Chapter 4: Knowing Me, Knowing You.

Jimmy was rummaging through the CDs in the glove compartment. "Man, is any of this stuff yours? It's all hair metal C.K."

Jimmy's photographic assignment had dragged on a few hours too long so he'd called to let Chloe know he'd be late. Since Clark was also staying behind after work to tie up a few loose ends (including a couple of saves as the Red-Blue Blur), he'd offered Jimmy a ride back home.

"Somehow, Lois' questionable music finds its way everywhere. I'm sure even you've found a few Whitesnake CDs amongst your stuff, Jimmy," said Clark. Jimmy replied with a knowing nod.

"In return, she's taken half my shirts," Clark continued.

Jimmy smiled. "I know, she sleeps in those things! You know what they say, when a girl gets comfortable in a guy's shirts, it means she has a thing for the guy. When a guy lets a girl wear his shirts, he's marking his territory!"

"Marking his t-…that's ridiculous. Lois doesn't have a thing for me. Have you seen us together? We argue ALL the time!" Clark replied defensively, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

"Oh, I've seen you two alright!" Jimmy countered suggestively. Clark squirmed in his seat even more.

Seeing Clark's discomfort, Jimmy decided to stop pestering him and reached into his backpack, pulling out an ABBA album. "You don't mind do you?" he asked, showing Clark the album cover.

"No, go right ahead."

Jimmy inserted the CD and they listened to ABBA tunes for the rest of the ride. Clark didn't mind the music so much. It wasn't his sort of thing but it wasn't offensive to his ears. He remembered as a child how his mom often listened to older pop music on the radio in the kitchen so he was familiar with the likes of the Carpenters and ABBA. His dad loved Johnny Cash.

"Chloe teases me for liking ABBA, and Lois can't stand them. She says they made music for people who don't like music. Can you believe that?"

Clark laughed. Then he had a thought. "Hey Jimmy, do you mind if I borrow this CD? There's some good stuff on here."

Jimmy perked up. "Smart guy! You know what, keep this one. I have at least one other copy lying around somewhere."

Clark narrowed his eyes and turned to Jimmy as if questioning him. Jimmy shrugged his shoulders and smiled sheepishly.

Clark pulled his truck into the alley beside the Talon, and he and Jimmy made their way into the apartment. Chloe was in the kitchen making coffee when they walked in. Lois was in the shower.

Before anyone could say anything, Lois called out from the bathroom, "Hey Chlo, I just realised I left my phone in the car. Could you do me a favour and get it for me? My keys are on the side."

"OK," replied Chloe.

Clark was standing beside the table on the side and saw Lois' keys there, along with a pad of Post-It notes, a few pens, a tube of Superglue and a mini stapler.

"Chloe wait, let me. I think I left the truck unlocked anyway," said Clark quickly. Chloe nodded so he grabbed the keys and the Superglue as the bones of an idea formed in his head.

Walking back out to Lois' car, he remembered she had a CD player where you could remove the fascia for security reasons. It also came with a mini remote control which she stashed amongst all her other junk in the little cubby hole in front of the gearshift. She probably never used it and with all the mess, would never notice if it was missing.

He first went to his truck and retrieved the ABBA CD before locking up. Unlocking Lois' car, he got in the driver's seat (after rolling it back so he could fit in) and pocketed her phone which was on the passenger seat. Starting the engine, he immediately turned the volume knob right down on her CD player to drown out any noise from the hair metal CD that was in there. Removing her CD, he put it in the glove compartment beneath the stack of CDs already in there, and then popped in the ABBA album. Grateful that her CD player had a volume knob rather than volume buttons, he started scanning through the album to see that it played OK. He also tested the remote control which he intended to take with him. Everything worked perfectly.

Turning off the engine, he took out the Superglue. The volume knob was put on a high setting (though not full blast) and glued in place. He then applied small dabs of glue to the other buttons on the fascia so they couldn't be pressed, followed by gluing the fascia into its slot so it couldn't be removed. Popping the remote control into his pants pocket, he got out, re-adjusted the seat and locked the car before heading back to the apartment. Lois was in for one hell of a commute tomorrow!

