Fifth chapter people. Let's see how well Erica/me can get through this.

Disclaimer: I own none of these guys.

Me and Church stood at the middle of the canyon, waiting for Lav to emerge from the exit we were looking at – though, I was the only one nervous. I came up with a plan, literally, at the spur of the moment. What the hell was I thinking?!

At the corner of my eye, Church looked over at me. "Hey, are you sure this plan will work?"

I just gave him a bored look. "Are you sure that your initial plan will work?"

"Hey, if this plan fucks up, I know who to blame."

"And if it works?"

"Keyword 'if' is used here."

"Hmm, good point."

At that moment, Lav came tumbling out of the teleporter, his armor black and slightly smoking – I can't help but wince slightly at the impact. "Are you okay, Tucker?"

"Yeah I'm fine," he said, wincing as he stood up. "Goddamn that hurts!" I heard him mutter that to himself before he turned back to the Blue Base. "Come on, Caboose!"

"Does it hurt?" Mikey called out to us.

"No, not at all," that's bullshit, and you know it, Lav.

"Okay! Here I come," Mikey yelled back, and I saw him enter the teleporter.

After a beat, Church asked Lav, "Does it hurt for real?"

"Oh, yeah, big time," was his answer. Dickhead.

I looked over at the teleporter, and a few seconds later, Mikey emerged, his armor in the similar state as Lav's. "Owwwwchie!" He cried out, falling to his knees.

"Mikey! Are you okay?" I asked him, concerned as I got to my knees to look him over.

"Yeah…" He whimpered, before he glared at Lav. "You lied to me."

The aqua – now black – armored man merely shrugged. "Well, you wouldn't do it unless I told you it didn't hurt."

"He's got a point, Caboose," Church agreed with him.

"That's still a dick move, you guys," I said as I helped Mikey up.

"Okay, you two, start moving around in front of Red Base," Church said to the two of them, then looked over at me. "You're with me."

"Yes sir," I sighed before the four of us split off to do our tasks.

I mostly followed Church, and taking care to keep out of sight of Sarge and Lopez. This is really, really important after all – I could potentially die- I suddenly froze behind the rock I was hiding at when that thought hit me. I… oh shit. I could…I could actually die out here.

Shit, why dump me in a place full of idiots that have some shit happening nearly every fifteen minutes? ? Dammit!

"Hey rookie!" I nearly jumped when I heard the radio go off.

"Uh, y-yes?" I asked shakily.

"Get over here, hurry!" I quickly ran over to where Church is and hid out of the Reds' sight.

I looked over the side, seeing two men – one in red armor, and the other in brown – standing at the top of the base, looking out to the canyon. "…I hope Lav and Mikey will be okay…" I muttered.

"They'll be fine. They'll-" Church paused bit. "Wait. 'Lav' and 'Mikey'?" He repeated.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Lav for Lavernius, and Mikey for Michael."

"Wait- who-who's Lavernius? Caboose?"

"No man, Mikey is Caboose's first name," I answered. Church stared at me. "…What?"

"Tucker is black?" He muttered to himself, dumbfounded. "Huh. Actually, I should've pick up on that years ago…"

I raised my eyebrow. "Lav's been with you longer than we have, and yet you didn't know his first name?"

"Hey, no one is perfect, okay?" Church retorted at me. "…and why have you been calling them by their first name?"

"Well, I'm more used to calling everyone else by their first," I shrugged. "Just as my full name is Erica Helms, I prefer to be called by my first name. So, to make it fair, I call them by their first names…only with nicknames, y'know?"

"…Right," Church said, before he turned back to Red Base with a copy of the sniper rifle. …He didn't even bother to notice that he just materialized that thing out of nowhere? I didn't bother to point it out – he'll just say that it's probably just a weird 'ghostly' power he has.

I peeked out from beside the rock Church is at, just seeing Grif go out of the base to get to Sarge. "Hey, Tucker," Church said to the radio, "Come in, man. You there? This is Church. It's working. The orange one is coming out of the base. I repeat, the orange one is coming out of the base."

After a bit, Church nodded. "Okay, now just keep moving around outside of the base, and draw their attention." There was a beat. "I said, just keep movin-."

Curious, I opened up my comm. to listen. "-just telling you to let me finish talking to Church," Lav said to Mikey. "…No, I'll tell him you said 'hi' later. No, you can't talk to him. How could you possibly talk to him on my headset?" I wonder… I mentally thought in sarcasm.

I turned off my comm. at the same time as Church, who just let out a sigh. "Oh my god. I can't believe I actually died for this war."

