The rain started suddenly. Silva and Kikyo were dripping when they came back to the game room they left Chrollo in. He was standing straight and tense, his fingers nervously writhing. His book had disappeared. A thunder rolled in the distance.
"Milady, mister Zoldyck, I thank you for your invitation, I've spent a very pleasant time with all of you, I hope we'll meet again soon, you'll convey my warm regards to Milluki." His speech was unusually fast and he was reaching the door when Kikyo stopped him.
"You can't be serious. The weather is terrible. You'll catch a cold."
"Thanks for your concern Milady, but I'm sure…"
Kikyo shacked her head, clicking her tongue against her teeth, just like when Milluki was about to do something wrong
"Tt, tt, tt ! You're way too young to contradict a mother, even if I'm not yours. But we're a family nonetheless, aren't we, Silva ?"
"Bfrrgbr."
"It means "yes" in Silvanish" said Kikyo with a smile, just like Silva had used some mysterious while existing language. "You'll take your place in the room next to Milluki's. He will be so happy when he'll wake up. You sure want to please your brother, aren't you ?"
"My bro…? Yes, Milady, of course…"
He was obviously nervous and eager to leave, and Silva felt intrigued. This boy had put so much effort into getting in. He couldn't figure out the reason of such a sudden change. Something obviously happened when they were in the garden. That was why he changed his mind and supported his wife's decision, and called a butler to settle the boy in the chosen room. The sudden panic in the boy's eyes rewarded him. The boy had shown the importance he gave to politeness; he couldn't leave just like that. Silva felt like a little petty satisfaction at thwarting the boy's plans for no particular reason but his own enjoyment and curiosity.
He also ordered a guard at the door.
Kikyo went to bed early, unusual contractions tiring her more than it should. She had put the passage flower on her bedside table. Its blossom was taking a long time, probably weakened by the transportation. Silva shooed away the high and slender guard dogs who were oddly restless and fidgety, moaning, sniffing under Kikyo's door, and seemed to react more than usual to storm and electricity. Silva were looking at them, frowning in curiosity, when he knocked at his father's private apartment door.
Zeno was leaning over his desk, writing a letter. He didn't look at his son when he came in, entirely engrossed in his task. Or maybe he was ignoring him. Silva spoke up.
"Kikyo is considering the child's adoption. What do you think ?"
Zeno wrote down a couple of sentences before answering.
"It's a good idea. He's obedient, toilet trained, well-groomed and so decorative, with his little mark in the forehead. He's playful and has brilliant hair. He'd be a good pet for Milluki."
"She's considering something more than a pet."
"As long as we ignore the unborn child's nen, he'll remain a pet."
Zeno's voice was unusually harsh. He wasn't making any eye contact. Something was wrong.
"Father, you are upset."
"I thought I had passed you down a better sense of responsibility."
"I keep in my house a boy I dislike for my family's sake. I think it's responsible enough."
"You married a non-transmuter woman. It was far irresponsible enough for you not to spread your seeds to the four winds."
Silva almost started.
"What the hell are you…?"
"Just before your marriage" Zeno cut him short "you asked Kikyo a picture of her, when she was younger, before her… accident. Before she had to wear a visor. She had big and beautiful dark eyes. You complimented her. You said she already had the devil's gaze, before she got the Devil's Eyes. You like dark eyed women so much…"
"What do you mean."
"He has pretty eyes, this kid, isn't he ? Big and beautiful dark eyes… He has from his mother ?"
Zeno deigned to put his quill down and stared at his son with reproach.
"You had full rights to have fun before your marriage. But not to be inconsequential. I won't ask who his mother is. It's not my business. If she's not dead, kill her. This situation is insane enough."
"I'm not this boy's father. I ask you to trust me."
"And I ask not to trust yourself that much."
The thunder rolled afar. It might be violent to be heard through the thick walls. Zeno took the speech again.
"How many were they ? These women. All brunettes, if I remember well. How many had big dark eyes ? A dozen ? A hundred ? You remember every single one ? You had been a perfect gentleman ? You kept in touch several months long ? You can vouch for every uterus you met ? As a responsible heir ?"
"No need to be sarcastic. I'm pretty sure there are in this world some women I didn't knock up. At least twelve."
"Let me be the sarcastic one. You're bad at it."
Zeno folded the letter and sealed it. Silva hoped he had finished but he didn't look like he would leave him alone.
"You observed the forehead mark ? Strange shape."
"Yes. Like a cross."
"Or a hesitant "Z". It would be understandable. Which mother's hand wouldn't shake while burning his baby forehead ? Which baby wouldn't thrash about to avoid this terrible pain ? Babies get an amazing strength when tortured."
"Yes. I know" Silva muttered bitterly.
"A woman is allowed to be proud of carrying a Zoldyck. It's reasonable to express this pride. An angel bite on the forehead… it's pretty rare. As if she wanted anybody to see it. It's even more rare to wish for a place in the Zoldyck family. As if she had taught him where he belonged…"
"You sink into pure speculations. And a shred of narcissism."
"Maybe. But about those matters, imagination is the limit. You have no idea what parents can go with for their kids."
"Unfortunately, I do, father."
