A/N: I've been editing this for a while. I almost deleted it completely and started over, but I refrained. Another is coming here in the next few days, once I have finished editing it. So you won't be waiting long to find out what happens next. I had intended to post this chapter earlier, but it was kind of a stressful weekend/week here in America. That's all I'm going to say about that. I'm just going to focus on writing, and try to be positive. I feel like I need a little hope and love right now, and that's what Once is all about, right?... I really hope you guys like this chapter. Enjoy. :)
The next few days had passed without incident. Hook had grown accustomed to waking up next to Emma each morning. He'd allow himself a few minutes to admire her before waking her, and removing himself from the bed. Most mornings started with her usual inquiries as to when he'd allow her to prove her sword fighting abilities. Each day he had given her a different excuse, trying to put it off for as long as possible.
Emma would typically sulk in the morning, alternating between drawing or writing in her book. He hadn't asked her about the contents of it yet, but Hook had been tempted. William and Emma had developed a tradition of enjoying lunch together. The boy adored her, and was always eager to hear the stories she told each night after dinner. Most of the crew admitted to enjoying her tales, even if they were of the romantic heroes and villains variety.
Hook looked forward to his dinners with Emma each night. Taking simple pleasure from the fact that he was allowed at least an hour with her alone. He enjoyed their conversations, which had morphed into discussions on their favorite books, places Emma would like to travel to, and tales of the places he had been to. She was always fascinated by the different lands he he had traveled to. Asking him to describe marketplaces, beaches, mountains and more in detail. He hoped she would stay on the ship so he could take her himself. Hook made mental notes of the places that seemed to interest her most.
The most difficult part of his day was laying in bed with Emma. Each night he was happy to be next to her. Knowing that she was safe, and where he could protect her. Hook tried to give her as much space as possible, but by morning he had subconsciously wrapped himself around her. His dreams were plagued with visions of her, where she returned his feelings. Hoping that when he told her the truth, Emma wouldn't hate him.
It had been another difficult night attempting to fall asleep. Hook could feel Emma's warmth next to him, making him more aware of her than usual. Resisting the urge to reach out and hold her, Hook had somehow managed to fall asleep. It hadn't been for very long, he was sure, judging by the darkness of his room. Still drowsy from sleep, Hook became aware of the rapping on his door. "Captain!" the voice of Mr. Smee called. Hook groaned for him to return later, but the man persisted, "Captain, it's urgent!"
Leaning up, he reached over to light a lantern that sat next to his bed. Rubbing his eyes, Hook glanced down at Emma. Her eyes were wide, face full of concern. "Come." he said to her, motioning that she should get up as well. "Just a moment, Mr. Smee." Hook yelled at the door, and the knocking subsided.
Quickly he made his way to the wardrobe. Grabbing a robe for Emma, he tossed it to her. Emma caught it gracefully, and covered herself with it. Making her way to the door, she waited for his cue to open it. Hook quickly rummaged for his own leathers and black tunic, pulling them on haphazardly. In seconds, he was prepared to greet his first mate.
Hook gave a nod to Emma, and she opened the door for Mr. Smee. The man was beside himself, "Mr. Jameson just alerted me, sir. It appears the Queen has sent another warship after us, and it's gaining quickly. We haven't gone full speed yet though, Captain. Mr. Jameson is already at the helm in your stead, getting the men prepared to outrun. He said the conditions are favorable for us to lose them easily, if that's your orders sir." Mr Smee stole a glance at Emma, before looking back at him.
It surprised him that this was their first reaction, to try to outrun the warship. His crew had never run from a fight before, yet they were willing to do so now.
'Why?' Hook wondered, then he glanced at Emma as well. The only thing different about the ship was her. She stared back at him, confused. Hook believed he had seen concern in Mr. Smee's glance earlier. Concern for Emma. Realization hit him, the crew wanted to protect her. They were willing to risk their own lives to fight the Evil Queen, but they weren't willing to risk her's.
Hook felt a gratitude for his crew that he hadn't felt in a long time. He looked back at Mr. Smee, still looking nervous, as always. Hook gave him a nod, "Give the command to outrun, and I'll join you on deck for a moment."
