Apov
One Month Later
I wish I could start my life over. I would do everything differently. Maybe I would go to college, I could work at some hardware store to help pay my way, have a best friend like Kate by my side, maybe I could've even filled in for her when she was too sick to interview Christian. Perhaps that's how I could've met him instead of from being on the run, afraid for my life. I often wonder what our relationship would've been like had we met sooner in life. But then he might not have Teddy and I wouldn't trade that little boy for the world.
I guess starting over isn't the answer. Maybe I can pick and choose what I want to start over, leaving some things the same and others behind.
If it were only that easy.
My mind has been set into survival mode for so long, always expecting the worse and ready to fight or flight, that it's weird to just relax. But I've decided, I can either live in the past, this constant state of suffering and fear, or I can put it behind me and just live. Instead of looking for something wrong all the time, I'm going to live my life the way I intend, the way I deserve to live. I'm going to be happy and the only way it's achievable is if I let go of my past and focus on my future. And that's exactly what I've been doing this past month. I've been letting my past go and keeping it in the past where it belongs and enjoying life with Christian and Teddy. Besides, Boyce can't find me here, I'm safe here, I'm safe with Christian.
There is something freeing about not being terrified of your own shadow.
It's been about a month since Christian and I ventured into this relationship, and everything has been going well for us. Not to mention Teddy is in heaven. I am too.
Sleeping with Christian, for some reason, I don't have any nightmares. Which is a relief, but I don't want to be depended on him.
The second night I slept with him, I continued to dream of us in the meadow. When I woke, Christian asked me what I was dreaming about because I was smiling. But I couldn't tell him. And not for the obvious reasons. Of course I wanted to tell him I dreamed we were married and Teddy was calling me mommy, but I also wanted it to stay mine, my fantasy, my dream, my reality. If I told him, it would be real that it was just a dream.
Being with Christian and Teddy is like a dream come true, like a fairytale. It's like I'm Cinderella, attending the ball with the Prince, only when midnight rolls around everything will go back to the way it was. Christian will still be Prince Charming but I'll go back to the poor girl who wears a rag for a dress that lives in a small cottage in the woods that's in need of repair. My fancy carriage will turn into a pumpkin with my fairy god-mother no where in sight. Sooner or later, everything will go back to the way it was before. It's almost like I'm going to wake up and be back in Detroit with him, like this is all just one big fantasy that I'm dreaming up, like he beat me so badly that I'm in a coma or something and this is what my unconscious state of mind is dreaming up.
It feels unreal. And like all fairytales, they aren't real. They are stories made up so we can escape reality. And that is exactly what I want, to escape reality.
Which is why I had to go home the next day.
I was conflicted and I needed time to think. I like Christian, but I don't want to need him. I've traveled down that road before and I never wanted to depend on a man again. Just like with Boyce, Christian can offer me so much more than I have. But the price I paid... I can't do it again. I realized there's a huge difference. I want to be with Christian, I don't need to be with him. I'm not with him to better my chances at surviving life.
Still, I don't want to depend on him so I didn't want to rush anything between us. However, that didn't last long...
I stayed with Christian until I had to work. When he dropped me off, I was a little nervous about telling him that I would be going back to my place since I knew he wanted me to come back to his. I told him I would stay with him on my next night off to soften the blow. He surprisingly was okay with it, if a little reluctant, but he asked that I take the cell phone he purchased for me when I watched Teddy awhile back. If it makes him feel better about 'leaving me alone in the woods so far away from him', as he put it, I gladly I agreed. We kissed and left it at that.
After work that day, Christian was waiting for me. He drove me home. Teddy was playing with Ava at Kate and Elliot's house so Christian was alone. I told Christian he didn't have to, but he insisted, saying he didn't like me walking home if he could drive me. I have a feeling he is going to work something out to where I now have a ride anywhere I go.
We hung out, made out and... of course, had mind-blowing sex. So mind-blowing in fact, that we broke my bed. It wasn't a very sturdy bed to begin with, but now it's just a mattress on the floor.
We laid in my small bed together until I started to get tired. Christian wanted to stay longer but had to get home for Teddy. I wrapped my robe around my naked body, too tired to get dressed, and walked him to the door, being sure to lock it after he left. He made me promise to call him before I went to sleep. I did.
That's when things got complicated.
After talking with Christian, I fell into a deep sleep. Something about his voice comforted me enough to continue dreaming of us in the meadow. It was great, the nightmares were gone, not only when I slept with Christian but when he wasn't with me at all. That is, until Boyce showed up at the meadow and it turned into an awful nightmare.
