Well, I moved in to a new apartment - it isn't so bad. So long as we have the internet, food, bed and a roof over us. I'll shut the fuck up now and let you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: Red vs Blue are owned by Rooster Teeth. Always will. I own OCs, like Erica, for example.

"Ooooh yeah… that's nice," Andy moaned out.

"…This is making me uncomfortable," I said with a look.

"Keep rubbing!" I sighed as I rubbed some wax onto him. Seriously, why would a bomb need waxing? Is this a form of revenge? Maybe this is karma after all…

"All right," I gave a resigned sigh.

"That's more like it."

At least it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Still… where did this even come from? Though, I guess it's best if I don't question it. At least it couldn't get any worse than this-

"Uh…" I jumped and looked behind me…seeing Mikey there. "What are you doing?"

"…Polishing Andy," I answered.

"Oh. We were wondering where you went," Mikey said.

"Well, I'd doubt they were worried about me," I said as I went back to rubbing.

"Well, Church was rather mad since you went in here."

I rolled my eyes. "What else is new?"

"By the way, have you seen the alien?" Mikey then asked me.

Oh. I forgot all about him. "He's around, somewhere," I said absently.

"Like the shadow that's next to you?" He asked. I looked over to see the shadow, and I looked up.

"…Oh."

"Blargh," the alien sounded bored.

"Sorry," I said, going back to my work. "I didn't mean to forget you. Andy, am I even done?"

"You've been rubbing for a minute," the bomb said. "Ya ain't nowhere near finished."

…My arms are getting tired. But I bit back my retort, considering that I consider this as what I owe karma.

"Well… can one of you guys talk with him?" I asked. "Please?"

"Okay!" Mikey nodded.

I tuned the conversation out as I focused on my work. The one thing I learned while being with these guys – and training with Tex – is that tuning everything out is a good thing if you want to focus on something. Besides, I kind of know the song and dance of what's going on…but it's only for polishing Andy.

Seriously, where did he even get these things?

I'm not sure how long I've been rubbing him but then I heard, "HOLY SHIT!"

That honestly made me jump. "What?" I exclaimed, looking around.

And then I saw Church, who stared at me. "…What the fuck are you even doing?"

"…Polishing Andy?" I asked.

"Where did he even get these?" He asked, looking at the waxing kit.

"I stopped questioning these a long time ago," I said. "…That and I'm probably boring the fuck out of our alien friend here."

"Blargh." I seriously wish I can understand him.

"So…he didn't do anything to you?" Church asked me, sounding incredulous.

"Well… he surprised me, that much I can tell you," I said. I looked at Andy. "Am I done now?"

"Well, considering the bitch squad is here, might as well," Andy said.

"Hey, who the hell are you calling bitches?" Church asked with a look.

"You." I can't help but take a jab at him.

"Hey!"

"You are."

"Hargh," the alien said, bored.

"I know, right?" Andy asked. "These guys have always been weird."

Oh, so he now decided to translate? I bit my tongue, because I got enough negative karma points to make things go to shit.

"…Should I even ask?" Tex then asked. Her body is still there, so it looked like she didn't attempt to come in here. Otherwise, I would have heard something a while back.

"For your sanity, don't," I answered. "…Or what sanity we have left."

"Hmm, I'll take your word for it."

"I'm surprised that the alien didn't attack you," Church then said to me.

"I probably bored him out of his mind with what I'm doing," I answered. "That and he pretty much understands US – we don't understand him. It's Lopez all over again."

"Then don't you dare do your shit then!"

"I ain't! I got to the point didn't I?"

The Sangheili gave an annoyed grunt.

"Sorry, it's kind of a part of our charm," I said to Chrunchbite.

"You can understand it?" Church asked me.

"No, I pretty much guessed on what he said." I stood up, and nearly stumbled. "Ugh, my legs are asleep…"

And in comes Lav with his gun out. "What's going on here?" he asked.

"Nothing much," I answered before shrugging. "Same stuff, different day."

Then Lav started to gag. "Ugh! God what the fuck is that stench?"

"What stench?" Some of us asked.

"Don't you guys smell that?"

I sniffed the air. "…I think that's us – we haven't bathed in a while," I said. "Well, the three of us."

Lav then started to cough. "No, it smells like a skunk juggling dead hamsters!" He waved his hand in the air. "Whew!"

"…Tex why didn't you pack some soap?" I asked the black armored Freelancer.

