"Inconclusive? What's that supposed to mean?" Tim began to rant in frustration, "Sounds like the doctors are incompetent to me, it's either cancer or it's not."

"Dad, it's not a simple as that, as I already told -" Lou tried to reply.

"They don't know their ass from their elbows." Tim accused, interrupting. "I am coming with you. I will get this sorted, don't you worry about a thing Lou." Tim announced in his self-assured manner.

"No, Dad just stop right there. You are not coming with me to kick up a fuss. I'd have no doctors left. I'm fine on my own" Lou said trying to remain in control of the quickly escalating situation.

"But you'll take him" Tim gestured towards Caleb, "He's as useful as a trap-door in a canoe"

"What?" Caleb asked because he'd automatically switched off when Tim started up.

"As I said, nothing under his hat but hair" Tim stated having made his point.

"I don't have time for this" Lou said getting visibly agitated. "Let's go Caleb"

Once they were on the now very familiar route to hospital, Lou had time to get lost in her thoughts. She couldn't let go of her dad's words. As usual he had some sort of dig towards Caleb, who thankfully rarely reacted anymore. It's not that she believed her dad thought those things, as she knew deep down Tim did have a soft spot for his fellow cowboy. She was annoyed that his insults were in fact directed at her. It was Tim's way of saying he knew something was going on and Caleb wasn't good enough for his daughter. It was as though he thought by highlighting what he felt were Caleb's faults, she would find him less appealing and drive a wedge between them. Tim's words had the opposite effect than he intended because every time he would make a remark about Caleb, Lou would find herself internally defending him much more fiercely than she vocalized. Not that she would ever remain silent, she would cut him off or distract him from his tirades. In her mind, though, it would be a whole other story. She would be refuting his remarks with examples of why Caleb was more than anyone ever had the pleasure to witness. The man he was for her, her Caleb.

Lou couldn't imagine anyone else being so attentive to her needs as he was. Some nights she would find herself waking in the early hours from a restless sleep and send Caleb a text. No matter the hour he would respond, he always kept the volume up so that it would wake him up should she need him. Lou couldn't imagine many guys or even her family members being too happy about her texting them through the night for a heart to heart. Caleb however was always ready to listen and should she just need a distraction he would tell her stories from the rodeo circuit. If her dad thought Caleb wasn't very clever, he should hear about some of the shenanigans his friends got into. Lou loved Caleb's ability to just enjoy life no matter what, not taking himself too seriously. It certainly wasn't something she would want to change about him or be turned off by as Tim had hoped. It was entirely what she needed right now. Caleb was what she wanted.

Arriving at the hospital, Lou was pleased she had avoided thinking about what lay ahead. She had been for her second biopsy two weeks ago, just as the doctor had explained at her last results consultation. It had been uneventful and more like a burden. The wait was becoming unbearable. It was now more than a couple of months since she had initially found the lump and still had no answers. Lou really needed the doctors to have the confirmation today.

She was prepared this time for the waiting room, knowing how horribly hot it was. This time she left her jacket in the truck and headed straight for the seating nearest the windows. With a little bit of luck, one was open and she could feel a slight breeze coming in. The cool air reminded her that it wasn't all some bad dream but she really was in the room again. Awaiting her fate once more.

Lou and Caleb soon found themselves in another examination room. Although it was a different one from her last results, it looked the same. Same clinical feel, stark and unwelcoming. In these rooms, it was much more difficult for Lou to maintain her resolve. It made everything hit her at once, the overwhelming thoughts on her family. It made it hard to concentrate on what the consultant was saying when he came in. She recognized him right away as the one who gave her the results the previous time, or lack of results rather.

The consultant face was filled with sympathy, which sent a sense of panic through Lou. Though she just wanted the confirmation of cancer to enable her to get treatment faster, she suddenly was afraid that was what he was going to say. Lou was now cursing herself for ever having thought having the diagnosis would somehow solve her limbo. This was not what she wanted at all. She needed an all clear. Not a consultant preparing himself to give bad news.

"I'm sorry Lou" The consultant said with regret.

Though the he didn't pause for long, the time passed more slowly for Lou as she had a split-second image of her heartbroken children losing their mum in her mind.

"But the results are inconclusive again" He continued.

Lou's mind was spinning, inconclusive? Again? She was so sure he was about to deliver the devastating news that no-one ever wants to receive. Was this some sort of cruel joke? She wondered. Sure, she felt relief but by no means was this going to be over today. Her mind was reeling.

"I would like to do a wide local excisional biopsy. This means removing the entire lump, with a margin of surrounding unaffected tissue and having that examined." The consultant explained as simply as he could. "I could do another biopsy with a wider needle that would take more tissue sample with it, though I feel that will give the same inconclusive results. I don't want you to keep going through this with Christmas being so close."

Lou nodded, accepting whatever he had to say as she tried to take it in. She barely remembered going back to the truck or much of the drive home. She was lost in a numb trance as her mind felt the impact of the emotional torture once more.