I woke in a panic, I could barely breath, and my heart was nearly pounding out of my chest. And to make matters worse, I heard a car coming down the gravel road at full speed.
Thankfully it was just Christian.
Apparently, I fell asleep before we ended the call, so Christian stayed on the line just to hear me breathe. I joked about it being creepy, but it was really sweet. Anyway, Christian said he thought someone broke into my 'shack' and was hurting me -he heard me having the nightmare through the phone- so he called his sister to watch Teddy and rushed over.
I couldn't believe it. He was so worried. I assured him everything was fine and reminded him of my nightmares. He said after hearing my nightmare, he wouldn't be comfortable leaving me alone and practically begged me to stay with him for his own peace of mind. The way he looked, so tortured and scared, I couldn't say no. As much as I don't want to depend on him, we need each other almost as much as we want each other. I agreed to stay with him more often than not, but reserved the right to keep my place.
I've been staying with Christian every since and haven't been back to my place yet.
That was about a month ago.
Since staying with Christian, I've gained a bit of healthy weight due to eating regularly, not to mention having a ride to and from work. I'm back to a healthy weight now and Christian seems to like it. Which is weird. Not that I'm healthy, but that I'm eating more. He seems obsessed with food, one of his many quirks, and wasn't thrilled to see my refrigerator practically empty. I've also not had a nightmare since that night, thank goodness, so I've been getting plenty of rest.
I may not be staying at my place, but I still pay rent there and still have my job.
Since I'm working today, Christian is driving me to the restaurant. We already dropped Teddy off with Grace because Christian has a business meeting in Seattle again. He wanted me to take the day off, watch Teddy at Escala, and for us to stay the night in Seattle like we did the last time. Sort of like a mini getaway. But I couldn't. I no longer work doubles so I need to work my regular scheduled hours. Christian has said that I don't have to work but he understands my need to.
Christian pulls into the restaurant parking lot. ... We're early so we sit in his SUV until I have to go inside. The parking lot isn't full, it's still early and the lunch shift hasn't started yet, but I know I'll be busy when it does. Weekends are usually the busiest but weekday lunches are just as busy.
"I should be home before dinner." Christian brings me from my thoughts. "This meeting isn't like the last one, it wont be long."
"Okay, I'll have dinner ready by the time you're home tonight."
I doubt he'll be home before I'm off so I'll have to walk to his place. I don't mind, it's been awhile since I have. Though his place is a lot further than mine from the restaurant. Perhaps I'll go to mine until he comes back and then he can pick me up on his way home.
I'm scanning the parking lot looking for anything out of place, as I always do, when Christian pulls my face to his and kisses me hard.
"You have no idea how hard it makes me to hear you say that." He whispers against my lips.
"Say what?" I breathe out. Cause I'll say it again.
He kisses me again, instead of answering my question. I get the idea that if he didn't have to go to Seattle for business and I didn't have to work, we'd be having sex in the car right this second.
We reluctantly pull away because we both have places to be.
"I'll see you later tonight, baby." He gives me one last chaste kiss.
"Drive safe." I say as I get out of the SUV.
Before I walk through the employee entrance, I look over my shoulder seeing the SUV still in it's spot, waiting for me to go inside. I can just barely make Christian out through the glare of the sun on his windshield. I give him a smile, a little wave and then make my way inside to start my shift.
I make my way to the back and clock in.
On my way, I see that Gail is here today. I like Gail, she's great, but her husband is the chief of police and he scares me. He always looks at me like he knows something. We've never spoken, but the impassive look he gives off, it's intimidating. I usually try to avoid him at all costs when he comes in to see her or pick up lunch.
Before the lunch rush arrives, I make sure everything is fully stocked and ready to go.
I like to over stock, especially when I know it will be busy, so I go to the stock room to grab extra napkins and straws for the drinks.
As I walk passed the open back door, I glance outside to where Christian was parked and see that his SUV is no longer there.
I'm still cautious, I think I always will be, but it's nice not to constantly look over my shoulder all the time.
Gathering a few packages of napkins, I don't turn around when I hear someone behind me. It's probably just Gail or another waitress.
"There you are."
I jump and turn around when I hear him behind me.
"I thought you left?"
"I forgot to tell you my mom is going to pick you up and take you and Teddy home after you're off."
"Oh. Okay. But you could've called."
"Then I wouldn't be able to do this."
Christian wraps his arms around my waist and since I have napkin packages in my hands, I try as best as I can to wrap mine around his neck.
"I'm tempted to reschedule this meeting." He whispers huskily.
"I still have to work." I remind him.
He lets out a low growl which causes me to giggle. Then he lowers his hands so he's grabbing my ass and pulling me close.
