6. KATE

After food and an impromptu nap (she wasn't sure how that kept happening, but given her often disturbed nights and bad dreams, she wasn't complaining), they kicked off their shoes and took a walk along the beach, occasionally paddling out a little way into the water. It wasn't warm enough to tempt Kate for swimming, but there was a childish pleasure to be had from sinking her toes into the wet sand and letting the water swirl around her ankles.

Gibbs had quizzed her about the area, and she'd surprised herself with what she knew. Now they'd fallen into another comfortable silence, enjoying the scenery and the shared moment, occasionally brushing shoulders, but not needing to comment on everything they saw.

He grabbed her hand to get her attention and pointed out over the water to seabirds hovering and diving. Kate couldn't help the warm feeling in her belly when he didn't let go, and leaned into his shoulder with a happy smile.

It was nice to share these places with someone else, as they'd been shared with her, to realise that on some level she now belonged here, felt at home. And it was particularly nice to share them with him, if she was being truthful.

The afternoon was wearing on more quickly than she liked. They'd arranged to meet her team and a few other friends for dinner, and though she was looking forward to properly introducing them to Gibbs and him to them, it also seemed like one day had already slipped by so fast. Part of her would be so happy to just stay home and order another pizza, and not have to share his visit with anyone else.

They started back down the beach towards where they'd picnicked. At least they could stay a while longer and still have time to freshen up and get to the restaurant promptly.

She didn't realise she had let out a huge sigh until Gibbs looked at her curiously. She shrugged. She had no way to explain properly without potentially putting her foot in her mouth, and since she did that on an alarmingly frequent basis when he was around anyway... she'd rather not attempt it.

"I'm really glad you came to visit." She glanced away for a second. It was true, even if it wasn't the whole truth. "Seriously, the best Christmas present I could've gotten." Peering up at him, she was relieved to note the easy smile - she hadn't managed to embarrass him, or indeed herself.

They walked a few more paces, and then he stopped, turned to look down at her, searching her face.

"Actually, Kate..." He cleared his throat and started to dig in his pocket. "I, uh... well, Mele Kalikimaka, I guess." He held out the small package rather diffidently.

Kate's jaw dropped. He'd gotten her a present? It was so... so unGibbslike of him. She didn't know whether to be shocked or surprised or touched or just plain embarrassed. "Gibbs... I didn't-" She shook her head. "I didn't get you anything, I didn't..."

"Didn't expect you to." He glanced away from her and shrugged a shoulder, as if he was trying to seem casual. It wasn't working. "Saw that, thought of you. Sorry it's late."

She blinked, confused. "Late?"

"Christmas was yesterday."

"Well, then today's Boxing Day, so it's fine." His forehead creased. "Oh, it's a British thing, you see..." She shook her head. "Never mind. I'm turning into Ducky myself, I totally blame Will." There was more to her babbling, though. He seemed almost nervous, and it was catching.

Shaking her head again, she returned her attention to the parcel. Having no idea whatsoever what to expect, she was both impatient and clumsy, fumbling as she peeled back tape and tore at the silver paper. Eventually she got it unwrapped to reveal a small box, a jewellery box by the look of it.

She gaped at it, then turned a startled look on him; he shrugged again, smiled reassuringly, though he still didn't seem entirely comfortable. In fact, he almost seemed embarrassed now, strange as it seemed to even think it about him.

"Uh." He took the torn wrapping paper from her, folded and unfolded it between his fingers a couple of times before shoving it decisively into his pocket. "Don't s'pose you remember what I told you about kintsugi?"

"Of course I do. Mending broken pottery with precious metal, right? Making it more beautiful by mending it."

"Yup." He looked pleased, maybe even a little relieved, too.

Still more curious, but slightly reassured, Kate opened the box. Nestled inside was a tiny blue-green pendant in the shape of a heart. A crack ran across it, splitting the heart into three uneven pieces, and as she lifted it up, she saw the shimmer of silver mending the break.

Running a finger over it, she took a shaky breath as she realised it mimicked the kintsugi Gibbs had told her about, and the significance dawned. Beauty despite brokenness - no, beauty because it had been broken and then carefully, lovingly remade. "Gibbs, I... It's-" She shook her head, blinked away the sudden moisture in her eyes. "Thank you. It's perfect."

"See?" He reached out to touch it, then wiped at a tear that had escaped down her cheek. "Bein' mended can be beautiful."

