Author's Note:

Hey guys! I haven't given up on this story, so don't give up on me! As I predicted, it's been a busy busy summer. I've had my cousin for several weeks. She's the closest thing I have to a sister, and the summer is the only time I really get to spend time with her, so I haven't had a lot of time to write.

Please be patient with me, and I will keep trying to write as often as I can!

I hope all of you are having a great summer!

Thank you to all you lovely people who do review. I appreciate every single one of them. It lets me know that people still want me to update ^.^

Chapter 9

I was yet again waiting in our suite for Dimitri to get back. I was currently sitting on the loveseat in the living room area, flipping aimlessly through channels on the TV. Nothing I found could keep my attention for long, but maybe that's because I was feeling restless. I've realized in the past several hours that I have been easily agitated lately. Was it a side effect of the bond breaking? Am I still feeling effects of spirit I accumulated before the bond broke? Was I like this before the bond was established and just not realized it?

After running into Irina, one of Dimitri's old flames, we had visited Guardian Headquarters to get supplies for our trip to visit the keepers. A trip that I was not happy to be attending, I might add. Dimitri, it seems, couldn't deny Lissa anything, no matter my distaste. Remembering how the women had begun eyeing Dimitri before we had left the keepers last time, I couldn't let him partake in this quest alone. It did not mean that I actually wanted to go. If I had my way, neither Dimitri nor I would be backpacking with the keepers. Most of the supplies were what one would need for camping. We decided on bringing our own tent, cots, sleeping bags, rations, along with everything else we thought we might need. I had even managed to find a battery powered fan along with a ton of batteries. Dimitri didn't seem pleased by my choice, but hey, if I was going to camp, I was going to camp my way. Most of the supplies were very practical. We also chose to bring rations of sorts. I was afraid if negotiations didn't go well, we would be on our own for food. I didn't really feel like hunting, even though it wouldn't surprise me if Dimitri could hunt and then clean animals as flawlessly as he seemed to do everything else. Was there anything he couldn't do? Well besides perceiving my distaste lately.

I returned to Lissa after we were done at Guardian Headquarters, after making sure the supplies would be taken to the SUV assigned for our journey. She had several errands she wanted to accomplish today before I left on my journey, or as I liked to view it, assignment. Dimitri had sent word, asking if I wanted to have dinner with Irina before we left, in case she was reassigned before we got back. Oh, if only I were so lucky. Knowing I would rather be with him than let him go alone, I agreed. However, Lissa's errands had taken a lot longer than planned. Begrudgingly, I cancelled with Dimitri and Irina, and let them dine alone. I knew Dimitri wouldn't let Irina do anything, but I wanted to keep an eye on her. I didn't trust her at all, not even one bit.

Unfortunately, that led to me waiting in our suite alone, waiting for Dimitri to get back from dinner. He was already later than I planned. Frustrated, I turned off the TV. My thoughts were keeping me too distracted to focus on the programs. What had gone wrong today? First Dimitri had volunteered us for this ridiculous adventure and now I was up late waiting for him to return home from a date with a previous flame. Well, you were invited to go. Stupid responsibilities had kept me from going though. What's more important? Dimitri or Li- I cut myself off from continuing that train of thought. No way was I going to replay that old argument in my head. They are both important to me. I forced myself to think over and over again. I leaned my head back, closing my eyes, reiterating that mantra to myself over and over again.

The next thing I knew, I was being startled awake by the front door closing. I literally jumped off the loveseat, my muscles coiled to defend myself. I had fallen asleep on the couch, waiting for my boyfriend to come home. I heard his voice before I could shake off the grogginess and actually see him.

"Easy, milaya. It's just me." He said softly, his hands out towards me in a comforting gesture. I shook off the fatigue clouding my mind before snapping my gaze to a clock. It was late, really late. I stiffened, my eyes slowly making their way back to Dimitri. The look on my face must have said it all. I was mad, beyond mad. I couldn't believe he had done this. He had stayed out late with another woman. Not just any woman, but a woman I had made blatantly obvious that I didn't like. It would have been a different story if he was a single man, but he wasn't. At this very moment, he was still mine, for now. He read my facial features like a book. His face was full of concern and regret.

"Look, I'm sorr-" He started, but I wouldn't let him finish.