"Christian!" I giggle again and try to get away but he wont let me.
I let out a little squeal when he easily lifts me, pushing my back against the wall. His lips crash onto mine and I give into the kiss, if only just a little.
I'm the first to pull away. Even though we are in the back and nobody can see us, it's not very appropriate behavior. And even though his sister is the owner, I wouldn't want to lose my job or take advantage of the fact that I can do stuff like this because I'm... dating the owner's brother.
"Alright, I have to go." He sets me back down on my feet and gives my ass a playful slap. It leaves me wanting more.
Christian is very sweet and gentle when we have sex, with the exception of breaking my bed a month earlier, though the bed was old and not built very well. I no longer freak out when we're intimate, but he said he was a dominant so I know he was once a rough lover. I googled BDSM in the library and asked him a few more questions about it. I know I could never do half of the things described, but he said he enjoyed rough kinky sex. I kind of... want to try it.
He gives me one last longing kiss before he finally leaves, for real this time, and I get back to work.
When I finally come out of the stock room and look up at Gail, she's smiling at me. It's then I remember she was his house-manager in Seattle so she knew what kind of man he was before moving here. I'm not sure who he was before, but he told me he wasn't a romantic, hearts and flowers kind of guy. But like he told me before about my past, I want to know him now, not who he was.
...
In the middle of my shift, Taylor comes in to pick up his lunch order. I go out of my way to avoid helping him, to the point of hiding in the back, letting another waitress do it. Thankfully he's already ordered so he's only picking it up, which means he wont stay to eat, but he does stay longer than a usual pick up order since his wife is working.
The restaurant phone rings. I don't usually answer the phone, but since I'm in the back trying to avoid Taylor, I do.
"Thank you for calling Mama Mia's, may I help you?"
I wait for someone to respond, but no one does.
"Hello?"
Still nothing so I hang up.
Taylor has finally left so I'm about to go back out to the main room. Just as I'm about to walk away, the phone rings again.
"Thank you for calling Mama Mia's," I answer again. "This is Ana, may I help you?"
Again, it's silent on the other end.
"Hello?" I sing.
"Uh-" I finally hear someone. "Is- Is Mia available?"
The voice sounds familiar but I can't place it. I'm sure they've been in here before.
"No, I'm sorry, she's not here today. You could try her cell or I could take a message?"
"Thank you, dear. I'll call her cell."
"No problem."
I hang up and continue working.
...
When the lunch shift finally ends, I'm exhausted. We were extremely busy today, which means I made good tips. I still pay my rent, even though I've been staying with Christian, but it's nice to have a little more than usual left over since I don't have to buy groceries or necessities. If I need anything, Christian makes sure I have it.
I'm waiting on the bench outside for Grace, since Christian said she was going to pick me up, but she's running a bit late. I'm glad I don't have to wait at my place until he's back from his meeting. It's hot today and I don't have air.
It doesn't take long for a luxury, cream-colored SUV to pull into the parking lot.
The car parks in Mia's reserved spot, close to the back entrance and where I'm waiting. I see Grace in the driver's seat so I know it's her. But when the back passenger door opens, I'm surprised to see Kate getting out.
"Hey, Ana." Kate greets me.
"Hi." I smile as I climb into the back with her.
Grace is driving, Mia is in the front passenger seat and Kate is in the back with me. They must've had a girls day today.
"Thank you for the ride, Grace."
"It's no problem, dear." She smiles kindly at me through the rear-view mirror and starts to drive away from the restaurant.
"I hope you weren't waiting too long for us." Grace adds.
"I wasn't," I answer truthfully. "I just finished a couple minutes before you pull up."
"That's good."
"Where's Teddy?" I ask, not only because he's not with them but because his car seat is not in the car.
"He's with Elliot and Ava." Kate is the one to answer.
"We were picking up our dresses in the next town over." Mia tells me of their day. "Coping Together, a charity event we host, is Saturday. Did you get your dress yet?"
"Um." I have no idea what she is talking about.
"Grandma is still coming, right?" Kate asks Grace, helping me avoid Mia's question.
"Yes, she and grandpa will be attending." Grace smiles. "She's feeling much better than last month."
"She called me earlier," Mia says.
"Oh," That reminds me. "Someone called the restaurant asking for you, Mia. I told her she could leave a message, but she didn't. She said she'd call your cell."
"Yeah, that was probably her."
Kate and Mia start to go on and on about their gowns and how they will do their hair and makeup this year.
I just sit back and let them converse about this event and who will be attending.
"Well, I think we could all use a salon visit." Grace says as she makes a right turn.