"I would but… you know," she said to me.

"Hmm…I guess I would see your point." As soon as we get back to Blood Gulch, I'm taking a long deserved shower.

"Can we get back to the alien, please?" Church interrupted us before jabbing his thumb at Chrunchbite. "…And what the hell were you doing polishing Andy?" He then asked me.

"It was mostly for a favor," I answered. "Andy may or may not be the only person with us who could understand him."

"How'd you figure that?" Church had his hands on his hips and tilting his head a little.

Tex rubbed her chin. "Well, I did make him from a protocol robot, so he would be able to translate languages."

"Wait, seriously?" Church made a motion like he blinked in surprise at her.

"Seriously."

"…Okay, then Andy, can you translate for us?" Church asked the bomb.

"Why should I?" Andy asked.

"Okay, we honestly have no idea why the alien is here," I began – though I know why Chrunchbite is here – holding my hands up. "So…if we help him to make him go on his way, he'll probably leave us alone and we can figure out where to go from there. Like…a way to find the Reds. Or something, I don't fucking know."

"Yeah, as much as this place is the only shelter from where we were, it's starting to suck," Lav agreed.

"That and we're a bit low on food," I added. "We did our best to hide most of our food from Grif, but… well, at least you two are ghosts, so you don't have to eat."

"Yay," Church said dryly.

"Quit your bitching, you should be thankful that you don't have to use the toilet," I pointed out with a look. "Among other things."

"But I still want to taste food, dammit!"

"You're a robot though!"

"It doesn't mean I won't try!"

Okay, I'm ending this. "ANYWAY! Let's just try to help our alien friend here."

"Wharg."

"He wouldn't say 'friends' but he's appreciative of your help," Andy spoke up.

"Whatever works," I shrugged.

"Oh! Are we keeping him?" Mikey asked, excitedly. "If we are, he needs a real name, like Fluffy!"

"Fluffy?" Lav sputtered.

"Fluffy! The alien that only loves!"

"…No," I said.

"Yeah, he's got to have a name," Lav said. "Why don't we just ask him?" He looked at the alien. "Hey alien dude, what's your name?"

"Like, I'm Erica, that's Lavernius, that's Leonard," I said before I pointed at myself, at Lav, then at Church-

And Lav pointed at Tex. "And that's Bitch-pants McCrabby."

"Hey!"

"Well, that's what we call you!"

"Not me," Mikey then spoke up. "I call you Mrs. McCrabby."

"Thanks…" Tex muttered.

"Okay, so, what's your name?" Church asked the alien.

"Hernk Hurnk."

We looked at Andy. "…Well?" I asked after a few moments.

"…Uh…I think we should just call him by what Caboose called him," Andy said.

"Wait, why?" I asked, blinking. I actually wanted to know his real name.

"Trust me, if you hear his name, well…I won't be held responsible for what'll happen."

"Why?"

"Not saying anything else!"

I made a face at that. "…Okay? So… Crunchbite?"

"Yeah, it'll do," Andy said.

"…Okay, so what are you looking for, uh, Crunchbite?" Church asked the Sangheili.

I can't believe we're actually doing this.

~o~

"Okay, first of all, he says he's looking for something," Andy spoke up after a while. "He's been trying to find it, but it isn't where it was supposed to be."

"What is the something?" I asked.

"A relic of great importance that would be used to help his race," Andy answered. "Apparently it's in a shape of a sword."

I noticed Lav and Tex freezing up.

"Uh…cool, good luck finding it," Lav said awkwardly.

"Yeah… uh, we scanned the place already but we haven't found anything," Tex agreed.

But then, "Uh, but wouldn't it be the thing that Tucker has?" Mikey asked.

"What thing?" Andy asked.

"The thing that Tucker has," Mikey said.

"I know that, but what IS the thing?" Andy asked, sounding annoyed.

I looked between them for a few moments before I held up my hands. "Okay…but Crunchbite, can you promise that you wouldn't try to kill him if we showed you?"

"Wharg?" The Sangheili tilted his head at us.

"Please?" I asked him.

He stared at us for a while before nodding. I looked at Lav. "Uh…see if you can show him," I said. A part of me still think that Lav is still going to get the crap beat out of him, though.

"Uh, okay," he said before he got out the sword, and for some reason he flicked it on.

