After all of his attempts to find civilization had failed, civilization found Kenpachi Zaraki. On that particular morning, civilization took the form of a paunchy, flannel-clad fellow driving a green tractor. Mr. Paunch pulled up, hopped down and knocked on the window of Kenpachi's truck. Kenpachi opened his eyes slowly and squinted in confusion at the flannel suddenly filling the space in front of his face. He rolled down the window.
"You lost?" Maybe Mr. Paunch owned this field. He did not look happy to find someone parked in it.
"Maybe." Kenpachi made a strong effort to vocalize above a growl, but mornings were tough like that sometimes. "Might be dead. Can't tell. You live here?"
"Yep. This here's my Canola. Those your tire tracks in my Canola?"
"I don't know what Canola is, but I've been driving through fields of this nasty yellow stuff for days. Tastes terrible. Figured I fell asleep at the wheel and this is Hell."
Mr. Paunch gazed vaguely off past the truck into the distance. "Sometimes I wonder." He shook himself back to reality, jowls jiggling. "But you're only dead if I am, and I ain't, and if I want to break even on those fancy goat soaps for the Missus this year then you need to get off my Canola."
Kenpachi did not know much about the price of goat soap this year, or even why anyone would want to wash a goat, and he still had no inkling of what Canola was, but he had some experience with family members and bills; Yachiru ran up plenty of her own sorts of bills. Phone bills. Vet bills. Grocery bills. He felt a chill run up his spine. Grocery bills. And it was all CANDY.
Mr. Paunch patted his shoulder with a large, calloused hand. "You see how it is. How 'bout you just follow me out to my place? I'll get you some breakfast."
"Only if it's not leaves. I'm sick of leaves."
"Yeah. You're not supposed to eat 'em."
"I was in a rough spot. It was the leaves or my boots, and my kid got me these."
"That why they're pink?"
"Yep. Speaking of my kid, you mind if I use your phone? Mine's broke. Stupid thing's useless."
"Technology these days, right? All these fancy gadgets and it's impossible to make a phone call."
"Yep."