Apov

Five Months Later

It has been a crazy few months. I've been trying to find myself after everything that happened. I'm not Dakota anymore and I never really was Anastasia, I was just using her name. I've became Anastasia Steele legally, so I'm officially Anastasia Rose Steele, but I'm not her so I've been finding myself. I think I've finally found a balance. My name may have changed, and I'm no longer afraid, but I'm still me.

Since I've stopped working at Mama Mia's, and I still needed that sense of security, I started writing more for my book. It's a work of fiction, with a hidden truth behind it. At first I was writing to get it off my chest about my past since I didn't want to talk about it, but then it lead to me writing this book with no ending. I've finally come up with an ending and finished writing the story within the past few months. With Christian's help, it has already been published.

I use a penname, not my legal name, so nobody will know who I am. DJ Steele is the name I use to publish my books. I don't wish to be famous and I don't go on any book tours or signings. I've named my first book Safe Haven and I've already started writing another.

This new book is a trilogy, sort of a what if, what if Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey met sooner. She would still be alive and he would've have Teddy, but in the end it all works out. Christian is more than happy to help me with this new book since it involves him being a Dom and BDSM. We've played more with toys and such, nothing too extreme, and I think it is official to say I am addicted to my man. It helps that Teddy is in school now so Christian and I have a lot of alone time together to practice scenes. Of course, with my bump growing and the baby now moving, it's challenging at times, but Christian loves it.

Christian's birthday came and went. He loved the blue jacket and, of course, the sexy lingerie I purchased for him. Eventually, his shoulder healed and everything went back to normal.

My morning sickness soon went away along with my stress of Boyce finding me. With nothing haunting me, my pregnancy is as healthy as it could be. Teddy, and now Christian are convinced we are having a boy, and I agree, but we don't know for sure since the baby wont show us the goods on the ultrasound. We're so convinced that we are having a boy, that we haven't bothered looking at any girl names.

Thinking about what our baby will look like had me thinking of when I watched Teddy for the very first time and the lady at the store assumed Teddy was mine son. So I brought it up to Christian. That conversation was very deep but now our pasts are no longer haunting either of us. We know everything about each other.

We've been busy living our life and enjoying my freedom that I've put off going to Anastasia's grave. But the holidays are approaching and Christian is taking us to Aspen, where he has a place, and I want to visit Anastasia's grave before we leave. Everything is going well in my life for once and I need to thank the girl who made it possible.

Christian and I are in Montesano, with Taylor driving us to the gravesite now. Since Christian rehired security, though it is no longer needed, Taylor and Sawyer are now back as our CPOs full time and we are in the process of hiring a second CPO for when we are out with the children. Sawyer is with Teddy and the rest of the Greys. Since getting to know Taylor, I no longer feel afraid of the authority he once was. And he's all too happy to have Christian as his boss again.

Our family is in Bellevue since we are leaving tomorrow morning for Aspen, but I wanted to do this now -visit her grave- before I put it off for too much longer. It needs to be done, I need to pay my respects to her. If it wasn't for her name, I'm not sure what I would've done or what would've happened to me.

I've called Mr. Steele, who insists we call him Ray, to let him know we would be stopping by Anastasia's grave and he said he would meet us at the grave sight.

As Taylor pulls down the narrow lane, I see Ray's pick up truck parked up ahead.

We get out, with Taylor opening our the door, and make our way to where Ray is standing.

He lifts his head when he hears us, then gives us a grateful smile.

"I can't thank you enough, son." Ray shakes Christian's hand.

"It's the least I could do, sir."

"Ray." Ray, once again, corrects Christian.

I look on confused, wondering what they are talking about, but then I notice her headstone looks new. Brand new, in fact. Anastasia died 3 years earlier, so it wouldn't look this new. It's then that I realize, Christian must have done this for Ray. He bought a new headstone or replaced the old one. I'm not sure what was there before, if it was old or nothing at all, but it probably wasn't up to Christian's standards and he is just as grateful as I am that I was able to 'borrow' Anastasia's name for however long I needed it and currently keep it.

