Chapter 14 - Balut
...
House watched as she fastened her sandals. A short strapless dress. An oriental motif with dark green, blue, purple and red shades.
"You said you didn't like that dress..." he said, looking at her and smiling slightly.
Cuddy looked up and smiled.
"Because... well, it highlights a little too much my B-side" she said smiling and looking into his eyes, laughing and shaking her head.
"Well, Cuddy," he said laughing "... that's exactly why I like it"
He looked at her as she smiled, gently biting her lip and nodding.
"And that's exactly why I bought it," she said with a very mischievous look, standing up and approaching him "Because you liked it..." she pointed out, running her tongue on her lips.
He put his hands on her hips as she put her arms around his neck.
"So... did you buy it to have me staring at your ass?" He asked her looking at her lips and then at her eyes again.
"... to have you staring at me" She said, touching his lips with her tongue.
"You don't need this dress for that" he said with a mischievous look looking into her eyes and finding her tongue.
...
Where are we going? She asked as she walked beside him, in the opposite direction to that of the Resort restaurant.
"That is a great restaurant," he said nodding toward the Resort "... but you can't stay in the Philippines without tasting the real Filipino cuisine, Cuddy." He said turning his head to look at her.
"So... are you taking me out to dinner?" She asked turning in turn just her head toward him, smiling "... like a date, House?" She added, tilting her head to the side and looking into his eyes.
"One of the best restaurants in Boracay." He said looking back at her and smiling "Well, according to Helen at least" he said laughing "And... who knows, maybe you'll make an exception to your principles" he added, winking at her and taking her hand at the same time as she rolled her eyes.
...
They entered that quaint little restaurant. A bit far from the typical touristic streets. House had a few words with the woman who welcomed them and leaded them to their table. In Filipino.
"You're sexy when you speak a foreign language" she said, looking into his eyes as they sat down at the table.
"Just when I speak a foreign language?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
She replied just with a smile, running her tongue on her lips and taking the menu in front of herself.
House ordered a bottle of wine and watched her as she read the menu, biting his lip but unable to hold back a smile as he watched her.
He met her gaze as she suddenly looked up from the menu.
"Oh my God..." she said, looking at him "boiled fertilized duck egg?" She said, her eyes widening in a mixture of astonishment and disgust.
House couldn't help but laugh.
"The balut is considered a delicacy" he said, laughing.
"How can you eat a duck chick still in its egg, and consider it a delicacy?" She said, shaking her head, this time with a very disgusted look.
"A duck embryo, Cuddy!" He pointed out with a smile "Anyway... it's not different from eating a calf steak! A big-eyed cute calf. So, why are you shocked by a duck embryo and not by a poor calf? It's just a cultural issue"
She looked at him and gave him a nod somewhere between a yes and a no.
"Right" she said, smiling "You just reminded me why I should turn vegetarian"
"However, it's considered an aphrodisiac, Cuddy" he said with a smile, looking down at the menu again.
She couldn't hold back the laughter that escaped from her lips and House look up at her again, watching her as she nodded.
"Sure," she laughed "if you can have sex with me while holding my hair as I vomit... you're welcome!" She said, laughing as he laughed in turn.
"Fine" he said, shaking his head "I'd better order for you too" he added, smiling.
"No chicks" she said, staring at him.
"No embryos" He pointed out again, staring back at her.
Cuddy rolled her eyes and shook her head, however unable not to smile slightly.
"What's your problem with still-unborn living beings?" She said looking into his eyes.
"No problem with that, Cuddy," he said, shrugging slightly, "But they're embryos. It's not something you can contest" he said, still staring at her.
Cuddy just stared at him, then shaking her head slightly, looking down and biting her lip.
He watched as she swallowed, still looking at the menu in her hands, but not reading it. Her eyes focused on a fixed spot.
"Hey," he said as she didn't look up at him, "What did I say?" He said, looking at her as she swallowed again.
"Nothing, House" she replied, shaking her head again and looking up only for a split second before looking down again.
