Author's Note: Chapter two for you. I hope you enjoy. I didn't really proof-read so any mistakes are my own. Oh and spoiler alert, Rondo will be in this fic. (: hehe. Your feedback helps, guys.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone except my own made up characters in this fic.
Chapter Two
You feel like your heart is trying to break through your breast bone as you and your mother sit in the waiting room. You don't want to be here, you want to be home, surrounded by your science and your books. Logically you know that you need this—that you need some sort of help but the thought of being away from home, away from the safety of the walls of your room where no one can judge you; it's more than a little daunting. The thought of it all makes your breathing accelerate and you start to feel dizzy.
Your mother looks over at you and though her face appears emotionless you can read it in her eyes that she cares and that she is worried. She tentatively places a hand on your arm and speaks quietly. "Breathe, darling. This will be good for you."
"B-But what about—about Bass?" Your voice is weak and scared and it's a lame attempt at getting your mother to forget all about this.
Smiling tightly, Constance pats your arm. "I already told you, Maura; your little pet will be taken care of, I assure you."
Bass is much more than just a 'little pet' to you. He is the only friend you have. He doesn't judge you or tease you and he listens to everything you have to say with rapt attention. At least you think he does because he stares up at you when you speak to him. All the same, you love him.
You feel like everyone is looking at you, judging you. The thought is irrational because when you look up, the few people in the room are paying no attention to you but it still feels that way. It makes you feel sick to your stomach and you wished you hadn't eaten anything for breakfast this morning.
You've known what was wrong with you for a while now, but you never brought it up to your parents. The only reason they caught wind of it was because of the major panic attack you had at school and the councilor suggested you see a doctor. Social Anxiety Disorder. You'd looked it up when the symptoms first made their appearance. You had snuck into your father's study and searched through his books until you found one on Psychological Disorders.
You'd always been shy as a child and distant but you never seemed to grow out of it, in fact it only got worse. You could barely talk on the phone to a stranger without getting dizzy and sweaty palms.
"Maura Isles?" Your name startles you from your thoughts and you look up to see a young nurse holding a clipboard.
The time spent with the doctor was nerve wracking and only served to make you feel sick. You barely spoke much and when you did, your voice shook and you avoided eye contact.
"I think it'll do her some good to stay here with us, Mrs. Isles, she has severe symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder and perhaps some underlying things but with proper treatment, she'll be fine." The doctor says kindly.
Your mother nods. "We packed a bag just in case." She replies and you feel numb. You don't want to be here with all these people.
Nodding, the doctor stands to shake your mother's hand. "I'll have Nurse Kennedy sign her in and show her around the facility." He says with a nod.
Your mother turns to you as the doctor picks up his phone to call for the Nurse. You can feel your eyes brimming with tears but you blink them back and will your heart to calm itself. "You'll be fine, darling." Your mother says as she gently grabs both of your shoulders and moves in to kiss both of your cheeks.
A moment later a beautiful woman appears at the door. Her hair is dark and long and her eyes are bright and friendly. She looks no younger than 35. "Hi, sweetie. My name's Dominique, but you can call me Domi." Her voice is gentle and kind and her pink scrubs seem to swallow her slender frame.
You look back at your mother one more time before you lean down and pick up your bag before moving toward Dominique. She gently places a hand on your shoulder and leads you out of the doctor's office, leaving your mother to discuss your stay with the doctor.
"What's your name, sweet?" Domi asks gently as you both walk down the hall.
You swallow thickly and try to regulate your breathing. "M-Maura." You manage quietly.
Domi smiles brightly, her brown eyes lighting up. "Well it's nice to meet you, Maura. I know this place seems kind of scary but you might meet some nice people and we're only here to help you. If you ever need anything, you can always ask for me. Nurse Kennedy or Dominique." She says sincerely as she brings you to a desk with an older woman behind it.
"We've got another new one, Ida." Domi says as she gently takes your bag from you.
Ida takes the bag and unzips it and starts to search through your clothes. If you had the courage you would have protested, but Domi is already explaining. "We have to check and make sure you don't have anything that could potentially harm you or anyone." She says gently.
Ida folds everything neatly back into your bag the way she found it, save for the large book on Anatomy. She stares at you for a long moment. "I'll let you keep the book, sugar but you keep it in your bag, in your room, alright?" You nod at her, grateful she didn't confiscate your book. "Now, are you wearing any article of clothing with strings, or shoelaces?" She asks, peering over the desk.
