Cpov

I wake before Ana, just watching her sleep. She's so relaxed in her sleep, and her guard is completely down, more so than she ever is when she's awake. She warned me of her nightmares, which I already suspected she had them when we went to Seattle, but she didn't have one last night. Not that I know of anyway. I hope she didn't have a nightmare, only to wake alone in the middle of the night while I lay peacefully unaware beside her.

It's getting pretty late, almost 9 o'clock, but I just let her sleep. I remember what it was like to wake up every night, drenched in sweat, heart racing and scared out of my fucking mind. I highly doubt she's had a good, uninterrupted sleep since she ran away. I don't even know how long she's been on the run. Has it been weeks, months, years? Fuck, I hope it hasn't been years and she's still this terrified that he's looking for her.

She moves in her sleep, unintentionally pushing her ass against me.

I woke with a raging hard on, but it's gone down since... however, if she keeps rubbing against me like that, I'm going to be hard again within a matter of seconds. I want to respect her wishes, regarding sex, but her not wanting to complicate things is utter bullshit. She thinks if we start a relationship, it will be harder on everyone when she leaves, but what she doesn't realize is if she leaves now, it will be just as hard. Besides, I'm not letting her slip away when I just found her.

If her asshole of a husband somehow finds her, there's no way in hell I will let him lay a finger on her. I'd kill him first. I'm not naïve enough to believe I'm somehow above the law, but there are ways around it. So maybe I'll just beat him to a pulp, until he's paralyzed and unable to move, perhaps even living on a life-supporting machine, and since Ana is legally his wife, she can pull the plug. Problem solved.

Ana sighs contently in her sleep and begins to stir. She blinks open her beautiful blue eyes and for an instant I see her fear return just before her eyes land on me.

"Good morning, beautiful." I lean down to kiss her but she quickly turns her head and gives me her cheek.

"Morning breath." She complains the reason we can't kiss.

I laugh and get out of bed, pulling a tired Ana with me.

Leading her into my bathroom, grab my toothbrush for her use, and hand it over to her.

"I already brushed mine earlier." I didn't want to get out of bed, but I had to use the bathroom. It's the fastest I've ever peed and brushed my teeth, wanting to hurry back to her before she woke up. "We'll go to the store today and get you a few things to keep here for when you stay the night."

I know it's too soon for her to move in, but I can't deny the fact that I want her here. Not only because I don't want her alone in the woods, living in that tiny shack she calls shelter, but also because Teddy and I both enjoy her company. I never thought I would have this life, and now that I have it, I can't see myself living any other way.

"What makes you think I'll stay again?" She jokes as she beings to brush her teeth.

"Trust me," I smirk. "I know."

She finishes brushing her teeth so she rinses my toothbrush and puts it back, then she turns and looks expectantly at me.

"What?" I ask, not knowing what she needs or why she's giving me that look.

"Get out." She giggles.

"What?" I laugh with her, surprised with what she said.

"I have to pee," She explains her need for privacy. "Like, really, really bad."

I laugh at the little dance she does and leave the bathroom.

We didn't really get to make-out much last night after sharing our pasts because it got late and she was tired, so I plan to have a lay-in with her this morning and make-out until she stops me.

We'll have to go to the store some time today and I have a project up my sleeve for later.

I know who owns the place she's renting so I send him an email asking permission first, not that he would mind. Maybe I should ask Mia or Kate to bring Ana some clothes so I don't have to take her home to change before we start our day. Nah, I don't want those two to come over and be in my business when I don't even know what Ana and I are yet.

The bathroom door opens and Ana walks out.

I set my phone down and hold my hands out for her to join me. She smiles and runs across the room on her tiptoes, grabs my hands and gets on the bed with me.

"Do you work today?" I ask so I know how much time we have.

"No." She shakes her head. "I'm off until tomorrow."

"Good," Because I plan to devour you all day.

I start kissing her and she responds immediately, instantly sweeping her tongue against mine.

Moaning, I bring her down onto the bed so we're laying again. I'm halfway on top of her, my erection is practically digging into her hip. I want more but I promised only to make-out, letting her set the pace until she's ready. But perhaps we can heat this make-out session up. I've never made out with a girl before, but I know there are levels of intensity. Elliot said something about baseball; first, second, and third base. Home run being sex. Who knew baseball could be sexually educational.

I pull away from her, looking down at her as she lays beneath me. She's so fucking beautiful, I just have to touch her. I caress her face, running my thumb along her full bottom lip, slightly swollen from mine. If she looks this good from me kissing her, imagine how she would look, high from an orgasm that I've given her.