"No." I said, holding up my hands. I suddenly realized I didn't want to hear anything he had to say. Today had been a bad day, and this is how he topped it off. I suddenly didn't care what reasons or excuses he was about to feed me. He should have known better. I thought Dimitri knew me better than I knew myself. Maybe I was wrong? I abruptly turned my back to him, making my way to our bedroom. He followed me, trying to talk to me, but I cut him off every time. I had no interest in listening to him right now. He had fucked up, and I had no intentions of forgiving him at the moment. I didn't want to be near him. I didn't want to see him. I didn't even want to hear him breathe. I walked into our bedroom, grabbing a blanket. I threw it at him without even looking at him.

"You can sleep on the couch." I stated flatly without any emotion. I was done. I had my limit for the day.

"You can't actually make me sleep on the couch." He said, as if I were joking. Again, I had no inclination to want to fight with him. I just wanted to be alone. If I couldn't get that here, I would find somewhere else. If he couldn't give me the space I needed, I would find my own space.

"Fine." I said in an overly casual tone. I was still wearing my guardian attire from earlier in the day, my stake clearly hidden yet easily accessible on my body. It was my only comfort today. I grabbed a jacket and headed out the door without another word. Dimitri tried to follow me, but I had finally done something unexpected for him. We had been doing so well lately, he hadn't anticipated me to leave. He hadn't been prepared. I was able to run out of the building before he could catch up to me. I didn't know where I was running, but it felt cathartic. I could focus on the burning in my lungs for oxygen instead of the things I didn't want to think about. I could focus on how my feet felt when they pounded against the ground, driving my body forwards. I didn't know how long I ran for. It was late in our day, meaning the sun had already risen. It was beating down on me, but it felt good, purifying. It was as if the sun could keep at bay all of the negative thoughts that plagued my mind.

Before I realized where I was, my body had subconsciously taken me to where Dimitri had been interrogated about being a Strigoi near the church. I had been so upset afterwards. Dimitri had pushed me away after I helped him, and it crushed me inside. Part of me wanted to laugh at the similarities I felt. So maybe I wasn't crushed this time, but I still didn't feel right. Where had our synchronicity gone today? What could have gone so wrong?

I hadn't exactly stopped walking when I realized where I was. My feet kept moving. They took me to the church, the one building hosting a religion I still wasn't sure I believed in. Yet, it still felt like a good place. It gave off pure vibes. It felt safe.

I checked the doors. Surprisingly, they were open. I would have thought they would be closed this time of night. St. Vladimir's chapel certainly wouldn't have been accessible throughout the night. Then again, there was no curfew here. Adults could need solace any time. This was supposed to be a safe place, right?

I opened the door a crack, just enough to slip through. A quick visual sweep of the church showed me that there was one person in the building, a guardian. He was on duty here, which surprised me. I didn't realize that they patrolled the church at night. I guess if the priest was asleep, a guardian would be the next best thing to helping make someone feel better, or safe at least. Plus, if Strigoi ever did make it past the wards at court, the church was supposed to be a safe place. Strigoi could not enter holy ground.

The guardian gave me a slight nod, acknowledging my presence. I copied his gesture before shuffling into a pew. I hadn't come here to pray. Hell, I hadn't even come here on purpose. Yet, I still felt like this was a good place to be. I gently laid my head against the pew in front of me. Normal people would have been able to go to their friend's place when they had an argument with their lover. Not me. Lissa would have been an obvious choice. She was too close to where Dimitri was, and would have been the first place he looked. I could have tried to go to Mia's, but I couldn't even comprehend trying to wake her up in the middle of the night. We had become friends, but we weren't that close yet. That left me somewhere in the public domain, since I didn't have many real friends. This church was a better place than I could have hoped for. I didn't even really seek it out.

Once I felt like I really had escaped who I had been running from, Dimitri, I let my defenses drop. I could feel my shoulders physically slump. I was emotional and exhausted. I was suddenly transported back in time in my mind. I was seeing St. Vladimir's church after the Strigoi attack. I had been devastated at the time, advoiding Lissa. I was shocked and wrought with the desire to find out what happened to Dimitri. There had been so much turmoil in my soul. Although this time was very different than that time at St. Vladimir's, I had yet again turned to a church to help me with my feelings. I wasn't sure I believed in God, but this place certainly had a calming effect. If I had been in a different mood, I might have found it funny how I appeared in the church during both times of turmoil.

