Homura Reacts to Matchmaking, Part 1!

A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Homura Reacts Redux! Man, this week's been crazy. Three updates of the three other Reactsverse fics after weeks of me being killed to death by everything going on in college and stuff, my creativity and passion really taking hits as a result of all the stress, but I slogged through that and pulled myself mostly together. Mostly. Anyway, let's get on with the show, hm?

DISCLAIMER: Puella Magi Madoka Magica belongs to Studio SHAFT, otherwise we would have official 4komas of Yuki Yuna x Puella Magi (I love both, sue me).

All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.

"This is ridiculous," Homura muttered as Sayaka and Madoka stood on either side of her, among a gathering gaggle of girls. "Absolutely ridiculous. Why are we watching this?"

"Oh come on, Homura, isn't this cute?" Sayaka nudged her with an elbow. "Have you watched a romcom before?"

"What is a romcom?" Homura asked sincerely. The blunette didn't even look surprised.

"…..I'd ask how you haven't watched a romcom, but I figured all the stalking would've taken up all your time," Sayaka remarked, sighing.

Madoka almost screamed joyously. "It's so cuuuuute! It's just like one of those cute love stories!"

The three girls were watching one of their classmates, a shy-looking blonde girl wearing glasses, blushing and trembling in front of a tall, moody-looking boy with dark hair, whose cheeks were red after the small girl whispered something, turning away with a surprised squeak. The girls around the three squealed joyously. Homura seemed more irritated than enthused by the whole farce.

"Is this what you do in school?" The black-haired girl inquired disdainfully. "Just watch other people's love lives?"
"Oh, come on, school's boring," Sayaka pointed out, shrugging. "This is, like, one of the only things that's really all that interesting around here."

Madoka frowned at her friends. "Oh come on, it isn't that boring you two! It's a good thing! Besides, Miss Saotome's a great teacher!"

"A teacher who talks about her boyfriends all the time isn't a great teacher."
"That's a little mean. She teaches us, right?"
"I don't think I needed to know her that her current boyfriend hates scrambled eggs and wants sunny side-up eggs!" The blue-haired girl snapped irritably. Madoka frowned.

"They're funny stories, though, right?"

"Wow…..you really can make the best of things, can't you, Madoka?" Sayaka sounded more resigned than exasperated, shaking her head at her friend. "Oh, Madoka, never grow up."

Homura shook her head. "I still don't understand why anyone would take such interest in something like this. Perhaps I'm just oblivious to what normal people like."

"Sheesh," Sayaka sighed. "Mami was right. You need a life."

"I refuse to take advice from a girl who lives in a house with Kyubey and does nothing but ride bikes around all day."

"I wasn't the one who tried to smokebomb the school to protect Madoka."
"Anything for Madoka, Miki. She needed to be protected."

Madoka chuckled nervously, placing her hands between both girls. "Heheheh…..can we not fight, you two? You're both my friends, if it helps."

"As you wish," Homura replied, immediately docile at Madoka's command, taking Sayaka aback and causing her to step back and blink, surprised.

'Good god, she's like a puppy!', the blunette thought, amazed. 'If only Kyoko was so obedient, maybe I'd have a clean bathroom floor for once. And maybe a clean kitchen.'

"It's kinda cute, how tons of people have been getting together lately," Madoka commented. "It's not even Valentine's Day yet."

"It's the whole thing with people not seeing each other for months over the holidays," Sayaka suggested. "People have all that courage from wanting to start fresh with the new year and all. It'll fade pretty soon."

"I see," Homura nodded slowly, taking note. "Alright. How long do you give it?"

"I'd say, a month or two?" the blue-haired girl estimated. "Anyway, I'd get a move on. Maybe someone might make a move on Madoka here."

"A-ah?" Madoka stared at her, embarrassedly chuckling. "I-I don't think so. Besides, nobody really like me that much, right?"

Sayaka rolled her eyes. "Please. People love the twintails. And the pink-haired sweetheart thing. You're like catnip for boys! And girls."

At this, Homura finally took notice. "…..what did you say?"

"I said Madoka's popular with people around here," Sayaka repeated wistfully, siling at her pink-haired friend. "People love the pink-haired cutie look. Maybe someone might snap her up like a heron and a fish."
"I-I'm not that cute!" Madoka protested, pouting; it took Homura all of her willpower not to administer hugs to her and thus do something that might make her look foolish.

Sayaka simply crossed her arms smugly. "I rest my case."

Homura, meanwhile, looked away, thinking carefully about Sayaka's remarks. Madoka tapped her friend on the shoulder.
"Homura, are you okay?"

"…..I'm just fine, Madoka. Perfectly fine," the black-haired girl thought with a visible twitch in her right eyelid. "Perfectly fine."

'Someone else, take Madoka for themselves? ….this must be remedied.'

Later…..

"…..and that is why we cannot allow Madoka to date anyone!" Homura declared, standing in front of Mami and Sayaka in Mami's apartment, with the older girl having a plate of cheesecake in her lap.

