Apov

"No!" I scream. I'm not sure if it was a nightmare or a memory but it woke me up nonetheless.

My heart is nearly beating out of my chest, and my hair is sticking to my forehead with sweat. I rub my face with my hands and move my hair off my face as I sit up.

After getting a glass of water and calming myself down, I return to my bed since it's too early to be awake and I'm still tired. Knowing I wont get any rest, though, I don't even attempt going back to sleep. These nightmares are getting worse, with no end in sight. I'm always afraid that my nightmare is real, that I never left, that I didn't make it out alive, that he found me.

Shaking off the bad vibe the dream gave me, I lay back and think about my plans for the next two days.

Since it's the start of my days off, I get two, I would stay in bed all day. Usually I end up going to the restaurant at some point during my days off to see if anyone needs me to cover a shift for them, but I'm seriously lacking in the sleep department. It's been months, years I think, since I had a peaceful night. However, I would just have more nightmares, not getting any rest at all, and I have to watch Teddy today for Christian. I'm so excited to watch him.

I was going to shop today, but I'll have to put off going to the store until tomorrow. I'm in serious need of groceries. It's been awhile since I bought myself something, maybe I'll grab a notebook while I'm there. I've been wanting to write, reading gives me and escape, but I always thought about writing.

Just thinking about it makes me want to start now but I don't have anything to write on so I'll read now instead.

Since it's still dark out, I turn on the little lamp near my bed and grab my book. One of two that I brought with me. I've gone to the library a few times to read others, but this one is my favorite and I need something comforting right now after just having a bad dream.

If only I could really disappear into these pages.

...

Halfway through, I mark the page I'm on, and get up to start my day. It's almost time to meet Christian and Teddy so I can't lay in bed and read all day, and I am getting hungry.

It's warm out, and in my cottage, so I opt for shorts and a light T-shirt. I'm only babysitting, no need to dress fancy, right?

Once I'm showered and dressed, my hair in it's usual messy bun, I walk outside to my front porch. I still have a while until I need to meet Christian so I sit on my porch steps and enjoy the fresh air. It's so nice here, more so than any place I've ever been. And even though this small cottage is all I can afford, and I have no neighbors, I feel like I'm home.

Thinking of neighbors, I'm reminded of mine from Detroit who helped me get away. I promised I would call once I was safe but I haven't felt safe until I ended up here. Maybe I'll stop running for awhile and just live... I'll need to call them, but I don't have a phone. Christian said he'd pick me up at the restaurant, per my request, I'll go there now so I can have lunch and call my only friends I left behind.

I lock up what little I have and begin my walk to the restaurant.

Along the way, I can't stop thinking about my life. Past; how much pain and hurt I've been through in my life. Present; how I'm currently living, always looking over my shoulder and waiting for the other shoe to drop. And future; if I have one. Once you've been hurt, it's kind of hard to get attached to someone again. Perhaps I'm distend to always be alone. No one can hurt you if you're alone.

The twenty minute walk was nice but it's warmer today than usually with summer on it's way.

When I arrive, I'm greeted by Emily, the hostess on duty today. I let her know I'm not working today and I'm just a costumer looking for a meal.

She sits me in the back section I requested and gives me a menu. I don't need the menu, I can't afford much so I get up and go back to the kitchen. We get free meals while on duty, but if we're not working we get a discount.

Entering the kitchen, I see Gail is not here today but thankfully Ryan isn't either. Gail must have plans like Christian's family because sometimes I notice she watches Teddy for him. It must be why he asked me, everyone who normally watches Teddy is unavailable today. I don't mind, I love the little guy.

"Hey, Kennedy." I greet the cook on duty.

"Ana," She waves her spatula at me. "You workin' today?"

"No, I'm off. I just came in for lunch." I look through the window separating the kitchen from the seating area and point out the table where I'm sitting.

"Sure, what do you want? I'll fix it right now."

"Just a turkey sandwich, I'll ring it in."

"Anything else?"

"Nope," I can't afford anything else, I need to save all the money I can. "just the sandwich."

"Toasted, right?"

"You know it."

I smile at her then grab the phone before I go to the register.

I've ate here many times before and Mia always insisted that I can either be served or put in my order myself. It's faster and easier just to do it myself.

