I don't own Resident Evil. I really don't.

-III-

Memories that never were

Wednesday, 11.a.m.

The sun shone through the windows right into Jill's face and woke her up. She felt her head ache terribly and her mouth was pasty. She tried to lick her lips with her dry tongue before looking around. Apparently she had fallen asleep on the couch. On the living room table she still found the glasses and the two bottles she had emptied with Claire the night before. But she didn't quite notice that she was alone in the room until she heard her friend swear in the kitchen. She got up slowly. Her head felt twice its normal size and she could hardly walk. With some effort, she dragged herself to the kitchen and leaned on the counter.

Claire looked as if she didn't feel any better than Jill. But even so, when she saw her friend's face she gave her a huge smile and handed her a glass of something that looked like tomato juice.

"Good morning!" She laughed. "Here, taste this. It's my special anti-hangover drink. Full of vitamins."

Jill took the glass. The red, almost creamy content tasted quite familiar.

"Claire," she asked "is this a Bloody Mary?"

The redhead nodded smiling.

"I think it's not good if the alcohol level in blood sinks too fast. With a tasty Bloody Mary you keep ingesting a little, while you recover forces thanks to the tomato juice."

"Sounds almost logical to me." Jill laughed. "Tell me, what about those scrambled eggs you promised yesterday?"

"I was just opening an egg when the rest of the dozen fell on the floor," she grumbled.

Jill leaned over the bar to see the disaster from a better angle.

"I guess we'll have something different for breakfast," she said and touched the tip of her nose with her index finger as she thought about the possibilities.

"I think the only option is to order pizza," Claire said suddenly. Both laughed.

"Or we can have the bacon alone," suggested Jill "I'm sure dipped in the Bloody Mary it's delicious."

"I think there's still some lasagna left," Claire remembered. "We can dip that as well."

"No lasagna, Claire. We ate the leftovers last night."

Yes, she was starving. But Jill was having a lot of fun joking with Claire. She suddenly noticed that they were still alone.

"Hasn't Chris come back yet?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Claire gave her an ironic smile. "No, he hasn't. But I'm sure if he's not come yet, it's because he is really busy."

Jill didn't doubt that. But she was sorry that Chris had so much work to do. She should have gone back to the BSAA to help him. Suddenly the doorbell rang.

"Oh, that must be him," exclaimed Claire. Jill had already jumped to the door.

"I'll get that," she smiled. She had a quick look through the peephole before opening happily.

"Hey, good morning!" She smiled trying not to make her hangover too obvious.

Chris didn't believe his eyes. What he was seeing in Jill's smiling face was pure joy. And damn, she was so beautiful with her messy hair and that dark bags under her eyes. When he entered the hall he noticed instantly that both Jill and Claire were still wearing the same clothes as the day before and assumed they had fallen asleep watching TV.

"Hi," he said.

"Morning, bro," Claire said, "We were just about to order pizza."

"Excuse me?" He complained smiling "Haven't I taught you that whenever and wherever you are you must have eggs and bacon for breakfast? I totally failed at your education young lady." They laughed.

"I dropped them. I'm sorry," she excused.

"There are some in Jill's suitcase," he said.

"What?" The women looked at each other, then at him.

"I forgot to tell you. I always think that there can't be enough eggs in a household, so I brought some and put them into her luggage."

"Well, that's good news," Claire said heading upstairs where Jill had left her stuff the day before.

Chris and Jill looked at each other and smiled.

"You look amazing," he said.

"You liar! I look awful," she complained, desperately trying to comb her hair with her fingers.

"You look tired, but amazing." He smiled at her. "Has Claire already made you her Bloody Mary?" Claire was coming down and heard the last sentence.

"She loved it!" She said. "Jill thinks it is a good idea, too."

"I haven't said that," the blonde said. "But it's actually quite good."

Claire grinned and slipped into the kitchen.

"You want some, Chris?"

"I'd prefer coffee, eggs and bacon, thanks," he said smiling while he took a seat on one of the stools next to the kitchen counter.

