A/N: This chapter has not been beta'd. Please inform me of any major errors.

Most Evil Plan
Chapter 17
We are…

Severus continued to glare at the parent/teacher rules. He had spent most of the weekend learning them as Albus suggested, or rather, trying to learn a way around them.

The only joy he could have taken from this assignment, namely tormenting Potter, was slowly being taken away. It had been bad enough that the Dark Lord expected him to get to know Potter and eventually befriend the boy, showing that he cared and treating him as a son. He had hoped that in the early days of the plan, he would be able to store up enough memories of him torturing Potter (figuratively, of course), that he would be able to survive the next few months.

But now, with these stupid rules, he couldn't punish Potter unfairly. Not as a parent or a Professor.

"I never should have admitted the boy into my class," Snape muttered as he threw down the rules in disgust, only to be interrupted by a knock on the door.

Standing up and striding over to the door, Severus partly wished it was Potter, only so that he could deduct points off for the boy being out after curfew.

"Oh, it's you," he greeted his coworker as he ushered the transfiguration professor inside.

"Were you expecting someone else," McGonagall inquired, "Your son perhaps?"

Turning around and walking to the other side of the room, Severus occupied himself by pouring a drink and quickly taking a sip. He knew that he had to do something to keep himself from denying Potter was his son.

"Your son just informed me that he will not be changing his name to Snape at this time."

Inwardly Severus gave a sigh of relief, as he took another sip from his glass. Even though the Dark Lord ordered him to get Potter to change his name, this was one task that Snape did not want to succeed at.

"He also informed me that he had not discussed the subject with you, despite my advice."

"He's Potter," Severus snapped, realizing that his glass was empty. "Did you really expect him to follow anyone's advice? He does what he wants. Always has and probably always will," Severus continued as he poured himself another drink.

"Severus," Minerva scolded, "First of all, he's a Snape, not a Potter, as you good and well now know. Second of all, he's your son."

"Not my choice," Severus mumbled around the rim of his glass.

"No wonder why he didn't want to change his name," McGonagall interrupted. "Now, I expect you to put the past behind you. Your years at Hogwart's with James Potter and Sirius Black, as well as Harry's past five years here, and get to know your son. He's a wonderful boy if you would only look past the surface-"

"Are you calling me shallow?" Severus asked as he turned to face the deputy headmistress.

"No," she answered firmly, "But your actions have been cruel and petty." Holding up a hand, Minerva silenced Severus, "I know you had to keep up appearances, but Merlin, you've gone too far at times. I'm surprised You-Know-Who and the other Death Eaters don't suspect you because of what Albus allows you to get away with. House prejudice is one thing; I could even understand persecuting Harry as The-Boy-Who-Lived," she reluctantly admitted, "But you've gone overboard and made things personal by bringing James Potter and Sirius Black into it. And don't even get me started on Longbottom," she warned, glaring at Severus.

"You say that your son doesn't take advice, well let's see if you are as different from him as you like to believe. I advise you to get to know your son. Really get to know him, build a relationship with him."

Severus just looked at his former professor and lifted an eyebrow as if to inquire, 'Are you done?'.

"I mean it, Severus," Minerva cautioned. "Don't make me get Albus and the Ministry involved in this."

Snape stared at her in shock. That last remark was positively Slytherin of her. Normally it would be bad enough to tattle to the headmaster, of course in this conversation it would be useless, since Albus was well aware of the situation, but to threaten to involve the Ministry and Fudge? Severus never realized that Gryffindor's could be so cruel.

"Potter," Snape called as the sixth year NEWT potion students started to exit his classroom, "Remain for a moment."

"Yes, sir," Harry replied before whispering to Hermione that he would meet her in the Great Hall for lunch.

Severus straightened the papers on his desk while the remainder of the class left the dungeons. After a few minutes had passed he turned his attention to an impatient Harry Potter.

"Due to the recent," Snape paused and curled his lip in disgust, "revelation, I suppose it is only fitting that we become better acquainted."

Harry just stared at his professor in shock.

"Why?" He finally asked.

"We are family," Snape countered.

"No, sir," Harry replied indignantly, "we might be related, but we are not family!"