I'm not sure where Elliot, Ava and Teddy are, but I have a feeling it was left instead of right. When she said that, I assumed it was in relation to Kate and Mia's conversation.
When Grace pulls up to a salon, I realize she means now and not for the event they are attending next weekend.
"Uh-" How do I say I don't have enough money to visit a salon with them. I'm sure this is a high-end salon and I can't even afford someone doing hair and nails in their own home. Even though I could use a salon visit, it's definitely not in my budget for the foreseeable future. Sure I have extra money, since I'm no longer saving every penny, but I've been spending it on Teddy and little things here and there. No way do I have enough for something this extravagant.
"Don't worry," Kate senses my dilemma. "Grace has a deal with the owner. New clients she brings in are free."
"Anything for Grace Grey." Mia giggles.
It does relax me. And I did make pretty good tips today so I could just tip the employee since I'm not paying for anything. If Christian had it his way, I wouldn't pay for anything myself. I do accept his help, I appreciate it, but I don't want to be completely dependent on him and he knows that. I've accepted so much from him already.
I guess it could be nice to treat myself for once.
We all exit the vehicle and walk into the salon.
Once a man notices Grace, he rushes to kiss her cheeks and greet all whom she brought. He has a funny accent that I can't place, and he seems to know Mia and Kate well, but obviously he wouldn't know me.
"And who is this?" He holds both of my hands. It makes me a little uncomfortable, but I don't pull away. I wouldn't want to be rude.
Thankfully Grace answers for me,
"This is my son Christian's girlfriend. Ana." She introduces me proudly. "Ana, this is Don, he owns the salon."
"Christian?" He asks surprised, finally letting my hands go to hold his chest.
I nod and wrap my arms around myself so he wont reach for my hands again.
Though Christian and I have made our relationship official, it's still weird hearing it. If his family only knew who I really was, I don't think they would be so thrilled to announce my status with Christian. I know he's a grown man and can make his own decisions, but I'm sure they wouldn't approve of me. Not to mention, if I'm found, the potential danger I bring along.
"You, sweetheart, are mine." Since my arms are wrapped around my body, he reaches for my elbow and pulls me with him like he just found the secret recipe to making his business a success.
I look back at the girls I came with and they are already going off with other workers. Grace is getting her hair fixed, Mia is getting her nails done, and Kate is touching up her roots.
The man, who Grace introduced as Don, sits me in a chair directly in front of a mirror.
"You have very beautiful hair, darling girl," He plays with my hair, running his fingers through it and fanning it out, "But whoever cut it last, messed it up."
"That would be me." I admit.
"Oh." He seems surprised. "No, no, no, no. We cannot have this. I will fix you right up. That man of yours will be left drooling by the time I'm finished."
I giggle at the vibe he's giving off. He's obviously gay. I think. Kate did assume Christian is gay and he is most definitely not gay.
He asks if there's anything specific that I want, but I don't. I just don't want it too short and I don't like layers, other than that, he's free to go wild. Tame, but wild.
As he works, we make small talk. Very, small talk.
I don't give too much away about myself, as always. I tell him a little about my job, that Mia is my boss, and that I moved here to have a fresh start. The same thing I tell anyone who asks. But I don't volunteer anything or start the conversation. The only thing I told him willingly is that he and my father share the same name.
It's an awkward silence between us, with him trying to get me to open up and talk and me not wanting to say anything at all.
Then he asks about Christian.
That's when I open up a bit more. I tell him a little about our relationship, not much, and how I adore Christian's son Teddy. And once I bring up Teddy, I can't stop smiling and talking about the adorable four year old.
If it wasn't for Teddy, I don't think I would've stayed here as long as I did, or gave his father a chance.
"...and then Teddy said that if people threw tomatoes in the can, it would hurt." I finish telling him about the time we watched a movie where the characters were throwing tomatoes. I assured Teddy that the tomatoes were soft so they didn't hurt anyone but it still wasn't nice to throw them at people. Of course the comment he made in return about them being in a can was too funny, and I had to agree, it would hurt if they were in the can.
"There." Don turns me around to face the mirror so I can see the finished look of my hair.
"Wow." I can't stop turning my head and touching my soft hair. It's beautiful and it looks amazing. I can't wait for Christian to see me.
I try to tip Don but he wont accept it. Instead he tells me he will come by the restaurant and I can treat him to a slice of apple pie. It doesn't seem like a very fair trade, but I agree.
Since I was the last to finish, the girls are enjoying a mimosa while Grace chats with her stylist. When they see I'm done, they all rave about my hair. I happily take the complaints but I'm excited to see Christian's reaction. Just thinking about him as me giddy, I hope he's home soon.
