the wall soon. I didn't know how much gas I had left, and even though I had many blades left, what good would they be without my 3D Maneuvering Gear?

Fear started to set in, and I couldn't help but think about what would happen if the worst were to come? What if we came across an aberrant on flat terrain? I snuck a look over at Levi, who was completely unfazed. If anything, he seemed bored, almost aching for the excitement of battle.

Levi looked over at me. "Don't tell me that you're doubting yourself in a time like this."

"I'm not." I finally replied firmly, exhaling deep breaths. "I'm fine."

"Good. Because I don't want us to stop walking. There's nowhere to rest, so for the time being, we keep walking."

I swallowed hard, then looked back up at Levi. "Of course Heichou, I trust your judgement."

"I'm glad to hear that. We're going to need a lot of trust soon. Are you up for a jog?"

But the exhaustion! I almost cried out. I clenched my fists, and tried to shake myself awake. "Yes Captain."

Then he started off, and I had no choice but to follow him.

The sun continued its rise, but it almost seemed to be speeding up the process, like it's impatiently awaiting our demise.

My gear slapped my thighs repeatedly, following the rhythm of my run. I ran beside Levi, not willing to show any weakness. I had to prove that he made the right choice when he decided to take me under his wing. I have killed titans, and I have made it two nights outside the walls. There's no way that I won't make this last stretch back to the wall. I grit my teeth.

Our breaths had not yet grown heavier, which was a good sign.

It was most likely around seven by now, and we had been jogging for a good amount of time. Levi should no sign of physical deterioration, and I kept my tiredness to myself.

We began passing more trees, a comforting sight, especially since it was daytime. If a titan showed up, our chances of surviving would be much higher.

The silence was maintained for a half hour, and during that time, I was able to think this all through.

Carter had died when being chased by a titan. He'd run inside a building, and the titan destroyed the building, burying him in rubble. They didn't recover a body. There was nothing to burn.

I thought back to my days when I was a mere child, playing, and going to school. Being with my friends, and acting foolish and naïve. Those were good times, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. But I also wouldn't trade my time being a Survey Corps member for anything in the world. Those inside the walls don't realize how free one feels once they pass the gates. Just the feeling of being out of our cage, of finally being let free.

Carter, you did not die in vain. When I think of you, I think of the time you came back to school in your uniform, trying to impress us all. But I saw through you, as did Brigit and Alexander. Brigit was so happy to see you. She hugged you the longest out of all of us. I remember everyone else cooing their oohs and aahs at your crisp uniform, the wings of freedom on the back of your green cape. You told me about how great it was to be in the Survey Corps. Sure it was scary as hell, no wait, it was hell, but you felt as free as ever.

I won't forget you Carter.

I spied a titan out of the corner of my eye. For the moment being, it hadn't noticed us, but I still felt paralyzed with fear. I tapped Levi's shoulder, and he turned towards me. When he saw the titan I could tell that he was pleased by it.

"If it doesn't see us, don't mind it. If it does, we fight it. I'll take it down, and you'll finish the job." he ordered.

I nodded, my gaze set on the titan.

"God, it's really fucking ugly." Levi muttered under his breath. "I'd hate for one of us to be hurt by something that vile."

I smiled at Levi. "But we aren't going to be hurt."

He stared at me for several moments. The wind whipped through my hair, and though his expression was almost unchanged, I could see a vague difference in his eyes. "Yes, Petra."

He turned forward once again, leaving me to my thoughts. My thoughts. I had been able to think back to one thing, but I didn't know if I'd be able to face Ben...Ben...the brother I love so much.

"Levi!" I cried out suddenly. Perhaps it had too much energy in it, because Levi whipped his head towards me.

"Petra." he contemplated me.

"Levi, I...thank you."

"Petra, I promised that I would keep you under my custody until you became more capable. There's no way I would've left you there to die."

"But...thank you. It was...just...thank you. Very much." I stammered out, trying to weave my words together into something.

"Listen, Petra," he brushed my hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear.

I slowed my pace a bit, and he did the same. We both slowed to an eventual stop, and stood in the middle of the wide expanse of grass. He had never removed his hand from my cheek.

I leaned into his hand, and closed my eyes, breathing deeply, trying to catch my breath.

Levi wrapped me into his arms, and I felt his heavy breath on my exposed neck, my hair tucked behind my ear.

"I can't wait to go home."

"Watch Erwin be taking a long shit when we get there. Then we'll definitely have to wait."

I smiled into his shoulder, my forehead covered in sweat. There are still beautiful moments, even in a world like this. Going outside the walls. Family. Friends. Now.

Then Levi pulled away. Very suddenly. I whipped around, and saw the titan making its way towards us. A four-meter class. The four-meter class that had been ignoring us at first.

I held my blades at my side, anticipating its arrival.

"Split up!" Levi shouted to me.

I ran off to the right as Levi split off to the left. I didn't stop running when I approached it. I bolted for the nearest bunch of trees, luring it over to me. Levi went around, giving a wide berth to the titan. I drew it in, and it sprinted towards me.

I shot myself into the trees, spinning in the air, way above its head. It followed me all around, and Levi cut its ankles, making it fall, like a rock. I dove down to its neck, and sliced the nape off in one clean swipe. Blood gushed around me, splattering my blades, but narrowly avoiding me.

I flipped backwards, landing on my feet near the titan.

I panted, engulfed in the hot steam. Levi joined me, and after a quick consultation of the map, we realized that we really weren't that far from the walls. We could make it back to Zhinganshina if we kept going. We should be able to make it back in an hour or two.

This lifted our spirits, and I couldn't help but have this big grin all over my face. Levi gave a small acknowledging smile, and walked away.

"Come on. This is disgusting. I'll be glad to be back, where hopefully it'll be a bit cleaner." I jogged over to him, and we continued jogging back.