"You're going to run?" Emma protested. Hook wondered how long it would take her to break her silence.
"Sometimes it's better to run and live another day, Miss Swan. It's not yet daybreak. They intended to catch us in the dark for an upperhand. I'd prefer to not risk the lives of my crew and let that happen." Hook hadn't raised his voice during his explanation, but his voice was stern. Mr. Smee seemed to play along, he had stolen another glance at Emma during his brief speech, nodding at his captain's words. "On your way, Mr. Smee." The man scurried from the room.
"I thought Captain Hook never ran from a fight?" Emma asked after the door had shut. Her voice was not unkind, but it seemed as though she had not bought his false explanation.
Hook sighed, "Normally we don't. However, myself and the crew have promised to keep you safe."
Emma looked confused, "What does my safety have to do with this? You've already said you're keeping me locked down her until I can prove myself. Now you're avoiding a fight all together? It doesn't make any sense. What Queen was he referring to?"
Hook chose to avoid answering a few of her questions. He was grateful she hadn't started arguing with him about being allowed to fight again. Shaking his head, he tried to explain to her, "You haven't been here very long, but you have become a part of this crew. You've been a light on this ship. There isn't one man on this vessel that is immune to your charms. This isn't your fight, and we don't want you to get involved."
Emma still seemed suspicious. After a moment, she asked, "It's not just any Queen that sent a warship after you, is it?"
Hook saw the fear in her eyes. Knowing it was best to admit the truth, he sighed and said, "This ship has a particular grudge with the Evil Queen. One that's been fueling all of us for years."
Emma looked almost torn, "This is my fight. They know I'm from the Enchanted Forest-"
"Mr. Jameson told us that you lost your family trying to escape the Evil Queen. I think they didn't want to assume that you'd want to fight against her. Most people from your land are terrified of her powers. Rebelling against her is punishable by death, which is why most don't rally against her. Facing her, and her men, should be your choice. None of us will make that decision for you."
"Believe me, I know what happens to people who fight against the Evil Queen." Emma whispered bitterly.
The pain in her voice, coupled with the way she folded her arms around herself protectively, did him in. Not being able to help himself, Hook crossed the room towards her and pulled her to him. Emma had stiffened at his affection, but he didn't let her go. Instead he pulled her tighter towards him and whispered, "You don't have to be afraid. Whether you like it or not, there are men on this ship who care about you, and want to protect you. I know that isn't something you're used to. You've been alone for so long, but you aren't by yourself anymore."
Hook kept his arms around Emma until he felt her start to relax, "Shouldn't you be going up? What if the warship is faster than the Jolly Roger?" Emma asked quietly.
Loosening his grip around her, he said lightly, "Believe me, the Jolly is the fastest ship in the realm. We can easily outrun one of her warships."
He was surprised that Emma hadn't tried to pull away from him yet. Hook tried to ignore his heart racing, "I'm not ready to go against the Evil Queen just yet. I'm sorry." She whispered.
"Why would you be sorry? There's nothing wrong with that." Hook said, trying to comfort her by running his hand up and down her back.
"There's… something I need to tell you." Emma pulled away from him, eyes focused on the floor. Her voice was quiet when she continued, "My parents, they rebelled against the Evil Queen. It's why I left the Enchanted Forest. They were trying to protect me. If she ever finds me, she'll kill me to punish them."
Using his hook, he lifted her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye, "I promise you, Emma Swan. We will protect you. I won't let her hurt you." Emma nodded, but there was still concern etched into her features. Hook already knew that she would be in danger if she was ever discovered.
They continued to stare at each other for a moment. Hook didn't want to leave her, but he knew he should go back above. "I'll go to the deck now. Return to bed, and try to get some sleep."
Hook was surprised when she nodded obediently. Moving towards the bed, she removed the robe and climbed back in. As she curled up in the middle of the small bunk, he watched Emma carefully. Hoping he had soothed some of her fears. Grabbing his jacket, he left the room, locking his door behind him.