Jill saw him yawn widely. He looked tired as well. Not only tired of staying up all night, but of carrying the huge responsibility of fighting evil over and over again. The small wrinkles around his eyes reminded her that, even for them, time didn't stop. Chris was just thirty-six years old (or was he thirty-seven?), but it seemed like a hundred years had gone by since their past at S.T.A.R.S. She remembered how young they both were when they had met. How easy and fine everything seemed before the incident in the Arklay Mountains. She often imagined how their life would be like if she'd actually told him how much she liked him. What if they had never seen themselves involved in all this? Would they be still close? Or would they even have become a couple? The sheer thought made her smile. She suddenly remembered Rebecca Chambers, who left Raccoon City right after the mansion incident to find a man she'd known and fallen in love with while escaping from an Umbrella Research Center close to the Mansion, the prisoner Billy Coen. Was it really that easy to fall in love with someone you live a traumatic experience with?

Chris noticed her lost look.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "I'm just wondering where Rebecca might be right now."

"I never heard anything about her again," Chris said. "I guess that means she's either dead or happy with that guy."

"You know about that?" Jill asked surprised. She had caught the Rebecca right before running away, and had always assumed to be the only one who knew about the girl's plans.

"It was kind of obvious." He smirked. "She went completely red and smiled like an idiot as she told me about that murderer who had apparently died in the woods. So I assumed she wasn't telling me the whole truth about Coen. I guessed she'd run off with him after the Mansion incident."

"Not exactly," Jill added. "They had actually split up before Rebecca entered the mansion. But after witnessing what happened to Richard and how Wesker betrayed us, she decided to seize the moment and went to find him."

"I didn't know that. I always thought he had been waiting for her," Chris said thoughtfully. "It's kind of romantic, isn't it?"

"Well, either with or without him, if she ran off, it's just because SHE didn't have an older brother who could stop her." Claire remarked as she put a plate with deliciously looking scrambled eggs, bacon and a slice of toast on the counter in front of her brother.

Chris gave her a warm, thankful look. "Claire," he whispered, "if you ever want to run off with the man you love, and he's a good man who won't hurt you, you have my blessings."

Claire laughed. "Are you sick? Come on, eat something."

Chris grinned at her.

"Of course, Neil Fisher is not to be considered a good man," he said with a childish smile on his face.

Jill stared at them. She knew that kind of issues had always been a problem for their relationship. But deep inside both knew that Chris was hoping Claire would find a good man someday, get married and have a lot of little Redfields. But what was he wishing for himself?

"Don't worry. I will find the best brother-in-law for you. But I have to test the candidates carefully." She winked smiling.

"Very funny," Chris said with a sceptic look before turning his attention to his plate again. "This is what I call breakfast. These eggs are delicious, Claire."

"I'll make some more for Jill and myself," Claire said and opened two more eggs.

"You should rest now, Chris," Claire said while removing the dishes. The elder Redfield was rubbing his eyes.

"I guess you're right. I'll go home and sleep a little. I have to get back to work this afternoon."

"You can sleep here if you want," Claire offered. "I checked all the sheets for suspicious stains with a blacklight. They're clean!"

Chris smiled showing a faked expression of relief. "Thank you, but I'll need a shower and a clean shirt too, and I don't want to have to wear that guy's clothes at the BSAA."

"Is there so much work to do? Do you need any help?" Jill asked concernedly.

"You take your time, Jill. Relax and get used to freedom," he said smiling. "I'll be okay." He took her hand and squeezed it gently before taking his keys, kissing Claire on the cheek and leaving. Jill watched his moves with tenderness.

"He'll be okay," Claire pointed out seeing Jill's look. "He's made of steel, iron and highly concentrated stubbornness." She giggled.

"He's the best man I've ever known," Jill whispered.

"You should tell him that someday."

The straw-haired shook her head.

"I don't need to. He already knows that," she said smiling.

Claire stared confused at her new friend. She'd probably never understand their strange relationship.

"However," she said. "What do you want to do today? We could go to the gym, or shopping, or…"

"The graveyard," Jill interrupted. "Last night you said something about my grave. Do you know where it is?"

Claire looked at her surprised.

"You want to see your grave?"

"Yes." She nodded decidedly.

"Chris wouldn't be okay with that," Claire said, "but I understand your wish. I'll take you there, but first we should have a shower. You get into the one on this floor, there are clean towels on the holder."

"Thank you Claire," Jill said quietly. Her friend nodded at her and headed upstairs. "By the way, you won't happen to have checked the bathroom for cameras as well?"

