Apov
That night, after showering and changing into fresh clothes, grandma suggested I cut my hair so I wouldn't be easily recognized. I didn't want to, I loved my hair, but I was going to do whatever it took so I wouldn't be found. She knew I didn't want to cut or dye my hair so she brought me a blonde wig to wear. I've worn it every time I run from one town to the next, but once I'm in town, I take it off.
While I was in the shower, I guess grandpa went next door to knock some sense into Boyce, but he wouldn't answer the door. I didn't lock it so grandpa was able to go inside. I'm not sure what he did, but when he came back he said Boyce was still alive but he wouldn't be waking anytime soon. Nobody called help from him, I never expected them to and I surely wasn't going to do it.
They tired to convince me to stay, to call the police, to get a divorce and they would protect me from him, I could even live with them for however long I wanted. But I just wanted to get away from him, as far as I possibly could, so I had to go. I've called the police once in the past and they did nothing but cause me more problems, it didn't help that Boyce knows them all.
Boyce would hit me all the time. It was less frequent in the warmer months, but with it being cold outside and winter, he would get worse. I guess it was because I could easily hide the bruises with my clothing. But that night, the night I ran, he was beyond anything he's ever done before. I knew I couldn't wait three more days of that.
Grandpa drove me to the bus station and I haven't heard from them since. I've tried calling them but the one time I had the opportunity to call, because I don't have a phone, they didn't answer. I'll have to call again, I have to try again. Thankfully I left a message, so they know I'm somewhere safe, but I long to hear their voices and I miss their warm hugs. I wish I could see them again, I wish I could go back and visit them, but it's much too dangerous to ever return.
It's been four months since I've been running and I'm still frightened everyday that he's looking for me, that he's going to kill me if he ever finds me. It's why I keep moving, never really staying in one place for long, keeping to myself because I know if I make friends anywhere they wont always be there when I have to leave. I've already had to leave my saviors behind, I don't want to experience that again and again. I would be devastated.
I don't know how I saw my life being after I left, I just wanted to get away. I never really thought about how my life would turn out. Would I always be on the run from him? Would he always look for me? What if he finds another victim and I did nothing to stop him from doing this to someone else?
Being with Christian and Teddy, it's like I'm living again, like I've never lived before.
I've lost a lot of weight while running, today being the first time I've had a delicious home-cooked meal, besides what I made for Christian and Teddy in Seattle a couple weeks back. I wanted to ask for seconds, thirds, but I didn't want Christian questioning my unlady-like behavior. Nonetheless, it was delicious.
I've never told anyone anything about my experience with Boyce, not even my angels. They know, but they don't know the sordid details. Now Christian knows, he knows everything.
Cpov
"What is his name?" I want to ask, but I know I shouldn't. She doesn't need to be reminded of that bastard anymore than she already is, however, apparently, I've asked this question out loud instead of in my head because she answers with his name.
"Boyce." She leaves the last name out like I did with Hannah. I'm sure saying it leaves a nasty, bitter taste in her mouth because just hearing it does.
Boyce? What kind of fucking name is that?! Fucking Bastard is more like it. What kind of man puts his hands on a woman without her permission?! Fucking- FUCK! My thoughts are raging with anger. I want to hit something right fucking now, Boyce's balls as a punching bag to be exact.
She hasn't told me her maiden name, I don't know his last name, how the fuck am I going to find him and rip him to shreds if I can't even run a background check and find his ass?!
I want to do everything he's ever do to her to him and more. I want to beat him to a pulp, I want him dead. The only way to find out who he is, is through her and she's not going to want to talk about it.
"And where is he?" I try to ask calmly as to not upset her. There's no point in hiding the fact that I'm going to ask these questions, but I wont press my luck with her. She's already volunteered so much information that she didn't have to relive through. But I'm glad she opened up to me and revealed her past. Now I know why she's always so closed off, keeping to herself.
"Hopefully in Detroit where I left him." She answers my question.
Detroit? Fucking Detroit! I can't believe this shit. Detroit of all fucking places?! Does every scum on earth come from that shit hole city?!
"I was going to wait three more days until he left for a conference at some publishing house. He was going away on a business trip somewhere, he wouldn't tell me where, trying to get published. But that night, I just couldn't take it a second longer. It took me months to save up enough money to afford a bus ticket far enough away, that was torture enough."
