Thank you all for reading my story. I also thank for the positive (And less positive) reviews. Iapologize for the mistakes I made in chapter 1. Saying that Dudley was Harry's niece, while she was his cousin. Well, that was it. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I own Retardia and Hernun and Harry's cousin. I also own Tumbledoor, Minervea and Hagrid as midget. Further I own Freaky singing and its scary inhabitant Loldemort. Harry and Dedalus however, belong to J.K.

Chapter 2: I just love living with the Dursleys

"Get up, you lousy scoundrel, get up!"

"Yes, Aunt Retardia," Harry answered lamely.

"I think you got me wrong, Potter. When I say get up, I mean get up NOW!" Harry's aunt screamed from under Harry's bedroom. For as far as you could call it a bedroom. Harry lived in England in a small town called Freaky singing in a big house at Letit Drive. In this big house there were 5 floors. First of all: the basement. This was were Harry's one month older cousin Dudley kept her collection of spare barbies which she used when her boyfriends came over to play. Harry was glad he was not one of his cousin's boyfriends because he often heard faint screams and yelps coming from the basement. Second of all: The main floor. The main floor exists out of five parts (A/N: I know this part is boring, but I couldn't just skip the first floor. That would be like making a sandwich and skipping the mustard, or something else for people who don't like mustard). The kitchen, the entrance hall, the living room, the garage and the food store (A lot of food is necessary to keep Dudley satisfied). Third of all: Second floor. This is where some people sleep. With some people I mean Harry's aunt, uncle and cousin. There is nothing really special about this floor. Fourth of all there is the attic, which is entirely empty, apart from huge quantities of entirely nothing. And last and definitely least luxurious of all: Harry's home. A tent, attached to the slanted roof with C-quality nails. The tent contains an old tablecloth on which Harry can lie (Definitely not so bad once you get used to it) and a large bag filled with straw which can lie on Harry (Also not so bad once you get used to it). Harry doesn't complain however for he never knew a life that was better. But we were now at the part where Harry's aunt told him to come down. Unfortunately, there is no way down from the roof edge except for the hose pipe. But Harry is not allowed to use it on the way down because it will then break one point zero zero zero two six five zero zero one times as fast, according to uncle Hernun's theory. So, Harry would just have to jump down like every other peaceful morning and try to ignore the broken bones as much as he could. Harry sighed.

"I'll give you ten more seconds," Retardia barfed from below, "and then I will let your adorable cousin throw barbies at you." And she started counting down.

"Okay, Okay, I'll jump. Just keep her and her barbies away from me." And he jumped. Two seconds later he cursed himself for not looking where he was going to fall before he jumped and he tried to climb out of the cow parsnip (Big ugly pants which give you large burning blisters). He didn't know why his aunt grew these hideous plants in the front yard, but he guessed it was just one of her dark hobbies.

When he finally came out his cousin pushed him back (She could easily do this for she was much bigger and stronger) and laughed. "Hiehuioaehhuihaaehio. Why are you going back? Was it cosssssssssssy in there? And she laughed her horrible laugh again." When Harry came out for the second time he immediately ran to the front door and entered the house. He went to the bathroom and took off his extremely dirty clothes (His only clothes) and stepped under the shower.

When he had been in the bathroom for already ten seconds his Uncle Hernun banged on the door. Telling him to hurry up. Harry did and another ten seconds later he was standing downstairs with his clothes on, eating the cold leftovers of last nights meal.

Normally, Harry would call this a normal day. But not today he wouldn't. Today was worse.