Now that I felt somewhat safe, I let my mind wander to thoughts I was keeping at bay. I felt like I had been in a rollercoaster as of late. Maybe my entire life was a rollercoaster. Some lows were definitely lower than others, the car crash, watching Mason murdered, Dimitri turning Strigoi, and being framed for the murder of the Vampiric monarch. Then there were the highest of high times, the cabin with Dimitri, my graduation trials, and regaining Dimitri's love. There were just run of the mill times too, but also medium highs and lows. My life was a series of bell curves. Although this might not be the lowest point in my life, I still felt lost. There was a minute voice in the back of my mind telling me that I might be over reacting, but I promptly squished it.

Not only had I had a bad day, I had resorted to one of my old defenses- running. I ran away instead of facing him. I ran away from the only place I could call home at the moment. It was a place Dimitri and I voluntarily shared, but it was ours. Part of me regretted not hearing Dimitri out, but I knew I didn't want to return to attempt it now either. I recognized that I would have to face him, especially since we were supposed to be leaving in the morning. I audibly sighed. Hadn't I matured over the years? Why would I run away again after coming so far in my life? Dimitri must be recounting some of his thoughts about me being childish or too young.

My brows creased as this thought occurred to me. Would he really think that about me now? Was I actually too young for Dimitri? I laid down in the pew, curling up into a ball. It was uncomfortable, but I didn't care. Actually, feeling uncomfortable felt right in its own way. I had thought that Dimitri and I were meant to be together. I knew though that there is no such thing as happy ever after. I realized that relationships took work that extended throughout our lifetimes. It couldn't be one sided. Both sides had to work in order for the relationship to succeed long term. I'm willing to work for it, I decided. Subconsciously, I think it was something I always knew, but there was something concrete about consciously choosing to do it.

After my resolution, I relaxed on the pew. Worrying about tomorrow wouldn't help me tonight. With no other options to retire to for the night, I resigned myself to sleeping on a pew. It wouldn't be the first time. I had fallen asleep in the chapel after Dimitri had been bitten. Maybe time apart would do us some good. I tried to calm my mind so I could eventually drift off. This wouldn't be the weirdest place I had ever fallen asleep. I welcomed the foggy haze that led me to a slumber full of dreams.

~oooOO0OOooo~

I woke up feeling stiff the next morning. I shouldn't have been surprised. I slept on a wooden pew after all. But I could count with ease at least a dozen other places that I had fallen asleep that had been worse than a church pew. What did that say about my life? I shrugged it off, making my way out of the church and back to the palace building.

Luckily, I had woken up around the time I would have if I were sleeping in my own bed. It must have something to do with the natural clock inside my body. This meant that I actually wouldn't be too horribly late. I still had to make it to the palace before I could change clothes and officially get dressed for the day. Luckily, after I got off work from watching Lissa last night I had packed my belongings that I thought I would need for my trip. I wouldn't have to delay our start to our assignment further by not being prepared.

Arriving back in our suite, I realized that Dimitri had already left. I felt disappointed. Part of me wished that I could see him and try to talk a little before an awkward car ride later. Of course, since he wasn't here, talking would have to wait until later. I hurriedly took a shower and got dressed for the day. As much as part of me wanted to skip a shower because of the time crunch, I knew there was a possibility that I might not get a proper shower for a while. I wanted to start off the trip as clean as I could. I blow dried my hair as quickly as possible before throwing it up into a high pony tail. I was itching to find the co-inhabitor to my suite. I grabbed my bags, placing them next to the front door for easy access. I noticed then that Dimitri had also done the same thing. I was relieved. I hoped it meant that he hadn't strayed too far.

I quickly made my way down stairs to the shared kitchen. After assessing the situation, I figured he might be having breakfast with Lissa and Christian as we normally would. At least, I hoped this was true. Walking into the dining room next to the kitchen, I was glad to see that luck was on my side for once. All three were there, and they were in the middle of their breakfast. Dimitri noticed me first. Our eyes locked. I could see and understand so much in his gaze. He had been worried, I realized. He also looked tired. He probably hadn't slept well last night since I hadn't come home. I recognized that he was searching my eyes for clues to my emotions. I knew he was wondering if I was still upset, or angry. His eyes softened further when he realized that I was worried too. I had just been searching for him. Our gazes became knowing. There was a mutual understanding that both of us wanted a conversation later, but we both recognized that now wasn't an appropriate time nor place.

"It's about time you got here, Sleeping Beauty. I was beginning to wonder if you were going to sleep all day in protest of Lissa sending you to the keepers." Mocked Christian. He had noticed my arrival- my late arrival, and couldn't let a chance escape to show his snarky attitude. I understood, however, that his was a sign of affection. He could be brutal if he didn't actually like someone. This form of mockery was just cake in comparison. I scoffed, playing along with him.