Nothing. He didn't have so much experience of romantic relationships, but he had enough to know that the faster a woman says nothing the bigger is the mess that is going to happen! What the hell had he said? They had talked about that dozens of times. A hundred perhaps. Wasn't it true that an embryo was an embryo? What the hell were they talking about? Shit... not about that damn boiled egg apparently...
"Hey..." he repeated reaching for her hand.
The fact she didn't move it away was actually something good... and he watched her as she looked at her own hand clasped in his, and at his thumb caressing it lightly.
"Um..." she sighed "sorry..." she said, looking up and briefly meeting his gaze again "Order whatever you want. Whatever without embryos will be fine," she said, as a smile that however didn't reach her eyes appeared on her lips "I'm starving ..:"
House continued to stare at her for a few seconds, but motioned to the waitress and ordered for both of them.
"Cuddy," he said, looking at her again as she took a sip of wine "What's wrong?" He asked meeting her gaze "When I behave like an asshole I do it on purpose. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred. This is not one of those times. What did I say?"
"Nothing," she repeated "Really... don't worry" she said, with another slight smile.
Definitely it wasn't a 'nothing'. It was quite something she didn't want to talk about...
...
House looked at the waitress as she placed on the table the serving of halo halo he had ordered while Cuddy was at the bathroom. He met her gaze as she walked back to the table and sat down again in front of him.
"You can't go back to Princeton without having tasted this first" he said with a smile, taking another sip of wine from his glass and watching her as she looked at the bowl in front of herself.
"Only if there are no boiled chicks into it " She answered, this time with a smile that made her eyes shine, watching the half coconut shell that was the bowl for that dish.
"Traumatized by balut!" He said, shaking his head and then gesturing to the waitress, probably ordering something else. She couldn't tell since he always talked to her strictly in Filipino.
House watched Cuddy as she sank the tip of her spoon into the bowl watching that dish with a slightly suspicious look.
Tropical fruits in what looked like a mix of shaved ice and evaporated milk... and maybe caramel... and colored jellies. She didn't eat jellies since... Honestly she didn't remember since when! She smiled. A dessert... definitely a dessert... But... corn? And... sweet beans? And... what? Sweet potatoes... A decidedly weird dessert... well... according to her standards of course!
She dug her spoon into that sort of creamy shaved ice and brought it to her mouth, letting that cold cream melt on her tongue.
Sweet... very sweet actually, but very refreshing too.
"It's really delicious" she said looking up and meeting House's eyes, who smiled back.
He looked at her as she dug the spoon into that creamy dessert again, then putting it near his lips, feeding him.
"That's how I got to know Helen" he said looking into her eyes and savoring that dessert, looking at the surprised and slightly quizzical expression in her eyes.
"Really?" It was the first word that found the way out of her lips.
He noticed the shadow that slightly darkened her eyes and he couldn't resist the temptation.
"Unlike you, I generally have sex even without a formal date" he replied holding her gaze, but not holding back a laugh at the look in her eyes.
He watched her as she slightly bit her lip, not replying. He could almost hear the sound of the thoughts spinning in her mind. She was annoyed. She knew that he had had several women and that they often were occasional relationships, but it wasn't just that... and what "was" gave him a strange feeling... Because in the end it was obvious what it was... she was jealous...
House couldn't help but smile.
"I was joking, Cuddy!" He laughed as her gaze didn't change "It's not at all what you're thinking about" he added, staring at her as she stared back, again without replying.
"One night she brought me a home-made serving of this in a Tupperware" he said, looking at her as she twirled the spoon in the cream, however not taking it to her mouth "She had been a good friend..." he said, looking at her again and smiling slightly " And you weren't a good company at all! " He added, looking at her as she nodded and this time smiled in turn.
The waitress distracted them from that conversation. She placed another bottle of wine on the table and a spoon in front of House.
Cuddy watched him as he took a spoonful of her dessert, smiling slightly as he still looked at his spoon, not at her. As if he was thinking about something.
... she'd say yes... Helen had told him that day ... and it hadn't been the first time ...
