A long time ago, Gakupo learned of loss.
He had a family once. They were strong believers in God and the power he held over the world, and he was raised with a hefty faith of his own. Though it differed from theirs just slightly, he couldn't say he worshipped God or hated him. It was neutral; instead he believed that something was there to protect his loved ones.
That faith was severely shaken when his parents were struck down for choosing belief instead of being herded like sheep into a circle of those who deemed God worthless. They were killed before his eyes. His clothes were spattered with their blood, and his mind was filled with never-ceasing replays of that scene.
That which he had treasured was torn from him, and he was left alone- until he met a lovely pink-headed girl who travelled with him for a year, then a boy with blue hair and a brunette who welcomed them, and began the tight family they later became.
He never forgot the memories of his parent's deaths. They stayed with him, and haunted his dreams. He vowed that day that he wouldn't ever let the same thing happen to anyone else he loved. He would save them from that wretched fate. He couldn't let them be murdered in front of him.
Unfortunately for him, that vow was broken in little more than a few years.
He grew closer with Luka, his companion whose past still was an enigma, and befriended eight others. They were all different in their own special ways, and he adored that fact. To the younger ones- Mayu, Miku, Len and Rin- he became a big brother figure, guiding them, and to the eldest few he was a steady source of positivity and reason. He made it a mission to be their support, and give them a shoulder to rely upon. He helped Kaito take care of their small group, learned the beauty of poetry from Gumi, appreciated Rin's usual optimism. He kept them together, and they did the same for him.
They were all such a wonderful family.
Then the prophecy came along, and declared the silly, gentle Miku as the next Messiah.
He was immediately against it. For once in his life, he couldn't maintain composure, because it wasn't right. She had a future ahead of her, she had everything to look forward to.
His soul was stung by the beautiful rose of fate's sharp thorns once again.
Later, Kaito came to him. The blue-haired man who usually seemed cool and on top of things, was severely troubled. Whenever he was unsure of the right decision, he asked Gakupo's advice- and that's what he did. With a solemn, serious expression, he told the monk exactly what he was thinking.
"We can't let her take on the blessings alone. We vowed years ago we would share in her joy, and her pain, which is why I want to ask everyone something incredibly selfish. I want to save Miku from such torment, and to do that… we will have to take away the blessings."
He did try to talk Kaito out of it. He told him it would hurt her, that she would be broken apart before she reached the top. To stage such betrayal, to steal away the hope she clings to, would be a crushing sin for them all.
Yet he knew that they'd do it. Because they loved each other, and because they protected one another. Not a single person would protest, at least not publicly. They would all simply agree, and accept it.
The extent that their family went for those they loved even touched upon death itself.
Uncertain how else to cope, Gakupo went to Luka and talked to her about it. The ever-mature pinkette listened to his problems.
"I've never seen you so frustrated," she had remarked, leaning on her hand beside him and gazing at him, her sky blue eyes darkened. Whenever he worried, she worried as well. He always admired how much she cared for him.
"I don't want to see them die like this, Luka. I've seen so much tragedy alone, and with you, that to do this seems like a slap in the face." He'd buried his face in his arms, peering at her over the sleeves of his robe. "And yet, you seem so accepting."
"That is because I know I can't change what's already been chosen for us." He hadn't missed the note of sorrow tinged in her tone, or the wistful look on her face. "This world's well-being rides on Miku's shoulders. I know her well enough to know that she won't stay back to watch it plummet into chaos. She will take the strenuous journey to the Tower of AI. If, by my voluntary betrayal, she can face God and ask he give peace to this world once more, I will."
"Are you really fine with that?" He had stared into her lovely eyes, and felt his hope chip away with her words.
"In the end, it's the only way."
Without faith in another option, he resigned himself to the only thing he had; his own steady nature. When his other friends reeled at being asked to 'betray' Miku, he gave them comfort, and in turn he reassured himself.
This is the only way.
Even with those words, and Luka's presence at his side, he felt hollow. With every step toward the Tower of Ai, and every rock and tree that passed by, he felt hopeless. He couldn't see the beauty in the nature he once adored anymore. The world that seemed beautiful when they had been oblivious to destiny now seemed decaying, black and white instead of colorful and brilliant.
"Will all of you do this to me…?" Miku cried, once Mayu had run off to take the blessing after her sister's. The final five beside the Messiah herself stood gravely, watching her weep, none making a move to reassure her. There's wasn't anything left to be said, nothing left for her. They could only continue on the path they've chosen, which lay barren and rocky before them.
He saw the toll their betrayal took on the tealette. Her expression was desolate, her cries wrenching at his soul, and he prayed for forgiveness, and that she had the strength once this was over to continue to her final step.
But first, he had to take his own.
He met the eyes of the few remaining individuals, and at that moment Miku took determined strides towards the next blessing, the lifeless torch in her hand stark and tight in her grip.
"I- I won't let you." Her gaze was cool silver steel; liquid sorrow. Before the next room she planted her thin frame, feet splayed, hands in the air on either side of her. Her eyebrows furrowed, she shook her head and declared, "I won't let you do this anymore!"
"You don't have a choice, Miku." His own voice echoed, and she stared at him. She, who he had treated as a younger sister and a smart pupil whom he had taught, looked at him like he was nothing less than a monster who had entered her sight.
In a way, it wasn't far off from how he felt.
"Gakupo, please… not you too." Disbelief resounded from her voice. "Please… not you."
Without hesitation he stepped forward, walking close enough to see her trembling behind the facade she threw up. He stopped only a moment.
"You didn't think we would just let you take these blessings as your own, did you?" he murmured, his tone dropping octaves so only she could hear. She stiffened. "How foolish."
He brushed by her, and she said not a word as he entered the room with the earthy, pendant embossed blessing within. He turned to face them all, and he rested only on Luka. Her rose-colored cheeks were bone white, and her eyes were not the loving blue he knew so well, but a storm gray, haunted.
How he'd miss her, the woman he had loved so unconditionally; and how he'd regret his silence in the afterlife.
He threw a laugh into the stifling air. "May the powers of this world have mercy on you," he intoned, and anyone who knew nothing would have thought the words directed to Miku. But in reality, he meant the friends who stood behind her, each of them having seen too much tragedy in their lives, who would now become their own type of sorrow.
The doors shut, and he was given the peacefulness of silence that rang loud in his ears.
He heaved a sigh that vibrated through his entire body, and quietly issued a prayer that they all would be given quick punishments before activating the atonement symbol, closing his eyes and resigning himself.
He really did wish that the powers that existed, that the God he had stupidly given his faith to, would have been kind enough to save them without so many innocent sacrifices. Or perhaps, because they wanted a beautiful paradise to exist as their world, this was their just punishment.
The ground rumbled beneath him, tossing the purple-headed man off balance easily. He couldn't keep steady equilibrium, and clung to the pedestal. He felt the symbol burning within his skin, hot and searing his soul from inside himself.
The floor beneath him cracked apart with a yawning roar, and he found himself falling. He clawed at the edge, but there was little purchase to find on the smoothly polished stone. A scream unfit for a man burst from his throat, his fear caving through his resolve. Below was only black void, perhaps an endless drop, or a crushing demise. The atonement he had chosen awaited him.
Damn… He felt his fingers slipping away, and inhaled deeply, thinking of Luka, of the strength in the eyes of his allies when they agreed to do this.
They were his strength, and he would place his faith in them from here on.
Thank you, for being my own constant when I had nothing.
He let a loose chuckle escape his chapped lips, and released his hastily fading grip on the edge of the rift, allowing the earth to swallow him.