"…..how does protecting Madoka equal making sure nobody can date her?" Mami inquired, spooning a bit of cake into her mouth with an ornate ceramic spoon. "I must be missing something essential."
"WHY AM I EVEN HERE?!" Sayaka snapped. "I don't even want anything to do with your pervert scheme!"

Homura looked at Sayaka as if she'd said something entirely stupid. "You're interested in protecting Madoka, aren't you?"
"Well, yes, but…." The blue-haired girl breathed in deeply. "I'm not about to be the creepy dad who never lets their daughter date anyone. Madoka's old enough to choose who she wants to go out with, and anyway, you're not her mom, what makes you think you can tell her who she can date?"

"I won't," Homura calmly replied, reaching for her Beretta from behind her shield. "I'll just make sure nobody will get close enough to-"

Mami tut-tutted, wagging her finger. "Ara ara, Homura. We talked about this."
"You talked about this?!" Sayaka stared at her friend in confusion. "When? Why? Why didn't you tell me?"

"We discussed this when Miss Kaname decided to take Homura in when her parents never showed up to take her out of the hospital," Mami explained calmly, taking a sip of tea from a shiny ornate cup. "She promised that she wouldn't hurt anyone who got near Madoka. That's why she only used smokebombs."
"Only?!" Sayaka repeated, almost dumbfounded. "Only smokebombs?! Is this some sort of joke?! Am I supposed to be relieved that she only threw smokebombs?"

"It's a learning process," Mami replied. Homura sighed, putting the pistol away.

"Alright, fine. I won't get rid of anyone. But what am I supposed to do?"

"I suppose now would not be a convenient time to mention I have a love letter addressed to Madoka," the blonde-haired girl remarked coyly. At that, Homura's head immediately turned towards Mami.

"…..what did you just say?"

"I said, someone's been writing love letters to Madoka," Mami repeated, waving an envelope in front of her. The time traveller snatched it from her hand, opening it and skimming the hated letter. It was relatively normal, a shy confession of love from some unknown unfortunate. For Homura, of course, this was an affront to the very fibre of her being.

After all, nobody should have the right to talk so lovingly to Madoka. On second thought, maybe Madoka's mother, given sufficient checks to ensure no such dark intentions and on pain of being evicted from Madoka's house, but nobody else was allowed.

"…to insult someone as pure as Madoka like this," Homura muttered, scrunching the letter up with her curled fists. "…..they deserve death. Let's search for the sender and tort-"

Mami raised an eyebrow. "Homura. Remember what we talked about?"

Homura looked away, clearing her throat awkwardly and looking away.

"…carry out an investigation. Yes. That's what I meant. Do you know who sent it?"

Mami shrugged. "I have a feeling it was that Hinata boy. Or maybe Emiya. Or even Nakazawa, the poor boy. Who knows?"

Sayaka looked amazed and irritated. "D-did you just say you wanted to torture the guy?! And how did you even do that, Mami? Quit taunting her!"

The blonde girl winked coyly. "I have my ways, dear. Now, as I said, if you want to do something about this, you're going to have to do it in a way that doesn't involve shooting people. Or torturing them."

Homura grumbled, acquiescing to her command. "Fine, Tomoe. Your way. What do you suggest?"

"Well, if I were so inclined as to ensure I had no romantic rivals," Mami tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Not that I'm assuming you are, of course, because why would you of all people want anything such as that to happen to our dear Madoka, I'd be a bit more subtle about it."

Sayaka stared even more desperately at Mami, as if to say "Don't enable her!", but she was stunned into silence by Mami's preposterous suggestions.

"Subtle? How so?" Homura inquired closer, but Mami wagged her finger.

"Ara, ara, Homura, is it not obvious?" The blonde replied. "Why, clearly, you must treat this with the delicacy love deserves, of course."

"…..I don't take your meaning."

"I didn't expect you to," Mami sighed, shrugging. "Ah, well, Homura. If the heart wants, the heart wants. What is to stop you from stopping someone who loves our Madoka, hm?"

Homura huffed, grumbling for a few moments, before seeming to realise something. She turned towards the door, strolling out, but not before leaving the two with a final comment. "You two were no help. Fine. Then I will seek assistance with Madoka elsewhere."

"Thank god," Sayaka sighed exasperatedly. "Can I go now- actually, scratch that. Mami, can you come with me for a moment?"

"Sure," the blonde girl replied, following her friend as Sayaka wrenched her by the hand, pulling her into the kitchen out of earshot.

"Are you out of your mind?!" The blue-haired girl snapped. "Why, of all things, did you encourage Homura to get rid of Madoka's admirers?! Are you trying to get people killed?"

"Perhaps you don't see what I do," Mami answered serenely.

"No! I don't!"
"You see, Homura would try to get rid of them whether or not I tried to stop her," the blonde girl explained, as if it was obvious. "The only person with such power over her is Madoka, and of course I doubt even she could persuade Homura not to do that. So, I tried to mitigate the damage."