I honestly kind of expected it, but I still jumped when Crunchbite _roared_ and tackled Lav – the latter giving out a cry of shock at that – and we could only watch as he proceeds to beat the crap out of him. "OW! OW! SOMEONE GET HIM OFF OF ME!" He shouted.

"…Umm…" I looked at the others. "Should we do something?"

"You seriously want us to get between a pissed off alien and the source of what pissed him off?" Church asked me with an incredulous tone.

"Would you rather be down a man and have Mikey and I as company for the rest of your life, with Tex doing whatever she wants?" I asked back.

"…Ugh…" Church groaned. He put a hand to his visor and slid it down. "Fine! Let's break them apart.

~o~

It actually took us a while to pry Crunchbite away from Lav, and another while to get our aqua clad swordsman patched up. That alien hits HARD – I'm going to have more bruises than back home after this is over. It's mostly from my accidents (or me not paying attention), but jeez.

"Ugh…" Lav moaned out.

"You'll be feeling that in the morning huh?" I asked him.

"Yeah…" He nodded. Hmm, none of his catch phrase? I guess he must be hurtin' a lot to not be able to say it.

But I choose not to comment on it, looking back at Crunchbite and Andy as the Sangheili said a lot of 'blargs' and 'honks'.

…But seriously, the Sangheili don't say those, right? Is that-is that how some of them tries to speak English? Because I'm pretty sure that they have their own language. Hell, other countries on Earth have millions of languages. Different dialects and shit. It's not that I care but… holy shit. Why so many languages?

I forced myself out of my thoughts, in time for Andy to speak up, "Okay he's pissed off right now."

"We can get that. He nearly beat Tucker to death…and nearly beat US to death," I said. "…But, I guess that's on us, huh?"

"Of course it is!" Andy let out. "And since the teal one took it, it's now gone."

"Who's the teal one?" Lav asked.

"You are, idiot," Tex answered with an annoyed tone.

"No way, I'm aqua," he said. "Teal's out."

"…Looks teal to us right now," I pointed out.

Church groaned. "Why say the sword is broken?" He asked, getting back to the matter at hand. "It works fine for Tucker."

"Argh blargh!" Crunchbite let out.

"He says it only works with the hero who passes the trial of the windmill, and retrieves it from its resting place," Andy translated. "For everyone else, it might as well be broken."

…And seriously, how is that a trial? Lav and I just fell down a hole. Granted we weren't paying attention but…

"Trial?" Lav repeated before he waved it off. "Please, I fell in a hole, that's not a trial." There's a grin in his voice as he adds, "I'm startin' to like this culture though, any dude who trips is a hero. I'm pretty sure that makes Caboose God."

I blinked. Why am I getting a feeling that Caboose would be able to find a door that breaks the fourth wall…?

"This all sounds like bullshit to me," Church said.

"No he's right," Tex pointed out. "It didn't work for me, remember?"

"Of course it didn't work for you, you're a girl," Church said. "I mean you can't even work the entertainment center back at the base. Doesn't mean the remote control is mythically attached to us."

I gave a look at Church. "…That's sexist as shit, Church," I said.

"I haven't seen you work on it either," he then directed it at me.

"I was afraid that I would somehow break it!" I retorted at him. "Or make it not work somehow. I may not know a thing or two about computers, but at least I can shoot a sniper rifle better than you can."

I heard a snort from Tex.

"Oh fuck you," Church said with a bit of a tone.

"Nah, you'd probably be pathetic," I said, shrugging. "And if you think you're better, then pick it up and try it."

Church glances at Tucker's sword, then at Crunchbite, who gave, 'hur hur hur hur' at him, as if daring him to try it. After a moment, he said, "Nah, I'll take his world for it."

"That's what I thought," I muttered.

"I heard that!"

Then Crunchbite speaks to us again. And Andy translated: "And now you gotta go with him, to fulfill the prophecy."

Is there even a prophecy?

"Fuck you," Lav said in response.

Crunchbite gave some grunts at that.

Andy chuckled. "Good one." Then he said, "Uh oh, yeah, he…he's not too thrilled about it either."

"Well, this was a bad idea from the start," Lav said with a look. "Sorry to fuck up your quest, dude, but I'm not goin'."

And then Andy adds, "And if you don't go, he'll destroy the base, and kill everybody here."

Welp, that's a deal breaker.

Church looked at Lav. "…Alright well have fun guys," he said with a false joyful tone.

