Present Day
Donatello stirred from the warmth of his cocoon on the couch. He'd dozed off as soon as he was tucked in, surrounded by the scent of his family. He opened his eyes to see the lights were dimmed in the lair. Had he slept the whole day away? His body still felt heavy and tired despite the additional rest and he wished he could stay there until the next morning.
Breathing in deeply to try dissipate the cobwebs in his head he stopped when he felt a puff of air against his skin. He turned his head and found it pressed against a warm forest green cheek.
"Shhh." Raph whispered against him. "Go back to sleep."
"Raph?" Donatello responded, his head clearing as he noticed the position he was in. He had definitely not fallen asleep cradled against him, in his lap, so when had this happened?
Donatello opened his mouth to say something but it turned into a gasp when Raph turned his head into Don's neck and pressed a long, lazy kiss into him.
"Raph, what?" Don asked again through his confusion.
"Let me take care of you." Raph replied, his lips tickling Don's skin and making him shiver.
"Relax." He ordered as rough hands stroked down Don's shoulders, fingers pressing into his aching muscles as they advanced.
Donatello sighed and leaned back, as much as his carapace allowed, into the solid warmth that was Raphael as his brother slowly loosened his sore muscles, working his arms all the way down to his wrists where he spent a while circling and rubbing. Once he seemed satisfied with that, his arms snaked under Donatello's to lay flat against the top of his plastron before sliding down too. He shuddered at the feeling of Raph dragging his hands over the grooves, tensing when they slid over to his softer, exposed sides.
With increasing dread he lifted his arms to push himself away but realised, with horror, that he couldn't, his arms were tethered at the wrists. "Raph! Wait!" He exclaimed, tugging on the straps that held his arms down.
"Shhh… It's okay." Raph nuzzled into his neck as Don's body jerked against him. "It's fine, Donnie, it's fine." He repeated as his hands pressed against him, digging into the softer parts of his flesh and pushing against the eggs.
Donatello turned his face away and whimpered, shuddering at the feeling of the eggs sliding and moving against each other within him. He hated that feeling. He waited for the moment when Raph noticed it and realised something was wrong with him, that those lumps shouldn't be there, but it never came.
"It's okay, Donnie, I told you. I'll take care of you." Raphael repeated again as his hands stopped probing his sides and drifted down to his hips.
Turning back to Raph he tried to get a look at his expression but he was too close to see his eyes, could only get a good view of his chin and a soft smile curling his lips before that smile was pushed against his brow, right between his eyes on his mask and then further down to press another soft kiss on his snout. A hand curled under his chin, lifting his face so the smile could wander lower to cover his own mouth, joining with a sigh from Don.
It wasn't so much that he'd wanted to kiss his brother or wondered what it would be like but more about the relief that coursed through him at feeling the acceptance from him, the love his brother was offering him with his affections. The kiss ended quickly, not much more than a soft press of lips together, chaste and brief.
"I told you it was okay, Donnie." Raph told him again with a smile that Don heard more than saw, his eyes still closed as Raph's hands kept exploring over his hips and stroking down his legs.
"Since when did you know?" Don asked though his mind was drifting again.
"Since always." Raph answered after a deep, thoughtful hum spreading his own legs that were framing Don's as he sat between them, making space to gently pull Don's knees apart, hands kneading the inside of Don's soft thighs.
Donatello let out a whimper when Raph's fingers curled into him, caressing his tail but Raphael shushed and nuzzled that sound away and it turned into a soft, needy moan as sure fingers stroked him, slippery with Don's fluids emanating from his thickening tail. As soon as the head of his penis emerged, Raphael was tugging on it gently, coaxing it out and then stroking him in long, steady movements.
Donatello was writhing against Raphael, whimpering and moaning uncertainly as his body reacted to what Raphael was doing but uneasy at the helplessness of being tied down, unable to stop it even if he wanted to, unsure he actually wanted this. He grit his teeth to try muffle the sounds he was making, frightened someone else might hear him and come to see what was going on, surprised it hadn't happened already. They were in the middle of the open living room and every small sound seemed to echo around them, the wet sounds of Raph's hand sliding over his clock obscenely loud in his ears. The pressure around his member was steadily increasing as his brother held him more firmly and sped up, to the point where it felt a little painful before Raphael stilled.
Raphael's firm squeeze made Don shake and he barely registered Raph's other hand lifting his knee to hook Don's leg over his own to have him spread wider. Don tugged at the straps binding his wrists again now that the building pleasure had been cut short, feeling more uncomfortable and exposed with every moment that passed.
"I'll take care of you, Don." Raph said lowly and this time the tone of voice started to frighten Donatello. Gone was the warm whispers and gentle hands, Raph's voice was cold and his grip painful on him as he began to pull.