"Teddy is at my house," Grace says to me as we make our way towards her car. "Why don't you and Teddy have dinner with us, Christian can pick you both up from there?"
"Oh," I'm a little surprised by her offer. Christian and Teddy have dinner there but usually when I'm working. If I'm not working, Christian and Teddy have dinner at home with me.
I don't really want to have dinner with them. It's not that I don't like them, they're great, but I don't want them to know about my past and not approve. I'd hate to be caught in the middle between Christian and his family. But Christian assured me that his family wont mind and that his choice to be with me has nothing to do with his family's approval or not. He said it's up to me if they know, but it changes nothing.
In the car on the way to Grace's house, I check the phone Christian returned to me and see he sent me a text.
I'm on my way home, baby. I'll see you and Teddy soon. -C
I'm just now on my way to get Teddy. We'll be at your parents house. Can you pick us up on your way home? x -A
And what, prey tell, have you been doing while I've been gone? -C
It's a surprise. x -A
Lucky for you, I like surprises. -C
I smile at his text. Another comes through so I read it.
I'm about to drive -leaving Seattle now- so I'll talk to you laters. -C
Drive safe! x -A
Always. x -C
Before I know it, Grace is pulling into a driveway and parks her car.
Their home is about the same size as Christian's, not too big and not too small, still very luxurious.
I follow the girls inside and take in how beautiful everything is.
"You have a very beautiful home, Grace."
"Thank you, dear."
We enter the kitchen where two men I've never met before can be seen though the large windows, working a grill outside. Teddy is playing with little Ava in what looks like a sandbox a few feet away, a safe distance from the grill.
"Ana, I want you to meet my husband." Kate grabs my attention and pulls me with her outside.
"Elliot!" Kate calls to her husband.
The younger blonde guy turns around and smiles at her, but when he sees me it's like he is seeing something for the first time, something that doesn't usually exist, a rarity. It makes me blush. He smiles kindly at me and makes his way over to us. The man with him, who I now assume is Christian's father, follows behind him.
"Ana, this is Elliot Grey." Kate proudly introduces us. "He's my husband and Christian's older brother. Elliot, this is Ana."
"I've heard a lot about you." He admits. It worries me because I know Christian wouldn't say anything but I did tell Kate a lot about my 'friend' from back home when I was drinking with her a while back. I know she knows I was talking about myself, but I'm not sure who all she told. She said she wouldn't say anything, and didn't say anything to Christian. But Christian was interested in me, Elliot is her husband, surely she said something to him about it.
"Oh?"
"All good things." He assures me.
Suddenly, he steps towards me. I'm not sure what his intentions are so I take a subtle yet noticeable step back and he stops. He doesn't seem to mind though, he's still smiling.
"It's nice to meet you, Elliot." I finally say with a smile, not wanting him to think anything about my not wanting to be touched.
"You must be Ana," The other man, I presume to be Christian's father, finally joins us.
"Yes, sir."
He looks to Grace, giving her a questioning look. She winks at him and then he turns his smile back to me.
"It's very lovely to meet you, my dear."
"It's nice to meet you as well, Mr. Grey."
"Please, call me Carrick." He insists.
After I've been introduced, I try to make myself invisible, but they're all standing around me, all staring at me like I'm sort of exhibit. I wish Christian were here.
"So-" Carrick begins, but before he can say another word, Teddy has now noticed me and is calling my attention.
"Ana!" Teddy cheers.
I give him a little wave hello and excuse myself from the adults so I can head towards Teddy, thankful to get away from their curious questions that I'm sure they are wanting answers for.
"Ava, this my Ana!"
My heart has officially melted.
"Hi, Ava." I say to the cute little girl as I sit in the sand with them. "I'm Ana."
She smiles but doesn't say anything. She has a princess Barbie doll in her hand and next to Teddy is a GI Joe action figure.
I'm sure Christian's family is watching us, but I don't look back to check.
"What are you guys doing?" I ask Teddy as I start to play in the sand with them.
"We are building a tower." Teddy fills me in. "A pwincess is gonna be in there and she needs her pwince to save her."
"So she's a damsel in distress and needs saving?"
"Uh-" Teddy looks confused at first but then he agrees.
I'm still new at this, I've not been around children before Teddy, but I'm getting the hang of it, I think. I even read him bedtime stories and put him to bed some nights, too.
"Why can't the princess ever save herself?" I ask the children. "Why does she always need saving?"
"Because it's the pwince's job to be the knight in shinning arbor."
"You mean, armor?" I giggle at the mispronunciation of the word.