After I put in my order and pay for my sandwich, I go back to my table and wait.

"Hey, Ana," My co-worker and assigned waitress comes to my table. "Do you know what you want yet?"

"I already put my order in, thanks."

"Oh. Sorry, I was a bit busy." She blushes, glancing at a booth her boyfriend is sitting at. "Did you get a drink?"

"Water is fine."

"Sure, be right back."

After she leaves, I dial the number I memorized a long time ago. I never kept their number written down, I wouldn't want him to see it.

A few rings in, I get their answering machine so I leave a message.

"Hey, it's me." I don't know why, but I begin to shake. "I just wanted to let you know, I'm safe. I'm sorry it took this long to call, I could never find a place that I felt safe. But, I think I finally found a safe haven, thanks to you." I didn't realize I was crying until a tear fell down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away as I continue with my message. "Thank you again, I'll never be able to repay you for what the two of you did for me. I miss you. I'll try to call back another time but I don't have a phone-"

"Ana!" Teddy's squeal calls my attention.

I quickly hang up the phone and wipe my eyes, putting on a bright smile in front of the little boy who is running my way so he doesn't ask any questions.

"Teddy, hi!" I get out of the booth I'm sitting at and bend down to hug him. "What are you doing here so early?"

"We could ask you the same thing." Christian's deep, rich voice answers when he reaches us.

They're dressed similar in plaid shorts and a T-shirt. I'm a little surprised to see Christian dressed so casual, not that he doesn't dress this way often but because he said he has a business meeting in the city. I expected him to dress a little more... sophisticated, professional, anything but casual Friday attire. And since I'm still on my knees, I'm the perfect height to notice how tight his shirt is around the muscles I know are hiding underneath.

Gees, he must look like Adonis naked.

Ana!

"I- I came early to have lunch before we left." I say as I get off the floor before I look like an idiot.

I can't explain why I feel so nervous around him. Is it his looks? The way he seems to see straight through me? Whatever it is, he's very intimidating.

"Great minds think alike," Christian goes on to say as Teddy sits in the seat I was sitting in. "Mind if we join you?"

"Not at all." I don't see why not.

Teddy moves over so I can sit next to him in the booth and Christian sits across from us. I try to avoid his gaze because he keeps looking at me, almost to the point of blatant staring. I almost want to run to the bathroom to make sure I don't have anything on my face. Instead, I discreetly wipe my eyes again.

"Are you okay?" He finally asks.

"Yes. Fine." I smile and help Teddy with his menu, which happens to be mine that I didn't use. It's then that I notice the phone is on. I thought I turned it off? Maybe Teddy was messing with it. I click it off and then put it by me, planning to return it before we leave.

The waitress returns with my water and my sandwich, then she takes their order.

Deciding to wait until their food is here, I continue to talk with Teddy about all the letters he knows, pointing them out on the menu we still have when we find one. Just being near Teddy calms me and I really need that right now. After my nightmare and the phone call, even though it was only their voicemail, my past is really biting me today.

Thankfully Christian doesn't say anything more, I know he saw that I was upset and probably my tears, but now he's quiet.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

Okay, not so quiet.

"I'm going to wait for you, I wouldn't want to be rude."

"You don't have to do that. Is that all you're going to eat?" He sounds almost as if he's scolding me. He's never spoken to me like that so I'm a little surprised and taken back by his tone.

"I'm not that hungry, I had a big breakfast." I lie.

I didn't eat breakfast at all and this sandwich is all I can afford right now. I'm not even sure what I will have for dinner tonight because I was planning to grocery shop today instead of tomorrow. I don't have the luxury of big meals, even with my employee discount, because I have to save as much as I can. I know it's not much, but it's enough. Not to mention, while I'm working, meals are free so I do eat, just not nearly as often as I should. I have lost a lot of weight since I left.

It doesn't take long for their food to come out, and then we all begin to eat together.

"Why does your bread wook wike dat?" Teddy asks of my toasted sandwich.

"Because it's toasted, silly." I giggle. "Do you want to taste it?"

He nods still looking curiously at my sandwich so I hold it for him and he takes the biggest bite I've seen a four year old take. Granted I haven't seen many four year olds before him, but it's like a man's bite.

