Disclaimer: All fan characters belong to their owners. And just for you, Pokemon has been translated to English. OH JOY!

Chapter 4: Pranks Calls of Evil

Fox sighed as he tapped his fingers impatiently on the desk as he awaited the delivery of a pizza. It had been about twenty minutes since he'd called for a medium pizza for lunch, and there was no sign of a delivery boy. And if there was, Fox surely would have known, considering what happened the last time…

Flashback time!

A new pizza joint opened blocks away from the Smasher Mansion. Fox leafed hungrily through a phonebook and noticed the number. Nearly covered with drool, he punched the buttons on the phone eagerly. Two rings occurred, and luckily an employee answered. Otherwise he would he bitten the phone, and according to Luigi, that was very unsatisfying.

Fox anxiously demanded that a large cheese pizza be delivered to the Smash Mansion. The employee seemed rather puzzled at this.

"Um, sir, where is this Smasher Mansion he speak of?" the pizza place alum asked in an obnoxious nasally voice.

"…You seriously don't know about the Smasher Mansion?" replied Fox incredulously, forcing his hand away from his sloppy mouth.

"No sir, evidently I don't."

"IT'S A BIG, WHITE MANSION WHERE US SMASHERS LIVE, DUH! EVER PLAYED A GOOD VIDEO GAME OR DID YOU STICK TO YOUR PUNY EDUCATIONAL GAMES! HUH PUNK?"

"Well, if you must know-"

"Aww, Tony, not the stupid ol' childhood educational game story!" whined another employee before nearly tripping into a pool of tomato sauce.

"Oh, here it is. It will be there or be square!" finished the dorky boy with a snort.

Fox sighed and hung up the phone. His eyes gazed over to his gloved hand. Longing for food, he examined it, imagining it as a juicy pear. His mouth inched towards his hand, but thankfully the ring of the doorbell snapped him out of his daze.

"Your pizza, sir!" announced the employee from the phone proudly, despite the fact his red-orange hair was greasier than the actual pizza and his glasses were crooked from all the zits on his nose.

Fox peered into the cardboard box before touching it, and then used one finger to lift up the lid. He noticed that one piece was missing a piece of cheese near the end. His eyes glowed with rage.

"Uh, sir?"

Fox dashed inside and grabbed an old wooden baseball bat, which most likely belonged to Ness and rabidly chased the boy. After letting out a piercing scream, the boy dropped the pizza like it was hot (no, it really was) and spent about half an hour running away from the insane fox. However, he escaped when he threatened to send Fox to the mental institute. Fox gave up because he at least wanted to be at the mansion for the season finale of his favorite sappy romance soap opera.

While Fox was in the middle of reliving his strange memory, Jigglypuff waltzed down the stairs, humming her famous song.

"Fox, is that you?" she asked.

"Oh, hi Jigglypuff," answered Fox. Being with four other Pokemon, Fox quickly learned the language of these creatures (after dozens of lessons from Mewtwo, but that's another story).

"Can I sing for you?" the puffball mumbled innocently.

"No, sorry Jigglypuff," Fox replied, remembering the last time he heard her song. From what he recalled, he awoke with a bunch of butterflies tattooed on his face. It took nearly three weeks just for them to fade.

"Aww…" and with that, the disheartened Pokemon walked away sluggishly.

"But, I have an idea."

"Really?"

"We can make random calls to people so they can hear your singing! And it doesn't matter where that person lives, because Link and Mewtwo are paying the phone bill this month!"

Jigglypuff's sad expression was quickly replaced by happiness. She immediately sat herself in a chair that Marth had stained with his latte. Fox dragged out a heavy phonebook and flipped through it, marking random pages with sticky notes. Three pages were marked, so Fox went back to the first one. After speedy dialing, the phone rang.

A redneck, which was at the other end, had a fixated glare on a microwave oven. After long hours of hearing the audio book 'How To activate Your Microwave Oven for Idiotic Rednecks' and trying to process the information, he finally realized that the number that appeared to be an ear of corn was actually the number one. He was trying to figure out which number was two when the phone blared, causing loss of focus.

"Good gravy, who be that!" screamed the startled redneck, jumping and grabbing the phone. He unknowingly pressed the talk button and heard a voice come out of the top of the phone.

"Hello?" came Fox's voice. The redneck's bottom lip trembled from this. Even though he didn't know who was talking to him, he answered anyway.

"W-w-who is this?" stuttered the redneck, desperately desiring to fetch his emergency axe from his closet. Of course, being a redneck, he was unaware of the fact you couldn't hurt someone with axes over the phone.