"I want to make you cum." I admit, my voice husky.

Her eyes widen and blush adorns her cheeks before her mouth pops open.

"I- I-" She stutters, only stopping to nod her approval.

"Let me know if you want me to stop. Just tell me to stop and I will, okay?" I highly doubt she'll ask me to stop but I want her to know she's in control here.

Once I get her going, she'll be begging for more.

Since I know she doesn't want to have sex yet, I'll make her cum with my fingers. I'd love to taste her, but I want to see what she looks like when she cums so I'll stick with my fingers for now.

I kiss her again, not only to relax her because she suddenly tensed up when I mentioned making her cum, but also because I enjoy it. My hand gently fondles and caresses every inch of her.

Moving to kiss her neck, I slide my hand under her shirt, rubbing her flat stomach then make my way down to her panties. I stop just at the hem and play with it. She's panting so hard in anticipation, I know she wont tell me to stop. But I still expect her to.

"Do you want me to stop?" I whisper against her neck.

"No." She pants, spreading her legs a bit more for me. "Don't. Don't stop."

Since she obviously wants me to continue, I pull back the hem of her panties and dive my hand inside until I'm cupping her sex.

"Fuck." I breathe when I feel how wet she is.

Without waiting any longer, I begin to move my fingers in and around her sex, getting it nice and wet with her natural juices before I move to her clit. She's so wet that my fingers slide easily inside of her. Her body tenses up at my touch but then relaxes moments later.

"Christian!" She screams my name when I press down hard, moving my hand in a circular motion.

She was fisting the sheets, but now she thrusts her hands into my hair, her finger nails lightly scratching my scalp as she fists my hair.

Using my palm on her clit, I being to rub her harder and faster, continuing to kiss her as I move my fingers in a come-hither motion.

My dick is so fucking hard, I can feel the pre-cum leaking out of me. I work faster when I know she's close and soon she detonates around my hand, her walls squeezing me.

"Oh-oh-oh, my god! Christian!"

I pull my head away from her neck to look at her, watching her cum, literally, undone by my hand. She's so fucking beautiful.

My dick twitches as I watch her and I can't help but to kiss and nibble on her jaw as my hand continues to move, my fingers still pumping, letting her ride it out until she comes down from her high.

"Wow." She breathes once she's finished.

"I want you so fucking bad right now." I admit to her.

I've wanted her for some time now, but especially now when she's a withering mess in my bed.

"Yes. Please. More." She begs, barely able to get the words out.

Without a second thought, I kneel up and grab hold of her panties near her hips, thanking all things possible that I had the foresight to buy condoms, having every intention of having sex with this beautiful mysterious creature one day. And that day just so happens to be today. I begin to pull her panties down, however, the doorbell stops me.

"FUCK!"

Apov

I'm still panting and weak from that orgasm Christian so kindly gave to me, when his doorbell rings and interrupts our moment.

"FUCK!" He shouts upset, and rightfully so.

That was the first orgasm I've ever! I've tried many times getting myself off, but nothing I did worked. And Boyce, well he was always selfish when it came to sex.

Not wanting to think of him while I'm with Christian, I shake him from my thoughts. Permanently. I will no longer think of him and my past, I wont give him that power over me and my thoughts.

I've decided that Christian is right; I'm Ana now, I am no longer Dakota, and Ana is not married. Though I know I can never legally get married again, and I don't plan to, but- Am I really going to live my whole life not kissing or having sex again because I don't want to break a marriage vow or that I'll have to leave wherever I am because he found my location? I left him, I'm never going back, and he broke his vows long ago when he laid his hands on me. And I really like Christian. Like really like him. And I just adore little Teddy.

I know that once we become further involved, if I ever have to leave for any reason, it would crush me. But I don't want to fight this feeling anymore. So I've decided, instead of being scared, I'm going to put myself out there. I never thought I would be able to trust another man again, but Christian is different. There's something about him that draws me to him.

"It's probably my mother dropping off Teddy." Christian says of who is possibly at his door, climbing off of me and bringing me from my thoughts.

His mother?! Surely it's not right for his mother to see us in bed together so soon. I've just met the woman yesterday for crying out loud.

"Should I go?" I ask, sitting up.

"No." He looks like it's the most ridiculous thing ever. "She's just dropping off Teddy, she wont stay."

Oh god, that's worse! If Teddy assumes his father and I are together, together, before Christian and I have talked about things, what is he going to think?

