And it seems Erica will have to find strength to move on. Or perhaps not. Anyway, enjoy.

Disclaimer: You know what I own and don't own - Roosterteeth will kick my ass if I steal their stuff.

I let out a depressed sigh, lying on my bed. My armor is off, but I took my helmet with me to set it on the bed next to me.

"Hey, you can't be depressed all day, Erica," the AI in my helmet told me. "It's a part of life, get over it."

"Easy for you to say..." I murmured, curling up into a ball. "You're an AI for crying out loud."

"Hey, I didn't choose to be like this, all right!" I ignored the AI yelling at me - it's not that I've gotten used to her in my time here...she's able to kick my ass using my own body. I just didn't want to deal with her right now.

After a few moments, she sighed. "Look, I just wanted to check and see if you really do exist here," she said. "I'm as surprised as you are, you know."

I let out a listless grunt, before I buried my face into my pillow.

Honestly, I wish I could just...forgot our findings today...

Hours earlier...

I panted heavily as I ran a few laps around the canyon. With the Reds and Blue asleep, this is the only time I can do so...at 4 in the freaking morning.

"C'mon! Faster!" Tex shouted at me in her transparent form. "You won't get anywhere if you don't have enough stamina!"

"Huff... Sh-Shut up...Tex!" I panted out, nearly tripping as I spoke before I resumed concentrating on my task.

Honestly, I can't believe how time flies so fast - it's only been a month and a half since I started this training. And I gotta say, I'm feeling proud of myself for gaining more energy to not be out of breath like I was previously. But this is in the morning - after breakfast and a break, I had to head out to the caves under Blood Gulch to do my other training - target practice. Tex somehow found some guns that fire paint balls instead of real bullets to simulate some scenarios I might get into.

And I'm terrified of going into real combat-

"Watch out for that rock!"

"Shit!" I exclaimed, nearly tripping over a rock before I quickly regained myself.

Tex let out a sigh. "It's sad that it's the same rock you nearly tripped over, you know."

"I'm...aware of that...thanks," I panted out, passing by Red base. I resumed my morning run afterwards.

Two hours later, I returned to Blue base at a good time, heading towards the kitchen to find me something to eat before I do my routine.

I found some eggs, bread and some juice before I made myself some breakfast. Though I'd like to have something else other than scrambled eggs. I'd kill for some pancakes or waffles right now...

I sat down to eat my breakfast, telling myself to clean up after myself after I'm done, when Lav came in - one of the few times that he woke up early, and he was pretty used to see me up this early (by now). "Hey," he grunted, sleepily.

"Hey," I grunted back, eating my food. I ate slowly (instead of eating it fast like I usually do) like I was told to do, so that I won't get sick and sipped at my orange juice.

"So, what exactly have you been doing for the past month?" Lav asked me, sitting down at the other end of the table. "Lately you disappear all day and come back at night to shower and sleep."

I swallowed before I answered, "A lot of things. Mostly to get away from Church. Who's still pissed at me."

Lav winced. "Ouch. I hear you." We sat in silence for a bit, before he asked me, "Say, have you noticed something...odd about Caboose lately?"

"...You mean when he's pretty aggressive?" I asked him, biting through my taco'd eggs in buttered toast.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I kept pointing it out to Church, but he kept ignoring me. I knew he was an asshole, but..."

"Yeah," I nodded, understanding him. "It could be that he's...I dunno, possessed or something."

"What, by another asshole spirit worse than Church?" The dark skinned man said, exasperated.

"I hope not," I said, before stuffing the last bit of the egg filled bread into my mouth. "Speaking of which, did you guys fix up his speech?"

"Well...sort of, but not all the way," Lav admitted, shrugging.

"Ah," I let out, drowning my juice.

After I was done with my breakfast, I took my dishes to the sink and put away the stuff I used for breakfast. "Well, back to torture..." I mumbled to myself.

"Huh?"

"It's nothing," I told the dark skinned male. "Nothing at all."

I then left to put on my armor before doing the next part of my day. Gun training.