I'm tempted to drive to Seattle, hop on the GEH jet, fly to Detroit, find this fucker and give him a taste of his own medicine. Visions of Ana scared and trying to run away so many times, only to be hunted down and found like some wild animal, until she finally got away. She's been gone for however long and she's still fucking scared that this piece of shit will fine her and finish the job. The haunted look as she recounted the story of how she finally got away is very unsettling, I never want to see that look again.
"Christian." Ana brings me from my thoughts before they can get out of control.
"Yeah, baby?" I call her by the pet name she admitted to like hearing from me. If I'm being honest, I like it too.
"You're scaring me."
"What?" No. "Why?"
"You're being very quiet and I can tell you're getting angry. I can just imagine what you must be thinking."
"No, baby, I'm not- Well, I was, but not with you." I kiss her head and hold her close in the most comforting way I possibly can.
"I didn't think you were upset with me," She corrects, "But like I said, I know what you must be thinking. I just don't want him to ever find me, I don't know what I would do if he did. It's why I keep moving around, not staying in one place for too long. It's also why I keep to myself, because if I get involved with anyone as a friend, I know it wont be long until I'll need to leave again. I've stayed here longer than any other place. Usually I only stay long enough to get enough money for another bus ticket to another city or town. I do jobs that pay in tips so I can earn cash if I have to leave unexpectedly. But I was tired of running so I thought I would finally settle down... who knows how long I'll be safe here though."
"Baby, listen to me." I tilt her chin up so she can the truth in my eyes. "You are safe here. You are safe with me. I will never let anything happen to you."
"If only it were that easy."
"Ana, it is that easy, trust me." Fuck, I know it's hard for her. "Trust me to take care of everything. I promise you, if you stay, there's no safer place in the world than right here with me."
"I really want to kiss you." She blurts out.
I'm stunned into silence by what she just admitted. I never expected her to say that, it came out of nowhere.
"What?" I breathe, dumbfounded, not sure she said it or if I did, maybe I thought it and it's just my imagination running wild again.
"I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. You're so sweet and kind and caring. You have a really big heart, Christian, and after knowing my past, you still want me here and are willing to protect me from the danger that still lurks in the darkness. I've never really had anyone care for me like that before in that way. You're making my head spin and I don't want it to stop. I want to kiss you. Unless, of course, you're just doing this as a friend type thing. Then I'd feel really stupid right about now."
"It's definitely not a friendly feeling, Ana, trust me." I smirk at her brain-to-mouth filter malfunction. Once she started, she just couldn't stop.
"I know we shouldn't, but I really want to."
"Why shouldn't we?"
"Because I'm married." She points out.
"No," I correct her. "Dakota is married, technically you are Anastasia Steele and Ana is not married."
"If you want to be technical, legally my name is really Dakota, not Ana, and I am married."
"Why don't you get a divorce?"
"Are you kidding?!" She says like it's the most ridiculous suggestion in the world.
"No, I'm completely serious."
"I'm not going back there to divorce him, it will be easier for him to find me. He's not going to just let me go."
"You don't have to go back there, and I told you, I wont let anything happen to you. My dad could help, he use to be a high powered attorney. We could talk to him about it. That is, if you're okay with my family knowing about everything."
"I'd rather just forget about that life." It's clear she's not comfortable exposing her secret. "I don't need to get a divorce, it's not like I'm ever going to get married again."
"You wont kiss me because you're married." I remind her with a pout. "Do you plan on living the rest of your life not kissing me?"
Not to mention sex. If she doesn't want to kiss me because she's married, I know damn well she wouldn't want to have sex because of it.
"I like you, Christian, I don't want to fight it anymore."
"Then kiss me." I all but beg.
She's hesitant at first, only looking at my mouth. I stay still, not wanting to startle her if I move and wanting her to lead the way. I almost don't think she's going to go through with it, but then she slowly leans forward, closing her eyes and places her lips gently on mine in a soft, sweet, chaste kiss.
I happily kiss her back, letting her set the slow pace. It's perfect, but I want more.
Staying in my position on the couch next to her, when she pulls away, I thrust my hand into her hair and hold her in place as my lips latch onto hers. I softly kiss each corner of her mouth, run my tongue along her lower lip before I playfully nip and tug at it for her to open her mouth for me. My tongue gently glides in, her mouth opening freely now, wanting more. When our tongue touch, it's like fireworks shoot off.