I'm about to ask Christian what our relationship is now; are we friends, more than friends... I wouldn't want it to be a sexual relationship if Teddy is going know about us. He'll be upset, I'm sure, if he ever found out that we weren't- um, in a real relationship. Granted he is only four and doesn't understand, but I don't think it would be a good idea.

I'm about to say something, explain this to Christian, but the doorbell ringing again interrupts me.

"I'll be right back." He starts to walk away but stops at the door. Looking over his shoulder at me, he says, "We'll continue this later."

And with that, he leaves me with his threat. Or is it a promise?

I should probably get out of bed, but the only thing I have to change into is that dress I borrowed from Kate.

"Christian," I say before he gets to far away. "I don't have any pants."

"Just grab a pair of mine," He calls from the hallway. "they're in the dresser."

My body no longer feels like lead, I feel sated, yet wanting more. I'm about to get up and search for a pair of his sweats but voices stop me.

"What are you doing here?" Christian asks whoever it is. It's obviously not his mother like he assumed.

I sit in his bed, surrounded and still snuggled in the blankets while I listen.

"Who were you talking to?" Someone questions him, not answering his.

It sounds like Mia. I haven't really spoken much to her since I got the job, but from what I've observed, my boss is a sweet girl.

"I'm talking to you, what are you doing here?"

I let out a small giggle at Christian.

"We wanted to know how the date went." I hear Kate now.

"It went as to be expected," Christian brushes them off. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have company."

"She's still here?!" I'm not sure who said that, it could've been both of them.

I hear squealing now and then they start asking him rapid-fire questions. They're both talking over each other, fast and high pitched with excitement that I can't make out what they are asking.

"Goodbye, Mia. Goodbye, Kate."

I hear the door close.

"Daddy," I hear Teddy now. The girls must've dropped him off instead of Christian's mother. "is Ana really here?"

"Yeah, buddy, she's in my room."

Little feet can be heard running down the hall, followed by Christian's voice saying to slow down.

The bedroom door bursts open and Teddy's infectious smile shines through.

"Ana!"

"Teddy!" I smile back at him.

He comes running over to me, where I'm still sitting on the bed, and climbs up next to me.

"Did you have a sleepover?" Teddy asks me, kneeling next to me.

"Um." What do I say? It's obvious that I did, I'm still in bed and it looks like I just woke up... I can't lie to him, but Christian and I haven't talked yet. "Yes?"

"Did you see my room?" He doesn't seemed bothered by my staying the night.

"No."

"You gotta see it!" He says so excitedly as he pulls on my hand.

As we make our way off the bed and to the door, Teddy leading me, I ignore the uncomfortable wetness in my panties.

When I look up, Christian is leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, looking every bit of the Greek-god Adonis and enjoying the show.

He smiles and moves out of the way for us to walk through.

I shake my head at him, unable to stop smiling, and let Teddy take me to his room.

It, of course, is every little boy's dream bedroom. And he points out everything, explaining some things and showing me all his cool stuff.

"Will you stay the night again?" Teddy asks me.

"Um. Maybe?"

"You can sleep in my room dis time, it's cooler than my dad's."

"No, Teddy," Christian finally steps in. "Ana is going to sleep with me if she stays again."

"But you had her last night." Teddy whines.

My hand flies to my mouth at how that sounded. From the mouths of babes.

Christian looks at me, smiling and clearly understanding why I'm reacting the way I am.

"And I intend on having her as many nights as I want." He says to his son, keeping his eyes on me.

Teddy pouts and does not look very happy that his father is not sharing... me. I want to laugh so badly at their exchange.

"Listen, son." Christian begins. "Boyfriends and girlfriends sleep together-"

"Uh." I interrupt Christian. "You probably shouldn't tell him that."

"Why not?" He looks a little upset. Maybe it's because I'm overstepping him as a parent but,

"Well, he might have a girlfriend at like, 16 or 15, possibly even 14, maybe younger, and you wouldn't want them to sleep together. Right?"

"Yeah, you're right." He runs his finger through his hair, making it stand on end. "I just thought you didn't want me to tell him that we were- you know what, nevermind."

"That we were, what?!" I squeak.

My eyes widen in wonder at what he would tell his four year old son we were doing in his bed besides sleeping. And then it hits me, I wasn't paying much attention to his words but he said, boyfriends and girlfriends sleep together. Does he see us as... as a couple? I mean, after everything I told him last night, I half expected him to turn me away since I'm legally married and my abusive husband is looking for me. I know we still have a lot to talk about in private but, being Christian's girlfriend... I like it.