We continue to build up the tower until it is as tall as Teddy insists it to be. Then Teddy tells Ava to put her princess at the top. I can tell he has his father's CEO gene, he likes to be in charge.
"The pwince is gonna run to the tower and save her before anything bad happens." He explains as he now grabs his action figure.
"What if the prince doesn't get there in time? Can the princess save herself then?"
"No. That's not how it works." He frowns at the thought. "The pwince is fast. He has fast shoes."
"Fast shoes?" I giggle at his explanation. Oh gosh, what if the prince takes his fast shoes off?
"Yup, just like my dad. He has fast shoes, nobody can catch him, not even uncle Lelliot when they play football."
"Okay," I ask another question, "What if the prince can't find the princess because the bad guy moved her to a different tower and the prince goes to the wrong tower?"
"Ana," He says my name exasperated. "Don't wowwy about it. My daddy will save you."
"What?"
"My daddy is yo pwince."
"I think so too." I smile at him and watch as he and Ava play together.
After awhile, Kate joins us and says dinner is ready.
Together, we all walk back to the patio. I'm thankful to have Teddy with me now, hopefully they wont ask me anything too probing with little ones around.
"I wanna sit by my Ana." Teddy announces. "She's mine."
I giggle at how possessive he is over me.
"No," I hear a deep masculine voice behind me, correcting Teddy, "She's mine."
I turn around surprised to hear him.
"Christian!" I run over, smiling, so happy to see him.
"What did you do to your hair?" He asks me when I'm in his arms, keeping one arm around me while the other hand plays with my hair.
"I went to a salon with your mother and sisters." I explain apprehensively. "Do you like it?"
"Do you like it?" He turns my question back to me.
"Yes."
"Then I love it."
He gives me a chaste kiss then greets his family, all while keeping me close to him. He knows how to make me comfortable, and I love that.
Once again, I am seated between Christian and Teddy.
"Christian, are you taking Ana to Coping Together as your date?" Mia wants to know. I admit, I'm curious about this event myself.
"No." His curt reply has me wondering if I did something wrong. I try not to let it get to me but I'm not sure why he wouldn't want me to go with him.
"Why not?" She asks. "You're still going, aren't you?"
"Probably not."
"But you go every year," Mia whines when she thinks her brother wont attend. "Why wouldn't you go this year? And now you have an actual date, paps will go crazy!"
"Paps?" Is that like their grandfather or something?
"Paparazzi." Christian explains with a subtle hint. And it's then that I know why he's not taking me with. If my photo were to show up in the magazines or online, I would be found within seconds. But that still doesn't mean Christian shouldn't attend if his family hosts the event and he goes every year.
"I could watch Teddy, and Ava too if you'd like, while you all go." I offer.
"Gail usually watches the kids," Mia says, "You should come with and enjoy the event."
"Mia." Christian says her name in warning, giving her a look that says drop it. She pouts but doesn't say anything more about it.
"I'm sure Ava would like that." Kate says trying to break the tension between Christian and Mia.
We all start eating. The guys start to talk about sports, Grace, Mia and Kate continue to talk about Coping Together, Ava and Teddy are still going on about the prince saving the princess in the tower. They converse with me too, but for the most part, I'm quiet.
It's nice, not something I'm use to but I could definitely get use to it. You can definitely feel the love with this family. I find myself wondering how they were before they moved here and how much it's changed them, but something tells me they haven't changed too much. Maybe just Christian, compared to what he told me about his life before Teddy. I remember he said he rarely visited his parents or hung out with his siblings, now he sees them often.
After we finish eating, we say our goodbyes and then Christian drives us back to his house. Teddy is drifting to sleep in the back seat while Christian and I are chatting in the front.
"Are you not going to that event because of me?" I ask him once we're alone.
"Baby-" He begins, but I know it's true and he's going to assure me that it's fine he misses it.
"Christian, I heard your sister, you go every year. I don't want to hold you back from doing things you normally do."
"It's my choice."
"I understand that, but I feel really bad because I know you're not going because of me."
He sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair.
"Are you sure you don't mind watching the kids?" Christian gives in.
He now has one hand on the wheel, the other on my thigh. It feels as if my insides are on fire. I'm so horny, more so than I've ever been before. I want him, I always want him, but especially now when he's touching me. I can't think when he's touching me.
"I don't mind." I breathe, trying to sound normal. I don't want to be turned on right now, especially with his son in the backseat.
"Gail and Taylor usually watch the kids. They don't live too far, I'll leave you their number. If you need anything for any reason, call them first and then call me."