Determined to return to her as quickly as possible, he made his way around the deck. Checking the crew's work, that all the lanterns had been extinguished, and careful not to call out orders too loudly. Stealth was the option they had chosen. Hook stopped Mr. Smee to get a report on the warship. Thanks to some help from the cloud cover, they had already put enough distance in the dark to lose the Evil Queen's vessel.
"This detour might have cost us an extra day until we can make it to port." Mr. Smee admitted. As they discussed possibly avoiding their destination for at least a day.
"Do we have enough supplies to comfortably add a few extra days to our trip?" Hook asked patiently.
Mr. Smee replied, "We have enough, thanks to the merchant ship."
"I think an extra day should be fine, as long as we don't see any company. I'm sure you can manage the rest, Mr. Smee." Hook said with a smile, clapping the man on the back. "I am returning to bed, unless any other pressing matters come up." He seriously hoped that nothing would, hoping Emma was still okay.
Unlocking the door quietly, he could hear Emma's steady breathing. Unsure if she was still asleep, he quietly changed back into his night clothes. She was laying on her side as he settled down beside her once more. Mimicking her position, he moved until he was next to Emma. Disregarding his own rules to give her space, Hook put his arm protectively around her. He felt her stiffen only slightly, giving away that she was still awake, but Emma didn't pull away. "Are you alright, love?" He asked quietly.
She shifted slightly, and whispered, "Not especially."
"How come?" He asked, completely confused. "You know you have nothing to be sorry for."
"No, it's not that anymore. It's because I didn't tell you I was hiding from the Evil Queen. Because I'm not brave enough to fight her like my parents did." Emma sniffed, and he could tell she was crying. "She's taken everything from me, and all I do is run away. It's all I've ever done."
Hook held her closer to him, "Do you know what the beauty of being a pirate?"
"No." Emma replied dully.
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You make up your own rules to live by." In the dark, he could faintly make out her brushing away her tears. Gently he added, "I can take you anywhere you want to go. To places where she can never hurt you. Where you can finally be free."
"That sounds too good to be true." Emma replied softly.
"Well, believe it." he whispered in her ear. More teasingly he added, "Try something new darling, it's called trust."
He felt, rather than heard, her quiet laughter. Content that he had successfully made her smile, Hook wore a smile of his own as she teased, "Still trying to convince me to turn pirate, Captain."
"Perhaps." Hook replied, "For now I'll be content with keeping you safe."
Emma turned to lay on her back, so she could face him, "Why do you want to protect me?" She asked, green eyes watching him carefully. He wasn't sure how to answer her question, not without all her walls coming back up, "Mr. Jameson mentioned there was someone you lost." Emma added almost hesitantly, "He said I reminded you of her."
Hook silently cursed Mr. Jameson for meddling, "There was someone, once." He said quietly, avoiding her eyes.
"Do I… Do I look like her?" Emma asked quietly.
Carefully he answered, "She died when we were young. I suppose she might have looked like you, if she had lived." He could see disappointment flit across her face, but she quickly masked it. "I might have been drawn to you because of your similarities. However, I care for the person that you are, and that's why I want to protect you."
"You care about me?" She questioned.
At first, Hook shrugged, hesitant of saying too much. He hoped to turn the conversation to something lighter. With his signature grin and raised eyebrow, he said, "I quite fancy you from time to time. When you're not yelling at me."
Emma huffed and replied, "I hate when you do that."
"Do what?"
"When I ask you a question, and you're not comfortable with answering, you try to flirt your way out of it." Emma stated bluntly.
Staring at her for a moment, he stroked her cheek with his thumb. Answering again, more seriously this time, he said, "I care for you Emma Swan. I hope you know I mean that."
He searched her eyes for a trace of doubt. Thinking she might question him further, he prepared himself, but apparently she decided against it. Instead she rolled back over to her side. For now, the conversation was over.
Hook knew that she wouldn't admit to feeling the same way, but he had hoped. How was he going to tell her the truth? It would change everything once she knew. Stubborn, fierce, kind, and beautiful Emma Swan. She would be furious with him, he was sure.