"-and then we'll come home and watch a movie before bed, okay." Christian finishes telling Teddy what they're doing today while I continued to space out.

I missed most of what he said but I don't ask him to repeat it. I'm spending the night again, I could care less what we do during the day as long as we're together.

"Ana, you can sit by me when we watch da move." Teddy insists.

"No way, she's sitting by me."

Watching Christian being playful with his son is such a sight to see.

"I will fight you for it." Teddy challenges his father. "Uncle Lettiot is teachin' me."

"You're on."

I cringe when Christian ruffles Teddy's hair.

"Don't worry," Christian laughs at the face I made. "I washed my hands before I answered the door."

"Oh." I say relieved. "Good."

"Yes," He smirks, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him. "It was very good."

"You didn't even-" I shake my head, not wanting to continue or have this conversation with Teddy in the room.

"But I enjoyed it; taking care of you."

Since Christian and I have yet to eat, we all walk out of Teddy's room together with Christian leading us to the kitchen.

"I may not be a master chef, but I've picked up a few simple skills after having Teddy." Christian explains as he gathers the things he'll need. "I'll make us some eggs and bacon, then we'll go to the store."

"I can't go to the store in your shirt." I tell him as I sit down beside Teddy on the barstool that surrounds the breakfast bar in his beautiful state-of-the-art kitchen, much like at his apartment in Seattle. I get the sense he likes being rich but not showing it off except where it matters. Like on the things he's passionate or cares about.

"We'll go by your place so you can change first," He starts our breakfast. And it's nice to be catered to for once. "We'll stop at the pharmacy to pick up a few toiletries, then to the hardware store. I have a project planned for today. And then after that we can come home and watch a movie while we relax."

He's cooking as he talks, and it's obvious he's not very good in the kitchen. His beginner skills showing through, but it's enough to get him by and it's adorable to watch. Not to mention, incredibly sexy. Thankfully I haven't spaced out this time watching him. Though it's easy to get lost just looking at him, any part of him, his body, his forearms, his eyes. Everything about this man is incredibly sexy... Which begs the question; what is he doing with a girl like me? Not that I'm not attractive, I know how guys look at me and how they talk to me, but I have so much baggage.

"What makes you think I'll stay again?" I tease him as he sets our plates down as well as a small bowl of eggs and bacon bites for Teddy.

"I made you a promise I intend to keep." He says with a hint of lust in his tone.

"With Teddy here?" I whisper in horror.

"Yes, with Teddy here." He laughs.

"We can't do anything like that with Teddy here." I keep my voice low but my tone is high.

"Parents do it all the time while their children are home, Ana." Christian brushes it off as he sits next to me. "Otherwise we'd all come from only child families, or whatever."

"I guess you're right."

"I am." He begins to eat, biting off a piece of bacon. "So when he goes to bed tonight, you're all mine."

I swallow hard at the thought. Am I ready for this? Not only sex, but a relationship it so obviously seems Christian wants. And not just any relationship, he has a son too. I know I shouldn't start anything with them when I don't know if I will have to leave, but I find it comforting to have people to talk to. I'm no longer lonely and I feel safe. I'm beginning to feel homesick for a place that I'm not sure even really exists. And being here, it makes me feel at home.

Christian nods to my plate that I've yet to touch, signaling me to eat. So I do.

...

It was a busy day for us today.

I borrowed a pair of Christian's sweats and his shirt, while he took me home to change. I say borrow, but he's not getting his clothes back, I plan to keep them. After I got dressed, and packed my bag for another night at Christian's, we stopped at a couple stores and picked up a few things I would need if I stayed the night again so I wont have to keep packing a bag. Christian paid for everything, of course, he wouldn't have it any other way. And I do mean everything; including all feminine hygiene products and clothing.

Then we went to the hardware store where Christian bought a bunch of lumber and other items he needed for his project. Before we did anything else, we stopped at the restaurant and had lunch.

To my surprise, after lunch, Christian drove back to my place and those items were delivered there. His project; repairing my worn porch that he was afraid would eat him alive. Apparently he already got approval from my landlord who was all too happy with the repairs. And it's not like I have any say, I'm just renting the place. Though it does make me feel good that he wants me safe.

Teddy was the cutest. Christian let him help, supervised of course, and he even bought Teddy his very own little toolbox complete with his first set of real tools. While my men were working hard on replacing the porch, I made them some lemonade. I tried to offer my help, but Teddy insisted it's what gentlemen do for their ladies. Of course, Christian laughed and went along with it.

