There comes a time in life where one would ask themselves: what in the Sam Hill am I doing here?
That's what Courier Six was thinking when he thought about his predicament. Sitting at a table at the Atomic Wrangler, listening to Sue ramble on about the grizzled hobo's backstory, Dave couldn't help but think "This guy's fucking crazy!". And how can he be surprised? The ghoul's a raging alcoholic - as evidenced by the bundle of shot glasses he's drunk from polluting the casino's floor - for crying out loud! Who can trust in such a person? Six can't, that's for sure.
"... and that's why you have to kill the guy. He's too dangerous." Sue finally finished.
"I'm sorry, what? I didn't quite catch what you were saying."
Courier Six was never the greatest of listeners; he was dozing off during the entirety of this meeting.
" I said: Jack is a really dangerous guy, and you'll have to take him out. Take him out discretely and effectively, that's all I ask. After that, you get your 10,000 caps, I go home and drink to a job well done and you can be on your way and do the same. Understood, Dave?" he asked, taking a piece of fried squirrel - beer-battered, of course - and swallowing it whole, bones and all.
"Yeah, yeah," Six waved off, "but why exactly do I have to kill him? Sorry, I didn't quite get it the first time."
"Well if you insist..."
"It all started when I was a young man, before the War... The government was experimenting on people, and I-"
"I'm gonna stop you right there, Sue, I'm gonna stop you right there, but I don't care, Sue, I really don't care, Sue, like, if I'm being honest right now, Sue, I don't care, like, I really, really don't care, Sue. Okay, Sue? I hope you understand, Sue, but I don't need to know the full details of things, Sue. Like, I really don't give a shit, Sue, I don't need to know the whole backstory between you and Old Hobo McGee - oh, I'm sorry, I mean Old Hobo Jack, Sue - sitting outside, Sue. I hope you understand, Sue. You know, Sue? It's just that I don't think that the information you're giving me will really help, Sue. Alright, Sue? Alright."
"..."
"... Sue..."
"I-"
"Oh my God, Sue, we already talked about this, Sue! Everything that needs to be discussed has been discussed, Sue! Like, Sue, seriously, Sue, I don't need the info you're giving me, Sue. I really don't need it, Sue. Okay, Sue? I really don't need it!"
"You're an asshole, you know that?"
"Well, Sue, that's all relative; I'm gonna stop you right-"
"Alright, alright, just shut up, asshole, and do your job!" Sue whisper-yelled as he slammed a silenced .22 pistol on the table.
"This'll be easy." Six replied assuredly as he got up, stuffing the pistol in his pants.
"This'll be easy," Six hesitantly murmured to himself as he eyed a hobo sitting at a fire. "All by his lonesome, too. That'll make it ten times easier."
No one's around, now's the time; you're golden, he thought, assuring himself.
He approached the hobo, Jack, and pulled out his silenced pistol.
Author's note: Another chapter after a long absence. Straight-off-the-press, as per usual. I don't know why I stopped, nor do I know why I started writing this again, but I'm having fun.
Just to let you know, that Sue Rant was supposed to be longer, but my Internet crashed and I was forced to restart; a shame, it was over a dozen lines.
Hope you enjoyed. Comments and criticisms are welcomed.