Maybe, just maybe, Emma would understand and forgive him. Even accept him, as damaged as he was. Wrapping his arm around her as he had before, Hook waited for Emma to push him away, but she didn't. Pulling himself closer to her warmth, he soon drifted off to sleep.
Emma woke to find herself laying on her side, but she had turned in her sleep. Nuzzling into Hook's chest, her eyes popped open when she realized what she was doing. Emma had frozen, thankful he was still sound asleep. She could only imagine how unbearable he would have been the rest of the day had he caught her snuggling with him as she woke.
Temporarily Emma battled with whether or not she should pull away from him. His arm was wrapped around her, holding her close to him. She laid there defeated, there was no way for her to move without waking him.
Hook grunted, and shifted slightly in his sleep, tightening his hold on her. Even in sleep it seemed as though he could tell what she was thinking. Emma thought she should feel uncomfortable, that she should push him away regardless. However, she didn't mind the simple comfort. Going against her better judgement, she relaxed and allowed him to hold her in his arms. It felt nice to be held, she admitted to herself. It definitely wasn't something she was used to anymore.
Her parents had always been affectionate with her. They showered her with love constantly. Now she knew she had taken it for granted. Emma had grown up thinking that they would always be happy. That their story was a fairytale with a happy ending. Then the Evil Queen had returned, more fierce and powerful than ever. She had destroyed everything Emma loved. Since then she had closed herself off from the world. Forbidding herself to love, because it had only caused her pain. Now she found herself growing attached to the crew, William, and especially Hook.
Mr. Jameson had been right, she did fancy Hook. Emma hadn't wanted to admit it, or believe that Hook could feel the same way. Regardless of the facts that had been laid before her. Hook was ever determined to win her over. Albeit begrudgingly at first, Emma believed that she was safe with him, and that he would do anything to protect her.
Looking up at him, cautiously lifting her hand, she brushed some of his hair away from his face. Hook looked much more innocent when he was sleeping. His face seemed younger, and less tainted by sadness. She briefly wondered what he looked like clean shaven, without his uniform of black and leather. Emma tried to picture it, but decided that she preferred the current version of Hook more.
The version that cared for her, she thought to herself. Emma carefully traced her fingers across the scruff of his beard. It was easier to ignore it when it was just Hook flirting with her, or Mr. Jameson dropping hints that he was attracted to her. Hearing him say it last night, had made it real somehow. It was as if a dam had broken inside her. The resistance she had built up against him was gone.
Emma's thoughts were interrupted when Hook shifted again. This time moving so that he was laying on his back, dragging Emma along with him. Carefully she readjusted to the new position, and laid her head on his chest. She decided she wouldn't move again until he woke up. Closing her eyes, Emma listened to his steady breathing and heartbeat, almost drifting back off to sleep.
She barely noticed the change in Hook's breathing as he woke up. He didn't seem to mind waking up to her curled up against him. In fact, he held her closer to him. Emma felt him trace patterns up and down her arm. She tried in vain to pretend like she was still asleep and unaffected, but her body betrayed her with an involuntary shiver. Emma thought to herself that she liked him touching her just a little too much.
Hook paused, pulling the blankets higher around her, incorrectly thinking her shiver was from the cold. Emma felt his fingertips gently brush a strand of hair away from her face. She wondered what he was thinking about, as his fingertips started to graze paths across her arm once more.
"I know you're awake." He said quietly after a while.
Emma felt herself blush, "How did you know?"
"Because usually you make little noises in your sleep when I'm touching you." He replied smoothly.
"What kind of noises?" She asked defensively, leaning up.
Hook smiled at her, that kind of grin that meant trouble for her heartbeat, "Sounds that lead me to believe you enjoy being touched by a certain pirate, love." She rolled her eyes at him, and smacked him with a pillow. He laughed, stretching as he left the bed, and started getting dressed. Not caring if she watched him.
"I've been meaning to ask you. Where exactly are we going, Captain?" Emma asked as she sat up from her place in bed. They hadn't bothered to discuss it previously, it wasn't as if she had a particular place in mind when she was leaving Sherwood Forest. However, last night's close call made her curious.
Hook shrugged, "We were planning to make port not far from here. In the Maritime Kingdom, I believe you're familiar with it. You told the story of their Queen the other night."