"Hey a quest sounds fun, come on Tucker!" Tex agreed with the same false happy tone.

"Eh, I think he should stay here, because I like that killing everybody option," Andy commented.

"We'd rather enjoy living, thank you," I said with a bored look.

~o~

The Blues (and Tex) are on the shore along with Crunchbite and Andy, as the alien continued to speak to the bomb.

"Then after we cross the Burning Plane of Honka Hill, we're gonna reach the Freezing Plains of Blarganthia," Andy listed.

"The Burning Plains are next to the Freezing Plains?" Caboose parroted, scratching his head. "I bet there's some pretty wet plains in between."

"This is so dumb," Tucker said with a bored look, "I'm not doing this."

"Hey, news flash, you don't have a choice," Church pointed out, equally bored – even though a half of him agrees that it is getting rather stupid. "You're the one that picked up the sword and locked it to yourself."

"I know!" Tucker exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "And I'm so used to picking up things, and not letting them get attached." After a pause, he finishes with, "…I'm talkin' about women."

"Do you even have a girlfriend?" Erica asked with a bored tone. "Or even get laid?"

Church expertly ignores the two, as Tex said to Tucker, "Don't worry Tucker, we're not gonna send you alone."

"You're coming with me Tex?" Tucker asked hopefully.

"Me? Hell no!" Tex held up her hands. "This is the first thing you wimp have done that actually sounds dangerous."

No comment from Erica. But he did hear a grunt from her.

Tucker then slumps his shoulder a little. "Well I'm not going with Church," he said, "that guy's a worse fighter than I am."

"Well you're in luck then, because I'm not going either," Church corrected.

"What? Then who?"

He just gestures to Caboose.

"No fucking way," Tucker shook his head. "I'm not going with him."

"Sorry but it looks like Mikey is in your party," Erica shrugged.

"Why can't you come with me?" Tucker asked her.

Crunchbite then spoke up.

"Huh? Uh, all right." Andy cleared his throat. "Apparently, there's something about you that isn't right, so he isn't risking you to come along and jeopardize the mission."

"I'm not that much of a screw up," she said.

"Blarg," Crunchbite said.

"Sorry, but it's final. You can't go," Andy said.

For a while, the indigo armored female stared at the alien. He thought that she would complain…but she lowered her head a little. "…Huh. Okay…?"

Again, if Church had eyeballs, he would have blinked.

Erica looked at Tucker. "Well, sorry, I guess you'll have to settle for Mikey."

"This is some bullshit…" He muttered.

"Oh, oh, oh," Caboose clapped his hands in glee. "I hope we meet a Cleric along the way. None of us knows how to heal."

Crunchbite spoke up, and Andy translated, "He says he's a healer."

"Oh good," Caboose sighed in relief.

Andy chuckled. "Not really, they eat their wounded."

"Oh. Just like chiropractors."

Erica looked at him. "What?"

"This is a joke, right?" Tucker began, looking at Church. "You're sending Caboose? What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?" Church repeated. "I saw a chance to get rid of Caboose and I took it. There's nothing wrong with me."

"And I'm mostly quiet and out of the way," Erica added. "So you may or may not realize I'm there half the time."

That part is true. In a sense, Church supposes.

Caboose tapped his chin. "Okay, so, um, Tucker is a fighter, uh Crunchbite is the healer, and I am the powerful…and intelligent, wizard. Morphumax."

"What the hell does that make me?" Andy asked.

"You're the good looking and stealthy archer," Caboose answered.

"A bow and arrow- I don't have any arms, you freakin' moron!"

"That is what makes you so stealthy." Caboose leaned back to look up at the sky. "This is going to be the best party ever."

"…Uh… I think Andy would be more of a mascot…one of those that can actually do something other than 'Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen!' all the time," Erica said. She then seems to think about it. "And Lav would be more of a swordsman, and Crunchbite…a battle mage that heals. That makes more sense."

"You can nerd out about it later," Church told her.

"I play video games, I'm not one of those extreme nerds who play board games like Dungeons and Dragons," Erica said back.

Tucker groaned. "I'm gonna fucking die."

"No you won't," Erica said to him.

"Of course I will!" He retorted. "Like hell Caboose can help protect us!"

"Well, then I guess this is it Tucker," Church said, patting him on the shoulder. "Nice knowing ya!"