Hours flew by in that cavern we used for training. My reaction time is still slow (but not as slow as I was previously, but not quite there), and if it hadn't been for the fact it was practice, I would've been dead ten times over...or more.

Right now, I'm trying to shot at the rock from a distance...and missing. "C'mon, we've been doing this for six weeks now," Tex scolded me. "Just hit the target."

I gave her a deadpanned look as I lowered the sniper rifle (yes, I snagged it from Church, and I gotta say, I suck with it). "Hey, give me a break! I still need to aim with this thing before shooting!"

"But you also need to aim at a moment's notice," Tex told her. "At times, you can't even aim properly and that can get you killed. Its best to fire at a moment's notice, and make sure that every shot counts."

'I've been trying to do that for a while, jerk...' I mentally mumbled before I held the gun up - the thing is heavy.

Plus...that fucking rock is mocking me. The thought of hitting it gave me strength to hold it up for a few more moments.

And you have no idea how satisfying it is to see the paint splatter all over the melon shaped rock. "Ha! Eat it!" I cheered, pumping my fist.

Tex looked over at the rock. "Not bad," she admitted. "But you still have a long way to go with the sniper rifle." Dammit. "Still, your training with hand held guns are better than the other guns. But you still have to practice on reloading during battle."

That is true. For some odd reason, I'm better with magnums or similar guns - I wonder if it's the same for the Covenant weapons? I'd like to have a Plasma Rifle...

"Anyway, that's it for today," Tex said. "We'll go and pick up again tomorrow." I raised my eyebrow.

"...That's unusually nice of you, Tex," I remarked.

She then looked over at me. "There's something that I need to check," she said. "But we could only access it here."

I blinked. "Why? What's up?"

"You'll know when we get there," she told me. I sighed - of course Freelancers are cryptic...

And I once again blinked. "Wait, what computer are we talking about?"

A few minutes later, I found myself at the computer room Simmons will discover in the future. Tex told me to pull out that small machine attached to it before she possessed me (and it's a really odd feeling still) to type in a few things.

'...What exactly are we looking for?' I asked her mentally, confused.

"We'll be trying to see if there are any records of you in the UNSC database," Tex told me (and it's still weird that she used my body and speaking to me with my voice). "You may never know what you could find, really."

True...but I doubt that. Still, I guess it doesn't hurt to look.

After a few moments, we came upon the citizenship of all of the people registered in their files. So far, there isn't any record on me at all.

'Well, there's nothing so far...' I said.

"True..." Tex trailed off. Then I felt my head perk. "Unless..." She typed in a few things, and brought up a search bar. She then typed in my name.

And suddenly, there was a data file of me on there. 'What the...? What's this...?' I mentally exclaimed.

We both read the file.

Name: Erica T. Helms

Date of Birth: January 5, 1991

Date of Death: April 30, 2014 - but now unconfirmed.

At around the last week of April, the twenty-three year old woman suddenly collapsed in her home. But though she was rushed to the hospital, she was already dead. They were undetermined on what the cause was, since it didn't seem like a suicide or a sudden disease. There was an investigation, but the case had gotten cold after a few weeks.

At 2539 AD, her remains was reexamined - and it was determined that this body was merely a flash clone of her, as it is similar to the flash clones of the children that were abducted for the Spartan program proposed by Dr. Catherine Halsey. But with the new evidence, no one is sure what exactly happened to her.

There have been similar cases like her over the years, but it is not confirmed if it truly is connected. Until further evidence, the investigation is on hold.

There was silence for a while. "...Well, didn't expect that," Tex admitted.

I was silent.

I didn't hear Tex speaking to me - it was as if my mind was static.

This...this can't...this can't be right... It...

I...I disappeared?! It-no, it-! I-!

It was a good thing Tex still had control of my body, otherwise I'm not sure what I'd do. "...Let's get out of here," she said, before replacing the part into the computer and walked out with my body, all the way back to Blue base.

Now...

So...I no longer had a place for my home...

It could have been a lie made up for Project Freelancer...but... I don't know what to believe anymore.