You're wearing a simple pair of black yoga pants and a teal shirt with a wide neck and a pair of flats. You look down at yourself as if to make sure before you look up and shake your head.
Ida smiles down at you. "Good. None of your clothes have any draw strings either and all your shoes are flats. I hate taking things." The old lady says as she pushes the bag back toward you and Domi. Domi takes the bag and smiles at Ida.
After showing you your room and setting your things down, Domi continues to show you around and explaining the rules to you. Your last stop is the rec room.
"Right now is free period, so you can either go to your room or come in here and sit to read or draw or watch TV. Good behavior permits computer time." She explains to you as you take in the room. There aren't many people so you decide to take a seat at one of the empty tables.
Domi smiles and rubs your shoulder. "If you have any questions, feel free to ask any of the Nurses here or come and find me. You'll be alright, Maura." She promises with a soft smile.
Before you can even get the courage to say thank you, she's on her way. You're left to your thoughts once again. You glance around the room and sigh. The only good thing about this is that you don't have a roommate. Not yet anyway. The doctor didn't want to overwhelm you and you silently thank him.
A few moments later you notice someone else come into the room. You can't see their face due to the red hoody they're wearing. It seems to swallow them whole but by the looks of it, that's the way they want it.
You look away so as not to get caught staring and look down at your fingers. When you look back up you notice that the person in the hoody is a girl around your age. She's taken off the hood and is now looking at you. She's beautiful but you can see that something in her is broken. Her face is all sharp angles and at the same time soft. Her eyes are dark and sad and you wonder what they've seen.
You watch as she quickly looks back down, her dark curls hiding her face before she pulls the hood back over her head. You don't look away because there is just something about her. She looks back up at you and your eyes meet. You note that her own eyes seem to soften and just for a moment, a small smile curves her lips. You wonder what she's smiling about, if maybe there's something on your face.
Before you have time to panic over the thought, the girl is getting up and sitting next to you. Your heart is nearly in your throat now as she lets out a simple "Hey." It's quiet, but her voice is raspy and it sends a shiver down your spine.
You blink and try to make words. Your brain finally obeys as you stammer quietly back. "H-hello."
She smiles wider at you and introduces herself, holding out her hand. You look down at her hand, willing your own to meet it. It finally does and you shake it hesitantly. "Maura, m-my name is Maura Isles." You reply, your voice shaking.
Jane grins as she says, "Nice to meet you, Maura. Maura Isles."
You feel your cheeks flush and you glance down sadly. You've been here barely an hour and already you're getting teased.
A hand is gently placed on your arm and you look up to see Jane frowning. "Hey, I didn't mean any harm. I was just kidding." She says gently. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything. I'm sorry." She apologizes.
You look back up at her and study her face, looking for the lie but you don't see anything but sincerity. "O-Oh. I-I'm sorry." You stammer, fidgeting with your fingers.
Jane gives you a reassuring smile. "It's okay, you've got nothin' to apologize for—my fault. So did you just get here? I've been here all of two days and I haven't seen you around and I'd certainly remember a face like yours." She leans back in her chair and grins at you.
"A face like mine?" You ask quietly.
Jane seems to lose her cool façade that she'd just put on and flushes slightly. "Uh—Yeah, 'cause you're ya know…" She waves her hands around awkwardly as if grasping for words from the air. "Uh…beautiful, not someone like me, screwed up." Her voice gets quieter at the last part.
You tilt your head slightly. "Screwed up?" You're not sure where your nerves went but somehow you're not as scared as you were before when Jane first sat beside you. "I doubt you're screwed up." You say softly.
Jane looks up and her eyes are dark, her face hard. "I'm as fucked up as they come." She says darkly.
It startles you and you blink in confusion, unsure what to say.
Jane sighs. "Sorry," She apologizes, her face looking sad. Before she can say anything else, there's a Nurse saying that free time is over and it's time for lunch. Jane stands and offers a small smile. "Care to have lunch with me?" She asks, holding out her hand.
You mull it over for a second before taking her hand. "Sure." It's better than sitting alone and you know being around more people is going to make you uncomfortable so you hope that perhaps having Jane sitting next to you will make you feel less out of control; hope maybe she can distract you.