"Is crunchy wike toast." He tells me after he's finished chewing.

"Good, huh?"

He nods his head, looking at my sandwich like he wants more. I smile and give him half.

"Teddy, no, that's Ana's."

"It's okay," I assure Christian, but he still doesn't look happy about it. "I'm still a little full from earlier."

Okay, so I am a hungry, but I'm use to not having big meals by now. I know Christian feeds his son and Teddy isn't starving, but if he wants to try a toasted sandwich, he can have some of mine. It's not a big deal.

Teddy gives me some of his fries that he can't finish so it evens out.

Once we're all done eating, Christian pays for his and Teddy's meal, then we all walk out together. Teddy is holding my hand as we follow Christian to his car. It's a black Audi SUV.

Christian opens the rear door for Teddy so I help him in and buckle him into the car seat with a little help from Christian. I've never used a car seat before so this was my first time.

"Sit back here wif me, Ana." Teddy asks, and I'm grateful to be sitting in the back instead of the front.

I walk around and get into the back passenger side, and as I do, I get the feeling of Deja-vu. It's no longer warm, it's cold, freezing, snow falling like crazy, and I'm in the front seat with the old man who drove me to the bus station nearly four months earlier instead of the back with Teddy. While the outside is different, the inside looks almost exactly the same.

"You sure you're okay?" Christian brings me from my thoughts.

"I'm fine," I smile and shake the memories from my head as I fasten my seat belt.

I wish I didn't get their machine when I called, I want to hear their voices, I want them to know I'm safe and I want the comfort they brought me.

I'll try again in a few days.

Christian doesn't question it further and starts the long drive to Seattle. I've never been, but I'm excited to go. My friends told me all about the city and what it looked like when they visited before. Something about it being an emerald city. If only I could find the wizard of Oz while I'm there today. They've traveled all over and they told me all about each location they've been. My favorite being Paris.

It's a couple hours drive, but Teddy keeps me entertained... that is, until he falls asleep. I don't want Christian asking anymore questions, so I pretend to nap too.

...

I'm jarred awake for some reason. When I blink open my eyes, I didn't realize I had fallen asleep.

I look around and see I'm still in the back of Christian's SUV with Teddy right next to me, his little hand in mine. I wasn't holding his hand before, and I don't think I had a nightmare. Maybe I did and I don't remember?

Looking at Christian through the rearview mirror, I don't think I did because I'm sure he would look concerned.

Shit, I spoke too soon. He looks worried. Maybe I did and I just don't remember it?

"We're at GEH," He announces when he parks in an underground parking garage. C. GREY stamped on the cement wall in front of us.

"GEH?" I ask him.

"Grey Enterprises and Holdings," He tells me the name before he gets out and opens Teddy's door. "Ros has been bugging me to see him."

"He's sleeping." I say instead of asking who Ros is.

"He wakes as soon as I take him out." He insists. "Whether it be here or at Escala, he'll wake and wont go back to sleep."

My head is spinning with all these names. GEH, Escala, the C. GREY stamped on the VIP parking area of this mysterious building.

Christian unstraps his son and lifts him from the car. It's like Teddy has a burst of energy, he's wide awake. I wish I felt the same, I'm still tired.

"Come on, Ana!" Teddy calls to me, still in the SUV.

I don't know why I don't just use the other door, but I crawl over the car seat and get out the already open door.

Teddy grabs my hand, and Christian's too this time, and together we walk to the elevator.

Teddy happily calls the elevator by pushing the button.

When it arrives, we all enter. The elevator has a weird energy to it.

"20, Teddy." Christian says, "No other buttons."

Teddy pouts but hits the number 20.

"Teddy likes to hit every button, making the elevator open on every floor." Christian explains.

"It's fun." Teddy insists.

"Not when it makes me late."

I stay quiet and just smile at them. They're so cute.

Since 20 is the only number glowing, it doesn't take long for us to arrive at our destination.

We step off and follow Christian, who seems to suddenly transform into someone of authority. He's standing taller, striding through the hallways with purpose. Employees walking passed us even nod their head towards him, greet him by 'Mr. Grey' or rush off in the other direction as if scared of him.

I find myself curious.