"Okay. I will." I really don't think I will, Taylor is a police officer, the towns chief of police to be exact. It frightens me enough when he comes into the restaurant to see Gail.
"Maybe we'll stay in Seattle instead. It's safer there anyway and you'll be closer to me. We can go Friday and come back Sunday morning."
"Whatever is fine, I don't work this weekend."
Christian gently massages my thigh, his hand moving higher and higher up. His thumb rubs the inside of my thigh and causes my panties to dampen. I have to bite my lip to keep my thoughts in check, but really I just want to jump him right now. Why am I so horny all of a sudden? Is it because he's a sex-god?
He smirks when I squirm in my seat. He knows exactly what he's doing.
When arrive home, well, Christian's home... Christian carries Teddy inside and to his room.
I head to Christian's room and wait for him in bed. I have no idea why I want this so badly tonight, we've had sex nearly every night since I've been staying with him and almost every morning if Teddy is still sleeping when we wake. I'm already naked and waiting, nearly panting in anticipation when he finally walks into the room.
He smirks when he sees that I'm already naked. I love when he undresses me, but I'm not in the mood to wait tonight.
Christian takes off his shirt and pants on the way to the bed.
I kneel up, so I'm level with him, start kissing him and running my hand along the length of him. I can feel how hard he's becoming and it's even more arousing. I'm so wet for him.
He moans against my mouth, running his hands all over my body.
Looping my hands on the inside of his boxer briefs, I tug them down. He steps out of them and gently pushes me back onto the bed.
Once I'm laying down, he crawls on top of me, kissing his way up. I'm so glad I don't freak out with him anymore.
He stops at my sex, pushes his nose into me and inhales deeply.
"Mmmm, baby, you smell delicious."
The next thing I know, he's attacking me. He holds me under my knees so my legs are spread wide for him and then he runs his tongue along my slit. My body immediately reacts, Christian is very skilled at sex.
I'm enjoying the feel of him, licking, sucking, nibbling. Then he adds his fingers to the mix and begins rubbing me hard. My hips naturally move on their own. I have one hand fisted in the sheets and the other in his hair. I'm so close. And then he does the unthinkable; he smacks the side of my ass and I about lose it.
"Oh my god!"
"Fuck!" He whispers, pulling away from me just as I was on the edge of release.
"No!" I shout upset that I didn't get off. "Christian!"
"I'm sorry, baby." He quickly crawls up my body so we're eye to eye, obviously mistaking my arousal for something else.
"Don't stop, Christian! I was almost there!"
"What?"
"Christian, I was about to freaking cum and you pulled away. Why?!"
"I-" He blinks dumbfounded. "I lost control."
"What do you mean?"
"I've been done with that lifestyle for awhile now, but it's still deep within me. It arouses me, but I know your past and I didn't mean to."
"Christian, what the heck are you talking about?" We didn't do anything BDSM related, did we?
"I spanked you."
"I'd hardly call that a spanking. And it turned me on too. I liked it."
"What?" Now he really looks confused.
"I know I wouldn't be able to do half of what you're use to, but it would be interesting to try some of the kinky things. I've looked up things online at the library, and... to be honest, some of it really scared me, but other things looked interesting. You said you were a dominant so you would know how to do it without going too far, right. And I'd only ever want to do this with you."
"Ana," He shakes his head. "I- I don't really know what to say. Yes, I'm aroused by that, but I'm done with that lifestyle. And you- Well..."
"It's okay, just forget it."
"No," He sits up so he's kneeling between my legs. "Baby, if you want to add spankings to our sex life, I'll gladly turn your ass a delectable shade of pink with my hand, plenty of couples play, but are you sure you want to do this?"
"I know the difference," I say, knowing he's cautious about my past. "You explained it to me and I... I want you to fuck me harder."
"Baby." He groans with a growl, then crashes his lips to mine. "If it's too much, just say so and I'll stop. I might get a little excited."
I giggle at him but stop when he suddenly flips me over so I'm laying on my stomach.
"On your hands and knees." He commands me, grabbing my hips and helping me get into position. His voice is a lot gentler than I thought a dominant would sound. Not that he's being a dominant right now, he's my lover, but he still has that commanding tone in his voice, almost CEO firm, to let me know he's in control and powerful. It's different, and hard to explain. I can hear his adoration but also his dominance in the tone he's using.
Once I'm on my hands and knees, he begins rubbing my ass with both of his hands.
"Christian." I moan, squirming with need.
I don't know what to expect, but I thought he would get right into spanking me. Instead, I feel his tongue on me again.
"Christian." I moan louder as a gush of wetness leaks out of me.