"How far away are we?" Emma asked.
"Well, we should have been there tomorrow. However, because of last night's events, I'd say we are probably another day away. We wanted to make the Queen's ship think we've decided to skip making port for now." He paused for a moment, "Why? Are you anxious to return to land after last night? Have you made your decision in regards to my offer?"
"I wouldn't say I'm anxious to return to land. I was just curious." Emma shrugged.
"And my offer?" He prodded.
Emma played with hem of the blanket, unable to meet his eye, "I would like to stay, at least for a little while." Despite whatever feelings she may be having, Emma knew that she couldn't stay forever. Emma wondered if he would go with her, back to the Enchanted Forest, if she asked him to. Hook said his ship had a long standing feud with the Evil Queen. What if she could convince him to fight beside her? She wanted to trust him. It wasn't something Emma had considered until the events of last night.
"Why do you seem so unsure?" He asked seriously, pausing before putting on his other boot.
"It's not that I'm unsure. It's just that… I don't want to overstay my welcome." She said, uncertain.
"You won't." He said, looking her straight in the eye. Hook added more firmly, "I want you to stay, Emma."
Lately, Emma found it increasingly more difficult to make and keep eye contact with Hook. The first night on his ship, he had told her she was an open book to him. Every time their eyes connected, it was as if his blue eyes pierced right through her. She worried that he could somehow read what she was thinking. That he could tell that he was growing on her. Worse would be if he could tell she cared for him as well.
Looking away first, Emma rolled out of bed his bed. She opened the wardrobe and started looking through dresses, but hardly seemed to notice them. William knocked on the door a few moments later, bringing with him the arrival of breakfast. Emma donned the robe Hook had given her the night before, noting his smile out of the corner of her eye. William had glanced at both of them questioningly when entering the cabin. Hook watching her smiling, while she attempted to make herself more presentable by tying her hair back in a ribbon.
Emma couldn't tell at first what William was trying to gauge. He had been watching them both closely. It took her a moment to realize it herself. Since the night prior, there had been a noticeable shift in their dynamic. Emma tried to see herself and the Captain through WIlliam's eyes. Hook had just finished getting dressed, and was lounging in his usual chair at the table. She clearly had just gotten up, not even dressed for the day, simply wrapped in his robe. Yet, it all seemed very normal. Like it was natural for them to be getting ready together in the same room.
It hadn't occurred to her that they had both grown comfortable around each other. There was a feeling of domesticity, that had developed without her even noticing. Of course, every morning wasn't usually like this. Typically Hook was up much earlier, but she couldn't help thinking that she wouldn't mind spending her mornings with him.
William was still looking almost hopeful at the two of them. Setting down the tray, and placing the food on the table. Emma realized he must be hoping this would become a sort of tradition. She reflected on another part of her conversation with Mr. Jameson. That Hook had been behaving differently since her coming aboard. Emma wondered if William could see what the rest of the men apparently could. Judging by the boy's grin, she imagined he was able to see things quite clearly.
Emma and William had joined Hook at the table. Starting in on her breakfast, Emma listened while Hook discussed what chores he expected William to do for the day. Allowing herself to get lost in thought, Emma's more sensible side wondered if she should reconsider their sleeping arrangements. It seemed improper, but acceptable to share his bed for a few nights. Staying indefinitely was an entirely different story, especially given that he admitted to caring for her.
Instead of heeding her more noble self, she quickly quieted these thoughts. For once she would be selfish, and allow herself to have what she wanted. Every night she had spent with him on the ship, Emma has slept soundly for the first time in years. Emma hadn't woken up in the night, terrified by something she heard. Or convinced that the Evil Queen knew she was still alive, still hunting her down. Running meant never being able to sleep through the night.
Even after last night's incident, Hook had made her feel calm enough to fall back asleep. Something she would never have been able to manage previously. Mr. Jameson's words were ringing in her ears, 'Even when you have the world on your shoulders. Having someone to share the burden with can make a difference.'