"This is, um," Fox had to think rapidly if he wanted to fool random people over the phone, but evidently thinking wasn't his strong suit. "The government! Surrender now!"

"NO NOT THEM PIG TAKIN' PERSONS!" yelled the redneck in distress, remembering the time someone came and stole his precious stuffed pig named Elsie. The redneck even wrote a rap to express his utter sorrow, and now planned on sharing it with Fox. How fortunate for Fox indeed!

"Hey wanna hear me rap about me pig?" asked the redneck excitedly.

"Well,"

"GREAT!

My pigs be dirty when they roll around in mud

Just like a barbecued-charcoal-covered spud

But it don't matter cuz I doesn't care

And if you do I'll steal your underwear!

Pigs be like teapots, short and stout

Just like that purple-haired psychotic Girl Scout

And that was made illegal by Forrest Gump

I'm over here chillin' with my gangsta Donald Trump!

YO!"

Fox froze with a combination of fear and confusion, resulting in him slowly hanging up the phone. And that concluded Fox's first, and hopefully last, conversation with a redneck/gangster.

Fox massaged his aching head firmly with his fingertips, leaving Jigglypuff to call the next victim.

The cameraman was watching his favorite home shopping channel and eating a mega-size jar of cucumber-flavored pickles when the phone rang.

"Hello?" asked the cameraman.

At this time, Fox took over and promised Jigglypuff that this time she'd get to sing.

"Yes, this is the bank. You owe us 10.5 million dollars."

The cameraman sprung up from the couch like a frozen waffle fresh from the toaster. "Oh my gosh!" he panicked. "Is this because I bought those plug-in candles?"

"Plug-in candles?" the fox repeated in disbelief.

"Yeah, you know how people sometimes use candles for light in blackouts? I figured if there's ever a blackout around here, I could just plug in my candles and get light. It's genius!" the cameraman crooned in a somewhat girlish voice.

"Sir, where exactly do you get such ridiculous products?" Fox was doing his best to not totally squash the cameraman's fun.

"TRN."

"And what would that stand for?"

"Oh, let's see…that would be Total Rip-off Network."

"I see. Well, we'll need to recollect your information, starting with your name." Despite the fact he detested his irritating stupidity, Fox (and just about every other Smasher) longed to know the cameraman's name.

"Oh, okay. My name is-BEEP!"

"I'm sorry sir, what was that?"

"Uh, I'll have to call you back," the cameraman said anxiously. "That was my call waiting, and TRN is on the other line. I think it's about my solar-powered flashlight!" The cameraman hung up after a childish cry.

"I WANNA SING!" Jigglypuff pouted loudly.

"Oh fine, make the next call," Fox replied, annoyed.

Jigglypuff used her oval-shaped hand to punch the number keys while keeping her perfectly round eyes on the phone number. She tapped her other hand on the desk as the phone rang.

Dr. Hoshi sighed and answered the phone. "Yes, it is I…DR HOSHI! What do you want?"

"What?" the Pokemon replied innocently.

"Are you another one of those telemarketers?" Dr. Hoshi started to sound suspicious and paranoid. "I AM NOT BUYING YOUR USED TOILET BRUSHES AGAIN!"

"What? I AM a Jigglypuff."

"Don't give me that fake Pokemon bologna!"

"THAT'S IT! FEAR MY ALMIGHTY SONG!"

"What! Is that a threat! I'm calling my lawyer and pressing charges! Trust me, I know Yoshi, I'll find you, whoever-"

Unfortunately for him, Dr. Hoshi was cut off and put to sleep by the tender song. He snoring loudly into the phone, causing Jigglypuff to grin evilly. She then ran to the door and took a toolbox with her.

"Jigglypuff? Where are you going?" Fox asked rather cautiously in fear of being harmed.

Without a word, she escaped and scurried off. Only she knew what would happen next…maybe.

Entry 4: Fox and Jigglypuff

Fox

Um, yeah, I seriously think Jigglypuff is a serial killer in disguise. That redneck was cool, somehow, and the cameraman wouldn't know about common sense if it came up to him wit a big neon sign. As for that Hoshi dude, I just don't know. I' m hungry; I think I'll go harass another pizza delivery boy.

Jigglypuff

No one seems to appreciate good music any more…like Vanilla Ice…More importantly me! I am SO going to find that Dr. Hoshi. I will get revenge. And I'm no serial killer…or am I?

Wow, who knew rednecks created such meaningful raps?

Seriously, that is like, the best thing since sliced bread.

Oh yeah, read. Review. Bring me some pie.