"Well, at least you weren't team killed," I told him as we made our way towards the base.

"Yeah, I guess that's true." We soon found ourselves pressed against the wall of the Red Base, waiting for the Reds to make their move. "Okay…how do we get their Sergeant's attention?"

I paused. "…uh… I haven't thought that far ahead," I admitted.

"…WHAT?" I winced when Church shouted that. "You didn't-?! Oh, that's just real great!"

"What? You're the one who agreed to this!" I retorted.

"Yeah, but that's because I thought you thought this all the way through!" Church then sighed, annoyed. "That's just fan–fucking–tastic!"

"It's like you said: no one is perfect!" I exclaimed.

"Hey! What the hell is that racket?!" We froze when we heard a Southern accent shout. We automatically pressed ourselves to the wall and looked up, seeing Sarge coming up to the edge of the wall and looked around. "Hmm…I could've sworn I heard voices over here…"

The two of us gave each other a glance. "So what now, oh great leader?" I hissed through my teeth.

"Just…go towards the ramp," he whispered. "Make as much noise as possible."

"What?!" I harshly whispered.

"Eh, it's probably my imagination," Sarge then said. I looked up in time to see him lowering his shotgun. "Well, we better go and do something about the Special Ops soldiers in front of our base." …Shit!

I sighed before I stepped out. "Hey! You!"

"What the-?" Sarge turned back and looked down at me. "A Blue! I should've known!"

"C'mon!" Church exclaimed and I wordlessly followed him to where the ramp is. Shit, here we go again…!

I panting as I hurried after Church – but I'm also scared out of my mind (yet again) – and I just got to the ramp when Sarge jumped down in front of me, pointing his business end of his shotgun at me. "Freeze, ya dirty Blue!"

I yelped, jumping back. I scrambled to pull out my gun and pointed at him. "Don't move!" I shouted.

"What the-?" Sarge lowered his gun. "A lady? Aw, dagnabit! First the one in black appears, and now this one?"

I raised my brow. "…You have a problem with girls?"

"No!" Sarge said. "The other one is dangerous but you- I can't hurt a girl!"

Oh yeah…I forgot about that. Still, I can't believe my luck as I lowered my pistol, amazed. "Seriously?"

Sarge was about to say something- until Church went into him. "Hgeekagerger!" Sarge exclaimed as Church worked his, um, magic. …It was actually pretty disturbing to see how his body…twitched like that.

"Uh…are…you okay?" I slowly asked, as Sarge – err, Church-Sarge shook his head.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine," Church said through Sarge. "Anyway, this isn't what I expected, but I'll take it."

"Me too," I agreed. Then I looked up. "Now…we just gotta make it convincing."

~o~

It took a bit to help Church 'act' as Sarge before we went up there, with my hands behind my head and my pistol confiscated. As we reached Grif and Lopez, the orange clad man (and wow, he really is fat) turned to us. "What the- who the hell is this?" He asked as Lopez looked over at us.

"Uh…" I heard Church let out before he cleared his throat. "I just caught this damn dirty Blue slinking around the base! I'll just put this prisoner down there with the other one!"

Grif looked over at us for a moment…then shrugged. "Eh, okay," he said, turning around. Lopez just shook his head at the lazy orange and looked back out.

…Church and I gave each other incredulous looks – neither of us could believe that this actually worked! Or of the fact that the Reds are full of idiots (like that's anything new…).

"…Right then," Church said before the two of us went into the Red Base.

As it turns out, it has the same mechanism as Blue Base. Church just got near one of the doors and it opened (though, Church should've thought about how suspicious it is that the two bases are designed the same…) allowing us to go through to the prison sector of the base. The two of us looked around the hallway we were walking down.

"Okay," Church began. "Let's split up and search for the prison sector of the base."

I nodded wordlessly and the two of us split up.

I looked around the places I was in, peeking into rooms – showing a kitchen, a bed room, a medical ward, a washroom, and the armory (I quickly looked around for some rifles but the only ones I found are rusty and in need of repairs, so I just left them). It wasn't long until I found myself into a room…

…and I had to hide quickly to avoid being seen, and I just watched as Simmons and Church talked to each other as Tex merely watched. "…got me so god damn mad, I could spit!" Then Church proceeded to hock up and spit onto Sarge's visor.

I palmed my visor at the stupidity I just witnessed.

"Uh…right then, sir," Simmons let out, not only disgusted but also really confused. "But, seriously," Simmons turned around to Tex, "I'm starting to think that-" Church then acted quickly, punching Simmons at the back of his head. "OW, geez, the back of my head!" Was the last thing he cried out before he slumped to the floor.