"I can't thank Anastasia enough," I say to Ray while looking at her grave. "I don't know what I would've done if I couldn't find anyone around my age... I wouldn't have been able to get a job.. at least not a legal job. He would've found me sooner.. I can only imagine.." I'd probably be lying in a cemetery similar to this one.

"Don't you worry yourself with the what ifs, sweetheart." Ray tells me. "It'll make you sick, trust me."

I nod in agreement because I've been there plenty of times.

"And I see that you've probably had enough sickness to last awhile." Ray nods to my noticeable bump to lighten the mood. "I've heard morning sickness is dreadful."

"It is!" I agree drastically. Though I haven't had it in such a long while, it came morning, noon and night. 'Morning sickness' my ass!

"Do you know what you are having?"

"No." I answer, rubbing my bump. "The baby is being very stubborn and wont show the goods when we go in for our scan. Teddy insists it's a boy and I agree. He really wants a brother, though so he can be like his dad and uncle. That, and I think playing Barbies with Ava all the time is getting to him."

"What do you think, dad?" Ray jokes with Christian.

"A boy, no doubt."

I giggle because I think he's secretly scared to have a girl but he just wont say it. He assured me that whatever the gender of our baby is, he will love our baby just the same. I'm sure it's every father's fear, though. Having a little girl they want to protect always. The whole, 'not having sex until she's 30' thing is a bit hilarious. I'm not even 30 and we get down right dirty. But I think it would be adorable to see Christian interacting with our little girl. He's so sweet with Ava, Kate and Elliot's daughter. I'd like a boy, but a girl would be nice too so it doesn't matter to me what gender our baby is.

"When will you find out for sure?"

"Hopefully at Ana's next scan." Christian says seriously. "Otherwise we'll have to wait until he's born."

"Everyone wants to know now, not waiting until the birth, but I kind of like the idea of being surprised. We have the basic essentials and it wont be that hard to get the gender specific things once the baby arrives." I explain to Ray before turning to Christian. "Besides, there is no sweet talking your way into this baby cooperating and showing us the goods, no matter how amazing you are at negotiations."

"I'm sure I can figure something out so he will show us how much he and his daddy are alike." He says, fighting a smirk and losing. "Perhaps we'll call him Christian Jr."

"Christian!" I grin, scolding him for talking like that in front of Ray.

I give Ray an apologetic smile but Christian just shrugs it off and Ray laughs.

"It's so nice to see this," Ray says. "Annie never got this far in life, she never found her love, so seeing this makes me happy."

In my hormonal pregnant state, I hug him. He stiffens at first but then he relaxes and hugs me back.

After paying my respects to Anastasia, I tell Ray that I legally changed my name to Anastasia. He assures me that he's okay with it and happy that Anastasia could help.

Before Christian and I leave, we let Ray know that he is not alone, that he has a family in us and our kids would love an extra grandparent. We even invite him on our trip to Aspen for the holidays.

Raymond Steele is now a permanent part of our lives, thanks to his daughter Anastasia.

As Christian and I walk back to the SUV, I take a deep cleansing breath, really and truly breathing for the first time.

It's over.

Three Months Later

I've never really given much thought to a name. We are all born and given names, it is our parents who name us, but what happens when your parents don't have a clue as to what your name should be?

I was born Dakota but I am now, and forever will be known as, Anastasia... Whether my last name stays Steele or not depends on the answer Christian gives me when I ask him one really important question that I will never and could never ask any other man. It's not traditional for the woman to ask the man this question, but I'm curious to know how he feels about it.

But it is not just my name that I have to figure out.

Life is such a funny thing. We usually take little things for granted, not realizing how very important they are. Sometimes we never imagine something happening to us, and then the next second it's happening and there is nothing you can do or say to stop it. Being a mom is one of those things for me because I never thought I would be a mother.

Teddy is amazing and I love him more than anything. I never realized how much I would love being mother until I became one. And then I gave birth to our baby.

