37.

Thirty-seven knives was the maximum that would fit into a standard Noxian dartboard. Katarina DuCouteau stared at her work on the wall and felt her mouth sag into a frown.

How did she even know that?

The truth was, this was not the first dartboard Kat had filled with knives. Nor the first with darts, shuriken, or even forks at one point, after a particularly awful dinner. In fact, it had become her usual leisure-time activity.

And she absolutely hated it.

Katarina was born into combat and bloodshed. Her entire life had been spent either on the job or waiting for it. Nothing pleased her more than the death of a mark, and the rush of escaping, blood soaked and proud. But this was now impossible. A distant fantasy, locked away in a world where Jarvan IV was still a prestigious target, not the guy who accidentally poked a hole in her drywall. This was torment.

So she wouldn't stand for it. She had spent most of her time locked away in her chambers, and she would keep it that way. There was nothing interesting going on out there anyway.

This was why the knock at her door was such a surprise. Slowly climbing out of bed, sluggishly walking to the door, she put her ear up to the wood. "Yeah?"

"We need to talk, Katarina." The raspy voice was easy enough to recognize.

"Swain, sorry, but I'm not in the mood."

"You're never in the mood."

"Accurate. Go away."

"If you do not open this door, I will break it down!"

The assassin laughed. "With what, your cane?"

A horrific squawk from outside sounded from the crack beneath the door. A three pronged talon smashed through the wood and twisted the doorknob, opening it to reveal a rather raven-esque Swain.

Katarina groaned. "I always forget you can do that."

"SUCH ARE THE WILES OF A MASTER TACTICIAN" The massive raven slowly shifted back into the Grand General, who pushed his way past Katarina and into the room, his pet flitting around his shoulder. With a frown, he looked her over.

"You look awful."

Katarina shrugged. "Eh. Why bother combing your hair if you can't watch it swish around while you spin in a circle, tossing knives at people?"

Swain gave her a blank stare. "I'm pretty sure that reasoning applies literally only to you. Sit down, we need to talk."

Reluctantly, she did as he asked, sitting across from the mage at the table in the corner of her room.

"So, as the Grand General of Noxus…"

Katarina scoffed. "Noxus is gone, Swain. What's that even mean?"

Splaying his hands, Swain continued. "It means, Katarina, that I have to make sure our ideals live on. And what do we desire?"

"Strength, at any cost."

"Exactly! And if we cannot do that through military means, we will gain influence in the most effective way possible in this new world!"

There was a pause as Katarina waited for Swain to get to the point.

The mage cackled. "We will show them the strength...of our personalities!"

Slowly, Katarina lowered her head back into her folded arms. "You've lost it. I've lost it. I hate everything."

Beatrice began to peck at her earlobe as Swain continued. "I know it sounds silly, but look, it works. Draven's teaching people to juggle. Darius runs a basketball league every Tuesday. We've got one LeBlanc doing a magic show while the clone LeBlanc handles ticket taking, we are putting our assets to use! We're gaining INFLUENCE, Katarina. And that is what strength is!"

She remained unconvinced. "I remain unconvinced."

"Even Talon is helping."

Katarina's head tilted slightly upwards. "Talon? Seriously? How'd you convince him?"

"He's actually a fantastic dancer. Surprised you didn't know that." Swain leaned in closer. "But there's one outlier. Someone's not pulling her weight here!"

Sighing, Katarina sat upright again, startling the raven. "What would you want me to do?"

Swain nodded. "That's the spirit! Do you have any talents?"

Katarina shrugged. "Assassination."

"Any talents that don't involve...violence?"

Groaning again, Katarina's head began to submerge back into its forearm cradle. "Of course not.", she mumbled, "Violence solves everything!"

To her surprise, and annoyance, Swain slapped the table with a palm. "That's it! People have problems, and you have a solution! I've got your new job! Motivator!"

Katarina leaned back in her chair. "You have to be kidding me."

Swain chuckled. "Oh, it'll take work. We've got to retool your message, your image...but let's face it, this place is in dire need of someone to kick up the enthusiasm. And I'm sure you've got that! Somewhere. Deep inside. Very deep, but it's there." He stood from his chair and grinned. "Get to work on it, now!"

Preparing another protest, Katarina tried to stand and face him again, but her legs felt cemented to the chair. "Dammit, Swain, Nevermove is the cheapest shit!"

Cackling, Swain started to leave, but Katarina spoke up once more.

"Wait, I have one more question for you. Answer it and I'll do this."