She had felt relief after telling Hook about running from the Evil Queen. He hadn't judged her or called her a coward, though she thought she might deserve it. He was nothing but kind to Emma, and offered her his protection. She realized how fortunate she was that Hook had been the pirate captain that attacked the merchant ship. Emma was sure that others would not have been so generous or caring.
She was brought back to the conversation when William started to bemoan having to do a particular task. Hook allowed him to complain for a moment. He'd just laugh and tell the boy life was full of things none of us wanted to do. "Isn't that right, Miss Swan?" He asked, looking to her for assistance.
Emma agreed, "Begrudgingly I have to admit that the Captain is right, William."
The boy pouted, looking dejected. She was about to slip some of her food to William, when Hook offered the boy something from his own plate. She smiled while she watched them eat together. Hook ruffed up the boy's hair playfully, and told William that he had better get started. Emma thanked him for bringing her breakfast, slipping him a piece of her bacon, as he retreated from the room. Disappointed he couldn't stay longer, but pleased with the extra food he had scored.
Quietly they both finished their breakfast. "I don't suppose you have any recommendations?" Emma asked hopefully, waving a hand towards the wardrobe. She didn't particularly feel like choosing something this morning.
She watched Hook stand up, and cross over to the wardrobe. He seemed to take his time examining each one before deciding upon a dress that was a deep red, made of a lighter fabric than the cotton she had been wearing. "I think this one will do just fine." Hook said as he laid it out on the bed for her.
"Thank you for your assistance, Captain." Emma smiled. He seemed slightly flustered by her response, replying that it was no trouble at all. He excused himself, saying he had to check on the crew.
She watched him leave, and stared at the closed door of the cabin. It was like some of the light had left the room, after he had left. Sighing, Emma finally started to dress for the day. Slipping out of Hook's robe and nightgown, she dressed herself in the red dress he had supplied. Working on her hair next, she took her time brushing it out. Allowing herself to daydream that she was still in bed, laying in the Captain's arms. She thought of his fingertips grazing her arm and shivered.
Determined to focus on her task, she carefully braided her hair back. Wrapping it like a crown around her head, Emma deemed herself presentable. Grabbing her journal, she left the comfort of the cabin for the deck of the ship. Occasionally smiling and nodded at a few of the men as she passed them, wishing them all a good morning.
This morning she sat on the top of the steps that lead to the helm. She had determined it the best place for her to sit out of the way. From there she could hold a conversation with Mr. Jameson, who typically manned the helm. Plus, she could still watch the deck below as Hook gave orders. Emma opened her journal and started to write down the events from the night prior.
By mid-morning, Emma had finished recounting everything in her journal. She flipped through her most recent entries. From escaping Sherwood forest, to being thrown in the brig, to Hook and his crew attacking the vessel and giving Emma her freedom. Noticing that each day that her commentary on Hook had slowly changed from annoyance to a slight admiration. Even in her writings, she hadn't fully addressed her feelings for the Captain. She had been avoiding it as much as possible until now.
Closing her journal, she noticed William had apparently finished his morning duties early. He was following Hook around the deck. They were having an animated discussion. William looked as though he was attempting to convince Hook of something. She could hear from the tone of his voice that he was begging. Hook looked defeated, and seemed to agree to the boy's pleas. Which culminating into the young boy running off with a look of glee in his eyes. Hook made his way towards her, looking as though she was going to give him as much trouble.
Leaning against the rail at the bottom of the steps, Hook rubbed his temples with one hand. Looking up at her, he said, "William has convinced me to give him lessons this morning. You wanted a chance to prove yourself, correct? Unless the events of last night have changed your mind?"
"I still would prefer to avoid standoffs with the Evil Queen and her men, but I would be willing to fight otherwise." Emma replied evenly, collecting her things.
"Well then, Miss Swan. It looks like you're going to get your chance." He grinned up at her.
Emma replied impatiently, "Well, it's about time."
Hook ignored her comment, "I suppose you'll want to change out of that dress." He sighed dramatically, "I'll admit I'll be slightly disappointed."
Emma stood, intending to do just that. With a smirk she replied, "Life is full of disappointments. I'm sure you'll manage, Captain."
He laughed, "I suppose I'll have to."