"Stop!" Donatello screamed as he realised Raphael wasn't going to and with a sickening squelch and surprisingly little pain his brother pulled his member cleanly out of him and let it fall through his fingers to the floor with a wet thud.
The sound ripped him out of his disbelieving haze and Don started thrashing against the binds and Raphael's grip, fighting to be released as he watched Raph's blood-slickened hands return to his body painting his thighs with red stripes.
"You don't need that anymore, Don." Raph's cold, serious voice told him.
"Why are you doing this?!" Donatello wailed. He could barely move even though he was trying with all his strength, Raphael might as well have been made of concrete and the leather straps iron shackles.
"I know what you are, Don." He continued as his fingers reached for his tail, pulling it away from his body and spreading his slit open. "You don't need that any more, this is the only thing that matters, it's what you were made for, Don." Raphael's fingers dipped into him, into the blood like a brush in a pot of paint and then drew lines up his sides to rest against the eggs that pushed against his skin.
"No!" Donatello screamed and finally jerked forward, free of his bindings and tumbled onto the floor in a heap of blankets, panting on his hands and knees as he looked around the well-lit lair wildly, then back over his shoulder to an empty couch.
He pulled the blankets off himself and looked down to clean, bloodless thighs, patting his body for anything amiss. Finding nothing except the usual sore muscles he was used to, he leaned back against the foot of the couch with his face in his hands and tried to squash the panic that was still coursing through him.
"Don?" Leonardo asked from somewhere on his left and he quickly turned in his direction. "Is everything alright?"
"I…" He began to say, still a little disoriented and out of breath, pulling his hands away from his body when he noticed Leonardo following them with an odd look.
"Does anything hurt?" Leonardo asked him, suddenly too close, putting a cool hand on his shoulder as he bent down on one knee beside him and the other hand reaching for Don's abdomen.
Donatello jerked away from his touch, scrambling to his feet and turning to hide from his brother's scrutiny as he fiddled with the blanket, taking too much care in folding it. "No, no, just a bad dream."
He finished folding the blanket and turned to leave, ignoring the silence that hung between them and the way Leonardo pressed his lips into a thin line, hoping to be able to escape into the lab and away from his searching gaze. He couldn't afford Leonardo to become suspicious or worried about his health. He hadn't been doing much of a good job in that department especially after his performance in training that morning. He'd been so worried about his weight gain and appearing to be physically normal that he'd put himself in a position where his body hadn't been able to take the strain.
Stepping into his lab he sighed and closed the door behind him. He'd have to do something about that, he thought as he rummaged through the medical supplies on the side of his lab set up as an infirmary. The truth was his body needed the extra nutrients even though he had a tendency in this state to put on a bit of fat and retain liquids giving his arms and legs a softer, rounder curve that Leonardo was noticing. It was preferable that he be told off for the extra weight than alarming his brothers if he fainted again, though.
Donatello removed some tubing and a needle from the cabinet along with a vial and a band to wrap around his arm. Taking a blood sample was easier when he asked one of his brothers for help but that usually meant Leonardo and he couldn't really have him asking questions. Just as he was finishing the thought, the door to is lab opened and said brother stepped inside.
He could have knocked, Donatello thought, annoyed that he'd been caught by the last person who he wanted to see. He sidestepped to keep his body between Leonardo and the items he had retrieved to avoid questions but Leonardo walked right up to him to see what he was doing.
"I thought you said you were fine." Leonardo stated as he looked at the items Donatello had attempted to hide.
Donatello sighed a little harder than he'd meant to, showing his frustration and making Leonardo frown, the lines of worry on his brow deepening. "I meant just now." He decided to give part of the truth, after being caught. "I was going to run a few blood tests after this morning."
"What do you think it is? Do you have any theories?" Leonardo crossed his arm over his chest, the fingers of his other hand touching his chin as he slipped into "leader mode" just like when he asked Donatello for options during a mission.
"I have a few, but we'll see." It was probably anemia, maybe folic acid deficiency too but he kept his thoughts to himself. The last thing he needed was Leonardo watching his every move.
Their diet wasn't as varied or as healthy as he really needed it to be in his state but they didn't have many options in that regard. They were usually fine with whatever scraps they could scavenge and April occasionally getting them some groceries. They didn't really have income for that to become their everyday food supply though and they couldn't ask April to feed their whole family. Ideally, he should be taking iron supplements and prenatal vitamins but that wasn't something he could ask April to get for him without raising suspicions, meaning they'd have to hit a pharmacy with the risk that one of his brothers noticed what it was he was taking.
Maybe he could get away with a transfusion. His eyes automatically darted over to the refrigerated cabinet where he stored their blood bags in case of injury. It was a quick-fix he could do in a few hours at night but their blood reserves weren't great. Donatello reached for the rubber band but Leonardo pulled it from his fingers and tied it around his arm. He'd almost forgotten he was there and hadn't noticed he'd put on the latex gloves, two fingers empty and hanging uselessly.
