A/N: This is an Emma POV chapter only. For reasons. Hope you enjoy!
Emma wasn't interested in looking through the rest of Hook's personal items littered throughout the cabin. She wasn't sure how long she would be waiting for the tub to arrive. Finding a comfortable position in her chair, it wasn't long before Emma had drifted off to sleep. Over the years, she hadn't always had a place to sleep. Emma would have to make due with whatever was available. Sometimes sleeping hidden in someone's barn, or in a tree in the forest. Having a chair, even a hard wooden one, was far more comfortable.
She wasn't sure how long she had drifted off for. It didn't seem like very long at all when the short man with a red cap, whom she believed was called Mr. Smee, came barreling into the Captain's quarters. Emma jumped at the intrusion, but he hardly seemed to notice. This was a man on a mission, "Hello, Miss Swan." He said with a grin, "The captain has sent us with whatever you might need."
Emma tried to pull herself out of her grogginess. She listened as Mr. Smee showed her a chest filled with nice smelling bath soaps, a comb, brush, and various other necessities. Mr. Jameson followed him holding a simple cotton green dress that he laid for her on the bed. William had apparently already been in the room. He must have been quietly filling her bath while she slept.
"Thank you, this is very much appreciated." She said kindly, feeling slightly uncomfortable with all the attention. Soon they left her to her own devices.
Emma was extremely grateful for the bath. She felt like she hadn't been properly clean in months. Looking into the trunk, Emma smelled several of the brightly colored soaps, finally deciding on a light pink one that reminded her of middlemist flowers. She stripped off her dirty clothes, and slipped into the warm bath, feeling her muscles relax as she sat in the hot water. It took her an hour to scrub all the dirt and grime away. It was plenty of time to lose herself in her thoughts.
Sometimes, Emma felt like she was constantly at war with herself. Currently, she lived her life as Emma Swan, a bandit constantly on the run. Much like her mother had once been, she thought with a sad smile. It was easy to forget what it was like to be a princess. Emma had grown used to being able to make her own decisions. Still there was always a part of her that reminded her of who she really Princess that would someday return home. The Princess with a destiny, a prophecy she would soon have to fulfill.
Emma had been responsible and perhaps a little overly cautious during her time alone. Keeping people at arm's length, and completely avoiding romantic entanglements had always felt like the best decision for her. It was the best way to avoid getting herself or someone else hurt.
Besides, how could she let anyone truly in? Princess Emma was supposed to be dead. It was the only reason why she was able to live her life without the Evil Queen constantly trying to kill her. If she had found someone, they would only be attracted to the person she pretended to be. It would be worse, if they discovered the truth later, and learned of her deception. How could anyone forgive that?
Emma would only be dragging someone into her problems, and possibly making them a target of the Evil Queen. Putting someone else's life in danger, just so she could be honest about who she was, didn't seem like a fair trade. Emma was already concerned about Mr. Jameson knowing her true identity. She worried she was putting him in unnecessary risk. Out on the ocean, away from the Enchanted Forest, it was easy to forget how dangerous her life actually was.
All she wanted was to just be normal Emma Swan. To be free of her responsibilities. To be free of her temperamental magic. Although, her magic not working was her own fault. She refused to accept it as a part of her, because of what it represented. Emma knew she would soon have to, and that was the worst part. Accepting her magic meant accepting her role as the savior. The princess that would defeat the Evil Queen, and restore all the happy endings. A responsibility and future that she did not want.
Finally finishing up with her bath, Emma climbed out of the tub and glanced in the mirror. Beneath all the dirt, she supposed remnants of the princess still remained in her features. She pushed these thoughts out of her head, and tried to focus on the tasks ahead.
Braiding her hair back, Emma dressed quickly. The green cotton dress fit nicely on her, she thought as she admired herself in the mirror. It had been a long time since she had worn one. Emma rightly assumed Hook had chosen this article of clothing in hopes of annoying her. She had no intention of letting him succeed. A knock came at the door, and she called, "Come in." Turning away from the mirror as Hook entered the room.
He stared at her for a moment, "You look stunning."
"I know." Emma replied with a smiled.
"Would you like a tour of the Jolly Roger now?" He looked slightly dazed still. Emma nodded as Hook offered his arm to her, and she cautiously accepted it.
"Dinner is probably waiting for us in my cabin now." The captain said casually, using his hook to scratch behind his ear. He looked almost bashful, if that was even possible for a pirate. She nodded in response.