She moans as she willingly surrenders her tongue to mine.
Slowly, she wraps her arms around my neck. I continue to hold her jaw firmly in my hand and lead the kiss. She is at my mercy now, but in a good way.
Reluctantly I pull away, needing to catch the breath that she took away, her lips following mine until she can no longer reach me. I'm tempted to continue, still high from the kiss, but I know what will happen next if we continue. Kissing her felt so... right, so perfect.
"Please..." She whispers, only a few inches away from my mouth, her fingers clawing at the base of my neck, almost itching for more. "Don't stop."
With that being said, I kiss her again, granting her wish.
This kiss is so alive, so passionate, so raw, so... carnal. Nothing like the sweet sensual first kiss. Her lips mold to mine as if they were made for my lips to ravish. Our bodies seem to move closer on their own. My body is reacting and if I don't stop this kiss soon, I'm going to take her on my couch in a matter of seconds.
We shift and move to a more comfortable position until she ends up on top of me, straddling my lap. My dick is already painfully hard, begging desperately for relief. I haven't had sex since I got Teddy four and a half years ago, and not because I couldn't, but because I didn't want that life for him. Seeing his father with an endless stream of women coming in and out of his life. So it's been me and my right hand all these years.
I groan against her lips as her sex bumps against my cock. I move my hands from her hair and grab her hips to stop her from moving her body. But that doesn't help the moment I feel her dress bunched up around her waist to accommodate her position on my lap. My hands begin roaming around to her panty covered backside and grasping her ass. Regardless of how hard I tried not to moments earlier, I buck my hips up as I pull her closer. We both moan at the feeling but she pulls away.
We're both panting, our heads resting on each other's forehead. Our lips are so close, I'm breathing her air.
"If I don't stop now, I wont be able to." I warn her.
My dick throbs for her, waiting and hoping she says it's okay to continue. Pre-cum is already leaking out of me for fuck's sake.
Letting my partner take the lead, is a rarity for me and is definitely not something I'm use to, but for her I'm willing to give her what she needs. And I know she needs to feel in control here.
"I should probably go now anyway."
"Go?" What the fuck for? Why would she go?! Wait. Where is she going?
"Our little not-a-date is over and it's getting late." She explains. "I should go home."
Damn. So no to the sex on the couch thing?
"I was hoping you'd stay."
"Stay?" She questions. "As in, the night?"
"Yes, as in the night," I chuckle at how cute she is. What else did she think I meant? "I was hoping you'd stay the night with me."
"Um." She bites her lip. I really want to bite that lip again, but I hold back. "I don't- I don't know."
"Why not?"
"It's our first date." She says like that explains it. "Wouldn't that be kind of, I don't know, against the rules of dating to stay the night on the first date?"
"So." Granted I've not dated before, but what does that have to do with anything? "We're adults, and as long as we both agree and everything is consensual, who cares how fast we move?"
"I just think sex would complicate things for me."
What the fuck?! No sex? Like at all. She doesn't want to have sex because why- she's technically married? Well I don't know who the fuck Dakota is, but I do know Ana and I know I want her. Especially since she's still straddling my lap with her dress still bunched up around her hips and my hands still on her ass. I was so close to destroying the lace barrier between us, unzipping my pants and having my way with her on this sofa. And now she's telling me no sex.
Wait. She said sex would complicate things for her. Does she mean she wouldn't want to leave if we start a relationship? Is that what is complicated? Me.
"Is this because you're married? Or is it something else?" I decide the only way I'll get an answer is to ask.
"Mainly something else."
Okay so it's not because she's married. Then, "What is it?"
"If we... Then I..." She pauses before turning the question onto me. "Do really want to have sex with a legally married woman?"
"Yes." I answer honestly without hesitation.
I very much want to have sex with her, regardless of her marital status. Does she not feel the rock hard steel rod between my legs that suggests the same? And then I realize, she's a traumatized woman on the run from her abusive husband. It must take a lot for her to be alone with a man, to trust a man again, and here I am wanting to take advantage of the situation.
"But when you're ready." I add, putting her hair behind her ear and caressing her face with my hand.
"Christian, I- I'm just not sure... And I don't want to keep you waiting if I never am. Besides, I may end up leaving and it's already going to be hard enough as it is. If we get involved, it will only be harder on me when I do have to leave."