"I, Christian, would have the brains to protest in a more successful way. Sleeping as a form of protest is too under the radar for my personality." I quipped back. Everyone in the room knew I could have a flair for the dramatics. It was one of the characteristics of my personality that endeared me to this group. Dimitri chuckled knowingly. The deep sound was music to my ears.

"Is everything prepared?" Asked Lissa, cutting Christian and I off from continuing our jokes.

"Yeah. Our bags are upstairs, but everything else is loaded up in a SUV waiting for us in one of the parking garages." I answered smoothly, glad that no one was aware that I hadn't slept here last night. No one was able to tell the subtle tension between Dimitri and me. It was how I preferred it though. I'd much rather not have my dirty laundry displayed for everyone to see.

"You're leaving right after breakfast, right?" She asked, confirming our plans.

"Yes, your Majesty." Answered Dimitri, being formal once again. Lissa didn't seem to appreciate the reminder. Even though our bond was broken, I knew her well enough to know that she enjoyed feeling normal around her friends. The rest of the vampiric world saw her as their leader and Queen. She had to play that role. To her friends, she wanted to be a normal human being. She wanted to be our friend Lissa instead of Queen Vasilisa Dragomir. Dimitri should have known better. Now that we are in a relationship that people could actually know about, Lissa had regarded him among her group of friends. She trusted him. She hoped he felt the same way. I knew she feared that his loyalty was because of her position, or because she saved him, not because he viewed her as a friend. I made a mental note to talk to Dimitri about it, adding it to the increasingly long list of conversational topics needed to be addressed. Luckily, we would be driving and have time to talk.

Breakfast passed quickly. I had to hurriedly scarf down my food in order to catch up with them. I had been late after all. Lissa lead us to her conference room, giving us another quick debriefing before we were to leave. She had previously asked my advice on who should take our places as guardians while Dimitri and I were away. I had wanted to think about it, but now it was time for an answer. She trusted my judgement wholeheartedly, especially since I had been working with the Royal Guard. I handpicked the best in my class for Lissa and the second best for Christian. Yes, Lissa had an array of guardians, but she often used a near guard and many far guards. This allowed her to have some privacy, yet still keep exceptionally protected. Almost always, I played near guard for her. Now that I would be away, she would need a new near guard, and I had wanted the best for her. Unsurprisingly, I had also chosen him to take over my classes until I returned. Dimitri and I had talked over my options and had agreed on the two guardians that would protect our Moroi.

After finishing our meeting with Lissa, we were dismissed to begin our assignment. We walked in silence to retrieve our bags from our room. It was a comfortable silence, which continued until we had left the palace building. We both wanted to talk to each other, yet we both knew it was a private conversation. One that could wait until no one else could hear. I was just glad that things felt normal between us. I knew without discussing it that we were on the same page. We both wanted to keep working on our relationship. Now I just needed to hear those words come out of his mouth. I was calm and relaxed while we carried our bags to the parking garage.

That was until a petite raven haired figured fell into step beside Dimitri. I tensed. It was subtle, but didn't escape Dimitri's notice.

"There you are! I was hoping I would get a chance to say goodbye before you left!" Came Irina's soft voice. I hated the sound of it. It shot through my ears like warning bells. Maybe that was because I knew she was interested in my man, my Dimitri. "I had a wonderful time last night." She continued, pretending not to notice that Dimitri hadn't responded.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself Irina. Thank you for coming out to see Rose and me off. It was nice of you." Dimitri said courteously, casting me a side long glance. He was checking my mood, not wanting to start the day off on the wrong foot.

"Oh I'm not leaving just yet. I want to walk you to your car!" She said excitedly. She seemed very bouncy this morning. She brushed off the comment about me though. I just rolled my eyes. "Can I carry one of your bags, Dimitri?" She asked excitedly. Laying it on thick, are we? I couldn't help but gag internally. She had it bad.

"No, that's alright. My bags are good." He responded, tightening the grips he held on them. I saw a chance and I took it.

"I could use your help. Here, Irina." I said with forced sweetness, passing her my heaviest bag. I didn't give her time to argue. "Thank you so much. Your help is very appreciated." I said in that same fake sweet voice, emphasizing my sarcastic words. She didn't know me well enough to pick it up though. Dimitri could, but this time he didn't look at me with the same disappointing glance. He wisely decided to stay out of it. Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks after all.