"How much do you need?" Leonardo asked quietly as he retrieved the rubbing alcohol and cotton to clean the area of skin before reaching for the needle.
"A vial." Donatello answered just as softly, sitting down on the infirmary bed as Leonardo felt for a vein, his other hand drawing soothing circles on his arm.
Donatello had shown all of his brothers first aid and how to assist him with these procedures even if none of them liked it. Leonardo was the one who ended up helping him more often than not except when he was the one being tended to. He probably saw it as his duty as the oldest but he still hesitated before inserting the needle, caressed his skin gently stalling for time as a way of counteracting the hurt he was going to inflict even though for Donatello it was unnecessary, he didn't mind the needles much.
Leonardo's hand stilled and he hissed slightly in empathy when he pricked Donatello but the soothing movement was back once the vial was being filled, his eyes glued to the red liquid as Donatello watched him. It was something so simple and small but in moments like these when he felt he was being cared for with such tenderness, when he felt so close to his brother he felt like telling him everything.
He didn't though.
Donatello knew his brothers cared for him, knew it probably wouldn't change much even if he told them his secret but it was everything else he was worried about. If Leonardo was already hard on him for putting on a little weight (which he'd check next once his brother was out of the lab) he couldn't even imagine how he'd act if he knew the extent of his condition. Well, he could imagine it, rather vividly, and those thoughts stayed his tongue.
It was definitely anemia. He muttered to himself as he emerged from the lab later on for dinner.
Donatello ignored the surprised look Michelangelo gave him when he took the plates he was carrying to help set the table. They were used to having to drag him away from the lab in the evenings, arriving to a covered plate of cold dinner sitting on the kitchen counter for him.
During this season and while he carried eggs, Donatello made more a point to eat regularly even though he would still wait out his family feigning work. He was more hungry and was a bit self conscious of being watched when he ate, wondering if he was eating too much or too fast or if they would say something about the flavour combinations he was craving.
That was before he found out Leonardo thought he was binge eating in private, instead of sneaking slices of banana dipped in mayonnaise, something he wouldn't touch with a bo-staff at any other time of the year. He was eating a little more, but it was most definitely not binging.
Raphael walked into the kitchen next, towel over his shoulders, drying a light sheen of sweat from his workout. He stopped mid-step when he caught sight of Donatello, his mouth even hanging open for a second and Don turned around to Michelangelo to ask if he needed any help and look over his shoulder at what he was cooking to avoid Raph's look.
Michelangelo was stirring a pot of chili con carne which was more like chili con "stuff from the fridge that was going to go off" but Donatello's mouth was watering anyway. He'd had a quick sandwich for lunch in his lab as he ran the tests in private and his stomach was growling at him to be fed. He hoped no one else could hear it over the sound of the fan over the stove and the sound of glasses and cutlery being placed on the table.
"Hungry?" Mikey asked him over his shoulder with a pleased smile.
No such luck. Donatello fought the heat in his cheeks and stepped back from his brother, noticing how eager he looked, almost as much as he felt, and nodded. Raph stepped up to Michelangelo's other side to peer into the pot and Don noticed Mikey scrunch up his face in disgust.
"What's that supposed to be?" Raphael asked nodding to what Mikey was stirring but lifting the lid off a second pot to peer in at what looked like plain white rice.
"Dude!" Mikey complained instead of answering his question, waving a hand in front of his face. "Have you heard of a shower? You could at least step under the water a little."
Raphael caught Don's look and he gave him a wink. "Yeah, I could… if I wanted to." He replied.
With the table set Donatello sat down in his usual spot but on his left Raph hung his towel on the back of the chair and sat down, where Leonardo usually sat. Donatello gave him a questioning look but Raph just half shrugged and smiled.
"Someone want to go tell Don to- Oh." Leonardo stopped short when he caught sight of Don already seated at the table before his eyes focused on Raph sitting smugly. "That's my-"
"I don't see your name on it." Raph interrupted.
Instead of sitting in Raphael's spot, in front of his own and right where he was standing, Donatello was surprised to see him walk all the way around him and sit down in Mikey's, on his right with a frustrated sigh.
"Is this a game I'm not understanding?" Donatello asked though he was pretty sure it had something to do with the whole scent thing Raph had told him about. If he was completely honest, he didn't mind Raph's spicy scent at all so he didn't mention their seating arrangements.
"Oh come on!" Mikey whined when he arrived with the pot of food, the placemat tucked under his arm. "That was my spot!"
Raphael only crossed his arms, daring Leonardo to say something to him when he'd blatantly done the same.
"Come on, get up! Leo!" Mikey insisted, trying to nudge him out of the way.
"Just sit anywhere else." Leonardo answered but after being nudged again and seeing the pot dangerously close to tipping over onto the floor, Leonardo gave in, moving over to where Raphael usually sat across from Don.
