Getting married

"So, Chandler, how was your date?"

Chandler startles up. He didn't know Monica is still awake. When he came back he really craved beer and of course Joey emptied all of theirs so he decided to have a look in Monica's fridge. He didn't expect her to be sitting on her couch.

"Aren't you asleep yet?" Chandler asks.

"I can't sleep. Rachel's stupid new clock keeps me awake."

"The clock keeps you awake?"

"Yes, the Barbie is making a little dance every hour. It's not that loud but somehow it's loud enough for me to not fall asleep." Monica rolls her eyes. "Why did I let her keep it?" She buries her face in her hands.

"Because you are a great woman!" Chandler says as he plops down on the couch next to her. He gives her one of the bottles he got out of the fridge and takes a sip out of the other.

"Speaking of a great woman. How was Alison?"

"Do you think Rachel will throw that clock out eventually?"

"Hey, Chandler! Are you trying to change the subject?" Monica asks and nudges his shoulders with her.

Chandler sighs. "I should have known that that doesn't work with you."

"What's wrong, Chandler?"

"I … I couldn't do it. I'm going to buy a snake tomorrow."

"No, please don't buy a snake, Chandler. I still want to be able to visit you and I won't do that with a snake in your apartment."

"You're a great friend, Mon," Chandler says sarcastically.

"What couldn't you do, Chandler? Come on, tell me!"

Chandler sighs. He has to tell her now. It's not possible to change the subject when you are talking to Monica. She always recognizes that.

"Her head was huge. I couldn't do it. I told her that we will never work out."

"Oh no, Chandler!"

"I know, I'm horrible. But … it's not possible. All I could think of was her big head. I'm horrible. I'm even worse than Mr. Heckles."

"How are you worse than Heckles?"

"Mon, you are my friend, right?"

"Yes," she nods, not knowing what he wants to tell her with that question.

"Joey promised me that I can watch the Superbowl with him when all of you are married and I'm sitting in my apartment, but … can … you … can I … is it …"

"You can come over for the holidays," Monica promises, now knowing exactly what he wants to ask.

"I mean … only if your future husband doesn't mind."

"Chandler, if my future husband doesn't like me hanging out with you, he won't be my future husband, okay?"

"Thank you." Chandler seems relieved. Monica didn't know this thing is bugging him that much.

"Well, I can't celebrate Thanksgiving without my favorite Thanksgiving hater," Monica smiles. "Who can I make mac and cheese for if you're not there?"

Chandler knows that she is trying to cheer him up and it works a little bit. There is just something about Monica. It doesn't matter how down he is and what kind of weird thoughts are running through his mind, she is always able to make him feel better.

"It's a relief to hear that I'm not alone on the holidays at least," Chandler smiles.

"Chandler," Monica pats his shoulder. "You are not gonna end up alone. You'll find your girl."

"I'm not sure about that, Mon. I mean, I'm not even sure if there is a girl perfect enough so that I don't find anything weird about her."

"Hey, you have known Rachel, Phoebe and me for a long time now and you still like us, right?"

"Of course," Chandler nods.

"Alright. And do you think there's anything wrong with us?"

"Well …"

"Don't say anything!" Monica interrupts him and laughs. "That was a rhetorical question!"

Chandler laughs as well. "That's not the same though. You are my friends, I'm not going to marry anyone of you."

"I hope you didn't mean that," Monica smiles.

"What?"

"Did you forget what you promised me?"

"Promise you what?"

"You want to marry me when we are forty and neither of us is married."

"Why wouldn't you be married when you're forty?" Chandler laughs, repeating the sentence she said to him when he suggested the pact. He wasn't joking back then and it hurt him a little bit that she thought he was.

"Are you saying you don't stand to your promise?"

"I'm not saying that! I … I just don't think you'll need it. Every guy will be lucky to have you!"

"Well, apparently, no guy has noticed that yet, Chandler. It could happen. You can already prepare yourself to marry me."

"Good god, you are gonna want the perfect wedding, right?"

Monica nods and smiles. "Of course! I want flowers and the perfect dress. Oh my god, can you imagine me walking down the aisle in that beautiful long, white dress. My friends and family sitting to the right and the left, all smiling and happy. And in the front, there he is, looking at me like I'm the only girl in the world: my prince, my soulmate. Or … well, you know, just my friend Chandler." Chandler cringes. Monica laughs. Actually, the thought of marrying Chandler isn't even that bad. At least they feel completely comfortable around each other. A life with Chandler by her side won't be the worst.

"I'm pretty sure you're going to have this wedding, Monica. With your prince and soulmate, of course, not me!"

"I don't know," Monica sighs. Her plan was to cheer Chandler up, but he somehow managed to bring her down with him.

"You are going to be fine, Mon," Chandler whispers and pulls her into his arms.

"You too, Chandler, you too!"

They fall into silence and each have their own thoughts. Suddenly Rachel's clock does her dance again. Monica and Chandler startle up.

"It's horrible," Chandler laughs.

"God, throw this thing away," Rachel yells, running out of her room. She has her pyjamas on and her hair is all messy. Mumbling to herself she gets the clock and tosses it into the trash. "It's driving me crazy," she shouts and goes back to her room again. Monica doesn't know if she even noticed them.

"Wow, lucky you!" Chandler grins. "Now you don't have to think of a way to get rid of this horrible thing."

"Yeah," Monica mumbles.

"Did you know that Phoebe also asked me to have a pact?" Chandler asks out of the blue. He senses that Monica is worrying about something and wants to try to cheer her up.

"What?" Monica sits up straight and looks at him.

"She asked me a few weeks ago."

"What did she ask you?" Monica doesn't know yet if she understood him correctly.

"She asked me to be her back-up."

"Phoebe wants to marry you?" Monica's jaw drops. She can't believe what she is hearing. Phoebe asked Chandler to be her back-up? How is that even possible?

Chandler nods. "She suggested that we should get together when we are both forty and single."

"She can't do that." Monica won't let her do that. Phoebe doesn't even like Chandler that much. Monica always thought that Phoebe finds Chandler annoying. So why does she want to marry him? Why does Phoebe want to marry anyone anyway? She is not the girl who wants to get married urgently. She's not Monica. Monica is the one who always knew that she wants to get married one day. And besides, she is the one closest to Chandler. If anyone should have Chandler as her back-up it should be …

"Why not?" Chandler's question interrupts Monica's thoughts.

"Well, first of all because you … she … it's just not … she can't …"

"Monica, are you jealous?" Chandler smirks. He just wanted to cheer her up by telling her something funny. Because Phoebe asking him to be her back-up is definitely funny. He hadn't expected it at all. Not from Phoebe. But Monica is taking that thing way more serious than he thought.

"Noo! It's just not fair. You are both older than me. So by the time I'm gonna be forty you two will already be married and I have no one." Monica can't look at him right now, so she watches her fingers.

"Is that the problem? That you feel left out?" Chandler asks.

"No, but it's just … Phoebe should know that you are not … that you are … that I'm the one who should get to marry you," she mumbles quietly that Chandler doesn't even understand her proberly.

Chandler smiles. He didn't know how great a jealous Monica feels like. He pulls her close. "Don't worry, Mon, we'll play a trick on Phoebe," he whispers and gives her a quick peck on the cheek. "I'm gonna marry you way before we're forty, alright?"