I let out a sigh, before Tex appeared before me in her AI form. "Well, here's something you should see," she said before she brought up a file before me.

I stared at it for a while. "...What is it?" I asked, blankly.

"It's a file that has your information on Project Freelancer," she explained. "But it's clear that these are fake."

I sat up to look over at it. It says that I was an orphaned citizen that didn't give a damn about the war she was forced to draft into. It seems that - to them - I failed on purpose, only to be shipped off to here, at Blood Gulch of all places. Most likely because they think that I have no knowledge of what was going on at the project.

But, so far, after Tex was sent here, there weren't any problems. They probably deemed me not a threat right now.

I sighed, falling back. "What's the point?" I asked. "After what we found today, I don't think I'll be able to go back to where I originally came from."

"Well, most of the Sim Troopers are the same as you," Tex told me. "Drafted into the army, away from friends and family, then sent to simulation bases if they aren't deemed useful."

"Yeah, while the others still die in a war," I grumbled, lying on my back now. "And those in Project Freelancer are fucked over because of what happened to Maine and you breaking in with York and North's help."

"Still, I can't believe that Carolina is alive..." Tex let out, as if relieved. "If I ever find York..."

"But who knows where Carolina is right now," I pointed out. "She didn't appear until the end of season nine, have the Reds and Blues help her get Epsilon."

"True...but still..."

"I wanted him to live as much as you do," I admitted to her. "But...I'm afraid if either of us told him, he'll still die. Either by Wyoming, or the Meta..." I sighed. "I dunno."

There was silence between the two of us for a while.

"...Well, you should try to make the best out of this," Tex advised me. I looked over at her. "I dunno what your life was like beforehand - I mean I caught a few glimpses of it, but not a lot - but..." She trailed off a bit, rubbing the back of her head. "Well, what I'm trying to say is, you're here now. Whatever you do here is up to you now."

I stared up at the ceiling for a while. "...Hey, can you go off line?" I asked her. "I want to think it over a bit."

"All right," Tex surprisingly complied before she disappeared.

I laid there for who knows how long, staring up at the ceiling. After what felt like forever, I sighed and put on my bra, before exiting, leaving my helmet behind.

Mindlessly, I wondered the halls of the base before I ended up in the living room. With a sigh, I sat down on the couch and lean back.

A few minutes went by as I just sat there...then I heard footsteps. "Oh, look who decided to show up," I heard a voice say, a bitter tone in it.

I didn't have to turn my head to see who it was. "Hey Church..." I said, tiredly. I just want to be alone right now.

But, unfortunately, Church seems to pick up on that. "Uh...you okay? What kind of activity did you do?"

I sighed. "Look man, I just want to be alone right now," I told him. "I found out something today, and...Well, you wouldn't understand." I drew my knees to my chest, and stared at the wall.

There was silence. "...Well, normally, I would do that, since I don't literally give a fuck on what you guys do," Church admitted. "But this is unusual, even for you."

And when in the hell did he began to care? "Why would you care?" I rhetorically asked him. "I mean, I'm the chick that got your ex-girlfriend killed."

"Hey, I'm pissed off at that still," the AI said. "But you avoiding us and you acting like this...if you're going on a mass murder spree, go for Tucker. Or hell, maybe the Reds or Caboose even."

I gave a horrified look over at him...before it became indigent and I threw a pillow at him. "Dude! Why in living fuck would I do that?!" I shouted.

Church was unfazed by it - the pillow I mean. "Okay, so you won't go crazy or something," he let out. "That's good."

I blinked. "Huh?"

"Listen, dealing with Tucker complaining about Caboose's behavior for a few weeks can grate on your nerves," Church told me. "And with one of the rookies is acting like a total jackass, and another acting all depressed, I, you know, gotta look out for myself, you know."

I stared at him for a bit before I sat back down. "Yeah, sure," I said listlessly. I sat there for a few moments, in thought…then I looked over at the light blue soldier. "Hey, can I ask you something real quick?"

"If it's about how I'm doing, then no," Church growled out. "Not only do I have to put up with those two on a daily bases, the AI of this robot has been fighting me for weeks – and to top it all off, my girlfriend is dead, and do you know whose fault it is?!"