"Then don't. Don't leave, Ana. Stay."
She shakes her head, not wanting to talk about this anymore and stifling a yawn.
"We'll talk about this later, but I would like it very much if you stayed with me tonight." Not only tonight, every night. I don't want her to leave town at all, but the thought of her going back to that shack sends a shiver down my spine. "We'll just sleep. Maybe cuddle, possibly make-out."
"Make-out and cuddle, huh?" She smiles.
"I just want to hold you tonight." I peck her lips. "We'll see where it goes in the future."
"Okay," She nods. "I can agree to that."
I give her another sweet kiss and help her off my lap, getting a glimpse of her panties in the process.
"I don't have anything to wear." She warns me.
"You can borrow one of my shirts again," I say as I take her hand and lead her through the house to my bedroom.
Once in my room, I grab her a T-shirt to wear, and point out which door leads to my ensuite. She goes inside to change while I quickly change into my pajamas. I don't want to freak her out too much if I wore my underwear to bed. It's what I always wear, but to comfort her, I'll wear pajamas tonight.
The bathroom door opens and she steps out wearing my T-shirt, her hair now flowing down her back and around her shoulder. The shirt just covers her ass and I can tell she's no longer wearing her bra. She looks good in my T-shirt, the way she wears it, it looks like she's an extra for a Guns & Roses video. I almost expect her to dance around my room. Except the visions I now have of her dancing around, now involve her taking that T-shirt off.
Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I pull the sheets back for us. Yeah, because visions of her in my bed are much better than visions of her giving me a strip tease.
We climb into my bed together and I turn out the light. I want to grab her and kiss those beautiful lips again but I know she's tired and if I started kissing her, I don't think I would be able to stop. It's frustrating because I'm use to women doing what I want, when I want, but I know I need to be gentle with her considering her past. She seems to be doing okay, because I never would've imagined getting her in my bed this soon. Hell, I don't think she would've got in my bed at all after hearing about her past. But she seems comfortable with me and that make me happy.
She yawns as turns over on her side. Her back is facing me now so I wrap my arm around her and pull her soft, warm body closer to me.
"Sleep, baby." I kiss the back of her head. "We'll make out tomorrow."
She giggles at my joke and then settles back against me.
"Christian." She calls to me in the darkness.
"Yeah?"
"I just want you to know, I had a great time today, with you and Teddy at the beach earlier and the dinner too, even though what you admitted to me about your past did scare me. Being with you... it's like the first time I've actually looked up and I never want to look down again. I like being with you two."
"I had a great time too, baby." I kiss her head again and hold her closer.
"Also, I- I've been having nightmares... you know, since I left." She warns me. "I just wanted to... to let you know that... I might have one tonight."
"I understand about having nightmares more than you know." I had them myself for most of my life, but I don't anymore. "If you have a nightmare, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. You're safe here, Ana. I promise. Just focus on the future, dream of that, not the past."
"You can't control your dreams," She giggles.
"Sure you can." I give her one last chaste kiss of the night. "Sweet Dreams, baby."
...
Apov
I don't believe him one bit, he's going to wake up early because of my nightmares but at least I warned him. It's hard to fall asleep being in a new bed, and with a warm body next to me, I'm not use to this. I've slept alone for the past 4 months, and every new place was harder and harder, I can't sleep and I don't sleep much. But I've gotten use to it. However, I do need rest, I'm exhausted.
Christian falls asleep a lot sooner than I do. With his arms wrapped around me, there's an unfamiliar feeling flowing through me. Being wrapped in his arms, I feel safe. But there's also something else, some other feeling I've never felt before. I don't know how to explain it, but it's comforting. I never thought I would ever feel this way with a man.
I snuggle closer to him, holding onto his strong, muscular arm as I do. His nose brushes against my hair, inhales deeply and then he presses his lips to my head.
I'm so at peace, so content, feeling so safe and comfortable, that I don't even realize as my eye lids begin to droop and I'm drifting to sleep.
A child's giggle wakes me from my nap. My eyes are still closed but it feels like I'm outside; I can feel a breeze blowing against me, a bright light just behind my eyelids that I'm assuming is the sun, and I can hear the sounds of birds and waves. I'm near water. I'm outside and near water and there's a child nearby? Where am I?