Turning back, the Noxians' eyes locked. "Ask away, Miss DuCouteau."

Katarina swallowed, staring the Grand General down. "Did you kill my father?"

Swain took a moment and shrugged. "I'm...not sure."

"What? You aren't SURE?" Katarina was furious.

"Look, nobody made it clear to me, I'm pretty sure it's heavily IMPLIED that I did it, but…" Swain turned to face you, the reader. "If you want to hear that story, you should read End Of An Era: Unholy Alliance! Over 30 chapters featuring your favorite champions! Wow!"

"Wow!" Katarina turned to stare at the reader as well. "Am I in End Of An Era: Unholy Alliance?"

"You sure are! And it's only a few clicks away!"

Suddenly, as soon as the sudden wave of shameless advertising had come, it passed.

Swain shivered. "What in the world WAS that?"

With a frown, Katarina shrugged. "I'm not sure, but it felt...pathetic. Like, really sad."

To avoid any more awkward advertisements, Swain made for the exit. "I expect results, Katarina!" He opened it and left, in human form, this time. Katarina could feel a knot in her stomach as she looked at the door to her room.

Great. She was going to have to fix that too.

Suddenly, Azir poked his head through as well. "ALSO PLEASE READ SHIFTING S-"

Katarina went back to bed.

The next morning, she felt a fire in her gut. Sure, this was idiotic, and normally, would be a complete waste of her time. However, Swain was correct, and circumstances had changed. That, and she had never once backed down from a challenge, and didn't plan on starting today. It was this level of determination that drew her to find an old t-shirt and write the most inspiring word she could think of across the stomach.

"good."

She couldn't help but grin as she looked at herself in the mirror. Yes, the sheer power of that motivational shirt would be enough. But "enough" was insufficient. She had to excel. To that end, Kat would have to seek out some help.

As she strolled through the halls of the Institute, Katarina went out of her way to wave and beam at everyone she passed. Most of them regarded these actions with pure terror, likely due to how overwhelmed they were by her motivational power. As she reached the lobby, she noticed Caitlyn in the corner, a coffee mug planted firmly in the Sheriff's hand.

"Hey there, Cait!" Katarina forced herself to nearly skip to the sharpshooter's seat, which was much harder than it looked.

"Good morning, Katarina." Caitlyn's tone was rather dull, as usual, and she raised an eyebrow as Kat sat down.

"What's up?"

Caitlyn lazily pointed a finger at Katarina's stomach. "So….what's…"good."?

Straining every facial muscle she had to smile, Katarina reached across the gap between them and placed a hand on each of Caitlyn's shoulders, nodding violently as she gazed into her eyes. "It's you, Caitlyn. You're "good.". We are all, truly, so very "good.".

With that, Katarina rose and dashed away, leaving Caitlyn slightly trembling in her seat. She hadn't seen a facial expression like that since they'd apprehended the 6th Street Serial Slicer. Her job had prepared her for a lot. But not that. She would spend the rest of the day motionless, contemplating that horrific mental image.

Katarina, on the other hand, had finally reached her destination. It was a door no one in the Institute approached without good reason, and even the Sinister Blade had to admit, her heart was pumping a little faster than usual. She walked to the end of the hall, curled her fist, and knocked twice on the door.

There was no answer.

Frowning slightly, she knocked once more.

Still nothing. But there was no way he wasn't in there. Someone would have seen him leave. Suddenly, it all clicked in her head, and she groaned.

Katarina knocked for a fourth time.

"Greetings!"

With an unnecessary amount of flair, Khada Jhin wrenched open his door, posing with arms outstretched, facing the hallway.

"Morning, Jhin." She didn't feel very comfortable around the masked artist. She supposed nobody really did.

Jhin chuckled. "Katarina! What brings you here?" His cheery demeanor seemed to chip away the longer he spoke. "I doubt you'd just...interrupt my work without justification...would you?"

Katarina strained her face into some horrific approximation of a smile. "The OLD Katarina might do that. She also might carve a hole in your dumb mask. But the NEW Katarina is "good.". And she also needs your help with something."

The heels of Jhin's boots clacked as he sauntered backwards, letting Katarina past and into his room. She entered and tepidly looked around. Jhin's room was...strange. The walls were covered in murals, likely done by the Virtuoso himself, but none of his usual subject matter of bodies and blood was on display. Instead, there was an inordinate amount of fruit. Oranges and apples painted in massive stacks, flanked by lines of melons and grapes, with the occasional strawberry. Apparently noticing her confusion, Jhin spoke up.

