"Are you going to die?" Georgie asked cautiously, her face tear stained and filled with fear.
Lou paused for a brief second, she didn't know how to answer. She had known this was the one thing Georgie would be sure to ask. How could she reassure her, when in all honesty, it was a possibility. This was a thought that Lou had been trying to push to the back of her mind and the moments that it did reach the forefront, she would feel devastated all over again. Life felt very short all of a sudden. Calming her anxieties, Lou took her daughter by the hand.
"Georgie, sweetheart... We don't know that I have anything wrong for sure but if I do, you can bet your damnest that I am going to fight it tooth and nail" Lou said confidently, knowing nothing she said was a lie, giving her comfort in her avoidance.
"But what if..." Georgie wasn't convinced.
"We will cross every bridge as we come to it and I will be here for you every step of the way for any questions you have" Lou said while hugging her again before asking. "Do you want to go back downstairs?" Offering Georgie an escape from the heavy conversation and if she were honest - herself too.
"Can I stay here?" Georgie asked with wide, sad eyes.
"Of course you can… would you like me to stay with you?" Lou checked before getting up to leave.
"It's okay... you should go rescue Caleb" Georgie giggled, breaking the atmosphere.
Lou joined her daughter in her laughing. She was so proud of Georgie at that moment, being able to make fun of her while being so scared and upset, showed Lou just how strong her daughter was. Georgie had such resilience and character, that Lou couldn't help but feel inspired by her. She was beginning to see she had the makings of quite an army behind her now between her family and Caleb. She was surprised to be walking away from the worst conversation of her life with a genuine smile and a heart filled with pride.
Lou paused at the top of the stairs, listening to see if the coast was clear and everyone had calmed down. Although she was pleased with how her confession to Georgie had gone, she felt completely drained emotionally. She wasn't in the mood for her dad giving her grief over what her and Caleb may or may not mean to each other. After all she wasn't really sure herself, they hadn't got to that discussion yet. After dumping him in the deep end at the dinner table, she wasn't sure they ever would. What's the worst that could happen? She thought to herself, before continuing downstairs.
Amy was helping clear the table with Ty, while Lisa was getting the water ready for the dishes in the kitchen. There was no sign of her grandpa, dad or Caleb anywhere - there was no telling if that was a good or a bad sign. Craving some normality she went through to the kitchen.
"Would you like me to wash?" Lou asked Lisa hopefully.
"It's okay Lou, I don't mind" Lisa replied helpfully before noticing the disappointment on Lou's face and recovered quickly "You could dry if you'd like?"
Lou smiled picking up the towel, it was a welcome relief to be understood, more so at a time like this. She longed to feel like her old self. As she started the pleasantly mundane task of drying the dishes, Lou could hear Amy and Ty laughing in the other room. She could lose herself in the familiar happy sounds of her family as she slowly and methodically moved the towel around the dinnerware. With every repetitive motion she would be swept away from her worries, she was home now. This was who she was, not a possible cancer patient but a mother, a sister, a daughter and granddaughter. In that moment she knew she had to try keep both sides separate if she was going to get through this mentally.
The shrill sound of the phone ringing abruptly cut through the air.
"Lou… it's for you, it's the hospital" Amy said handing Lou the phone, concern etched on her face given the time of day. No good news ever came in the evening.
Lou took the phone from Amy candidly, her expression mirroring that of her sister's. She felt aware through the phone call that her family were watching her for some sort of reaction to what was being said on the other end of the line, so she made sure to try and smile to them warmly to ease their fears while listening intently.
"They have had a cancellation" Lou explained after she hung up. "They wanted to see if I could go in for a MRI scan tomorrow, as usually there would be a longer wait for one"
"If you need a ride Lou I would be happy to help out" Lisa offered kindly, "Or I can watch the girls if that's better for you. Whatever you need"
"Same here Lou, Georgie can help me with the horses again if you need" Amy added.
"I'm happy to drive you" Ty said.
"Thank you all" Lou said beginning to feel overwhelmed. "I think I'll have an early night"
Lou walked off towards her room alone. For a brief moment she had felt like things would be back to normal and in an instant it had snapped back to facing her problems head on. Tomorrow she would have to go back to hospital. This journey was far from over, she could feel it in her bones.