"It is the same thing," Severus mumbled, in an effort to control his temper and to curb his instincts from deducting points from Gryffindor.

"No, sir, it's not," Harry responded.

"It doesn't matter," Snape replied, thinking of ways that a father could punish a son. "Whether you refer to us as family or relatives, the point is that thanks to the headmaster's announcement, the entire school is aware of this fact. It will only be a matter of time before the rest of the wizarding world is informed of such things. Therefore, I believe it is beneficial for the two of us to become better acquainted."

"Beneficial for who?" Harry asked doubtfully.

"Whom," Snape corrected.

"Same thing," Harry mumbled, echoing Snape's earlier sentiment.

"No, it is not. One is grammatically correct and one is not," Severus replied. "And I think it would be beneficial for both of us. Once this information becomes known to the public and the ministry, decisions will have to be made."

"Well, when you learn the difference between family and related, I'll learn the difference between who and whom," Harry negotiated. "And I've already made my decision, and I'm sure it would have been the same as yours, if it wasn't for Dumbledore. You don't want to have me for a son, fine! I don't want to have you for a father. Decision made. Now if there's nothing else, I would like to join my friends and family for lunch."

Deciding that he had had enough, Harry turned and headed towards the exit, not caring if Snape deducted points from Gryffindor. He just hoped his housemates would understand.

"Potter, it's not that simple," Snape answered, ignoring most of what his son said. If Potter was to leave the dungeons unscathed, that seemed to be the wisest course of action. "Some of the decisions have already been taking out of our hands. Now, we can either attempt to get along civilly on our own, or we could wait until the ministry decides to interfere and help us build a relationship," Severus snarled the last word.

At Snape's words, Harry froze. "What do you mean 'help us build a relationship?" Harry asked, "This has nothing to do with the ministry. This is my life!"

"Yes," Severus agreed with a snarl. "The life of their precious savior, their chosen one, do you really think that they wouldn't be concerned about this tidbit of information? Until now, it was believed that you did not have any living relatives in the wizarding world. I may not be anyone's ideal figure of a father, but most of the wizarding population would rather have you in the home of a witch or wizard than with muggles."

"Home?" Harry asked, turning pale. "I thought you said 'get better acquainted', not LIVE together?

"Besides you were a Death Eater! Why would they let their savior of the light live with someone who served Voldemort!"

"You are correct," Snape answered with a slight grin. "I was a Death Eater. With Professor Dumbledore's testimony, the charges were dropped. Likewise, if he believes it is in your best interest to live with me, who would disagree with him?"

"Hah!" Harry said confidently, believing that he was safe from the possibility of living with his newly discovered father. "Dumbledore wouldn't believe it was in my best interest. I have to live with my aunt because of the-"

"Blood protection," Snape completed with Harry. "Yes, it has served you well these last fifteen years, however, with the blood of a living wizard in the same house, more secure measures could be taken."

"But I don't want to live with you!" Harry shouted, sounding much like a five year old whining about a broken toy.

"Nor I you," Snape sneered.

"Then why…" Harry's voice trailed off as the confusion began to show on his face.

"If we convince the ministry that we are attempting to establish a relationship, they might agree to let us do so in our own way, in our own time. Otherwise…"

"Otherwise what?" Harry asked, not sure if he wanted to know.

"Otherwise, they might assign a caseworker to help us."

A caseworker, Harry thought, that doesn't sound too bad. Besides, the caseworker might realize that Snape had no business raising a child, even a nearly-grown teenager.

"Oh, yes," Snape continued, drawing Harry out of his thoughts. "Our caseworker would probably insist on you moving in with me immediately. Of course, since it is the school year, you would have to leave Gryffindor Tower and your housemates, but I'm sure you will be able to join them for most of your meals. You might even be able to spend some time with your friends in the common room, as long as it didn't interfere with our counseling sessions."

"Counseling sessions?" Harry echoed painfully.

"Yes, of course," Snape continued as if Harry had asked an intelligent question. "The sessions would probably be pretty basic at first. They'll want to learn about our backgrounds, our likes and dislikes. From there they'll try to discover what interest we might share, things that would place us in a different setting other than professor and student. After a period of time, they will most likely ask us to start talking about our feelings, our hopes, dreams, and disappointments. The ultimate goal of these sessions is for us to establish a father-son bond."

