It was the night before Lou's operation and she was just getting settled into her room at the hospital. She had been relieved to discover she would have a room to herself and not on the ward with other patients. It was nerve-racking enough without having other eyes on her, or worse – nosey people asking questions. She was aware how much she would stand out, being deemed "too young for cancer", so her potential ward mates would be distinctly older and naturally curious. Which if she were honest, she would be too in their shoes. Lou had to admit, she did like to know everything. That was however the reason she was so anxious, she wasn't used to not knowing things. Not knowing what would happen during the operation or after was driving her crazy, not to mention the results they would draw from analyzing the lump once it was removed. They had to get some conclusive results when it would be quite literally in their hands, wouldn't they? Lou questioned.
Lou's grandpa had been the one to drop her off this time, though usually Caleb would bring her, Jack had asked if he could this time. She could sense he was feeling helpless about his granddaughter going into hospital and the risks involved, as there are with any operation, even a routine one such as this. It was reassuring to Lou to have Jack there because he had always been a father figure to her, though she had her actual father back in her life now as an adult he wasn't exactly the nurturing type. He loved her in his own way yes but she needed the human touch right now and one of her grandpa's hugs before he left was just what she needed. Jack hadn't stayed long, not wishing to linger, or feel awkward. That also suited Lou once she was in her hospital room as the seriousness of the situation had finally dawned on her and she didn't want the extra burden of considering someone else's feelings at that moment in time. She knew it was somewhat selfish but she needed to focus on the task at hand and be in the right frame of mind. It would be impossible to do while worrying about those around her, Lou needed to put her blinkers on and just look ahead.
It was strange spending the night away from the girls here. She wanted to tuck Katie into bed and read her story, knowing Lisa would do that tonight made it easier. Of course, Georgie was old enough to take care of herself but that didn't make Lou miss trying to mother her. Lou could just picture Georgie rolling her eyes as she would say "I'm not a little girl" and moaning about whatever Lou was trying to take control of. The hospital was just too quiet. The nurses popped in every so often to take her blood pressure and heart rate but it wasn't the same as the hustle and bustle of the house with various family members trampling in and out. So, she did what usually did when she felt lonely, sent a text to Caleb. She continued replying him until she fell asleep with her phone in her hand.
The nurse woke Lou early and explained she could have some light breakfast, such as toast but nothing after 6am.
"Your operation is scheduled for lunch time" The nurse told Lou. "You can have clear liquids until around 10am though" she added.
Lou graciously accepted some toast because she was starving and knew it would feel like a very long time until lunch in here with nothing to do and being unable to boredom eat on top of that. While she ate, she wondered what would be happening back at the ranch without her. She knew her grandpa would be outside somewhere doing something he should probably hire someone half his age to do. Though with that in mind, Jack did have Caleb around to help him now the winter months were here. Lisa would most likely be organizing the kitchen ready for the onslaught of hungry mouths. She really had been a God send to their family, she certainly made things much less stressful for Lou now she had all this on her already full plate. Lou had dozed off while thinking about her family and the normal things that they do daily and missing them even more.
The nurse from breakfast returned to wake Lou again. Giving her a hospital gown to wear ready for surgery. Once Lou was undressed and covered in the thin gown, she felt very vulnerable. As if her clothing was somehow a part of her armor. She no longer felt ready for what was about to happen. What if she didn't awake from the Anesthesia? The thought of her family losing her, especially so close to Christmas, terrified her. She could feel her heart begin to race just as the nurse followed by two other members of staff entered the room. They were here to wheel her bed down to surgery. There was going to be no time to calm down now, Lou realized.
She wasn't sure where she was anymore when the bed stopped and they put the brakes on. The nurse informed her someone would be along shortly and closed a curtain around her after they all left. She was alone in a very strange place. There was an empty bed right next to hear and she couldn't hear any noises at all, it was very eerie. When she finally heard some footsteps, she was unsure if that was a comfort or something she should be more worried about. It was another nurse, who introduced themselves as they came through the curtain. They had paperwork to do, questions pre-operation including a permission slip to sign, to say that she agreed to having the surgery. The fact she needed to sign a waiver did not install Lou with confidence. Sensing her fear the nurse attempted to distract Lou by asking her about her children and their plans for Christmas. As she began talking about Georgie and Katie she let go of some of her pent-up fears and relaxed a little. Thinking of how excited they were for the holidays.
Another nurse appeared saying it was time and soon she was trundling along the corridor to a very small room. There was barely any space around her bed to move. In the room was two more members of the hospital staff who introduced themselves. They would be administering the anesthesia and the head anesthesiologist explained they would be monitoring her throughout incase she needed a top-up, so not to worry about waking up in the middle. Lou however was more worried about not waking up, though she didn't voice her concern. They connected a cannula to her hand, a now very standard procedure for Lou, so she never thought much about it. They explained about putting the anesthesia in and kept talking to Lou as she began to feel very drowsy, she could remember seeing the lights on the ceiling as she faded out of consciousness.