I finally blink open my eyes and see that I am outside, laying on my back on top of a blanket in a grassy area filled with wildflowers. A meadow?
I hear the child laughing again so I start to sit up.
Leaning on my elbows, I look around and over the tall grass and see a man with a child in the distance. They are playing; the man is tossing the child into the air and catching him as they walk closer to me. My heart races every time the child is in the air and relief overwhelms me once he's safely in his father's arms.
Before they reach me, I look around again, trying to see if I can make out where I am. But I know I've never been here before.
"Where is mommy, buddy?" I hear the man ask the child.
That sounded like Christian! Wait, they're looking for the child's mother, Teddy's mother obviously since Christian is asking. But wait, Christian told me she passed away so why would he say that?
"Mommy?!" The boy calls, dragging out the name.
What is going on?
I peek over the tall grass again and see they are closer to me, I can even make out their faces now as they look around for the boy's 'mommy'. It's definitely Christian but something looks different about him, and Teddy too for that matter.
"There she is!" The boy, I now believe is Teddy, points in my direction.
"Where?" Christian asks him, looking for Teddy's mother.
"There! There!" Teddy points out excitedly.
I look behind me, all around, but I don't see anyone.
"Mommy!" Teddy squeals, nearly tackling me back down to the blanket.
"Careful with mommy, buddy." Christian tells him as he joins us.
"Mommy?" I ask Christian, not that I mind.
"How are you feeling, Mrs. Grey?" He sits beside me and kisses my lips.
"Mrs. Grey?!" I think that shocks me more than Teddy calling me mommy.
Ignoring my questions, Christian reaches around Teddy, who is still sitting in my lap, and places his hand on my stomach. When I look down I see it's swollen, like I have a basketball under my sundress. I want to check what's underneath, but then something pushes me from the inside. It's a weird feeling, but not painful. Strange. But a good strange.
"She's kicking." Christian announces.
"I'm pregnant?" We've never even had sex! I haven't had sex in months, how could I be pregnant, and this far along I might add. I look like I'm ready to give birth!
"Are you happy, baby?"
"Yes." I answer truthfully as I wrap my arms around Teddy and hold him close. I never want to let him go and I've never been happier. It's why I haven't left town yet.
But wait. We're not in town.
I look around again, now that I'm sitting up completely. We're sitting in a large open meadow with wildflowers growing everywhere, nothing around for miles but a huge house, a house I've never seen before, with water behind it. We're surrounded by land, trees and water, I don't see any other houses near us. It's a breathtaking view.
"But what is going on?" I ask. "Where are we?"
"We're home." He kisses me hard, but gently. "I told you that you were safe with me."
Suddenly, I wake up. I'm in bed, a soft bed, much softer than my own. Heavy breathing behind me reminds me that I'm not alone.
It was a dream. It wasn't a nightmare, it was just a dream.
Thankfully it was a dream, but I expected to wake up to a nightmare. I almost expected to wake up back in my bed in Detroit, with him. That this was all a dream, that I never escaped, that I never met Christian and Teddy. But no, it all really happened, I really escaped. And I'm still wrapped safely in Christian's arms.
It's still dark outside but dawn is approaching. The curtains are closed so I can't even estimate the time.
Looking at the clock, tells me it's almost 6 o'clock in the morning. It's later than I usually wake, and when we were in Seattle, I woke up around the same time. It has to be something to do with sleeping with these Grey guys; Teddy and Christian. Whatever it is, it's getting me plenty of rest and I'm loving it.
Usually, I'm not able to go back to sleep once I wake from my nightmares. Though this wasn't a nightmare. Regardless, once I'm awake, it's difficult for me to go back to sleep.
I turn over so I'm facing Christian and just look at him. He seems so relaxed, like nothing in the world worries him, like he's not afraid of anything.
Before we went to sleep, he told me I was safe with him. And yes, I do feel safe with him. I've never felt like this before. How did I get so lucky to find this man? I can't believe that this beautiful, kind-hearted man wants me, wants to protect me, wants to care for me, wants to be with me. I don't want to fight it anymore, I want him to. If he really wants me, and I want him, there's no point in fighting our feelings any longer.
I really want to kiss him again. The kiss we shared earlier was amazing, I've never been kissed like that before.
I would kiss him now, but he's sleeping and I don't want to wake him. Instead, I settle for watching him sleep, waiting for him to wake.