"What are you thinking about?" She asked, unable to smile as she watched him.
House looked up meeting her eyes.
"About..." he shook his head slightly and hesitated ... "well... she was even worse than Wilson! She kept telling me that I had to see myself while I was with you..." he said, avoiding her gaze and then looking up into her eyes.
And that I looked at you as if there was anything else in the world ... he added to himself, without giving voice to that thought.
"I used to reply saying her that she was a crazy old woman" he said, laughing, playing down that moment "... and she replied with an 'you're an idiot'!" He added, laughing again.
Cuddy couldn't help but smile and nodded as if to say 'well, she really knows you very well then!', biting her lip at the same time.
House watched her as she looked away in turn, then letting out a half-laugh, this time shaking her head. And he continued to watch her until he met her eyes again.
"Do you remember that Don Herrick?" She said looking into his eyes "That guy on Valentine's Day ..." she pointed out as if she had some doubts about whether he could remember him.
House didn't move and just looked at her. Of course he remembered that guy! The Shriner with the hair parted on the left!
"Well..." she continued, slightly shaking her head and smiling slightly "... that night, he practically told me the same"
"That you're an idiot?" He said, smiling mischievously and looking into her eyes.
"No, you idiot" she laughed deliberately stressing the word idiot and reaching for his hand on the table, then lacing her fingers with his.
He clasped her hand in his and stroked her fingers with his thumb. And again he longed that those three words could find the way out of his lips.
Fuck, Greg! Why is it so difficult? What are you so afraid of?
He knew that gestures counted more than words... but ... she had told him she loved him... he couldn't do it... why was it so difficult to talk about his feelings?
He caressed her hand again looking at her as she smiled. He had no doubt... Maybe he wasn't able to find the gut to say it out aloud, but... he loved her... he couldn't call in any other way that he felt for her... Being with her made him feel alive... and complete... for the first time in his life. And that feeling was even stronger than sex.
"...mahal kita..." He said, looking his own thumb stroking her hand and then looking up at her. *
Cuddy smiled, slightly bending her head to the side without taking her eyes from him.
"What?" She asked, smiling and stroking his hand in turn.
House smiled, lightly biting his lip.
"I said that..." he hesitated, looking into her eyes and shaking his head slightly "... that... it's right... I'm really an idiot!" he said, taking her hand near her mouth and touching it with his lips in a chaste kiss.
...
He kissed the side of her neck letting his stubble tickling her bare skin. He liked the way in which she tilted her head back in response to his kisses. They haven't had sex yet, but that gesture in itself was a sign of complicity.
He moved his hand from her shoulder to her waist, wrapping her body with his arm and then resting his hand on her hip, just stroking her with circular movements of his thumb.
He could feel her smile even if he couldn't see it. And he smiled back as she tilted back her head more, toward him, stroking his stubble and neck with her hand.
They stayed like that... while seconds became minutes... just listening to the sound of the waves against the beach and of the light wind through the palm leaves, mixing just with the sound of their breathing.
"When did it happen?" He asked on her neck, breaking the silence.
"Happened what?" She replied without moving an inch continuing to stroke his neck.
House didn't answer. He heard her sighing slightly and her hand stopped.
"Er... almost five months ago" she said still looking in front of her.
House didn't answer, but he just held her tighter, wrapping her body with both arms and kissing her temple before resting his chin on the top of her head.
"How happened that I didn't notice it?" He said, kissing her hair. A small laugh escaped her lips and she wrapped his arms more around her own body.
"You're not infallible, Dr. House" she said savoring the feeling of his lips that kissed her hair again.
"So did you ... give up?" He asked "... with in-vitro?"
She replied just with a shrug.
"Er... I'm fine like this" she said "... and... satisfying my ego wasn't a good reason to have a child" she added, shaking her head slightly.
She turned to him, putting her arms around his neck.
"Anyway... really ... I'm fine... and I'll settle for taking care of a 45-year-old boy" she said with a smile touching his lips.