She didn't seem very happy about carrying one of my bags though. I counted it as a tiny win for myself. You got to have a dinner date with my man last night, but now you're basically acting as a butler for me. Score one for Rose Hathaway.

"You're bag is so heavy. What did you do, pack everything you own?" She asked in a whiney tone. It felt like nails on a chalkboard to my ears.

"No, but I am going camping with my insanely hot boyfriend. I figured I should pack a lot of lingerie to wear for him in our tent." I said, lying a little. She didn't need to know that though. Her face paled some, and I'm pretty sure Dimitri was blushing. I did pack some lingerie for him, but that wouldn't be what was making my bag so heavy.

"Shouldn't you pack practical clothing for a camping trip?" She asked, wanting to make me look stupid. Tough luck.

"Oh I did. You needn't worry yourself about my packing skills. I have everything I need for a successful camping experience. I just wanted to be able to spoil Dimitri some while we were off alone in the woods together. Why not bring things he will enjoy? No one is going to be able to hear how loud we are anyways." I said, while leaning towards my Russian god. Yes, he was definitely blushing now.

"Don't you know that Dimitri doesn't like public displays of affection like that? He's a private man. He likes to keep his intimate matters behind doors." She said silkily, thinking she'd finally one upped me.

"I think I know Dimitri well-" I started, but Dimitri interrupted me.

"Ladies." He started, stopping in his tracks. We both stopped and looked at him. I stole a glance at Irina, glaring at her. Her eyes were only for Dimitri, big puppy dog eyes. He looked at both of us before continuing.

"Stop making jabs at one another. Irina, this is my girlfriend, a woman I am crazy about. She knows me plenty well. I don't actually mind it that much anymore. It's actually nice that our relationship is public." He didn't actually criticize me, but maybe that was because we hadn't had our talk yet. He probably still presumed he was on thin ice. "I want you two to get along. Irina has always been a good friend to me, and I would like it if you two could be friendly as well." He continued, looking at me this time.

I muttered something along the lines of Tasha once being a good friend, and Dimitri's look intensified. He wasn't having it today. I nodded, understanding his wishes. Irina looked unabashed.

"Of course I want to be friends with Rose. If she's part of your life, I definitely want to get to know her better." She said, managing to keep a straight face. I looked at her, and then looked back at Dimitri. He knew perfectly well that I suspected she was lying. Dimitri started walking again, and both of us women fell into suit beside him. There was some polite chit chat, but mainly it was Irina talking. Dimitri seemed slightly annoyed by her presence, but only I appeared to pick up on it. I remained silent, already bored of her chatter. There was nothing she said that I wanted to hear. I could tell she was desperate for Dimitri's attention, but he was treating her as he would any other friend. It made me feel better. She wasn't special.

Dimitri kept glancing over at me from the corner of his eye. I had definitely worried him, I realized. He was continually checking up on me, watching my reactions, my moods. I appreciated his attentiveness, especially after last night. I think he was partly unnerved by my silence, hoping I wasn't angry. But no, I just had nothing to say to Irina. She wasn't worth my effort at the moment.

Reaching the parking garage, where our SUV was waiting, it didn't take very long for Dimitri to pack our bags along with everything else that had been packed in the car the day before. I glanced over all the supplies. Everything looked to be in order.

"You guys sure have a lot of things packed for a camping trip. Where are you going?" Asked Irina, maybe a little too curiously.

"It's top secret." I answered maybe a little too gleefully. She didn't have to be nosey and know everything. This wasn't her assignment. "Being the Queen's best friend has its' perks. She trusts me to do secret assignments, and I go where my Queen commands." I continued with a wide smile. I tried to act nice, but I knew she understood the underlying tones. I wasn't threatening her, not yet, but I made it perfectly clear that I had friends in high places. Dimitri said a quick goodbye to her, dodging a hug she seemed to desperately want. He shook her hand instead, mentioning meeting back up if she were still at court when we returned. I had expected such a line, so it hadn't bothered me.

Dimitri and I climbed into the front seats of the SUV. It was black and comfortable. Within moments we were literally leaving Irina behind in the dust. It wouldn't take long for us to get out of the gates guarding the Royal Court, and then we would truly be on our own again. This time we wouldn't be escaping for our lives and living as fugitives. This time we won't have to continually check our surroundings in paranoia of guardians. This time we could leave in comfort, and seek out our destination in peace, although I wish it were a different destination. The keepers is where Lissa had wanted us, so to the keepers we would go.

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