12. GIBBS

Gibbs leaned his butt against the countertop, more than happy for now just to watch.

Even making a cup of coffee, Kate moved with a familiar purpose and assurance that had been a bit lacking the last couple times he saw her. She was settling in here and regaining her confidence. It was heartening, and it made him smile with considerable satisfaction and not a little pride.

He couldn't help noticing how she also had a kind of glow about her this morning. He was wary of taking too much credit for it, but it was hard to ignore the timing, the probability of cause and effect. It was possible the smile dimpling her cheeks and lighting up her eyes had absolutely nothing to do with him, or was only partly to do with his presence, but...

She glanced at him and arched an eyebrow. Impulsively he reached out to pull her close and drop a slow, heartfelt kiss on her mouth.

When he drew away, her eyes took a moment to flutter open. "Mmmm. I could get used to that."

"You'd better. You're stuck with me."

She giggled. "Possessive, aren't we?"

"Believe it." He shrugged a shoulder and grinned, unrepentant. "Been wanting to do that for a reallylong time."

She frowned slightly and studied him, her eyes narrowing, searching his face. Curious.

"Katie, I... I never meant for this to happen so quick, but I hoped... I did want it to happen, eventually." He scoured his mind for the words that would make her understand without putting undue pressure on her.

"Oh." Her cheeks turned slightly pink.

He resisted by a whisker the temptation to blurt out that he was in love with her, that he'd been more than a little in love with her before she'd disappeared and hadn't ever properly gotten over her even when he thought she was dead. He had a suspicion that might be kind of overwhelming, and decided to go for a less potentially terrifying version of the truth instead.

"Since you came back... Didn't wanna waste my second chance."

The searching look turned confused. "Second chance?"

He nodded, shrugged again. "With you. Last time 'round, I didn't... the timing was all screwed up, I didn't wanna mess up the team, but still." He pulled a face. "I should've-"

He trailed off. She was staring at him as if he'd suddenly sprouted horns.

"'Last time'?"

"When you were... working with me. With us."

She looked stunned. "You wanted- you liked-?"

He'd always assumed it was fairly obvious. "You didn't know?"

He didn't need an answer. He could see on her face she was genuinely surprised, struggling to get her head around the idea he'd already wanted her back then, never mind how he'd been carrying a torch for her ever since. She leaned in to wrap one arm tightly around his back.

"When we thought you were dead..." He closed his eyes, shook his head. Kate's fingers stroked away the creases in his brow, and he reminded himself that however real it had seemed, however cleverly Ari had made them think she was gone forever, it had been a lie.

She's alive. She's alive and that bastard's not. He swallowed, tried to ignore the tightness in his throat. It was still painful to remember.

"I missed you, every day." He forced himself to voice it, knowing she needed to hear it, but man, it was hard to put himself back there, hard to put words around the aching memories. "Thought I'd got past that kind of pain. Thought no one else'd ever be close enough, thought I'd protected myself. Then... you were gone."

"Oh. Wow."

She nuzzled into his chest, and he held her tightly, afraid he'd scared her. "That a good wow or a bad wow?"

She laughed softly, and it eased the tension a little. "Um. Good. Bit... overwhelming. But good."

He let out a long, relieved breath. He hadn't completely terrified her; at least that was a good start, even if he was completely clueless how to move on from here. They had so much they really needed to talk about. Telling her about Shannon and Kelly was top of his priorities, but it was the start of a long, long list, and the very idea made him feel old and tired.

All he wanted to do was hold her and never let go. Truth was, he was pretty overwhelmed himself.

He pressed his face into her hair, murmured 'I love you, Katie', so very quiet she didn't have a hope of hearing it, but wanting to say it anyway.

There had already been too many huge revelations in the last twenty fours hours and there were more to come. He was trying desperately not to overload her, not to drop too many bombshells on her before they'd even had breakfast.

His stomach chose that moment to growl in protest, and when Kate's rumbled in response they both laughed, taking the edge off their heightened emotions.

"Okay." He could almost see her giving herself a mental shake, but the way she glanced up at him through her eyelashes was all kinds of pleased. With one more shy little grin, she turned back to the coffee machine.

Gibbs busied himself grabbing bowls and cereal and milk. He was quietly amused at himself for being so domesticated for Kate's benefit for the second morning in a row, still more amused to realise he didn't even mind.

She smiled her thanks when she saw, a touch of pink prettily decorating her dimples, and when she handed him his coffee, he leaned over to kiss her again. When he pulled away, she was blinking dazedly, and he only just managed to resist the urge to smirk.

"Kinda like being able to do that."

Both the dimples and the flush deepened as she grinned up at him.

"Me too."

They sat down and got on with breakfast in comfortable silence. It was nice how today he had the freedom to push a stray lock of hair behind her ear, to squeeze her knee affectionately, to let his gaze linger without worrying he was going to freak her out. It made her blush, but the pleased smile that came with the blush when she caught him looking said she was flattered, even a little surprised still.

He wondered how much time and how many repetitions it would take for her to really get her head round the fact he truly cared, regardless of all the baggage and the world of hurt still haunting her. That he planned to be there for her for as long as she'd have him, no matter what. How long it would take for him to say the words out loud, and how long it would be until she could accept them without reservation.

Maybe as long as it'll take me to get used to the fact she likes me back, he thought with a wry smile. He wasn't exactly the poster child for being well-adjusted and capable of allowing others in, after all.

He chuckled. If there was one thing he was certain of, it was that he was gonna give it his best shot. Maybe they could learn together.