Emma had just finished meeting the last member of his crew. She had felt slightly overwhelmed by the tour. It was hard enough keeping up with him as he explained the ship, how things worked. Or the various terminologies for things like pointing out a direction right and left. Emma had already forgotten the words for them, overloaded with information. She had meant to ask why they were called something differently on a ship. Didn't that make things more confusing? However she didn't really have much of a chance.
The more excited Hook was, the faster he seemed to talk. He had been animated talking to her about the ship. Explaining things her like the rigging, and how it all worked. Emma tried to follow him the best she could, but occasionally she found herself distracted by his expressions as he spoke. Several times she had to inwardly scold herself to pay attention.
As it was now, Emma was worrying about how many names of the crew she needed to remember. As if he knew what Emma was thinking, he said, "Don't worry if you can't remember everyone's name right at once, love." He added encouragingly, "You'll learn them all soon enough, I'm sure."
"How do you keep doing that?" She asked, bewildered.
"Doing what?"
"It's like you know what I'm thinking. You keep answering my questions before I ask them. How could you could tell I was worried about not remembering the crew's names?"
Hook shrugged, "You're somewhat of an open book, love."
"Really?" Emma raised her eyebrow at him.
He smiled, "Is it so inconceivable to think that someone might know what you're thinking."
"Seeing as though you barely know me? Yes. Yes, it is."
Hook laughed and led the way down the stairs to his cabin. "I can see right through you, Emma Swan." She followed him into his room, rolling her eyes.
The table, once a mess, had been cleared. Two place settings sat across from each other, and food covered the table. The meal was extravagant for something at sea, Emma thought. After having nothing but table scraps, she had to admit to herself that she was famished.
"Turns out the merchant ship you were on wasn't too far from the coast. The Captain had a feast prepared for his dinner tonight. Seemed a shame for only one man to enjoy it." Hook said with a devilish grin.
He pulled out the chair for her, and pushed it in while she sat down. "Thank you." Emma said, surprised by his gentlemanly gesture.
"Not what you were expecting from a pirate captain, I suppose?" He asked her.
"No, not exactly." She said as she watched him grab two small glasses, and fill them with rum. He handed her a glass with barely half a shot in it. Emma looked up at him incredulously, "That's it?" she asked.
Hook took the glass back, filling it further and handing it back, "Cheers, love." He said before throwing the drink back. Emma did the same, and he seemed slightly impressed.
"So, once we make port, what's your plan exactly?" Hook inquired, as he poured two more drinks.
"What do you mean?" Emma asked as she began serving herself food.
"Well, once we get to our destination, and you hypothetically leave the ship. You will be in a new land. What's your plan? Are you just going to continue to be a bandit?" He set her drink in front of her, and sat down.
Emma shrugged, "Maybe? Or maybe I'll go somewhere. Build myself a cabin in the woods, and survive off the land."
"Survive off the land?" He asked in disbelief, he had frozen in the process of serving himself food.
"I'm an excellent hunter. Plus, I know plant life well enough to know what's edible and what's not." Emma said in a dignified voice.
"I don't doubt it." Hook gave her a crooked smile.
The way he looked at her made her self-conscious. He had told her himself that she was an open book to him. Now she wondered how much of the real Emma could he see. She stared at her plate and began eating her food.
She wouldn't say she was uncomfortable by his attention. Hook was handsome and charming, unlike some of the tales she had heard of him. She had expected him to be a brute, ruthless, deplorable even. However, the man that sat across from her seemed to be almost gentle at times.
While yes, he did attack ships and steal their cargo. And yes, he had probably maimed and killed people in the process. Was stealing cargo from a ship really any different from her stealing to survive? While Emma had never killed anyone herself, was she not supposed to end the Evil Queen's reign? Would that not, possibly, require her killing the Evil Queen to make that happen? Emma's stomach clenched every time she thought about it.
Emma supposed that not everything was so black and white. It was possible to be good, but still make bad choices. Hook was a pirate, but she wouldn't call him a villain. She honestly believed him to be a good man, despite his chosen profession. She had a gut feeling that she could trust him. Part of her wondered if her feelings were blinding her judgment.
She had tried to ignore it, but even now, Emma couldn't help noticing how handsome he was. She found she liked the scruff of his beard, and how he lined his eyes with kohl. Though she tried not to look into his eyes too frequently. Emma was sure looking into his eyes for too long would put her in some kind of danger. Not looking into his eyes meant she spent quite an amount of time staring at his chest, which he didn't seem too bothered with covering up. His shirt was permanently half opened. Emma hoped the captain didn't notice her attraction to him. Yet as the night continued, she had a suspicious feeling that he was very much aware already.