Zeno frowned but didn't comment. He took an envelope and a globe. He seemed to proceed to complicated calculations, and wrote an address on the envelope. He materialised a little nen dragon who took it in its mouth and swallow it. The envelope slided down its throat and floated in the translucid stomach. Then it flew away by the window, its nen body guarded the paper against the rain. Silva followed it with his eyes until the darkness engulfed it.
"Who were you writing to ?"
"Is it a proper question to ask to his father ?"
"You write to Biscuit Krueger, aren't you ?"
"If you know, why are you asking ?"
"I thought you no longer see each other."
"We no longer see each other. But we still correspond."
Silva didn't insist. The evocation of Biscuit Krueger always made him feel uncomfortable. Watching his father's back leaning over another task, he found it preferable to leave. He had a lot to think, after this conversation.
But he didn't have the time. A butler was running to him.
"Master, our guest had broke out…"
Silva's heart missed a beat.
"Milluki…"
"... is fine Master, along with all the family. The guest had just… disappeared. I don't know how it happ…"
"Who was on guard ?"
"Me master, but…"
"You're dead."
Silva ran as fast as he could to the boy's room, cursing himself and muttering names. How could he have been so neglectful ? The boy was cunning and determined, and had a suspect behavior after diner. How could he have take no care ? He was a thief, and a good one, obviously. Now everything was clear in Silva's mind. The boy had came to take something, and wanted to run away as soon as he had it. He shouldn't have left him alone.
If he even tried lay a hand on just one hair of his children's head…
He ran into the guest's room. The bed was unmade, what surprised him, and still warm, what stupefied him. The boy mustn't be far.
Actually, a simple "en" told him the boy was less than fifty meters from here. In the transformer room. He was perfectly still. He wasn't running away. He was hiding.
Silva walked calmly to the transformer room. He felt the broken lock. It was been broke open with ability. He open the metallic door.
The boy as sitting on the narrow floor, his face hidden in his arms around his knees, bended against his chest. He was wearing an old Illumi's pyjama, that was too large for him. He had rolled up the legs. He looked so young and frail.
He hadn't looked up to Silva when he came in. He hadn't made a slight movement.
The thunder rolled afar and the boy startled, clutching his knees tighter. Silva crouched down next to him.
"So that was why you were so eager to leave."
The boy didn't make a move, and remained silent.
"It's not wrong to be afraid of storms. A thunder is unpredictable, quick and lethal. It's a reasonable fear. Your reaction is not, on the other hand. You're safe in your room."
The child showed no reaction.
"And to be honest, hiding from thunder in a transformer room… That's quite a joke, sonny…"
The child emitted a hoarse sound, like a little wet laughter. Silva took softly one of his hand to clear his face, but the boy struggled and turned his face to the wall.
"It's not wrong either to cry."
The boy sniffed, at last, without trying to hide it.
"It's not wrong when you know how to chose your tears. Holding his tears back to spare our loved ones is strength. Hiding his tears to spare ourselves is arrogance."
"I'm not arrogant." croaked the child.
"You are. You wanted to leave because you didn't want us to know you are scared of storms. You took the risk to upset Kikyo, you frightened everyone by escaping and hiding in an unsafe place. You made your fear an inconvenience. That's arrogance. It's told irrational fears are stupid. It's not. Only being ashamed of it is."
Silva sat in the floor and grabbed the child. He tried to thrash about but it was pointless. Compared to Silva he was as weak as a kitten. Silva settled the kids on his knees. Chrollo looked stupefied.
"What are you doing ?"
"I'm hugging you. It's a thing adults do to comfort a child."
"I'm no longer a child."
"Tell me you're not arrogant again."
The boy bite his lips and glance at Silva with defiance, with this embarrassed expression Silva had seen during their first meeting.
"How do you do that ? This hugging thing."
"As everyone does."
"We don't have anything like that in Meteor."
"So I will show you. First off all, you stop wriggling like a fish. Then you put your arm around my neck. No, don't clench. It's not a strangulation technique."
"Sorry. Reflex."
"You put your head in a comfortable position. Then I put my arms around you and don't be afraid, for fucking sake…"
Chrollo had started and seeked for escaping again. Silva brushed his large hand on the little back, and the appeasing touch calmed the child who put his head on the hollow of his neck.
"Like this ?"
"Yeah, you got it. You're learning fast."
"It's a very tight contact. I'm not sure I could get used to it. Habits outside Meteor City are very strange…" His voice started to fade…
Silva observed the children's face, his big, red rimmed eyes, his heavy eyelids that slowly closed on his sleep, and the mark that, from a certain angle, under the diffuse light of the corridor, looked like, with a little imagination, a Z.
"Where do you come from…" muttered Silva for himself.
The child's breath became calm and wide, .He was sleeping. Silva carried him in his bed and tuck him in. He slipped a hand under the mattress and the pillow, looking for weapons, and rummage through the neatly folded pile of clothes. Then he came out and doubled the guard. He was about to go in the library when Tsubone ran upon him, her voice winded.
"Mistress Kikyo…"
He understood immediately. He ran to his wife's room. His steps resonated on the floor at the same pace as the thunder.
The storm raged all night long. Windows at upper floors had been broken, a tree was burnt to ashes and a mudslide unrooted a part of the orchard.
And it had been this night, in chaos, rain and thunder, and the lights that inlayed cruel shadows in the walls, while the dying passage flower was losing its last petal, Killua was born.