"What the hell are you doing?" Tex let out – oh, the voice modifier is gone. Hello Tex's female voice – surprised by this.

I stepped out of the shadows as Church worked to spring Tex out. "Oh, you found her," I said as I walked over Simmons. "Cool."

Tex looked over at me (though I couldn't help but flinch when she did so). "Hey, aren't you that girl I saw earlier back at Blue Base?"

"Yeah, uh, she's helping me spring you out, Tex," Church explained as the cell opened. "Anyway, it's me, Church! We've come to rescue you."

Tex looked over at Church. "You're kind of short to be Church," she pointed out.

"What?" Church asked in confusion.

I looked over at him. "You're using the Red's body to get in here," I reminded him.

"Oh yeah, right, I knew that," Church said before he stepped out of Sarge's body.

"Hurk!" The man yelped as he came back to reality. I watched as he stumbled backwards and then looked around in confusion. "What in Sam Hell? Where the- Who spat on my visor?" Thankfully, he turned the other way (since I'm at his left) to take off his helmet and began to clean his visor. I wanted to see what he looks like but…I stepped a couple of inches away from him to avoid being seen.

I caught part of Church's explanation when I returned my attention back to them. "-possessed this Red guy so that the two of us can sneak into the Base and rescue you while the rest of our guys run around out in the middle of the canyon dressed in black armor that they got from going through the teleporter."

Spirit my ass.

I glanced over at Tex as she was silent for a moment then she simply said, "Okay."

"What? That's it?" Church cried out in surprise as she stepped out of the cell. "Okay? You're not surprised by any of this?"

"No," Tex replied with a shrug, as she grabbed her weapons the Reds confiscated from her. "It pretty much all makes sense."

"Not even the whole 'Church is a ghost' thing?" Church asked and – holy crap, what the fuck is that?! – I shuddered after the experience. "That didn't do anything for you?"

"I can see right through you," Tex pointed out. "It's pretty obvious."

I was still trying to get over that…weird thing that I just went through as I put my hand over my abdomen, to make a witty response. "…I can't believe you fucking did that!" I let out, glaring at Church.

He just shrugged. "Well, I have to prove my point."

I just flipped him off.

"Anyway, let me hop back into this guy and we'll get outta here," Church said, looking over at Sarge (who just finished cleaning his helmet and placed it back on) and went back into his body.

'…Uh, that sounds kind of wrong right there…' I thought, feeling a bit of a blush on my face.

Then we proceeded out of the base. But when we got to the flag room, I just remembered something. "Wait," I called out.

The two AIs looked over at me. "What is it now?" Church asked me.

I looked up at the roof…then back at them. "You wanna fuck with these guys by causing some…chaos?" I asked them with a smirk on my face. "You know, as a bit of revenge for what you guys went through?"

The two of them gave each other a look, then back at me. "You know…I think you might be on to something," Church said with a smirk in his voice. "I'd like a little pay back for what happened earlier."

But Tex seemed skeptical. "What exactly are you going to do?"

I simply looked over at Church…and smirked. "…Have you guys heard of Caramelldansen?"

~o~

Around Red Base, each team is keeping an eye out for trouble…well, one of them mostly. The orange clad man is bored out of his skull. Dexter Grif yawned, then smacked his lips a little.

"…Well, this is boring," he muttered. He glanced over at Lopez but turned back. The whole time that he had known Lopez, he hardly spoke at all. He must've been those strong, silent types – and he's pretty good with machines.

…It did seem odd that he drinks oil. Plus, Grif was pretty sure that he had never heard of any new recruits before Donut came along – not that he pays attention to the looney old man (him and his crazy orders) but there are times where he DOES pay attention…but he'd rather piss off the old man than to do whatever he says. Anyway, he was pretty sure that he didn't hear about Lopez being their new recruit or something – the guy just appeared out of nowhere one day.

…Ah well, he's mostly bored. He usually has Simmons to talk with and since he's guarding that black clad chick (and she was actually pretty scary) and Sarge taking the other Blue prisoner – where did that one come from anyway? Is that one also another recruit? – down there, and not to mention that Donut is shipped back to command for treatment, he barely had anyone to talk to.

The orange clad man sighed. "God I am so bored…"

Grif isn't the only one bored out of his skull. Tucker leaned against the rock he's hiding in, his knees drawn up and chin in his hand as he idly drummed his fingers against his leg. He hadn't heard from Church or Erica that they had managed to save Tex – it might've been their luck that those two got captured or some shit.

