Three long days elapsed; the days and nights of stifling breathless tenterhooks...An excruciating pang melding with a tinge of annoyance along with huffishness throbbed inside Niyati and getting burgeoned mercilessly as the moments were passing by...She tried in every possible way to get rid off that uncomfortable stabbing pain at the very centre of her bosom and her efforts included her staying every possible moments with her grandmother with a fretful apprehension that whenever she would get alone,her mind would revolve around the thought of that careless stoical man and her heart would compelled her to spew out her inexplicable pain...but...she even was scared to shed tears as it wasn't indiscernible that her old grandmother who had very recently turned jocose and humorous, would suspect her by her beady eyes...
Though she blubbered once while the tap water running with force during taking bath but came out with a semblance of a stout woman who wouldn't ever be touched by any silly mawkishness..But within herself she had been getting wounded with only one thought that how long she would indulge herself in self deceiving? How long she would wear the veneer of a person who hadn't been affected by his charismatic magnetism? She had been irrevocably fallen for him and ...that was such a truth which seemed immutable at that very moment..
Sprawling herself on the couch as languidly as possible she had fixed her eyes on the TV screen where a ghazal programme was running..The tattered pieces of the conversation between the host and the singer,though was reaching at her ears but inconceivably as she was absorbed with the thought of someone who not only had have the fascination of listening Ghazals but also had the talent to croon it melodiously... Though he shied away from flaunting his talents but she had once the opportunity to listen to a fragment of his croon when he in an official picnic tour,had been singing a ghazal,considering himself alone in a sequestered palm grove...
Mili hawayon me udne ki woh saza yaroooo
Mili hawayon me udne ki woh saza yarooo
Ke main zameen ke rishto se kat gaya yaaroooo
A cold wave of agony seized her chest recalling that tune and something stabbed her eyes smartingly...She put every effort to convert her pain into anger and as an effect her teeth were gritted and jaws bobbed up & down and she tossed away the teddy forcefully in a corner of the room that she clung to tightly...
The old lady though was astounded but at the same time an inconceivable fear attacked her,:'kya huya Nini? teddy ko kyu pheka?'
:'kuchh nahi...'a terse reply came from Niyati in thick voice...
The old lady was sage enough not to plagued her granddaughter with more questions as she perceived Niyati's annoyance by the thickness of her voice though it was dark to her still now why she turned so much petulant in between such a nice programme.
A ghazal started at the right moment perhaps to mitigate the tensed silence of the room...
Dhoop me niklo...ghatao me..nahakar dekho...
zindegi kya hai...kitaabo ko hathakar dekho...
The book Niyati just had picked up carelessly, fell from her hand with a thud making the old lady dubious...She glanced at her grand daughter with squinted eyes and noticed her hurried movements for screening the bafflement over her face...She kept looking at her Nani archly until the song dominated the situation...
woh sitara hai chamak ne do yuhi akho me
kya zaroori hai use jism banakar dekho...
Amazement siphoned the blood from her face as every tinge of the song, whether it was words or tune...as if impelled her to sink deep into his thought...It was as if a dashing gale taking her forcefully towards the lane where he resided and having lost even the crust of power to fend off she was rushing headlong towards a hazardous consequence..
pattharo me bhi zuba hoti hai dil hote hai
apne ghar ke daro deewar sajakar dekho...
She looked up, disoriented and perplexed...Had he taken umbrage at her silly words she had spoken out of huff? But...hadn't she apologized for her impudence? Hadn't she repented for her cruel and insensitive remarks she made in sheer indiscretion? Had he forgiven her? One couldn't force him to look at the matter leniently...could one? If he wished not to forgive her, then...after all she couldn't bawl at him...It was his wish upon which ...' her thoughts were cudgeled and she ventured to dismiss everything with a smirk ...but within a minute it struck her that the tragedy of the spoken words was that it couldn't be retracted back...
phasla nazro ka dhoka bhi to ho sakta hai
woh mile ya na mile hath badakar dekho...