Tucker gave a look at him. "You better hope that I don't die, because if I do, you're the one taking care of my kids."

Church blinked. "You have kids?"

"Probably," Tucker shrugged.

"…Do you?" Erica questioned.

"Shut up," Tucker said hotly.

A few minutes later, the odd motely group of two humans, a bomb, and an alien gathered what they can. Church was lucky that Tex managed to get the coordinates to where the Reds are going before they left (how she does that is a mystery even to him; then again, Freelancer), so they wouldn't have to be stuck here. She also has it implanted into Andy just in case something goes wrong in their mission. But knowing them, things are bound to go wrong.

"Well, good luck guys," Church said to them. "Don't forget to change your underwear at least once a day." He looks at Tucker. "Tucker, that goes double for you."

"What? I'm the cleanest guy here," Tucker said.

"No, it goes double for you because now you're in charge of changing Caboose as well."

Tucker stared at him. "I hate you."

"Blorgh!" Erica jumped at that.

"Jesus Christ you scared me!" She yelped out, with Andy laughing.

After he was done, Andy translated, "He doesn't wear any pants."

"Yeah, we noticed," Tucker deadpanned. "If we meet anybody on this adventure, that might have to change."

"Why, we're used to being naked," Andy continued for Crunchbite. "Free-balling, come on! Commando."

"Could you please be quiet?" Erica asked, keeping her eyes up. "I don't want to add any more images. And besides, I'm not a perv, like Lav and Tex."

Case in point, Tex staring at the southern region of the alien, with her jerking.

"Huh what- oh, fyeah," Tex began, sounding flustered. "Uh- I was just admiring his, his alien, muscle structure."

"Yeah one particular part of his muscle structure," Tucker said.

"Well that's just a matter of penis-" then she realized what she just said. "I mean opinion. Opinion. That-that's just…"

"Smooth," Church let out, bored as Erica snickered.

Too bad that she had to be mother hen earlier by telling Caboose that it's not a 'third arm', like they said, and carefully explained to him about the penis. Then she lectured them about abusing the poor guy about things like that. Caboose was asking for it with how dumb he is.

Church shook his head and took Tucker aside. "Tucker come here, I want to talk to you for a second."

"Okay, about what?" Tucker asked.

"Listen, just drop off this weapon, and get back to Blue Base as fast as you can," Church instructed.

"What if I have to kill stuff dude? I'm a lover, not a fighter."

"Hey now Tucker I'm the same way," Church said, waving his hand a bit. "That's why we get along so well. We're both just a couple of lovers."

Tucker stared at him, just as he realized what he just said. "That sounded kinda guy dude."

"Yeah it did," Church agreed, sheepish. "Uhm…I feel obligated to say something encouraging as your boss-"

"Our Captain died," Tucker pointed out. "You're just the guy pretending to be my boss."

"We, you know in our given situation technically you could be seen as one of my employees-"

"Except that I'm not."

Church can feel annoyance coming up. "Echch, whatever! Listen, I just, as, as someone in an employee/manager relationship-"

"Which doesn't exist."

Church palmed his face and groaned.

"…Why did you pull me aside again?" Tucker asked him.

"You know I'm sure it was to say something inspiring or, something but now, I just don't care," Church said, annoyance evident in his voice.

Tucker stared at him before backing off. "Yeah, Imma gonna go man," he said, before he went off to where the other three are.

"Huuuuuuur!" Crunchbite called out before they left.

"Hey ladies! Come on, hustle up!" Andy called out. "If you gotta use the bathroom, do it now because I'm not pulling over."

Sure enough, the four of them are gone, and a few minutes later, the sounds of waves rolling are the only thing heard.

"…And they're gone," Erica said after a few moments of silence.

Church gave a look at her. "You just had to ruin it." She shrugged. He looked at Tex. "But, you know I have to say I'm a little surprised that you're not going with them."

"Why? Quests are dangerous," Tex said.

"Yeah but they usually have some kind of big reward at the end you know like some, big treasure chest or, an entire room filled with gold and art," Church listed off. "It's not really like you to pass up on something like that Tex."

There was silence.

"…Tex?" He called out.

"Uh…she kind of left," Erica said, as Tex is indeed gone.

Church sighed. "I really should have seen that coming."

Erica shrugged. "Well, Tex is Tex without her perks," she said. "But let's get out of here. We got a long journey ahead of us."

Church sighed again. "Just-just don't talk too much."