Now here I am, sitting in the hospital bed with my baby girl in my arms as I stare at how beautiful she is. A perfect mix of her mother and father. But she has no name.

I don't want to come up with a random name, I want her name to mean something. I asked Christian why he named Teddy Theodore, and he told me because it is his grandfather's name. This is the first time Christian has said anything regarding his grandparents to me. He's been very quiet about them and I'm not entirely sure why. They've been on a curse for the holidays so I'll be seeing them tonight. They are coming to meet our baby girl, their great-grandbaby. The baby with no name.

I thought about naming our daughter after someone special, but I wasn't very close to my mother or any female figure really. I guess we could always name her after someone in Christian's family so her name means something special to at least one of us, but I can't decided and I'm running out of time. We're leaving the hospital soon but we can't leave without a name for our little girl.

Just then, someone knocks on the door and brings me from my thoughts.

Everyone is at our house, ready to congratulate and welcome our newest member, so it's probably the nurse saying we can leave as soon as we have a name for our girl.

Christian stops packing my bags to answer the door.

"What are you doing here?" Christian asks our visitor, surprised by whomever it is, obviously not the nurse.

"I can't wait a moment longer to meet this wonderful girlfriend of yours and the mother of our great grandchildren."

My breathing catches in my throat when I hear the familiar voice behind the door.

"Not to mention," Another familiar voice adds. "Your mother convinced us to sell and move, remember. We live nearby now, we wanted to surprise everyone later with the news."

My hand flies to my mouth when I think of them, and living near me again. Tears fall uncontrollably.

They walk in and stop dead in their tracks when they see me. We haven't seen each other since that night. Exactly one year ago today.

"Oh my word." Grandma Trevelyan whispers in shock.

"Dakota?" Grandpa Trevelyan asks me, just as surprised to see me as his wife is.

I nod my head, unable to speak.

Grandma Trevelyan pushes passed her husband and grandson to come to my side.

"What are you doing here?" Grandma asks me, holding my head between her hands and brushing my hair back out of my eyes.

Christian takes our daughter from me so we can hug, a hug that is long overdue.

I giggle and look at Christian. He's smiling, and I think he has known all along that I knew his grandparents, which would explain the secrecy.

"I'm Christian's girlfriend." I grin at them.

I can't believe it, the wonderful couple who helped me escape him are Christian's grandparents?!

"Oh, my dear, sweet girl." Grandma Trevelyan cheers with tears in her eyes and hugs me again. "Thank the heavens you're safe."

The room erupts in an emotional mess.

Grandma Trevelyan told me they heard my message but thought I was just passing through town, not that I was living there and working at their granddaughter's restaurant, and definitely not dating their grandson; though we weren't dating at the time of that phone call. She said she called back, but couldn't ask for me since she didn't know if I was using my real name or not. Thinking back, I remember her calling and asking about Mia.

Christian's grandparents take turns hugging me and are now holding their newest great-granddaughter. They have her now and wont give her up.

Christian is sitting next to me on my hospital bed now as we watch his grandparents fawn all over the new baby.

"I lived next door to your grandparents in Detroit." I explain to him, even though I know he knows.

"I know," He confirms. "When I looked at the background check, I noticed the address was next to my grandparents. I figured they were the elder couple you were talking about."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Like when you found out!" I gently scold him.

"I wanted you to see each other again in person, I didn't know it would take this long." He smiles at me and then turns to look at his grandparents, who are sitting next to each other while shower our baby with attention only grandparents could give. "I always knew Theodore was a good name."

Another knock on the door brings us from our little celebration and this time I know it's the nurse.

Christian opens the door and this time the nurse does walk in.

"Well, Ms. Steele." She addresses me. "It's time for you and your little girl to go home. However, we'll need a name before you do. Have you decided yet?"

"Baby?" Christian looks at me but my attention is focused on the amazing people who saved my life. Without their help, I might have died that night and never met Christian, the love of my life, or Teddy, or any of the Greys. I owe them so much that I could never repay. But there is one thing I can do.