"It's my new phase. I call it the "Produce Period"."

"It's...uh…"good." I think it really fits that idea….great...job." Every word was a bit of a struggle.

Jhin simply chuckled, reaching into his pocket. "No, Katarina…" The mad killer took a step forward, and Katarina took one back. She felt the familiar sensation of a flower trap locking her legs in place. Horror flashed across her face as Jhin revealed a weapon. A can of spray paint.

She winced as Jhin deftly wielded his tool, firing off four salvos from the nozzle of the can. When she opened her eyes, she quickly saw red on her upper stomach. Usually he'd hit the head...bad aim? Not that he could kill her anyway...

From a cabinet nearby, Jhin retrieved a hand mirror and held it up to the Noxian. She could now see that Jhin had expertly painted, with a can, somehow, an addition to her shirt.

"VERY good." Jhin whispered. "You need ADJECTIVES, Katarina! No art exists without EMBELLISHMENT!"

He fired an additional burst of crimson paint into the air as Katarina watched the artist celebrate. She had to admit, the "VERY" wasn't something she'd thought of. Maybe that was more classy?

"This is...fantastic, Jhin. Thanks. There was something else, though…" She leaned against one of the walls. Oddly enough, it felt less awkward in the room now. Perhaps she had gotten used to it, or maybe it was just the paint fumes. "I need to advertise."

"Oh?" Jhin cocked his head, scratching his chin. "And what makes you think I would know how to do that?"

"Well, you made quite a name for yourself back in Ionia. Mostly with...what you left behind."

He gave a cold chuckle. "You mean...corpses, Katarina? Regrettably for the both of us, not only is that not possible, given the circumstances, I don't think it would fit your style here."

She returned a crooked grin. "C'mon. You're a genius, aren't you? You can think of something. Or am I overestimating your creativity?"

Jhin's body clenched, his fist shaking slightly. "You insult me. Luckily for you…" In a single, fluid motion, Jhin pulled a chair out from under his bed and sat down, his other arm grabbing an easel from the wall. "Anger is a fantastic motivator for art." Jhin began to paint.

Within an hour, the mad artist had finished his work. Curling the work into a tube, he handed Katarina the finished painting, which had already dried because I said so. "Treat it well, Sinister Blade. This...is my SOUL!"

Katarina beamed. "I'll remember that, Jhin. Thank you."

She left to put her poster up in the main hall, eagerly anticipating the results.

"Ha! Look at that, Beatrice. His soul sucks."

Swain was cackling. An embarassed Katarina stood in front of Jhin's latest work. It was a detailed painting of...herself, holding onto a tree branch. In gaudy, pink letters, the message "HANG IN THERE!" was scrawled across the bottom. She smiled through the pain as a large amount of champions gathered to look at the strange addition to their decor.

"What...what is it?" asked Xin Zhao, his arms folded.

"It's...me." Katarina mumbled. "I'm being...inspiring! Like, I'm...holding on, despite...something?"

"It's a terribly dated reference to those posters with the cats, and her name is "Kat" so it's a terrible pun." Sona explained. Or, at least she would have explained, if her vocal cords worked.

"And what's with your shirt?" yelled Ashe.

"IT'S VERY GOOD!"

Ezreal scoffed. "That doesn't mean anything. Good at what? I don't think you're good at anything, except being an asshole, and-"

This was it. It had been a long day. Katarina had dealt with spending far too long in the company of Khada Jhin, being pushed around by Swain, and wearing a ridiculous shirt that really, totally, didn't mean anything. Something inside of her, a useful tool in her line of work, snapped.

In a rage, Katarina leapt forward and jammed a dagger into Ezreal. The explorer let out a terrified scream before collapsing to the floor, dead. There were myriad gasps and screams, followed by weapons being drawn, until everyone remembered the situation they were in when Ezreal returned from thin air a few moments later, embarrassed, but none the worse for wear.

"It's. Very. Good. Do you have any other questions?" Katarina's voice was laced with spite and venom.

"No. I'm...I'm good." Ezreal slowly backed up, and Katarina addressed the crowd.

"What I mean to say here today, everyone, is that no matter what happens, life can be difficult. That's why you remember one, very important thing." She threw her head back and cackled. "Violence solves EVERYTHING!"

In the back of the room, Swain sighed. "Well, this accomplished literally nothing. Maybe that new Yordle guy has a talent I can exploit…"