Since the moment Emma had stepped on his ship, she could not ignore that Hook was flirtatious with her. For the most part, he was extremely blatant about it, and seemed to rather enjoy making Emma blush. Thankfully, his flirtations were only limited to his facial expressions and his words. Although, he could imply a lot with a single sentence. If Emma was being completely honest with herself, she would have admitted to being pleased by his attention.
Despite his constant flirting, and notoriety as a pirate, there was a cautiousness present in his actions. He was careful to give her space, to not make unnecessary contact, unless Emma had permitted it. Like when they walked arm in arm on the deck, or he offered her his hand to assist her. It was as if he expected her to run off at a moment's notice. Emma supposed he wouldn't be incorrect for thinking so. Running away was what she did best.
It was almost funny that she was trapped on a ship at sea with him. With no practical way to avoid him, no place to run, she would actually have to face whatever this was.
They ate in silence for a while, until he offered her another glass of rum. Emma accepted his it. Rum seemed to be helping her with her nerves.
"What if you had another option?" he asked after a while.
"What kind of option?" Emma looked at him quizzically.
"Well... you could stay." Hook said hesitantly.
Emma stared at him blankly, trying to conceal what she was thinking. Several different emotions and thoughts flowed through her. The most predominate being slightly happy that he wanted her to stay.
With more conviction, Hook added, "If you wanted to, you can join us, be part of the crew. Sail the seas, go to new lands. You don't have to give me an answer right now... Just think about it. Make your decision once we've gone back to shore, Miss Swan."
"Okay, I'll consider it." Emma said after a moment, and she meant it. A part of her wanted to tell him yes in that very moment. The part that wanted to remain free, an even smaller part was whispering that she wanted to stay with him, but she didn't. Some sense still prevailing, she assumed. Besides Emma wasn't one to easily commit to anything.
Hook seemed to be chewing over a question in his mind. "So, how does a woman like you become a bandit, running from the law? It doesn't suit you somehow."
"I did what I had to to survive." Emma shrugged.
"Cheers to that." He said, raising his glass before taking another drink. They grew quiet for another moment.
"Why don't you think it suits me?" Emma asked shyly.
Hook's brows furrowed. He paused to consider his response, before finally saying, "Well, there are different facets to you that don't quite add up to being a bandit. I suspect your banditry was most likely due to being in a desperate situation. You're running away from something." Emma must have revealed some panic in her eyes, because he quickly added, "You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to. It's your business. I by no means have any room to judge you, should you decide to confide in me. Which is probably a big ask from you. I don't think you give your trust easily."
"Let's say, hypothetically, that you're right. I'm running away from something…" Watching Hook carefully, she asked, "What made you think that?"
"Well, I find it hard to believe that you don't have any suitors. Some young man that wants to make an honest woman out of you. If you were running away from something, and wanted protection, you could have easily married to achieve that. Unless you are engaged or already married. Are you possibly running away from your fiance?" His teased, but not unkindly.
"I'm not engaged or married." Emma said sternly. She added more softly, "There was someone I cared about once, but he died a long time ago."
"I'm sorry." Hook's voice was quiet, "I know what it's like to lose the person you love." Emma thought they might lapse into silence again, but he continued gently, "I'm still surprised, given you implied that he had passed a long time ago, that you haven't tried to move on."
Hook was attempting to make it sound like a passing thought. One that didn't require an answer, but Emma could tell he honestly wanted to know.
"There hasn't been anyone since him. I mean, there have been men that showed interest, but I didn't reciprocate it. And I wouldn't marry for security or money or status."
"Then what would you marry for?" Hook asked, leaning forward slightly.
Emma was surprised by his question, "It would be for love. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?"
Hook shrugged, "There aren't many people who can afford the luxury, I suppose. I'd say that most people marry for power or status."
"Please tell me you don't honestly believe that?" Emma was borderline outraged.
"Are you a romantic, Miss Swan?" Hook's voice was teasing once more.
"No. I don't know. I just think that it would be stupid to bind yourself to another person for the rest of your life just for power or money. What if you hated the person you were married to? What if they were a truly terrible person? Could you really live the rest of your life like that?"
"There are plenty of decent people that marry other decent people because it's advantageous." Hook replied.
Emma huffed, "I refuse to believe that most people enter into marriage with hopes that they are going to get something else out of it. Other than love, that is."
Hook was curious again, "The idea of marrying for love is really important to you, isn't it?"