"I know her name." I say, pausing before I continue, "It's Phoebe."

Grandma Trevelyan pops her head up from looking at my Phoebe. Her beautiful light blue eyes are wide and wet.

"It's the least I could do," I tell her. "but it would be an honor if our daughter shared your name."

Grandma Trevelyan nods her head in agreement as she holds our little Phoebe a little closer.

Both our children are named after their grandparents and have a very strong meaning behind their names; our children are named after people who mean so much to us.

Now that our little girl has a name, we are able to leave the hospital.

Christian's grandparents follow us back to our place where everyone is waiting for us.

When we arrive everyone is quiet for the new baby's sake but still just as excited as they should be.

Mia organized the food so we don't have to worry about that. It's nothing big or fancy, just immediate family only, including Ray Steele and Christian's grandparents.

Teddy is being sure everyone washes their hands before they touch his baby sister, going around with a pump bottle of hand sanitizer for good measure. He is an amazing older brother. Even though he was disappointed at first that he didn't get the brother he wanted and that his new baby sister was too small to play with him right away, he instantly took on the role as protective big brother instantly. That, and he sees how his father and uncle treat their baby sister.

After everyone has seen the new baby, learned of her beautiful name and said their congratulations one last time, they all leave us to enjoy our first night home as a family.

Christian and I put our two children to bed; he has Teddy and I have Phoebe since she's breastfeeding and co-sleeping in our room until she's a little older. But her being a newborn, she'll wake multiple times a night. Teddy wanted her in his room, but we didn't want her to wake him so she's in our room for now.

Just as I'm laying a swaddled Phoebe in her bassinet, Christian walks in from putting Teddy down and reading his story.

I climb back in bed and watch Christian undress as I wait for him to join me. It is definitely going to be a long 6 weeks.

We cuddle up together; one of my favorite things to do with him. I love him holding me in his arms because it feels so safe, as if nothing can harm me ever again. My life is finally worth living and I couldn't be happier. There is one thing, though... Christian's never brought it up, not even once, and I know it could be something to do with my past, but what if it's not? What if he doesn't want- No. I know he loves me, I know he wants me. I know it's because of my past that he doesn't ask me about it. He's probably afraid I'll say no or freak out. But I'm ready.

"Christian," I start but stop, unsure of how to continue. What if he had something special he was planning and by me bringing it up, I'm ruining his plans by asking him. Should I even ask? I wont know until I ask him, but how do I phrase this question.

"What is it, baby?" He asks when I don't say anything more.

"Do you... do you want to get married?"

"What? Why are you asking? Did someone say something to you earlier?" He immediately beings to questions me, upset that someone might have brought it up again after he shut them down when we found out that I was pregnant. "Because you know we don't have to get married just because we have a baby if you don't want to."

"If I don't want to," I repeat. "But what about you? I'm asking if you want to?"

"I want whatever you want. Whatever you are comfortable with."

I sigh because he's not answering me. I want to know what he wants, not what I want.

"Nevermind, forget I asked."

"Baby, if you are asking if I want to marry you, the answer is yes." He tells me in all seriousness and not letting the subject go. "I've known you were it for me for quite some time, the only reason I haven't asked is out of respect for you and your past. I didn't want to be told no if I ever asked you. I know what you went through with your first husband and I didn't know how you felt about marriage after experiencing that."

"I didn't." I tell him honestly. "I didn't ever want to get married again ever again, but it's different with you. You are my lifeline, you are my soulmate, you are my everything. I want to marry you, I want to be your wife. I'm already Teddy's mother by heart but I want to adopt him and have everything be legal. I love you, Christian, more than I ever thought I would."

Oh, fuck tradition!

"Will you marry me, Christian?"

I don't realize I'm holding my breath, but when his smirk grows into a massive sexy grin, I know his answer.

I became Anastasia Steele, but I am going to become Mrs. Anastasia Grey.

A/N: As you can tell, the story is ending. Next chapter will be the epilogue.