I actually cringed at his words – even though I knew that Tex will die even if I wasn't here…maybe a part of that is true. "…Y-Yeah, about that," I mumbled, scratching my head. "That day when Tex died…how…how exactly did you feel?"

A beat. "…Why the hell do you want to know that?"

I sighed. "I…I discovered something today that made me depressed…" I admitted. "Something that I had no idea about until today."

"What, your family member died or something?"

"…Yeah." My whole family…dead. "People dear to me."

There was a bit of silence between us as I waited for Church to answer. "…Oh…" He mumbled out. "Uh…"

I sighed. "Take your time."

And he did. For a while, I was contemplating on telling him to drop it, that it was nothing…but I wanted to hear how Church felt about that day.

"…Well," he finally spoke up, and I looked over at him. "It's…not a pleasant feeling, seeing her flying out of the exploding tank. It intensified when I held her in my arms in her final moments. I mean, I saw my friends at Sidewinder die," a part of me doubts that, "but seeing her die…I just…" He sighed as he bowed his head. "I just wished I could've saved her. Not only from the AI, but death in general – if I had the power, I would do that, you know?"

My eyes widened at that. The Director's words at the finale of Reconstruction came back to me. I've heard it a few times, but…didn't he also wished that he could've saved his wife, Allison? All that time, he just couldn't exactly forget her – I mean, how could he? They have an odd relationship, sure, but…he always loved her. The Director, and now Church, felt a pain of loss as I have, and maybe others… Only…

The Director's pain of loss is much worse. He spent most of his life chasing ghosts, wanting to see Allison one more time…

And he failed to realize that, he had a part of Allison the entire time: his daughter. It took him until the end of season 10 to realize that.

In some ways, it IS the Director's fault this happened…but we can't exactly control what could happen around us. There was no way he could've known that things could come to this…and neither did I.

The Reds and Blues have no idea what it felt like to lose someone dear to them – and right now…I…took my life back at home for granted as well.

They – the Blood Gulch Crew – had a life before they were dragged into this – I had a life too…and it was snatched away by forces I can't control.

We're all the same…

"Wha-? Hey, what- are you crying?!" Church's exclamation brought me back to reality. I felt something run down my cheeks and I tapped my cheek. Oh, so I am.

"S-Sorry," I stuttered, before I took a deep breath. "I…I had a lot to think about. I'm-I'm sorry about Tex. Really, I am." Both Tex and Allison.

Church stared at me. "…Oh," he let out – was he that surprised by what I said? Hard to tell. "Um…yeah. I, uh, glad to know that you've learned your lesson soldier."

I just nodded and stood up. "I'll see you later," I said, as I headed back to my room.

"Where are you going?" He asked me.

"Taking a shower," I answered. "I stink to high hell, and I wanna feel clean."

"Oh gross," he grumbled aloud.

"You slept with Tex, didn't you?" I called back at him.

"It's not the same!" He exclaimed, in indignation.

I just giggled to myself.

~o~

"Hey, Tex?"

"Yeah?" The AI appeared, after I laid down onto the bed again.

"You mind if I asked you something?"

At the corner of my eye, Tex looked me over for a bit. "That depends, actually."

"…What exactly are you?"

"Huh?"

I shifted my eyes for a bit in thought, trying to figure out how to phrase it better. "What…are you exactly? An AI based on Allison, or the fragment of Church's failures?"

"I thought you knew," she sounds amused when she said that.

"I thought I did," I admitted. "But…now I'm not so sure anymore."

Tex shook her head a bit. "Well, what do you believe?"