Taking another sip, she played with the forgotten dinner that sat in front of her, "My parents married for love. They were always happy and optimistic, much more than I am. They believed that everything would just somehow magically work out for us. There's no problem, no obstacle, that their love couldn't conquer. I remember the way they would look at each other. How much love and respect they shared. They were partners. Everything they did, they did together. That's what I want. Someone who will be there for me. Someone who would look at me the same way. I think everyone deserves that." She glanced up at Hook.
She was sure she had imagined it, it was only a brief moment. Emma could have sworn she'd seen that very look in his eyes while he stared at her. But he had looked away, back down at his half-eaten plate of food.
"Your parents are lost to you?" He asked after a moment. Bringing her back to their conversation, and out of her own thoughts. It was painful for her to talk about her parents, but she managed.
"We were separated a long time ago. Our home was under attack, so they sent me away for my protection, but... they never came for me." Emma replied quietly.
"Did you ever try to go back?"
Emma shook her head, "I can't go back."
"Can't or won't?" he asked seriously.
"A little bit of both I guess." She decided after a moment, "I'm not the same person I was before I left. I'm not an optimist like my parents. I've always been realistic about everything, and now..." Emma didn't finish that sentence. She wasn't quite ready to admit her fate. "I don't know how to go back to my old life. If I went back right now, there's no way things could ever just go back to normal. Too much has happened. I feel like I would have to pretend to be someone I'm not. I don't know how to be myself there."
She struggled with herself for a moment, trying to find the right words, "If I'm being honest, sometimes I never want to go back." As many times as Emma had thought about it, that was the first time she had said it outloud.
"You want to be free." Hook said kindly. He hadn't posed it as a question, but stated as a fact.
"More than anything." Emma stared at him.
She felt that was enough to reveal to him for now. Emma wondered, if he could see really read her so well, could he see just how desperate she was to escape her own fate? Maybe that's why he offered to let her stay. He was trying to help her continue running. What better way than on a pirate ship, sailing to wherever the wind took them?
He had held her gaze, but then they both returned to their meal. Emma wasn't sure if it was the rum or his charm that got her to answer his questions truthfully. For some reason she had felt compelled to be honest with him, despite barely knowing him. Emma wondered vaguely if he had given her some kind of truth potion, but she didn't really think that was why. Besides, truth potions made you answer questions fully, and she had barely scratched the surface with some of her answers.
"What are you thinking about?" Hook asked before taking another sip from his cup. It was the way he could make taking a drink look sinful that made her think it was definitely the charm. The overwhelming charm that he rarely ever seemed to turn off.
Emma tried to choose her words wisely, "You confuse me, Captain. The stories I've heard about you don't seem to reconcile with the truths I've seen." He raised an eyebrow, "True, you did attack a merchant's ship," She mused after a moment, "but from what I could tell, you didn't kill any of the merchant ship's crew unnecessarily."
"If I killed them all, who would be able to tell the stories of how they survived an attack from the ruthless Captain Hook?" He said. Eyebrow raised with what she now identified as his signature devilish grin. He had been using it quite liberally with her. With a more serious tone he added, "We don't kill men without reason or mercy, but if it's a fight they want, then it's a fight they will get."
Emma continued hesitantly, "You also gave me my freedom. You've taken care of me, even though you didn't need to. When you found out I was a woman, you didn't try to take advantage of me or hurt me. You treated me with respect, and your entire crew has behaved like gentlemen." She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and said earnestly, "Thank you."
"Miss Swan, it doesn't matter whether you're a man or a woman. You're a person, and you deserve to be treated with respect." Hook said seriously. "Besides, it was the honorable thing to do."
'It was the honorable thing to do.'
Her parents had saved each other on different occasions, it was a part of how they both met, and they both had said the very same thing. For a moment, Emma wondered what they would think of her traveling with Captain Hook.
"Mr. Jameson did ask me of my intentions after I brought you on to the ship." Hook chuckled idly, trying to lighten the conversation, "You don't have anything to worry about, Miss Swan. I intend to keep you safe."
It was how he said it, as if she were something precious, that made her pause. If she stayed, could he keep her safe? Could she tell him the truth? Would he still want her after she told him the truth?
No. She couldn't go there. She couldn't keep dancing between the line of wanting him, and needing to face her destiny. His presence was intoxicating to her, but she couldn't forget her responsibilities. Once they got to their destination, she would leave. Emma couldn't get attached to Hook. No matter how charming or handsome he was. She resolved herself to being polite, but maintain some distance. Somehow.