I don't know what Christian does, or anyone in town really, just those who work at the restaurant. This place is really intimidating and everyone is dressed so nice and professionally, I know it's designer brands too and not something from Old Navy. I would feel out of place if Christian and Teddy weren't wearing shorts and a T-shirt like me.

But what does Christian do here? It's quite the drive from where he lives, and his name is permanently on the cement wall in the parking garage so he has to be someone important.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Grey." A secretary greets him like all the others, but this one has a lusty tone.

He just nods his head and continues walking.

We enter an office with a pretty red-haired woman sitting behind a huge desk on the phone.

"I'll call you back." She says to the caller when she sees Christian, and hangs up. "Well, are you coming back or what? Have enough of Mayberry yet because I could use a little help here."

"Hello to you too, Ros." He greets her. "I brought someone to see you."

Her eyes move to me and for some reason I blush. It's like she's checking me or something. When her eyes move slowly up and down my body, I realize it may be more than checking me out.

"Hello." She smiles at me.

"Hi." I squeak nervously.

"Ros," Christian comes to my rescue. "I was talking about Teddy."

"I know that." She waves Christian off, keeping her eyes on me. "But who is this?"

"This is Ana, she's watching Teddy while I'm here."

She keeps looking at me like she wants to eat me. And I think that literally. Is Ros gay? Surely that means she's not Teddy's mother, not to mention they look nothing alike.

Teddy!

I put my hand on his back since he's standing behind me, and gently push my buffer forward. Though he's reluctant to go.

"Teddy?" Ros grins at him, finally moving her gaze away from me. "Oh my, the last time I saw you, you were in diapers."

"I'm a big boy." Teddy demands, upset that anyone dare bring up him in diapers.

"Then I'm sure you'll want a present?"

"Yes, please."

Ros grabs a bag from behind her desk and hands it to Teddy. He pulls out a toy helicopter.

"Charwe Tango?" He asks excited.

Now occupied with the toy, I lose my buffer.

"I'm going to take them to Escala then I'll be back," Christian tells her. "The meeting is still in an hour, right?"

She confirms then hands him a manila envelope saying everything he needs to know is there.

"Daddy, can Ana and I go now?" Teddy asks when Christian starts to look it over.

"Sure," He agrees distractedly. "meet me at the SUV."

Teddy grabs my hand and together we find the elevators again. There are a lot of questioning looks as we make our way to the elevator now that Christian is no longer with us. And I find myself watching everyone of the as if they are some sort of inside spy, out to get me or turn me in. Thankfully the elevator arrives shorty after Teddy calls for it.

I can just imagine the water-cooled talk today.

Inside the elevator, Teddy pushes the P button and the doors close. I smile remembering Christian said Teddy likes to push all the buttons. He seemed like in a hurry to get up here but now that we're heading down to the car without him, I'm sure we have plenty of time to play.

"Ding. Ding." I mimic the sound of the bell at the restaurant and push 16 on the elevator keypad since we've already passed a few floors.

Teddy's whole face lights up and together we start pressing all the buttons until the whole panel is lite up.

Every time the doors open, Teddy and I make a silly face at whoever is on the other side. A few people are waiting to board but don't when they see us. They looked shocked and just before the doors close again, they start laughing.

Soon Teddy and I start dancing instead of making the faces. We're laughing and giggling, it's the most fun I've had... Ever, I think.

The doors open again one last time, coming to a stop at the parking garage. The elevator next to us chimes its arrival and Christian steps off.

"You left before me, what took you so-" And it clicks. He smiles, shaking his head knowing we played with the buttons.

Thankfully he's not upset. I thought we would have more time.

We load into the SUV again, I sit in back with Teddy and Christian laughs at something.

"What's funny, dad?"

"I was just thinking how Taylor must've felt."

"Who's Taylor?" I find myself asking.

"Gail's husband." Christian tells me as he pulls into Seattle traffic. "I'm sure you've seen him around." I nod and he continues, "He use to work for me, Gail too. She was my house-manager, and he was my driver and personal security. That's how they met. Now Gail works at my sister's restaurant and Taylor is the town's chef of police."

I make a mental note to stay far away from Gail's husband Taylor.