House brushed her lips in turn, however, looking at her with a mischievous look.
"Who was he?" He asked failing to hold that question back "Please, tell me it was not that guy I met in your office! You wouldn't even get a ride from an idiot like that. Least at all a child!" He said touching her lips with his tongue as she smiled.
"I wasn't looking for a ride, House" she said laughing, still staring at him but deliberately not answering his question "Anyway... a quasi infectious-disease specialist and... musician ... you have to admit he was promising... " she said, raising an eyebrow and teasing him.
"Promising?" He replied, raising both his eyebrows and looking into her eyes, smiling back "The only word fitting for that guy was 'embarrassing', Cuddy! A woman like you doesn't know what to do with the losers swimmers of an embarrassing maybe-future-infectious disease specialist who probably barely plunk away on Mozart's score! Not when you can have those of a brilliant infectious disease specialist that can play Mozart with closed eyes, Cuddy!" He said watching as she looked away unable not to smile.
"Those of a...?" She repeated, then laughing and not finishing the sentence, gently shaking her head before looking at him in the eye again.
"Well, sooner or later I hope definitely yes! Actually sooner rather than later... and possibly not in a cup!" He added, laughing in turn watching her as she laughed, biting her lip.
Holy God! ... Had he really said what he just said? He hadn't even said 'I love you' yet, but he had said her what he just said? How many interpretations could be given to those words, except the one coming to her mind?
"Er... so ... aren't you for safe sex, Dr. House?" She said, smiling maliciously, deliberately leaving that conversation on a very light level.
"I'm a specialist in infectious diseases, Cuddy" he replied looking at her straight in the eyes, once again not directly answering her question.
Does it mean that he used to have safe sex...but he didn't want to have it that way with her?
He looked into her eyes as she analyzed those words without looking away from his eyes, and he couldn't help but not running his tongue on his lips as a smile appeared on those same lips.
"You can't give up, Cuddy..." he said, raising both eyebrows with a very mischievous look "... if you haven't tried some best-quality raw material first" he said sucking her bottom lip.
Cuddy couldn't help but letting out another laugh.
"Raw material?" She repeated, laughing, looking at him in the eye "Er... yours?" She asked still smiling, with a challenging look.
"Wanna bet?" He replied with the same look, sucking her lip more.
Cuddy laughed again, shaking her head slightly.
"You're not serious," she laughed, closing her eyes to the shiver that ran down to her belly to the feeling of his mouth on hers "and... I don't know if winning this kind of bet is a good thing for you" she added, looking at him again.
"Maybe, it is, Cuddy" He replied holding her gaze and stressing that it is...
Was he serious? Was he really serious? Had he really just told her that he wanted to have a child with her? He might not have told her that 'I love you' yet, but... God! ... what he had just said was an 'I love you' screamed on top of his lungs.
House watched as she bit her lip.
"Well... when you decide to give up the only 100% effective contraception" he said, smiling and biting her lip, taking back the conversation to a lighter level.
None had said her such a thing. Never. In none of her relationships she had never been even remotely close to that. How could she be listening to those words now? And...by House?
She had thought about having a baby from him... she was going to ask him that evening in his office... but ... having a baby with him... it was completely different...
And he was completely different. Completely different but yet the same. Only House could tell her that he wanted a baby with her without ever using the word baby. Only House could tell her 'I love you' without using the words 'I love you'. With him it was like playing an endless Taboo.
She smiled, touching his lips in turn, stroking the hair on his nape.
The last thing she wanted was that being just a game... A couple of months ago she would have thought that was just one of his many ways to have sex with her. Not now. But... it was too early. She wanted to let herself go to irrationality. She wanted to let herself go in his arms. She wanted to let herself go, and at the same time she didn't... because it seemed so real... and yet so unreal...
Her eyes got lost in his. It was too early. Too early for that question. Too early for that answer. She touched his lips again and found his mouth more, letting those words hanging and getting lost in that kiss. Slow and deep... like what was between them.
Note:
* Actually "mahal kita" means "I love you" ;)