She closed her hands around the pendant and leaned into him, not willing to trust her voice, and not knowing quite what to say anyway. "Thank you," she whispered finally.

He wrapped an arm around her, tucked her head under his chin, and folded his own hand round hers. Kate knew she was leaking tears onto his shirt, but since they were happy ones, she didn't bother to try and stop them.

Eventually she took a deep breath and ran a hand over her eyes. "Sorry. I keep crying at you. I must look a mess."

Gibbs looked down at her with a half smile and one eyebrow raised, obviously amused, though she wasn't sure about what. He shook his head slightly, as if he wanted to say something but had thought better of it. "Wanna wear it?"

She looked down again at the pendant.

Its swirling colours were like a slice of the ocean, completely appropriate for this island she'd made her new home, and a sentimental part of her liked the idea of wearing something Gibbs had given her, of him leaving something behind with her when he, inevitably, had to go home. It would be a reminder of this day, and of his assurance on his first visit that her brokenness was not something he found ugly, which was even more precious to her than the pendant itself.

She didn't quite trust herself to speak without betraying her feelings, and instead simply nodded, letting him take the box and unwind the silver chain. He leaned closer to fasten it round her neck, fumbling slightly with the delicate catch. Kate felt like she probably should help him, but the feel of his warm fingers against her skin and his breath on the side of her face was something she wasn't ready to relinquish any more quickly than she had to. The moment had turned suddenly, unexpectedly romantic, and she was caught between trying not to read too much into it and simply wanting to enjoy it. Eventually the fastening caught, and he smoothed the chain carefully, shifting the pendant so it hung exactly between her collarbones.

He looked down at her, and with the gentlest touch of his finger under her chin, he lifted her head to catch his gaze. "See? Beautiful."

She could feel herself turning pink at the suspicion he wasn't really talking about the necklace. He was looking at her in a way she recognised from before she had gone missing, and which seemed to peek out more and more often these days. As if she was special, remarkable. Precious. A warmth that was pleasantly disconcerting even on Skype, and in person... in person the effect it had on her was overwhelming. It could almost make her believe she was just as special, just as beautiful and unique and irreplaceable as he made her feel, and she wanted to hold on to him and to that feeling so badly it would be frightening if she trusted him any less.

The kiss from yesterday was on her mind - again. If only she were a little braver... but no. She didn't want to make things any more complicated, Oahu and DC were simply too far apart, and friendship was less confusing. Mostly. She reached up to kiss his cheek instead, and when her lips somehow ended up on his neck, she tried to ignore the low rumble that escaped him.

Just good friends, just good friends. She repeated it to herself like a mantra as she slipped casually back into his embrace, her head against his shoulder and his arms around her waist as if this was completely normal, unremarkable behaviour for them.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Katie."

She closed her eyes, the better to imprint this moment in her mind. The feel and scent of him, the sensation of being held and protected, the unreserved acceptance. She wondered if Gibbs realised how safe he made her feel, how much his kindness meant to her. If she could only figure out a way to tell him without embarrassing them both.

Mantra or no mantra, despite her best efforts, she was slowly falling in love with him. After months of deflection and outright denial, she finally had to admit that, at least to herself. She'd always liked him, despite her better judgement, but 'like' had stopped being an adequate word for how she felt quite some time ago. And it was terrifying.

Not only was he, well, Gibbs, veteran of so many failed relationships, famously incapable of talking about feelings, not to mention that he didn't live on the same landmass as she did, but she didn't even know if she was capable of having a healthy relationship with anyone anymore. It had been so long, she had been through so much, she was so tired.

Even if he did feel something more for her than friendship - and moments like this made her hope he did, no matter how much she tried to counsel herself against it - the prospect of opening up that way was... daunting. Or if she was more brutally honest with herself, it scared the shit out of her.

If she wasn't careful, she was going to cry on him again. She made herself loosen her grip, although she was very happy when he kept an arm around her, and they walked slowly back to the picnic blanket. They sat down again, and there was no pretence this time they would just sit side by side. She happily curled into his embrace, one hand resting on his knee, the other reaching up to interlace her fingers with his where his hand was draped over her shoulder. She was a fool, she knew that. If she had the slightest sense, she would make herself treat him as a friend, just a friend, wouldn't indulge in this dangerously couple-like behaviour, wouldn't get used to him being around, but she couldn't seem to stop herself. She was a junkie, getting her fix while she could, and she'd just have to hope she would figure out a way to cope when he went away.

a/n: Gibbs told Kate about kintsugi in Unexpected