Pride Vs. Desire
By:: Melissa

Italics – Notes/Letters

Disclaimer:: I don't own any of this except for the storyline. Everything else belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki, creator of Rurouni Kenshin. Constructive criticism is welcome. No flames please.

Chapter 5

"Kenshin, what do I do?" Sanosuke was sitting, staring at his two friends.

The news that Megumi was kidnapped had sent him into a frenzy turmoil. He's never felt this way before. Like everything was out of his control. And he didn't like it. Not one bit. He likes being in control of every situation. Being the dominant one in every fight, every encounter. This event had set his entire reality into a chaotic whirlwind of dizzying proportions.

"Sanosuke, you know what you have to do. But the question is, do you want to do it?" Kenshin looked at his friend seriously, no hint of vagueness in his voice.

Sanosuke stared off into the shadows of the darkened house. It was ominous. It was lurking. It just didn't feel right. Like something was off.

Kenshin sighed, a thinking thought shining in his eyes.

"I guess my real question is, will you let your pride as a fighter keep you in the way of saving the one woman you love?" Sanosuke cringed as Kenshin brought his one fear out of his mind and said it.

Yes, Sanosuke had his pride. His pride as a strong fighter. He'd never back down from a fight. Or show mercy because of a weaker opponent. He never gave up his pride for anyone. No one. By going and saving Megumi told the kidnapper that he was weak. He was weak because he couldn't stop this from happening. Weak because he couldn't trick fate. Weak because of his inadequacies. But beyond just admitting to the kidnapper of his loss of pride was admitting it to himself. Admitting that his pride was gone was a blow to his ego. A blow to his dignity.

Maybe he was in denial. Maybe he was willing to give up his pride for Megumi. But wasn't his pride already gone when Kenshin beat him? Wasn't his pride out the window when a patriot beat him, Zanza? Was his pride really worth it? Was his pride worth risking Megumi's life? Was pride going to stop him from saving her? He didn't know. What did he want more, his pride or his desire?

Kenshin's soft voice broke Sanosuke's reverie.

"Kaoru, please, it's getting late, why don't you go to bed?" Kenshin looked at his wife tenderly, trying to coax her from the cold silence. But Kaoru crossed her arms and stared defiantly at her husband.

"No way. I'm staying here. Megumi convinced me to come after you when you went off to Kyoto. I'm not about to let Sanosuke just leave her when she needs him the most." Kaoru glared at Sanosuke, as if she was saying that this was all Sanosuke's fault.

Several hours of silence passed, the dark sky turning light again as dawn broke. Sanosuke was still staring out of the window, trying to collect his thoughts. Kenshin stared fixedly on Sanosuke, waiting for him to give him an answer to his question. Kaoru yawned loudly, the effects of staying up all night starting to wear on her.

Suddenly, Sanosuke stood up, stock still, still staring outside. He had seen something. He went to the window and pulled out a piece of paper from the window sill. It was jammed in between the wall and the wood sill, as if someone was keeping the paper there for hiding. He opened it, instantly recognizing Megumi's handwriting.

This shouldn't have happened to me. I'm suppose to be strong. I'm not suppose to fall in love. I can't fall in love. Not me. Not Megumi. Not the vixen. I can't. But I can't deny this overwhelming feeling. I won't admit it. Ever. I'll take it with me to the grave. I won't let this get in the way of my pride as an independent and strong woman. I'm self-reliant. I can take care of myself. I don't need some man to make me happy. I can be happy on my own. But….that doesn't mean I don't want to be with him. I can't deny that. If I did, it'd just be a lie. A stupid naïve lie. I love him. I can't deny it. But I won't admit it. And I wonder, if Sanosuke loves me too.

Sanosuke's hand was shaking. He couldn't believe it. He just couldn't. Megumi? In love with him? He realized suddenly that Kenshin and Kaoru were staring at him strangely. He tried to control his shaking body as he turned to them, the note still clutched in his hand.

"I've decided. I'm going after her. I'm going to save her. To hell with my pride. She means more to me than that." With that, Sanosuke picked up his coat and turned to Kaoru. He only saw Kenshin there with him, Kaoru having left. Sanosuke looked questioningly at Kenshin.

"She went to get us food for the journey," Kenshin said, matter of factly.

"Wait, did you just say, 'us?'" Sanosuke stared perplexedly at Kenshin. Kenshin's face broke into a small smile.

"Megumi-dono has saved this ones life as well. This one cannot forget that. This one will accompany you, as reinforcement." Kenshin turned to his wife who had just entered the room with two knapsacks containing food. Sanosuke took his and gave Kaoru a look of thanks.

"Just go. Go and bring back that fox." Kaoru smiled and pushed both men toward the door. Stopping just before it, Sanosuke turned back to Kaoru and smiled as well.

"Thanks. For everything. For this. For making me realize what's more important to me." With that, Sanosuke and Kenshin both left the house. Kaoru stood in the doorway, watching her husband and her friend leave through the gates.

"It's all up to the heart now." Kaoru, still smiling, shut the door and went into the back to get a long awaited sleep.

"Sanosuke, this is your battle. This one will not get involved unless necessary. Are you sure of your choice?" Kenshin didn't know what Sanosuke read on the note left in the sill but something about it obviously changed his mind. And Kenshin didn't know if that note alone would sustain Sanosuke's thoughts for the entire trip.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Let's go and save that vixen, shall we?" Sanosuke chuckled to himself, the note still clutched in his hand in his pant pocket. A smile crept onto his lips, thinking about the future, about Megumi, and about the impending ordeal ahead of them, not realizing just how deep they're getting themselves into.

To Be Continued…..

A little short for a chapter but i wanted to get this up before my idea went away...I hope you enjoy this...if it seems OOC at all, please tell me and i will see about getting it revised as soon as possible so that it isn't OOC. Hopefully this is still giving all of you a little bit of suspense...dun dun dun...anyways, please review! thanks! 3