When we finally made it back to Christian's house, it was getting late so we all changed into pajamas. I wore another one of Christian's T-shirts instead of my own. We all made dinner together and instead of eating at the table, we all sat around in their family room to watch the movie Teddy picked out. Labyrinth. Apparently he thinks the goblins are cute and the Goblin King is awesome! To say it was fun is an understatement, I enjoy spending time with Christian and Teddy.

We're nearing the end of the movie and Teddy is already sleeping with his head on my lap. I've been rubbing his hair since he laid on me, and about five minutes later I looked down to see he fell asleep. Christian noticed and wrapped his arm around me, kissing my head and holding me close. So now we're all snuggled together, with me in the middle.

I was 'forced' to sit in the middle between the two of them because they both wanted me to sit near them. Of course, I wasn't actually 'forced', I wanted to, but it was still cute to see them 'fighting' over me. They even wrestled around a bit on the floor until I agreed to sit by them both.

When the end credits finally roll, Christian gently moves his arm from around my shoulder and stands. He easily lifts Teddy into his arms, telling me to meet him in his room while he puts Teddy to bed.

Instead of going right to Christian's room, I clean up the mess we made. I know I'm overthinking about this orgasm thing, but I can't help it. I've never had one before, my first being the one he gave me earlier... with his fingers. But what if penetrative sex is different and I wont be able to... Should I tell him, or should I just fake it? Surely if I tell him, he'll just try harder and what if I don't have an orgasm even with him trying so hard... I don't want to upset him so I decide I'll just fake it. I've gotten pretty good at it and I wouldn't want to disappoint him.

I feel the heat on my cheeks as I finally make my way to Christian's room. Just the thought of going further than we did this morning is getting me wet already.

Once in his room, I take a deep breath to clam my nerves.

When I hear him approaching, I take off running for his bed and quickly cover myself with the blankets.

If I'm being honest with myself, I'm more than a little nervous about Christian's plans for tonight. Are we just going to fool around, make-out, is he going to do that magic with his fingers again, will we experiment with oral... I know we went a little too far earlier, and he sort of made me a promise for more... but I'm worried we're going too fast.

We still haven't discussed anything because of Teddy being around, and I know us having a relationship will complicate things if I'm ever found and need to leave, but I want to be with Christian, I don't want to leave. And I know he's eventually, if not tonight, going to want to have sex. My emotions are already playing a role in things, it's the reason I've stayed here so long... sex is taking things to a whole new level. I never expected myself to ever be in another romantic relationship again, but here I am.

Christian walks in, closing and locking the bedroom door behind him.

"What if Teddy needs you?"

"He wont. He sleeps through the night." Christian says casually, shedding his clothing as he makes his way to me. "He'll come in my room in the morning though."

I nod, unable to speak as I watch him take his clothes off. I've always suspected he had a great body under his clothes, and the beach was the first time I've seen his torso exposed, but now he's standing before me wearing only his black Calvin Klein boxer briefs. He looks like a freaking model! A cover model for GQ with an inside spread, to be exact.

"I'll be sure to unlock the door when we're finished." He says when he joins me on the bed so we're both laying down side by side.

"Okay," My voice shakes a bit and I don't know why.

"Hey." He tilts my chin up so I'm looking at him. "We'll only do what you are comfortable with, okay? You are in control here. Whatever you want, however far you want to go."

I nod my head, but I don't know what I want.

"What do you want, baby? Tell me."

"I- I don't know."

"Would you like me to make you cum again?"

"Yes." I answer without hesitation.

"Okay," He laughs. "How?"

"Christian," I shake my head. "I don't- I don't-"

"Come on, baby, tell me. Whatever you want."

"I want you, Christian." I answer honestly. "I want to be with you, but we're moving so fast. What if-"

"Stop." He interrupts me. "Don't worry yourself with what ifs. I want you too, baby, and if you let me, I would gladly show you how much."

"Crap!"

"What?" He questions my sudden outburst. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not on birth-control anymore. I use to sneak my pills but I didn't take them with when I left and I can't really afford health care a-"

"Relax, baby." He laughs. "I have condoms for when we have sex."

Condoms never felt like such a naughty word until just now.

"Is that your way of saying you're ready for sex?" He asks me.

"I- I- Yeah, I guess."

"Okay," He gives me a sweet, gentle chaste kiss. "Remember, if this is not what you want, if you're not ready, you can stop me at any time. Just tell me to stop and I will."

"I think I'm ready."

He gives me one more kiss before he moves to kneel between my thighs.