"Thank you for taking care of me. I'm not exactly used to it." Emma tried to smile, but it felt weak. She resolved herself to pouring another glass of rum.
"You have an impressive tolerance." Hook noted, holding out his glass as she refilled his as well.
"Not very ladylike, I'm sure." Emma replied in what she hoped could pass as a lighter tone.
"I like a woman who can hold her own." He answered smoothly. She had to admire Hook's persistence. He seemed determined to get past her walls. Emma knew she had resigned herself into a fight to keep up her defenses until they reached their destination.
Once they finished their meal, Hook stood up, "I had planned to check on a few things before calling it a night. If you promise to behave, I'll let you wander around the deck for a while."
"What exactly do you think I am going to do? We are on a boat in the middle of the ocean." Emma said sarcastically.
"First," He held up a finger, "She's a ship. Not a boat."
"My apologies." Emma replied teasingly.
"Second, you're a woman, and you're clever. Who knows what trouble you're going to get yourself into." Hook said with a wave of his hand, in a pretend serious voice. Emma rolled her eyes in response.
Hook led the way to the deck, and she took a moment to watch him without his notice. Strolling to the back of the ship, she found a good spot to stand out of the way. Looking up into the sky, Emma was amazed by how many stars she could see. Remembering the legend of the blue fairy, she wished her parents were safe, and knew she was as well.
Emma half listened to the conversation carrying on behind her. It was a simple discussion of navigation, so she didn't follow it closely. Allowing herself to get lost in thought, she didn't notice when Hook had come to stand beside her. "How are you fairing, love?"
"I'm fine. I was just enjoying the scenery." She smiled, waving towards the ocean. They stood quietly together, not saying anything for a while. "The ocean is beautiful at night, don't you think?"
"Aye, I do." Hook said quietly. Emma failed to notice that he was watching her out of the corner of his eye. She was too distracted by her own thoughts.
"I guess I can understand why you'd prefer to live on your ship. You can go anywhere, do anything. It must be nice to have your whole future open to you. You're free." She closed her eyes and pretended she was free as well.
Hook didn't respond, and Emma was grateful for the silence. The more they talked, the more the two sides of her head battled. Emma Swan wanting to run off and have her own adventures with the pirate. Princess Emma knowing that she needed to be responsible, and find a way to learn magic and defeat the Evil Queen. She wished idly that she could have both. After a while, Emma shivered, not having noticed how cold she was at first.
"Would you like to return to the cabin now?" Hook asked tentatively, and Emma nodded. "Go ahead, you can get yourself situated for bed. I'll go find myself a cot."
Emma felt a sudden surge of guilt, "I'm not going to put you out of your bed. I'll take the cot-"
Hook cut her off, "Not a chance, love. I'll be fine." He said firmly, and waved her off.
Emma turned to make her way back to his cabin, allowing herself to feel marginally guilty. On the one hand, he was a pirate she barely knew. Sharing a bed with him would be imprudent, to say the least. Especially sharing a bed with a notorious pirate captain she had just met. Emma had never shared a bed with anyone. It went against her own set of rules that she had for herself.
Yet, she found herself considering letting him sleep next to her. Mostly because she believed he wouldn't do anything improper, but also because a small part of her wanted to. Maybe it would be nice to fall asleep next to someone. Someone that wanted to keep her safe.
In the past day he had saved her from the brig, promised her safe passage, fed and clothed her. Insisted on giving her his bed, and wouldn't hear of her sleeping on the cot. While she might be confused by her own attractions towards him, she thought it might be possible that he had already determined his.
It slightly annoyed Emma that Hook had such an effect on her. Turning back to him, she knew this was going to cost her on some level, "You don't have to grab a cot. I'll share the bed with you. Just stay on your own side of the bed." She said sternly.
Whirling back around, she went to his cabin as fast as she could. He'd looked surprised by her response, but she had heard him chuckle quietly as she walked away. It only aggravated her more. She wondered briefly that this had been his plan all along.
Emma changed as quickly as she could into her night clothes, and crawled into his bed. Opting for the side closest to the wall, she got as close to it as possible. Hook took his time returning to the cabin. Probably to give her more than enough time to change. She had almost fallen asleep when Hook had come into the cabin. Her eyes closed tight, she heard him get ready for bed.
After a few minutes, he laid down beside her and whispered flirtatiously, "I knew you couldn't resist sharing a bed with me."
Without further prompting, Emma quickly turned around and shoved him out of the bed.
From the floor Hook called, "So I guess I'll be sleeping down here then, love?" She threw a pillow at him in response.