"Should I play some music and then stop at a random moment?" Donatello asked after the exchange, messing with them a bit at their childish behaviour. "I would think we're a little old for musical chairs but to each their own."
Michelangelo didn't even bother to hide the way he stuck his tongue out at Leonardo when he got his way even if he was in plain sight of Master Splinter who'd just stepped in the kitchen. "Donatello, I am pleased you are joining us for dinner today."
It was Donatello's turn to feel a little embarrassed at being singled out but he just smiled back as they began to serve the food and eat. Thankfully, no one made any mention of Donatello's performance earlier and they didn't even seem to be watching him very closely at all. He relaxed after a while, listening in on the easy conversation Mikey was monopolising about his latest video game achievements and the plot twists in his latest comic.
Done with his portion Donatello reached for a second helping of chili, missing the way Splinter frowned as he watched him. He was still quite hungry and figured the beans and meat had high iron content and he could use a little more of that. He'd probably have to figure out how to get the iron supplements, maybe if he talked to Leonardo about the anemia it would be fine but the prenatal vitamins were off the table. Perhaps he could-
"Are you sure you want to eat that?" Leonardo's voice, though level and quiet cut through the conversation at the table and everyone turned to Donatello who had frozen with the spoon partially lifted from the pot. "Maybe, you've already had enough."
Donatello lifted his eyes back to his family, momentarily stunned into silence at the unexpected remark before turning back to what he was doing. He slowly lowered the spoon back into the pot as he bit the inside of his cheek and sat back with his hands palms down on his soft thighs in front of his empty plate as they all watched.
Leonardo was probably right, he shouldn't have gone for the extra food, at least not in front of the others. He shouldn't have been so careless. Next time he'd wait and then maybe later on in the night go back for more. The tense silence continued though and Donatello didn't dare lift his gaze to the others to see their disapproval.
"Jeez, Leo, don't be a jerk!" Michelangelo said suddenly, diverting everyone's attention from Donatello.
"Michelangelo, your brother is merely worried about Donatello's form." Splinter chastised as Mikey put his glass down against the table with a little more force than necessary, spilling a bit of soda onto the table.
"Donnie is fine, the turtle has good taste." Michelangelo continued stubbornly as he got up and leaned over the table to angrily scoop up some chili and fill Donatello's plate again. "How many times does a turtle have to faint to get some food around here?" He continued, serving a small mountain of rice on top of the extra chili before sitting back down heavily in his chair. "No wonder he doesn't make an effort to eat with us if you're going to be mean to him when he does."
Donatello stared at the pile of food on his plate he probably wasn't going to eat now despite Michelangelo's efforts and gave his brother sitting beside him a small smile that quickly fell from his face as the others continued to sit in silence.
"You're exaggerating. There's nothing wrong with him. Just leave the turtle alone, it's not like he's stuffing his face with cakes, a little meat and beans won't do him no harm." Raphael added after a moment, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed in front of him. "Right, Brainiac?"
"Any harm." Donatello mumbled without meaning to, not being able to help himself before correcting.
"Huh?" Raphael looked back at Donatello confused, his arms falling from where they were crossed.
"You mean: it won't do me ANY harm." He said more clearly. "If it won't do me NO harm that is a double negative so it means it will do me harm."
Raphael sputtered as Michelangelo laughed at him, cutting some of the tension in the room. "You know what I meant!"
"Yeah." Donatello smiled at him. "Thanks, but I'm done." He said as he got up, taking his glass and plate to the sink. "I've got some things I need to get back to at the lab anyway so if you'll excuse me..."
Donatello made a quick exit, hoping he could avoid speaking about his eating habits any longer but Leonardo got up as he was leaving and followed him, intercepting him just before he could reach the safety of his lab.
"Don! Wait!" Leonardo held Donatello by the arm to keep him from walking away.
"It's fine, Leo, I'm just busy." Donatello interrupted as he shrugged off Leo's hand.
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off that way. It's just that I've been really worried about you lately and, well, the others have been too but they won't tell you these things so I thought I should…" Leonardo's explanation trailed off when he noticed Donatello wasn't even looking in his direction, his head still turned towards the lab.
When Donatello did turn to look at Leo it was with cold, serious eyes. "I understand. It's fine." He repeated before stepping away and closing the door behind him, the 'do not disturb, experiment in process' light going on immediately after.
He'd have to be more careful, he decided once he was alone in his lab, going over the test results as he chewed on an energy bar. Somehow, this year he'd managed to alarm his whole family and become the centre of attention at the worst possible moment. He couldn't afford another slip and he had to get Leonardo off his tail all the time or it would spell disaster.
"It's going to be a tough season." He said to himself with a long sigh as he looked up pharmacies they could hit to get some of the supplements he needed.