Her brows creased in surprise...Till then she was in an impassioned state considering that perhaps the man himself was singing the song to elevate her knowledge; to sharpen her dull sensitivity; to knock at the door of her heart by his geniality and unfathomable eloquence...Never once it seemed that it was she who had been connected the song with him...but...what had been happening with her? Had she been turning moron? She had been floated far away from the reality and...A flicker of hope abruptly made her a little animated...Her spirit suddenly started soaring high...Hope for what? Her brain was too bemused and absorbed that for some minute it couldn't analyze anything and when finally it was possible, a faint smile of bashfulness couldn't be restrained back...If the words of this ghazal turned true...then perhaps she would be a changed woman-a woman with much more sensitivity and vigour...but would she get the opportunity? How could she...raise...her hand...towards...him...?
She coiled herself in her desperate effort to conceal the dyed crimson colour of uprushing shyness...
The song ceased but the resonance was there, throbbing deep inside her heart making the flame sky high silently...The restiveness within was beyond human endurance...
The cell phone trilled which had been placed over the table...Daya was calling her grandmother...Her palm trembled with the yearn to receive it but...she managed to whip herself finally, drawling in dejected tone,:'nani...tumhara phone...'
The old lady was astounded and exclaimed,:'mera phone? kis ko pata hai mera number? nahi baba tu hi utha le..mujhe nahi ata hai phone bone karna...'
Niyati's breath had risen as her heart was pounding like insane but she still maintained her indifference,:'Daya tum ko phone kar raha hai...tum hi uthao na...' a little peevishness couldn't be hidden as her voice betrayed her...
:'Daya ka phone?' the old lady was delighted but slowly her beaming smile turned into a comical one and she didn't delay to suggest,:' mujhe nahi ata hai...abhi to tu hi utha le...phir main baat karungi...'
Niyati hastened in pressing the green button even when the words of her grandmother hadn't finished and the old lady's lips curled in amusement; eyes misted with mischief...
:'hello...' she maintained a sham image of indifference...
:'doctor...' Daya approached,a little hesitantly...
:'kya?' huffishness couldn't be restrained...
:'woh...' he still was irresolute, finding out quickly that her mood wasn't favourable...:'nanijee achche hain na?'
:'haa...' her voice bordered to rudeness as she replied laconically
There was complete silence of some seconds, before Daya with a little cough revealed,:'socha tha ...aaj nanijee se ekbar mil lunga...magar...' he paused and maintained silence until Niyati rapped out with an irksome gesture,:'magar what?' venom of anger started flowing inside her and without her knowledge eyes brimmed over with tears...
:'magar...aaj nahi aa paunga...is liye...' penitence was seeping through his voice...
:'ohh...it's fine...no problem Mr Daya...' snapped Niyati,:'we can spend good times without you...' it was sudden when the tears started coursing down her cheeks...:'no problem,' she repeated though this time her voice shook with vehemence of emotion and she pressed the red button quickly and almost slung the cell away at the cushion...
:'kya huya Nini?'the old lady asked though it was as clear as the pellucid water to her that a tumultuous disturbance was tearing her apart and before she could ask anymore, Niyati left the room in haste and closed the door of her room..
The old lady with much struggle dragged herself to her door and banged on it for sometime but relinquished it having been tired and dejected...
Niyati sobbed her heart out clinging to her pillow until her numbed brain awakened suggesting it was nothing more than a tomfoolery of crying like a child for something which ...perhaps...she wouldn't get ever...Her drenched face glistened in the faint light of the dusk..As she tiptoed beside the window, breeze gently fluffed her hair as if consoling her trying to lessen the pain she had been enduring..Perhaps she sunk deep into cogitation if she couldn't listen to a familiar sound-the sound she yearned for...But she decided not to move and fastened herself to the window with thumping heart...