I watch as he trails his hands up my thighs. I expect him to take my panties off but he bypasses them, instead he moves the shirt I'm wearing up until he hits the bottom of my breasts, so my full stomach is showing but my breasts are still covered. He's letting me be very modest, it's unexpected but much appreciated.

My body tenses up when he leans down and places soft, openmouthed kisses on my abdomen.

"Relax, baby." He whispers against my stomach as he makes his way down.

I try to relax, but my mind is going a million miles a second and my body is not responding the way it should... it never does.

My breathing increases as he gets closer to my sex. I feel as if I'm going to have a panic attack.

Christian somehow senses my body's reaction and stops what he's doing. He quickly crawls up my body so his head is even with mine, but that just makes it worse.

"No!" I shout, quickly turning my head away from him.

He quickly gets off of me so he's laying right next to me. How he knew I was freaking out and not turned on is beyond me, but I'm glad he stopped.

"I'm sorry, Christian, I'm so sorry," Tears are now streaming down my face as I turn away from him. I never expected that reaction. I was fine earlier today when he did what he did, why am I reacting this way now. My fear was that I wouldn't have an orgasm, not that I would freak out and completely panic, ruining our night all together.

"Hey," He tries to turn me around, but I refuse to face him. "Baby, look at me. Please."

"No."

"Ana." He coaxes.

Reluctantly, I turn around so I'm facing him.

"I told you," He wipes my tears with the pad of his thumb. "You are in control here. Whatever you want is what will happen. If you want me to stop, I'll stop. If you only want to kiss and make out, that's what we'll do. If you want to sleep, we can cuddle and go to sleep. Whatever you want, baby, I mean that."

I'm melting at his words, literally swooning. He's seriously the sweetest man ever.

"I'm sorry, Christian, I don't know what happened, I didn't mean to react that way. Can we try again?"

"Baby, if you just want to lay and cuddle until we fall asleep, we can do just that." He assures me. "We can have sex another day."

"No," I wipe my tears. "Please. I'd like to try again."

"Baby-"

"I want to, Christian," I interrupt him from saying anything. "I want you. I do."

"Okay." He relents. "Just remember, you are in control here, baby, not me."

I nod my head and sit up so I can take my shirt off. It's cool in his room with the air running and as soon as my breasts are exposed, my nipples harden.

"Whoa." He breathes at my sudden boldness.

I'm still nervous and my body is shaking, but I'm determined now. I wont let my past ruin or affect my future any longer.

To my surprise, Christian suddenly sits up and gets out of bed.

"Wait here." He says, making his way towards his walk-in closet.

Well that didn't go as planned.

I wipe my eyes with the sheet while he's in there, because they still feel wet and I don't want to look like some weak woman in distress.

When he comes back out, he's holding two neckties.

"Here," He hands them to me as he lays back down. "Maybe this will help you feel in control."

"Christian, I really don't think that this will work." I tell him nervously, now holding his ties.

This is definitely not a good idea. If I was freaking out without being restricted, I'll surely freak if I can't move.

"It's not for you," He says as he raises his arms above his head. "Restrain me to the bed."

"What?!"

"I once felt out of control and this helped me."

"Are you sure?" I don't know about this.

"Absolutely."

"Okay," I hesitantly move so I'm straddling him. I'm no expert in knot tying, but I reach up and wrap it around his wrists, then hook it around the bottom of the headboard.

I giggle when Christian starts moaning and rubbing his nose against my bare breast.

"Stop it," I push him away using my chest since my hands are busy. "I'm trying to tie you up."

Of course he doesn't stop, he advances to kissing the swell, darting his tongue out too, and now is the time my body decides to react. I'm getting wet, hot and horny. I want him.

After I have him secured as best as I can, I lean down and kiss him hard. He pulls on his restraints, but can't move.

"How are you-" kiss kiss kiss "-going to-" kiss kiss "-put on-" kiss "-the condom?"

"You can." kiss "They're in my bedside drawer."

Instead of moving to grab a condom, I continue to kiss him. Kissing him is loosening me up.

I don't know why my body reacted that way earlier, but I hate that it did. Now I'm much more calm, still worrying about not being able to have an orgasm, but otherwise I'm fine. It's sweet that he allowed me to tie him up. However, I want him touching me, I like him touching me, so I reach up and loosen his restraints so he's free.

"Baby-"

"No," I stop him with a kiss. "I want this."