"How?!" Sayaka seemed almost frustrated enough to rip her own hair out. "What did you do?"
"I planted it into her head that she…..ah, might need a subtler touch. A guiding hand, not a forceful fist."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

Mami chuckled softly. "You'll see."
"I swear, you're worse than Kyoko," the blue-haired girl muttered under her breath, wondering to herself just what kind of screwed up friends she had.

Meanwhile, in the Kaname residence, minutes later…

"I see now….." Homura thought carefully, sitting in front of a whiteboard with pictures of the faces of all of the students of Mitakihara who she deemed threats to Madoka, connected by strings and pins. "…..delicacy, Tomoe says. Alright then. I have it figured out."

She took out a pointer, pointing between two particular images; one, portraying the dark-haired boy by the name of Nakazawa, the most likely messenger. Homura knew him as Miss Saotome's usual victim when she made her rants about her various boyfriends, including her famous rant about the cooking of eggs.

The other was a random girl. Homura, from her hastened research into the matter, had determined that Nakazawa had some interest in the girl she'd chosen. The fact that she very heavily resembled Miss Saotome, to the point of having much the same haircut and glasses was of no consequence to Homura.

"….I see," the time-traveller concluded. "I know now what I have to do."

"The length of human possessiveness has always intrigued me. I sometimes regret that our partnership ended the way it did."
Homura resisted the urge to immediately open fire as she turned around, glaring at Kyubey with a look that could kill Witches. She breathed in deeply.

"Go. Away."

"Miss Tomoe is in one of her cake-baking moods again," the Incubator commented with a flick of their tail, strutting about Homura's shelf. "And besides, you're more interesting."

"Be quiet. You aren't accompanying me tonight," Homura brusquely warned Kyubey, loading a duffel bag with faked love letters, what appeared to be a reservation for a modest restaurant in downtown Mitakihara, and what seemed to be a pair of business cards.

"Alright," Kyubey made a noise that seemed to convey disappointment, if they could feel something like that. "Well, if you insist on going alone, I cannot stop you. I cannot afford to be killed, what with my infinite supply of shells being cut off now. I must say, though, you really are one of the most interesting humans I have ever met."

"Be quiet," Homura remarked, opening up the window in her room, jumping outside with her duffel bag.

…..

The next day, Mitakihara Middle School…..

"Oh my god!"

"Look! Look!"
"Huh?" Sayaka tried to jostle her way past the crowd to figure out what was going on, with Madoka pushing past her. "What's up today?"

"It's Nakazawa! And Hirano!"

Madoka tilted her head, trying to heft her tiny frame over the crowd. "Huh? Sayaka, can you see what's going on?"

The pink-haired girl tried to pull herself up, catching a glimpse of Nakazawa and Hirano- a girl Madoka and Sayaka had always joked was a dead ringer for a younger Miss Saotome- holding hands and eating lunch together. Her eyes lit up, curious.

"What? When did that happen?!" Madoka inquired excitedly, looking over at Sayaka, who shrugged. "I dunno, but people are already talking about things," the blue-haired girl explained. "They say someone set them up."

Madoka stared at her confusedly. "What, like that weird thing with Cupid's arrow?"

"Yeah," Sayaka nodded to affirm her statement. "The two of them just ended up finding letters for each other and having a nice dinner at that one noodle place. They only found this one business card at the end of it all, saying something like 'broken hearts should contact this number' or something like that."

Madoka seemed spooked by that, her mouth slightly agape. "That's a little weird! Did you call that number?"
"I tried," Sayaka replied. "Nobody picked up, but people keep saying that they get answers, so maybe it's…..hm….." She paused, thinking carefully. Her pink-haired companion tilted her head.

"Huh? What is it, Sayaka?"
"You don't think…." The blue-haired girl started, before shaking her head. "….no, no way."

"Huh? What is it? What is it?"

"I was thinking it was another magical girl like us," Sayaka expounded, before shaking her head. "Or maybe I'm just insane. It seems pretty unlikely that, except in our town, a magical girl would waste her power like that."

Homura was next to them, nodding. "You would be right."

"Ah!" Madoka nearly jumped. "Homura, where did you come from?"
"The restroom," the black-haired girl explained frankly. "…..ah. So those two got together, as you say, hm?"

"You're interested in that kind of stuff now?" Madoka inquired, confused. "I thought you thought it made no sense…."
Homura shrugged. "Perhaps I only had a change of opinion."

'…..Homura….' Sayaka realised. '…..no way. She's not going to pull something like that off, right?'

'Exactly as planned,' Homura thought meanwhile, as she watched the couple she'd taken pains to pair up the night before. 'If one person comes to me, sooner or later they all shall. And then Madoka will be protected from corruption.'

"A change in opinion, huh?" Sayaka repeated, staring at her suspiciously. Homura simply returned her suspicion with an apathetic look.

"Yes, Miki, a change in opinion. Perhaps I am a hopeless romantic. Perhaps."

To be continued….

A/N: Well, Homura is a sneaky little girl and she wants her Madoka all to herself. More of that next time!

So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, reviews, suggestions and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!