He keeps his mouth on my sex, moaning and working his tongue. I finally feel him smack my ass. It's not hard, like he's testing the waters, but it's just as arousing as when he did it before.
He continues to lick and suck, smacking my ass randomly.
"Oh god." I push my ass back further and spread my legs wider for him.
"Mmmmm." He moans against my sex. "You taste delicious, baby."
Another smack to my ass that leaves me wet and wanting more.
He pulls away just as I'm about to cum. I growl into the mattress and grasp the sheets. This is the second time he's stopped right when I was on the edge of falling into oblivion.
"I can't wait to devour you." He starts to kiss my ass, continuing up to the small of my back. "I can't wait to be inside of you."
Hearing the familiar sound of a foil packet being opened gets me wet. I'm so ready for this.
I push back against him when I feel the head of his dick touch my entrance, but he smacks my ass again.
"Don't move."
"Yes, sir." I purr, knowing that dominant men like to be referred to as such. I looked it up. I also saw that Dominants like to be referred to as Master, but I don't think I could ever call him that. While playing, I can definitely call him Sir. But only while playing.
"Oh fuck, Ana." Without further ado, he thrusts inside of me until he's buried deep.
I moan loudly at the feel of him. It's the fastest he's ever entered me and I feel all of him so deep inside of me.
"You want me to fuck you, baby?" He asks, pulling out slowly.
"Yes." I beg.
He smacks my ass again before he thrusts back inside, slow this time.
"Hard?" He asks, circling his hips this time.
"Oh, yes."
I moan when he pulls out slowly again, but when he thrusts back inside, I push back against him. It's torturously slow. He smacks my ass and reprimands me for moving.
With every strike of his hand on my ass, I get more aroused and the wetter I become. But he's moving so slowly, I thought he was going to be a bit rougher.
"Keep quiet and hold on." He warns me.
He pulls back slowly, just like he normally would, but when he pushes forward, he does it so hard and fast that I'm thrown forward.
I place my hands flat on his headboard to give me balance and control, then I push back onto him just as hard so I'm meeting him thrust for thrust.
He slams into me now, again and again, smacking my ass a few more times at random intervals. I'm never expecting it and every smack has me crying out in ecstasy. He checks that I'm okay but after the third time and my, "YES! YES! Just fuck me!" he continues without checking.
We move fast together, pounding relentlessly.
I'm so close, again, and he must feel it because he slams into me, reaches around and plays with my clit while he circles his hips again and again, grinding into me harder and harder.
"Christian!" I cry out, desperate for him to keep going so I can finally cum. "Please! Please, don't stop!"
"Cum for me, baby."
I cry out as a wave hits me hard and I convulse around him. My body is naturally milking him, squeezing tighter than before.
I'm clawing at the sheets trying desperately to get away and get closer at the same time. He grabs my hips and pushes in as deep as he can, so I can feel him cuming with me. He's now practically on top of me and pushing me into the mattress. I keep my back arched but I can barely move so it's all him.
"Ana." He calls my name.
When he's finished he pulls out and I collapse onto the bed, exhausted.
He didn't spank me like I saw online, he incorporated it into the sex. And the sex wasn't that rough, it was hard but gentle. I'd definitely add kinky sex to the list. I want to try more, explore more. And what better teacher than an ex-dominant.
"How do you feel?" Christian asks me.
I didn't even realize he had cleaned up. I'm still laying on my stomach as he lays beside me, now rubbing lotion on my behind.
"Amazing." I draw out the word.
"Your ass looks amazing." He compliments and then kisses my bottom. "Beautiful."
"I didn't expect it to be like that." I say, turning my head so I'm now facing him, resting my head on my crossed arms.
"It's because you trust me, baby. Though that spanking was done in a vanilla context, BDSM is... different." He says cautiously.
I'm starting to understand more and more, like even though Christian use to beat women, it wasn't abuse because they wanted it and were aroused by it. Though he didn't spank me very hard, or with any implement, I can see why they were turned on when he would do something like that to them. I could never go far with experimenting his old lifestyle, but I could enjoy a light spanking every now and then as well as a few sex toys.
"You're quite the kinky prince charming." I purr as I climb over and straddle him.
"Dark prince is more like it." He holds onto my hips as he eye fucks my naked body.
"My dark prince." I lean down and kiss him. "I can only imagine what more you could do to me."
"Mmmm." He moans as I kiss him again. "I could show you."
I giggle as he flips us over and begins to kiss me hard.
When will I wake up from this dream? When will this fairytale end? I don't know, but I hope it never does. I'm not ready to give this up. I'm not sure if I ever will be.
Being with Christian is like living in a dream.