Lois was still in the shower when he re-entered the apartment. Putting Lois' keys, phone and Superglue back on the table, he told Chloe and Jimmy he was heading back home as it was getting late. Jimmy thanked him for the ride and everybody said they'd see each other tomorrow. With that, Clark left.

Lois had woken up a little late so was in a rush to leave for work. That meant that while she'd showered and changed, she had no time for breakfast. No coffee in the mornings made for a cranky start to the day. She grabbed her bag, keys and phone and left the apartment. Jimmy and Chloe were still asleep as he had the day off and they were tackling a few pre-wedding tasks today.

She got in her car, hoping that traffic on the way in would be kind. The road leading into Metropolis had been undergoing maintenance over the past month so the commute took a bit longer than usual which was why Lois hadn't had time for breakfast. Her seat was a little too far back but there was nothing untoward to forewarn her of what was about to happen. She started the engine, and from her position she couldn't see Clark standing in the alleyway of the building across the street.

The opening bars of 'Waterloo' caused her to almost jump out of her seat.

"What the hell?" she said as she turned to her CD player. The light shining through her rear window onto the dashboard had done a great job of hiding the fact that her CD player had Superglue all over the buttons. She turned off the engine and gathered herself. Lois knew she had no other choice but to drive in order to make it to work on time so she fired up the engine again. Again she was 'serenaded' by the sounds of ABBA. By this time, Clark had walked up to the Talon's alley and hidden behind a dumpster. As soon as he saw the car start up and heard the music blaring again, he pressed the fast forward button on the remote control so the CD player skipped to a later portion of the song.

Lois was in the car frantically pressing every button on her CD player to no avail. She couldn't get it open or switch it off and her caffeine-deprived mind was really struggling with the assault on her eardrums. Giving up, she put the car in drive and peeled away frustrated. She was going to kill Jimmy when she saw him later!

She never spotted Clark at any point during her commute from hell, and could only sit there embarrassed and shellshocked as passers-by and other commuters turned to give her funny looks as the music continued to blare from her CD. Clark had been using his super-speed to stay within range to use the remote control and he was having a whale of a time fiddling with the songs, skipping through them, forwarding through portions of the songs and occasionally skipping back to repeat previous songs.

"Great! Not only did he put this crap on, but it doesn't even work properly!" huffed Lois, getting more and more irritated.

Clark also tried fiddling with the volume control and when he found that it worked, he messed about by sometimes reducing the volume, sometimes muting it and then turning it way back up. Lois was so annoyed she even thought about getting her car run over by a tank or maybe shelling it to smithereens. Clark's super-hearing had picked up on her irritation and left him grinning widely the entire time.

"This is not happening!"

Arriving at a temporary roadblock, she tried to avoid the gaze of two patrol officers who were looking at her car. It was so obvious that her car was the source of the sounds of 1970s Swedish pop that could be heard next to the usual sounds of road noise and car horns. Opening her phone, she sent a message to Clark:

"Need your help when I reach office. Lois"

After another hour or so of torture, Lois pulled her car into a space on a street around the corner from the Daily Planet and switched the engine off. Her ears were ringing and her brain was in the bizarre situation of now knowing the words to songs like 'Mamma Mia!' despite her vehement protests. She sat there for a moment trying to gather her senses - desperate for a coffee to reignite her synapses - before getting out and locking up. Charging into the building and running down to the bullpen, she spotted Clark sitting on her desk.

As he saw her walk in, he got up and asked, "I got your message Lois. What's the S.O.S?"

"S.O-" she repeated as her eyes went wide. No, it couldn't be! Walking round to her desk, she spotted a cup of coffee and the ABBA album cover. Her mouth opened and she turned to look at Clark again. He was standing there with his arms folded with the slightest hint of smugness on his face.

"Smallville, I am going to kill you!"