"You are still in charge." He assures me, and it makes me feel cherished that he's doing this for me. I may not know all the details of BDSM, Submission and Domination, but I do know Christian is an alpha male. I'm sure he's use to being the aggressor during sex, not giving up control so easily. I don't want to hold that back from him, I want us to have equal control. Which is why I've untied him. As much as I appreciate the gesture, I know I don't need it with him.

Doing as he did to me, I kiss down his front, stopping when I see small circular scars randomly placed on his chest. He said he was adopted because his mother was neglectful, he didn't say he was abused. Is this from chickenpox or is this from his time as a submissive with that wretched woman. If it was from him being abused, I guess we're more similar than I thought. Perhaps that's why he's being so sweet and understanding with me.

Leaning down, I press my lips to one of his scars, kissing it. His body tenses up but he doesn't say anything to stop me, and he keeps his hands on my hips. Looking up at him, I see that he's fine with me kissing his chest so I kiss another one of his scars while looking into his eyes. I continue to kiss down his chest, until I get to the hem of his boxer briefs.

He lets me run my fingers all over his sexy abs, his deep V, his oh so happy trail.

Looping my fingers under the band, I glance up at him to see him watching me intently. His eyes are dark, glazed over, his mouth is slightly parted to accommodate his heavy breathing. And if the bulge I feel behind his underwear is anything to go by, he's just as turned on as I am.

Finally, I begin to pull down on his boxer briefs, lifting to go over his erection, and once he's sprung free I have to stop every movement.

He's so... big.

"See something you like?" He asks after awhile of my blatant staring.

"Yes," I answer truthfully. It's beautiful.

Wrapping my hand around the base, I give the tip a sweet kiss, causing him to moan quietly and it to twitch. I giggle and pull his underwear the rest of the way off with his help.

He's now gloriously, and unashamed to be, naked.

As much as I want him to take my panties off, I'm not sure if I will have another anxiety attack, so I take them off myself.

"Impatient?" He laughs at how fast I do the task.

"A little." I can't help but to giggle.

Christian reaches over and opens a drawer, reaching inside to grab a condom. I watch, sitting back on my hunches as he puts the condom on.

Once he's ready for me, he holds his hands out to me.

I hold onto his hands for support and swing my leg around so I'm straddling him once again.

I expected to have sex missionary style, but this is good too. I think he's doing this so I wont freak out again. I love that. And the way he's looking at me is nothing like I've ever been looked at before. I can see lust in his eyes. This man is truly amazing.

Leaning down, I kiss him again.

"Are you ready, baby?" He asks, a little impatient but not that I can blame him.

I nod and let him continue his sweet torture.

"Tell me you're ready." He wants to hear me say the words.

"I'm ready. I want you."

He reaches between us and soon his fingers are touching me.

"Ah," My body shudders, but in a good way, at his touch.

"You're so ready." He moans. "So wet and ready."

And then I feel his dick's head. He lines himself up, keeping one hand on my hip, and slowly I sink down onto him. I can feel each and every inch of him. It's been over 4 months, and my body reminds me of that, though it could be because Christian is so big. It takes me a minute to get use to him.

Once I'm use to the feeling of him inside of me, I begin to move.

I'm surprised at first when he doesn't move with me. It isn't until I ask him to move that he does.

He's still letting me take the lead, but he's moving at a different angle each time he enters me. I don't ask questions, I just enjoy the feel of him filling me. It feels amazing, but I know I'm no where near that mind-blowing feeling he gave me earlier. Now that I know what it feels like, I know what to expect.

Christian kisses me while I rock back and forth. He's being nothing like I expected a dominant to be.

I guess he's showing me that I really am in charge here. I love that he's being this sweet with me just to make me feel comfortable. Can this man be anymore perfect?

"AH!" I scream out when he suddenly hits something inside of me. Like a sweet spot of pleasure.

"Oh, baby," He smirks like he hit the jackpot. It's makes him look even more sexy. "There it is."

What does that mean?

"Oh my god!" I cry out when he hits it again.

Now he continues to hit that sweet spot over and over with each and every thrust.

I move faster, rocking against him as he flexes his hips up harder. I'm suddenly hot, sweating, moaning like a whore in heat, panting. My nipples somehow feel like they've pebbled harder as they rub against his bare chest. Oh my god, I feel something tingle deep within me and I know that magical feeling is coming back. I'm building, higher and higher, until suddenly I'm on the edge. I'm just barely holding on, everything is intense, every movement sending me further and further to my breaking point.

"Christian! Christian!"

"Oh, baby, you're so tight. Cum, baby."