But now I'm even more curious about Christian. He had personal staff, he works here, or did... I'm not really sure if he still does, but he's attending a meeting so he must. However, I don't think it's a 9-5 job because it is a long drive to make everyday from where we are to Seattle. Even a personal driver wouldn't want to make that commute daily. What is it that he does?

I don't ask anymore questions though, I wouldn't want him to ask questions about my past in return.

It doesn't take long before he's pulling up to another tall building, driving up to a closed gate. He inputs a code and the garage door opens.

Once it's open, he drives around and parks next to a sports car. This time it has BAY 5: PENTHOUSE painted on the cement instead of his name.

Where are we now? Wherever we are, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore, or Mayberry as Ros said. Escala is what he called it.

Christian opens the back door for Teddy and I. After Teddy is unbuckled, I climb out, this time on my own side. Teddy grabs our hands again and together we walk to another elevator.

Just like at GEH, Teddy calls the elevator.

"Is it still my birfday, daddy?"

"Yes, son." Christian smiles.

"It's your birthday?!" I didn't know!

"The code to access my apartment here," Christian explains as he punches in a four digit number. "It's Teddy's birthday. 1004."

"October 4th?" I ask, almost in shock.

"That's my birfday," Teddy tells me excitedly. Visions of a party, gifts and cake are dancing around in his little mind, I'm sure. "Then I will be five." He holds his hand up showing all his fingers proudly.

"October 4th is my birthday too." I squeal without thinking.

"It is?!" Teddy's thrilled we share the same birthday. "How old will you be?"

"I'll be- Um. 22." I couldn't remember the age I was using, so I use my real age.

Christian looks at me suspiciously but before we can say anything more the elevator arrives.

When we step off, we enter a private foyer with only an empty table in the middle. It's bigger than my bedroom. Christian opens the door to the main area and I'm blown away by the view. It's the first thing I notice and looks amazing. The next thing I notice as I look around is that the apartment is big. Big is actually too small of a word.

Teddy takes off running, leaving Christian and I alone.

"You live here?" I ask amazed that anyone could afford such a place.

"Use to." Christian corrects me.

"Just you and Teddy?" I ask curiously, a subtle hint in wonder of Teddy's mother.

"Just me. I moved when I got Teddy, but we occasionally stay here when we're in the city."

"You lived here alone?" A mixture of feelings erupt. I can sympathize with him because I live alone, but this place is much bigger than my cottage.

He must've felt so lonely living here. And the words he uses, they confuse me. When he 'got' Teddy? I know Christian is Teddy's biological father, so what does 'when I got Teddy' mean? I choose not to ask.

"Here's the cellphone and some cash." He hands them to me along with the keys to his SUV. "I'm not sure how long the meeting will last but it will likely be after dinner. I'll just grab something near GEH and you can either go to the store or order take out. If you leave, the elevator code is 1004 to get back in. You can use the SUV since Teddy's seat is in there, I'll be taking a different car when I go."

I don't know how to drive, I don't even have my license. Not that I could get it now, it would leave a paper trail. If we go anywhere, we'll walk. I saw a store not too far away while Christian drove us here.

"I'm going to change then go to GEH, I'll leave you to it."

I nod.

He walks in the direction of what I presume is his old bedroom, leaving me alone in this great room.

"Oh, I almost forgot." He turns back around. "I don't want you two upstairs at all, it's being remodeled and I don't want you two to get hurt."

"Okay."

He continues to leave the room just as Teddy rushes passed him with his arms full of toys.

Teddy and I get settled in the sitting area, playing with his box of Legos he brought out.

It's not long before Christian returns wearing what looks like an expensive suit. It's grey, matching his eyes, crisp white shirt and thin black tie. He looks like he'd fit in at that GEH place now. Looking important, sophisticated... sexy. My eyes widen at the thought and I feel my cheeks heat.

"Be good for Ana, Ted." He ruffles his son's hair before turning his attention towards me. "I'll be back later and then we'll go back home. Call me if you two need anything, my number is already programed into the phone."

"We will." I assure him. "Don't worry, your son is safe with me."

After Christian leaves and we're alone, I turn to Teddy.

"Okay, Tedster. What do you want to do while your daddy is working?"

A mischievous grin spreads across his face with his plans before he tells me all the things he wants to do.