"Okay. I don't talk much at all sometimes."

At this point, Church doesn't care. They soon headed off towards the direction where the Reds went.

~o~

The whole time we were walking back to Blood Gulch, I was thinking about how Crunchbite wouldn't let me join the quest. I mean, I'm somewhat capable, but I'm still a sim trooper. Though…I couldn't help but find it strange that the Sangheili wouldn't let me – was there something about me that Sangheili don't like? Did Gamma say anything to him about me? I'm not sure, and this is going to bother me for a while.

The walk was mostly silent, but for both of our sakes I kept quiet…but unfortunately, my thoughts aren't so quiet. Because of the helmet I wear, I glance over at Church every now and then. We don't get along as much, unlike how I got along with Lav and Mikey, and some days Tex. Some of the Reds warmed up to me (not all the way for Simmons though) but… most of the reason why is because…

I knew that Church will die. Alpha anyway, followed by the Director…but what about Epsilon? The Alpha AI and his fragments are old, they wouldn't live much longer, would they…?

The Alpha had had his psyche torn up to the point he's reduced to…this – an angry, bitter shell of his former self. Everything he felt, experienced and such filled in the 'holes' in the void to have him unconsciously remember what those feel like. Because he was using Jimmy's body, he remembers how those felt.

And he died believing that he was a ghost. Getting to know Church…I can't help but feel sorry for him, but I had mixed feelings about the real Leonard Church, who Alpha is made after. When Tex was 'born' she was told that she was a human, and made into an agent. It gave him an idea to try to do the same…but couldn't. So they had to fracture the AI's mind. To derive Alpha of them to make more…I can understand it's to research more onto aggressive AI, to find out how to handle Rampancy better. The logical part of me anyway…but… the emotional side is disgusted of this torture.

There's nothing wrong with having emotions, it helps remind you that you're a human, even if it can sometimes rule your judgement. But there's also nothing wrong with having reason, it keeps you from doing reckless things, but relying on it too much would make you seem like a robot. No matter how good you are at something, you're still human. We have limits – so do machines. Eventually they break. Some people don't even get that. Nothing can be 'perfect'.

And the whole time, the Director had been trying to have Tex be the Allison he remembers…but he also failed in that, because the last thing he remembers of her is of the last time he saw her. That he failed to stop her…or she failed to come back alive. Things happen in life and we can't do something about it… but…

Memories are what makes us who we are…but at times, they could also hold us back. Only if we choose to let them hold us back.

It's hard to let go and move on – it's a long and difficult process to heal from wounds that cuts you into your soul. People can choose to heal with help…and some don't.

People are so weird and so…complex. I hardly understand them, including myself.

I glanced at Church again. Right. Back to the main point.

It's because of the fact that Church will die was why I didn't bother trying to get along with him. To not let myself get attached…but I instead got attached to Lav and Mikey. If those two die…I'm not sure on what I'll do. But what about Tex? Even if she knew on what would happen from within my mind, not even she will be able to escape.

My logical part of me knew it…but the other part of me wanted her to survive somehow.

Thinking of the events at Zanzibar…am I really powerless to alter fate? …No, I'm not all that powerless. Even if I do know of what may happen, I can't really stop it, true…but maybe what matters most is me lessening the damage that would be dealt with. Knowing about what may happen and experiencing it are two different things.

I glanced at Church again.

…Maybe it's best if I focus on the 'now' and worry about 'then' later. I'll end up having more grey hairs than my dad at this rate. Or anyone else.

I heaved a sigh.

"What are you sighing about?" Church asked me. It had been silent for a while, so it kind of startled me.

"Uh… my mind is kind of mean," I answered. "I think too much, and I mentally brood too much."

Church gave a sigh. "If only you went with them," he muttered.

…Seriously, the Reds don't have to put up with this. Do they? Well, whatever, I don't give a shit anymore about this.

"…Are we there yet?" I asked.

"Not yet," Church said.

"Okay." I shut up after that. I don't want to be that person.

…How long have we been walking? I have no idea; I didn't see the time before we left. That's on me. I just gotta stay quiet and bear with it.

~o~

After what felt like hours, we found a large stone wall. Not only that, we found tire tracks as well, leading up to it. Considering that it's in the same direction as the signal came from, we followed the tracks the rest of the way, and we found the opening. Once we went through the tunnel…

We found ourselves in Blood Gulch.