Bond? Harry questioned silently. That wasn't going to happen, at least not if he could help it. He couldn't imagine anything worse than living with Snape during the school year-that would put him in Slytherin territory. Wait, Harry suddenly thought, realizing that something was worse, or at least just as bad, therapy sessions with Snape.

"And how is that different than your suggestion that we get 'better acquainted?"

"First of all, we would be doing it on our terms, not the ministry's. Second, it will just be the two of us, nobody else would be present."

Harry wasn't sure if the second one really was a benefit. His doubt must have shown on his face since Snape continued, "Unless of course, you want to have someone else present while you share your pampered existence with them. I know how much you crave the attention."

At the shake of Harry's head, Snape concluded, "Plus, if the ministry believes that we have an established relationship, and that you would be able to come to me with any problems or questions you might have, it is possible that they will allow us to live our lives the way we want."

Now that sounded good, Harry thought. Of course, he still had to find out exactly what 'getting acquainted' meant.

"What exactly would we have to do?"

"The occasional meal together, preferable lunch or dinner a few times a week," Severus began.

"Agreed," Harry stated, pausing to check to the time. "Do you think you could get one of the house elves to bring us some sandwiches and that this could count as one of those times? Lunch is almost halfway through and I have a feeling that this might take awhile."

The potion master gave a wave of his wand and sandwiches and glasses of pumpkin juice appeared on his desk. Taking a sandwich and a drink, Snape indicated that Harry should do the same, before he continued with what else would be required of the two of them.

"You would, of course, have to treat me more respectfully-"

"If you do the same to me," Harry interrupted. "No more deducting points from Gryffindor simply because I was breathing. You also have to be nicer to my friends and the other Gryffindors."

"I think not," Severus began.

"Fine," Harry agreed, "Not nicer, but definitely more civil. At least try to treat them more fairly. After all, how can you expect me to be able to convince the ministry that we are bonding if you are constantly insulting my house and classmates?

"And, as you already mentioned, the entire school knows about our relationship, anyway. I'm sure most of them don't really expect you to change your attitude towards me or the other houses. Just think of how confused everyone will be if you did start treating them differently," Harry said with a slight grin.

"Is that all?" Severus asked sarcastically, taking another bite of his sandwich.

"Well, since you asked," Harry grinned widened as he continued, "How can you really expect me or anyone else to treat you with respect when you so blatantly favor the Slytherins? Actually, it's not the fact that you favor them that bothers us, other than the fact that we wished McGonagall favored us. It's more of the fact that you treat everyone else so horribly. You act like you despise us. And most of us now figure that that can't be true, since my mum was a Gryffindor."

As Snape listened to Potter ramble on he discreetly raised an eyebrow. Maybe the sorting hat knew what it was doing after all. Part of that sounded suspiciously Slytherin-like. Of course, not as refined as most sixth year Slytherins, excepting Crabbe and Goyle, naturally, but still, definitely resembled his serpents.

"Sir?" Harry asked tentatively, when his professor didn't respond to his latest comment. "So, what do you think?"

"I'll take it under advisement," Severus answered once he was pulled out of his thoughts. Since he didn't hear the end of Potter's ramblings, hopefully, either Potter wouldn't bring it up again or if he did, he would readdress the issue.

"Um, okay," Harry stated, since that was more than he had expected. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. "Sir? Before I go can I ask you a question?"

"May I ask a question," Severus corrected.

"Ah, sure," Harry responded before repeating the correct wording when Snape sat silently watching him.

"Yes, you may," Snape answered. If nothing else, Potter would learn correct grammar in the coming months, he thought.

"Um, well, a few minutes ago I mentioned how my mum was a Gryffindor and how it obviously meant that you didn't really hate them, but then I started thinking…I mean, you were a Death Eater, and well, I guess I just wanted to know what happened between you and my mum," Harry finished awkwardly, half expecting Snape to throw him out the door for daring to ask such a personal question.

END CHAPTER 17

What will Snape tell Harry? What should Snape tell Harry?

5/31/06