"Tucker?" Oh, and he had to put up with Caboose the whole time.

The aqua clad man shifted his head to stare at the other new recruit that had gotten to his rock again. "What is it, Caboose?" He asked boredly.

"Are Church and Erica okay?" The rookie asked, clearly worried about the two.

Tucker let out a sigh. "I don't know dude," he answered, "If they were, we probably would've known by now."

At that very moment the Sergeant of the Red Army of Blood Gulch walked up to both Grif and Lopez. "Hello, men," he said, getting a confused look from Grif and Lopez.

"Uh…hi?" The orange clad man hesitantly answered. "Weren't you downstairs with Simmons?"

"I was, but I figured that he could handle the two prisoners for now," Sarge answered. "But while he's doing that, I have come to see that the moral of this team have gotten drastically low!"

"Yeah, no shit," Grif deadpanned – Donut was airlifted out of here after he somehow managed to survive a grenade stuck to his head! "It's not like this team has much to do anyway."

Sarge looked at him. "…Well, in that case, I'm not sure you would like to see this."

"See what?" Grif blinked.

Tucker peeked over his rock. "What's Sarge doing?" He asked.

"I don't know," Caboose answered- before there was radio sounds.

"Lav, come in Lav," Erica's voice spoke up.

"Wha? Erica, that you?" Tucker blinked. So they rescued Tex? Then what's the hold up.

"Yup," Erica simply answered. "Now, is it possible that our helmets can record whatever we see?"

The aqua clad man raised an eyebrow. "Uh…yeah. Why exactly?"

"…Turn your attention to the Reds and press play," for some odd reason, she was unable to hold in her laughter, making him blink again.

"Uh…o-kay, whatever," he muttered slowly as he turned and did so. "Why?"

"I think you'll love this," there were a few more chuckles before it cuts off.

"…Why are chicks so weird?" Tucker asked himself.

He watched the Reds intently.

"As the leader of Red team, it is my job to make sure that my team is in tip top condition," Sarge said. "And be aware of unexpected things. How unexpected, I leave that to your imagination."

"Could you get to the point, Sarge?" Grif just told him – he has no fucking idea where this is going, and if Sarge does something weird-

"Okay, what I have in mind…is this!"

And then he proceeded to do something that no one has seen in hundreds of years (literally):

Caramelldansen.

Grif just stood there in shock (even as he's wondering where the song came from – it's even in its foreign version!) as the old man did that corny dance in front of them.

He wasn't the only one, as Tucker is just as shocked…even while Caboose clapped to the song.

At that moment, Tex and Erica ran by them, the latter cackling. "Meet us later!" The indigo clad female exclaimed.

"What-what the hell is-?" Tucker was about to ask them before the song began to end.

"Okay! That's about it! G'night!" Tucker looked back at Sarge's sudden declaration when the song ended…then he fell back.

"…What happened?" Caboose asked.

"I have no fucking idea…" Tucker muttered as he stood up and they both took off.

It's been a weird day…but, uh, they managed to save Tex, right?

At Red Base, Grif looked over at Sarge, who seemed to have passed out after doing that...dance. "…Sarge? Uh…are you alive?"

At that moment, Simmons came up to them. "What was going on?" He asked. "I got knocked unconscious then I woke up by the Caramelldansen song. I went to see who turned it on, but I saw no one in there."

Grif glanced at Sarge again, then at Simmons. "Uhh…I'd rather forget what I just saw," he simply said.

"Why? What happened?" Simmons asked.

"Just…don't ask, dude," Grif muttered before he walked off.

Simmons watched him go, completely confused. "…What the fuck happened? ?" He questioned.

Sarge merely grumbled in his state. Something about 'monkeys' and other things.

"…Can you at least help me get Sarge to bed?!" Simmons shouted out to Grif.

"Sorry, I can't hear you!" Grif shouted back.

"…Sometimes, I fucking hate him…" the maroon clad man seethed under his breath.

Lopez slowly shook his head at them.

…Yeah, I haven't updated in a while so I gotta put up this piece of shit chapter so you guys won't wonder if I'm dead or not. The last part of the chapter is being a bitch to me, and there's something that I wanna do coming up real soon, so…why, I'm stopping the chapter here. Yeah, sorry that I hadn't updated in a while – a lot of distractions came in the way (such as Fire Emblem Awakening).

Well, reviews are nice too – so please leave some and hopefully, I'll see you guys with a new chapter soon!