"Oh my fucking god," Church muttered.

"…Well, it's better than where we're hanging out at," I said.

"…True. But the place looks a little different."

"The grass grew in a few places, the bases looked different…but it's still the same."

"Yeah, that's true. Let's check on Blue Base first." And Church began his decent down to the canyon.

I looked up and around it. It's only been a few months since we're gone. And the other guys of Blood Gulch are dumb enough to believe that that we did time traveled.

Though sometimes 'dumb' is good.

After a moment, I said, "Right…" and I followed the de-facto leader down. We got to the entrance and we heard voices. We glanced at each other before we actually did something rather smart: we slowly snuck in there, with the voices getting a bit louder. It wasn't long until I recognize one of them being Sarge. And the other being Simmons.

I stayed behind to let Church go on, as Sarge said, "Well, it hurts me almost as much as it hurts you."

"I don't buy that either," Simmons deadpanned.

Sarge or even Simmons aren't aware of Church slowly approaching Sarge from behind, as the older Red sighed. "Well I am the one who has to clean the shotgun later, and those solvents smell so-"

"Booyeah!" Church exclaimed, smashing the butt of the sniper rifle at the back of Sarge's head. The red made an undignified sound as he hits the ground.

"Ooh, the back of your head," Simmons winced.

"Well that was close," Church said, lowering the gun and sounding rather pleased with himself. "I've always wanted to say 'booyeah' too, that was awesome."

"Really?" I deadpanned as I emerged. "Well, at least we knocked him out.

"Wh-where the hell did you guys come from?" Simmons sputtered. Clearly he hadn't expected to see us.

"We just got here," I answered. "Should we even ask on what's going on here?" I glanced at Sarge, as he groaned. "Church, hit him again." And he did, with Sarge groaning again. "Thank you."

"Anyways, you must be one of the new Blues that took over our base after we left," Church said to Simmons. He held up his hand. "Listen, don't be afraid, but the two of us are from the past."

"Why would I be afraid of someone from the past?" Simmons questioned. "People from the future are scary. People from the past are savages and idiots."

"…Well I can agree with that last part," I said with a look. I looked at Sarge. "…Maybe it's best if we can just load him onto the jeep and get him the hell out of our base."

"Why? We can keep him prisoner in this hole," Simmons said, gesturing to one of them.

"We have holes now? That's awesome!" Church admitted.

"Yeah, but they clearly lost this, so it's better if we put them onto the jeep, drive them back to Red base and just leave them there," I said. "…And maybe steal their jeep back as well."

"…I think I like that idea better," Church said. "Let's do it."

"…Just like that?" Simmons asked, confused.

"Hey, we're not that vicious," I told him. "A little kindness can go a long way. You should take it to heart, soldier."

"Hey, help me get him to the jeep," Church told me.

"All right," I nodded.

"Uh, I'll go check on the other prisoner," Simmons said. "There's another one down in the hole. So…I'll leave you guys to it." He then left.

After he's gone, I looked at Church. "Are you really fooled by that?"

"Nah, not really," Church shrugged. "I knew it was Simmons right off the back."

"Yeah… I can tell just by the voice and some maroon patches on his armor," I nodded. "Seriously, who does he think he's fooling?"

Church nodded. After a moment, he asked, "Wanna troll on him for a little while?"

"…You go have fun," I said. "It's compensating for how boring Zanzibar is."

"You're a stick in the mud."

"I don't have a mean bone in my body," I shrugged. "I can be selfish, but I can't hide my intentions pretty well. That's why I never pranked anyone."

"Oh, well, then we'll have to fix that later," Church said. "In the meantime, help me get Sarge onto the Warthog."

I shrugged. "I have nothing better to do."

We're back in Blood Gulch, whether we like it or not.

So Erica is at Blood Gulch, hanging out with Church and Simmons for a while as the rest go on a 'quest'. We all know how well that one will be. Though, for some reason, the alien (aka Crunchbite) wouldn't let her go with them. Hmm... I wonder why. Well, I know why but I won't tell you guys.

No spoilers. I did that too much for me, but I ain't doing it to you. I'm not that kind of person.

Leave a review if you liked this chapter. Any flames I get...hmm, what to do with them. Eh, whatever, I'll just give them as ammo to someone else. Flames are pointless.

(...And oh fuck, I'm starting to be like the Blood Gulchers.)