I stared back up at the ceiling. After a while of thinking, I answered: "Well, same as us, I guess." I raised my hands a bit. "I mean…it's true that war has a way to bring us together, to defend our world, our nation, our people…but for the people to lay down their lives for the war, fearing that they'll never come back home… I'm not saying that I feel sorry for the Director…but maybe he has this odd fantasy of seeing his loved one again through you…but you aren't her. You're Tex. Through all of his memories, the one that is the most vivid is of the last time he saw her. That moment in his life, he regretted the most…for not stopping her from going. He knew that Allison is military material and he isn't, and he couldn't try to stop her because…because…" I trailed off, trying to find words for it. "He…" I sighed, my hands dropping to the bed. "I guess he blames himself for letting her go off to war. He probably knew it's possible that she could die, but he clung to the hope that she'll survive. When she didn't come home, it left him emotionally scarred. He blames himself for his failure to make her stay…and that probably created you. You're a byproduct from the Alpha's creation – a good thing and a bad thing. His memory of Allison is stronger than his other feelings, and that created a different being from him…but that also gave him an idea to split him up. It's not your fault this happened…nor is the fault of war that took Allison away." I sighed again. "I guess…fate has a way to screw anyone over, no matter where you're from. You, Church, the Reds and Blues of Project Freelancer – the Blood Gulch Crew as well – and me…we're here because of something that's beyond our control. Some were drafted into a war that they weren't made for, some wanted in, and some on accident…to the UNSC and Project Freelancer, we're people with no names… We had family, friends…and we were snatched away from them by something we couldn't control. The simulation troopers of Blood Gulch are like me, in a sense, taken here from our family, loved ones… They thought the whole Red vs Blue war is real, but they didn't even realize the horrors of a real war – the horrors of what's really out there in the universe. The cruelty of humankind, countless ages of war among ourselves for as long as history remembers… It started off as a means to control rebels, which then turns into a fight for their lives when the Covenant came along, followed by the Flood."

The whole time, Tex silently stared at me as I sat up, swallowing a bit of saliva to try to moisten my throat from having to talk so much.

"…You and I are the only ones aware of what's going to happen," I continued, as images of the events that will take place flashed in my head. "If it means to endure hell to protect these men – the men like me – then…I'll gladly do whatever it takes to get stronger to protect them. Even from themselves at times."

"…Even when you have to take the life of someone else?" Tex finally asked me, after a while of silence.

"…If it comes down to it, and the situation calls for it…I may or may not," I admitted. I don't have the power to take a life, nor do I have a say in who lives and who dies…

"I'm not a soldier, Tex," I added. "Just…a civilian drafted as one."

I sat there in silence for a bit, as I felt Tex's holographic eyes on me.

"…Well, you're starting to realize that you can't be a civilian for long," Tex finally said after a while of silence. "But you also realize that you aren't a soldier. Soldiers follow orders without question, even if it goes against their morals and what they believe in. Even so, there are times to take action to save those close to you…and to kill those that are a threat to you. When you make those choices, you won't have time to think – you just act."

…I had a feeling that the choice will come at me for when I'm not exactly ready for it.

I looked over at Tex for a bit. "…You know…you're not that bad," I admitted. "You're a good person once I got to know you."

"Even when I'm an AI?" Tex let out, amused.

"Does it matter if you're one?" I asked her. "You may be one, and a tough soldier, but you're as imperfect as us. And that's good – it takes a lot to admit you make mistakes and stuff."

Tex shook her head at me. "You're the strangest person I've ever met. More so than York."

A chuckle escaped from my lips. "Well…we're all unique, I guess," I said with mirth. I stared up at the ceiling, feeling…lighter now. "…So…we resume training tomorrow morning?"

"Yup. But don't expect me to go easy on you."

"Eww."

"Enjoy your break while it lasts," Tex told me as I sat up from the bed.

"Yeah, yeah," I waved it away half-heartedly as I left my room.

I'm among people like me, now – a bunch of nobodies. So…

I have to protect them, until I eventually die…or until I can find a place to move on in my new life.

I won't lose my way.

Okay, I'd wanted to add more, but I figured that it'll be good enough for now. This is probably the quickest chapter I've ever put up. I've listened to a few Puella Magi Madoka Magica music when I was typing this. Anyways…

It seems that Erica found out that she isn't…where she thought she is. But though she lost her way, a couple of AIs helped her out on this. But would that even help when the events continue on? Who know?

Leave a review, everyone.