It's like his words are my undoing. I feel my insides quiver, tightening around him. He holds my hips and continues to move even though I no longer have the energy to continue. He's prolonging my orgasm. It feels as if it lasts minutes, hours, but at the same time it feels like it only lasts seconds. I'm not even finished yet and I immediately want more, so much more.

When I'm nearing the end of my orgasm, he thrusts deep inside of me once more and stills. I can feel my body naturally milking him.

It's obvious this man knows what he's doing when it comes to sex. And I thought I was going to have to fake it. That was better than him using his fingers!

"Ana," He whispers, wrapping one of his arms around my waist and the other is pushing on my behind, holding me to him.

I crash onto him, no longer having enough energy left to hold myself up.

"My Ana." He kisses my temple.

Cpov

I came so hard and so much it feels as if the condom wont hold it all. It's been so fucking long since I've had sex, and she's so fucking warm, wet and tight, I just exploded.

I have to pull out sooner than I'd like, I'm afraid the condom may overflow and leak out. But doing that after I've just finished cuming, it makes me want to push deep inside of her and stay there forever.

Fuck, I wish she was on birth-control so I could have her bare. I know she wont want to go to a clinic, but I could always pay someone under the table to give her birth-control pills or something. I'm not sure how much she'd like that so I guess we'll be using condoms for the foreseeable future.

It's funny, I finally meet someone I can see myself being with for the rest of my life and I can't have her bare, yet all the others... No, I wont thing about that, especially not now.

"You've exhausted me." She complains as she rolls off of me and crashes onto the bed.

"Sorry, baby." I could go another round or two, to be honest. "How do you feel?"

"That was... It was... Wow."

My sentiments exactly. Wow.

I clean us up, and the mess we've made, before I help her put my shirt back on. I fucking love that she's wearing my shirt again.

Once she's tended to, I grab my boxer briefs, slip them back on and then unlock the door for Teddy in the morning.

After I'm finished doing everything, I lay down beside her and pull her soft, warm body close to me. She snuggles against me as I hold her close, now sated and relaxed.

I kiss her head when I hear her contently sigh. She's happy. I made her happy.

Vanilla. I have never experienced vanilla before tonight, and it's something to be said. I always wondered after I left the lifestyle, even during my time as a Dominant, if I would be able to enjoy vanilla as much as I enjoy my kinky fuckery. And I did enjoy it. But maybe I did because it was with her. I've never felt such a connection with anyone before her.

I knew she would feel out of control, so I wasn't surprised when she tensed up and freaked out. It confirmed the kind of abuse she's had to suffer through. I tried as best as I could to relent my natural dominance and let her take the lead with sex, even going as far as to let her tie me up. It worked for me, as much as I hate to admit it now, but it really did work.

She needed it, and once she felt in control and safe, she was comfortable enough to let go of her demons and enjoy herself.

It was a surprise to feel her touching and kissing my bare chest. I've long since gotten passed my phobia with therapy and Teddy's help, but Teddy is the only person to have touched my bare chest. My family members are still cautious, though they know I've accepted it. I can now hug every member of my family, not only small, quick hugs like Mia use to give me.

It doesn't take long for her breathing to even out so I know she's sleeping. I tried staying awake last night until she fell asleep, but I couldn't be sure if she was sleeping or not when I finally drifted off. Now I know she's sleeping, and if I have anything to say about it, this is where she'll be sleeping every night.

As I hold her in my arms, I think about how my life is turning on its axis.

I never expected my life to turn out this way. I always pictured myself as being a Dom with an endless stream of Subs coming and going, never settling down or having a family. I never once thought of being a father, let alone having a girlfriend. I often had nightmares of my start to life, it really fucked me up, but I often thought it would be a nightmare to settle down; live the white picket fenced life so to speak. But now that I have it, I never want to live any other way again. I know there's a lot Ana and I need to discuss, but I hope she will forever be in our lives. I don't ever want to lose her. She's one nightmare I never want to wake up from.

"Sweet dreams," My beautiful nightmare.

a/n: So... after the first chapter, these chapters all started out around the same length, believe it or not. That being said, this chapter is by far way too long, but when I was rewriting it & editing it for posting, things happened in the chapter that weren't originally planned. This chapter should've been split into two but I couldn't find a place to split it. However, I think it works better this way so this super duper long chapter is a gift for my crazy thoughts running wild with this idea that I didn't even know would happen until I sat down to edit.
Shout out to the lovely ladies who not only leave feedback on Facebook, in the FSoG Fanfic Obsessed group, but also review the story.

I hope you all enjoyed, thanks for reading. :D