"We're back with Justice News, I'm your anchorman Batman," Batman spoke in his usual gruff manner to the blinking camera.
"And I'm your co-anchor Wonder Woman here to bring you the world's news," Wonder Woman slyly tried to slide her hand over to Batman's who quickly pulled away leaving Wonder Woman's hands stretched towards nothing.
"I'm Superman," Superman called from off camera cutting Wonder Woman off just as she opened her mouth to speak.
"You have to wait for me to introduce you," Wonder Woman yelled back ignoring the fact that the camera was focused on her.
"I was afraid you were just going to try flirting with Batman and ignore me," Superman pouted slightly. It wasn't a crazy assumption, Wonder Woman tended to have a one-track mind when it came to getting what she wanted, usually that was Batman.
"It's not my fault he's hot," Wonder Woman glanced at Batman who seemed less than pleased at how things were starting up.
"Yes I'm extremely attractive that's been established, can we get through a few minutes without you messing something up" Batman cut in sending a glare at both of his associates silencing them, "Let's start with the weather simply because I don't want to hear anymore chatter on my show."
"Technically it's our show," Wonder Woman put heavy emphasis on 'our'.
"No it's really not," Batman looked around her to Superman and continued in a bored tone, "Superman our weatherman extraordinaire please tell us the status of my world."
"Technically it's everyone's world, right?" Superman asked with a bit of confusion at Batman's sudden claim over all of earth.
"No, I own everything, including your jobs so you get to work and Wonder Woman be quiet," Batman spoke in a tone that didn't allow any denial or argument.
Superman mumbled something that sounded like, "yes sir" and Wonder Woman just commented on how hot it was when he was commanding. With a roll of his eyes Batman gestured for the camera to turn to Superman and begin his weather report. Aquaman swung the camera to Superman who was still uncomfortable in front of the camera despite his insistence on being on the show. It wasn't a difficult job, Superman could refer to literally anywhere in the world so there wasn't a lack of choices.
"So it's cold in Russia, you should bundle up," Superman didn't really know how to use the green screen map so he stood without pointing. Technically that wasn't very specific weather, but it was something.
"That doesn't matter it's always cold in Russia, they're already bundled up," Wonder Woman was still annoyed at Superman and wasn't afraid to let him know.
"You don't know Russia, you can't speak for the Russian people," Superman rushed to defend the Russian population.
"Anything else, is there some wet rain anywhere?" Batman asked before Wonder Woman could argue back, he smirked at the embarrassment on Superman's face.
"Yes wet rain is everywhere, but there are also other things happening," Superman trailed off not entirely sure where to go next.
"Such as?" Batman had to coax Superman into doing his job and he found a disturbing amount of humor in Superman's difficulties.
"Well there's um," Superman paused and after a few moments of silence he started whining, "I want to switch jobs, I don't like being a weatherman." Superman's report apparently concluded, he had no idea what he was doing and wasn't a fan of being laughed at.
"You signed a contract saying that I would choose your position and decide what you do," Batman reminded him all traces of amusement gone.
"No, I didn't," Superman sounded more confused than upset.
"Oh, I guess I signed it for you," Batman shrugged, "Regardless I get to make all executive decisions on this program, but do tell what job would you prefer?"
"I rather be an anchor," Superman grumbled, "I don't like the weather."
"Yes, I suppose warning people about natural disasters is beneath you," Batman nodded, "who cares about incoming hurricanes?"
"No, I didn't mean it like that, you should get someone else to do it and let me do another job," Superman flailed.
"Oh, so you're saying I should fire Wonder Woman so you can take her job?" Batman asked in a deceptively mild voice allowing his eyes to fall onto Wonder Woman who immediately stood up.
"Excuse me!" She half screeched, "A third-rate weatherman is not replacing me, you better back off or I will end you."
"Oh dear, a fight is breaking out in the studio what a tragedy," Batman said a slight smirk tugging at his lips as he watched Wonder Woman leap to attack Superman off screen. "I'd dock their pay, but I don't pay them," Batman pulled out a communicator and spoke into it, "Could you come to the studio, my two esteemed colleagues managed to get into a fight."
"Sure," a voice said from Batman's side, "I'll step in."
Wonder Woman was too busy attacking Superman for threatening to take her position to notice the Flash was currently occupying her seat next to Batman. "So what're we doing Bats?"
"First I'm getting security to take those two out," Batman said before yelling, "Security, remove those two from the premises."
Captain Marvel and Green Lantern stormed in to grab the irate Wonder Woman and Superman whose own temper had finally been flared. "Batman likes me better anyway we're friends," he yelled at Wonder Woman who threw a chair at him in retaliation which he easily blocked.
"You're just a fanboy, Batman wants me," Wonder Woman punched him across the room.
"Sure that's why he's constantly trying to get away from you," Superman shot lasers from his arms which were reflected off Wonder Woman's bracelets. They ended up tearing through the room.
"Security, go," Batman repeated trying to get semblance of control. He was starting to realize that provoking the two powerhouses wasn't his greatest plan. Now he was watching a four way battle as his set was torn to pieces.
Flash seemed to think it was cool rather than actually worrying, "People love fighting, you're going to get such high ratings, Bats."
"Enough!" He yelled, "I am Batman and you will all obey me."
The rarity of him actually yelling gave everyone in the room pause. His voice dropped dangerously, "Clean up and if I hear a word from anyone I will destroy you, got it?" His question was met with a few mute nods. "And For God's sake Aquaman turn off the camera," with a flourish of his cape he stormed out of the room leaving silence in his wake.
"Thanks for watching we'll see you tomorrow," Superman awkwardly waved before the camera finally shut off.
A/N
Chapter 2 is complete.
So the league really hasn't gotten their act together yet and now there's already infighting to the point where even Batman stopped enjoying it. Though that's probably just because it wasn't helping him or providing harmless, for him, entertainment. Plus we get to see Superman with a bit of backbone which he rarely has in this universe.
Thanks for reading and please let me know what you thought.