Since four people followed this story, I decided to add one more chapter. So this is a two-shot now. Enjoy.

It had been almost an hour now, and Fullmetal still wasn't back yet. So you know what Mustang did? He ordered Hohenheim to draw a Human Transmutation circle.

He resisted, of course (I'm your elder, respect me!), but he managed to get through to him eventually.

Once he said he was done, Mustang clapped my hands and put them on the ground. Nothing happened.

"Um . . ." Winry coughed. "You didn't put your hands on the circle." She guided him to the matrix, and he clapped again. This time, something did happen. Roy Mustang stood once again in that blank, empty space, the Gate looming above him. And he could see again.

What he saw surprised him, however. Truth (that bastard) was cleaning up what appeared to be the remains of a Birthday party.

"Where are the Elrics brothers?" the Flame Alchemist demanded.

The Universe looked up. "Oh, sorry, you just missed 'em." He indicated the Gate, which had just closed.

Dammit! the Colonel thought. Great. Just great. This was a waste of time, and now I have to miss the epic family reunion where everyone is all excited about Alphonse getting his body back. I bet he's really skinny. And I'm getting off topic now.

"Well - what are you doing?"

"The Al-che-mists had a Birthday party for the skinny one, and one of my clients joined them. And for some reason I can't just snap my fingers and make their mess disappear, so I have to clean it up by hand. And to top it all off, I have an appointment with another person in five minutes." He glanced at an entirely white watch. "Make that four."

"Need any help? Wait, what am I saying? There's no way I'm helping you!"

All pouted. "Why not? I could use it, I can't be late."

"Because you're a bastard. There's no way I'd ever help something like you."

"Well, have you looked in a mirror lately Flame Al-che-mist?"

Roy scowled, then blinked when a sudden realization came to mind. "Wait, where did they get all of these supplies?"

Truth stuffed the Birthday hat into a trash bag. "Elric the Older decided that the whiteness around us is nothing and everything. So he transmuted it with alchemy." A plate was added to the garbage. "I let them go with no more of a price than allowing me a drink and letting me watch the light show."

Mustang raised his eyebrows. "For allowing you a drink? Light show? What the heck?"

"Yeah, yeah. Two minutes left."

"I'm still not helping."

"Fine." The leftover cake was thrown at him. "I don't need help, anyway. I'm You One All Truth God Universe World, I'm too powerful to need assistance."

The Hero of Ishval sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, and, after a bit of thought, strode over to the table and picked up one of the folding chairs. And then Hohenheim appeared.

"Oh, the five minutes are up," World said helpfully.

"Yeah, thanks for the warning," Roy muttered, his voice thick with sarcasm. "Not that it was useful in any way."

Hohenheim didn't seem surprised. When Roy asked why, he explained. "My sons told me all about the party." He took out a camera and snapped a photo. "Ed guessed that you would end up helping God Universe World You One All Truth clean up, so he threatened me into getting a picture. I obliged, as you can see."

A demonic aura seemed to surround Truth, and the gate opened, dragging the camera into its depths. Hohenheim grabbed at it desperately, but it was all in vain.

He transmuted another camera and caught a second picture, this one more ridiculous than the last. "There, now Ed won't have an excuse to kill me."

Mustang dropped the chair and set it, the other chairs, and the table aflame. (Hohenheim got another photo.) After this, he dragged the Xerxesian into a corner. Not sure where that came from. "Why did you really come here?" he hissed. "It's only been a few minutes, so you couldn't have been worried about me. Snapping a picture couldn't have been it."

Von sighed. "Fine, I wanted to claim the rest of the cake. Alphonse said it was really good."

"You can't trust him, Hohenheim. He hasn't tasted in years."

The blond rubbed his chin. "Good point. I'll have him grounded for the rest of my life, which won't be long."

"I don't think that's necessary. He's weak enough as it is, that should be enough of a punishment."

The old man seemed to give this a moment of thought before deciding that yes, Mustang was correct. He didn't truly know how long the rest of his life would be, so he couldn't guarantee that his son would not be grounded for five years. "Yes, you're right. I'll ground him for one week, after he's back to full health, or halfway there."

Mustang face-palmed, muttered something under his breath, and walked away. "Can I get a ticket to Amestris?" he asked Truth. "I'm tired of being stuck in the waiting area with that idiot over there." He jerked his head at Hohenheim.

"Sure, just give me a minute, I'm on cleaning duty," came the World's sarcastic reply. Mustang was pulled into the Gate three seconds later with some muttered thanks. Truth threw the (full) bag of trash after him before turning to Hohenheim. "I'm sending you off to Harry Potter's world, see you later. You can perform the ultimate cliche of taking on the name 'Nicolas Flamel' while in the past and create a new kind of Philosopher's stone blah blah blah.

The doors slammed closed on the bespectacled man's muffled protests.

Truth sighed with relief. Finally, some peace and quiet. Unfortunately, he had another appointment in one hour.

Being the overseer of the universe(s) really sucked sometimes.

Look what I've done, gone and planted the idea of a sequel about Hohenheim in my mind. Greaaaat.

I'm wondering, should I do other stories like this with other fandoms? Lemme know, if you think so. That rhymed. Ha.

-Kareha