After getting dressed the two women took Claire's car to drive to the graveyard. In this small space of the car, Jill noticed more details both Redfield siblings shared. Claire used the same air freshener as her brother and also her backseat was full of papers. She remembered how Chris had once confessed that it was where he left the undone paperwork. Also the redhead's driving style was very similar to her brother's. A little too aggressive for Jill's taste.

"Goddamn, I don't have all day!" Claire honked several times when the blue Ford didn't move immediately after the traffic light turned green. Jill only shook her head in certain disapproval. Claire looked at her.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you," she apologized. "I just can't stand people who make me waste my time."

"It's okay," Jill laughed. "I guess I don't see this kind of actions like a waste of time anymore."

Claire got aware of how her words may have reminded Jill of the years she lost.

"I'm sorry, Jill," she mumbled. "I wasn't thinking."

"Claire, don't apologize," the blonde said smiling. "You are taking great care of me and I don't want you to act differently in any way."

"Jill, can I ask you something?" Claire asked shyly.

"Ask. I'll just refuse to answer if it's something I don't want to tell you."

"Chris told me you are afraid of any… physical contact…"

"Do you want to know if I've been raped?" Jill said coldly.

Claire shivered.

"No. Actually… Well, if you need to talk about anything, please know that you can always count on me. I'm your friend now," she said. "But what I really want to ask is… Why does this not affect your hands?"

Jill knew immediately what Claire meant. She could shake and even hold hands with anybody, but didn't want that the contact went beyond the wrist in any way. She looked down at her hands.

"I've always seen them as tools, not as a part of my body," she explained. "They are part of my work equipment. They've shot B.O.W.s, opened doors and pushed buttons. Why shouldn't anyone touch a tool?"

Claire forced a smile. She didn't quite agree with her friend. Hands were an extension of the whole body, something to feel with, to offer comfort, to touch and caress someone. Her hands would always hold her warm, feed her, clean her skin and comb her hair. No, she didn't quite understand how Jill could see her hands just as tools. She remembered that she'd once had a similar discussion with Chris, though. They were very similar to each other.

"I see."

Wednesday, 1 p.m.

Claire parked her car right in front of the graveyard.

"Let's see if I find it," she said. "Like Chris, I haven't been here since your funeral."

"You came to my funeral?" asked Jill obviously moved.

"Of course, you were…," she paused, "you ARE important to my brother, so you are important to me." She walked next to Jill. "By the way, don't expect a big, beautiful tombstone with angels on it."

"Oh, trust me, I don't," Jill laughed.

They entered the part of the graveyard the BSAA had reserved for agents who'd died during their missions. It was actually a quite sterile place. All graves had similar greyish tombstones. Someone was taking care of them, but it was obvious that it was only done because it was their job.

They found Jill's grave in the second row. Her empty coffin was buried next to a guy called Richter. Jill stopped in front of the tombstone with her name on it.

"I knew it wouldn't be an overblown stone. But I expected a little more. Not even a note like 'Brave agent who died for peace'," she said disappointed making a grimace and turned around. Claire was standing two steps behind her. "And Chris didn't say anything about that?"

"Chris didn't agree with this theatre," the younger woman said laughing. "As I told you, he had convinced himself you were still alive."

"Why did he come to my funeral, then?"

Claire shrugged her shoulders. She was about to say something when she heard her cell phone ring. She looked at the screen and immediately lifted a finger asking Jill to wait a second.

"It's work," she said and turned away to get the call. "Redfield speaking."

Jill smiled. It was funny how both Redfields answered their phone the same way. She suddenly had a look at Richter's grave and read the inscription. Skye Richter had died in 2007 at the age of thirty-nine or forty. Although it had to be more about three years old, the tombstone looked brand new and it had a beautiful ornament on it. The inscription said 'Beloved husband and father, dedicated soldier. Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed'. This last sentence made Jill shiver. It seemed to be a verse of the bible, but the foot of the inscription had been scratched over and was not readable any more. She wondered if someone had chosen that passage because Richter had been infected.

Someone had placed fresh daisies on his grave, and comparing his tombstone to her own made her feel a little unloved. But then she remembered that, unlike her, he'd probably never get the chance to see the top of his grave. A sensation of power overcame her. She smiled to herself.

"I understand. Has Neil Fisher been informed about this already?" Claire asked with a concerned tone in her voice. "He's what?!"

Jill turned around and stared at her friend. Something seemed to be wrong.

"I'll be there in an hour. Keep trying to find Neil," she commanded into the phone before hanging up. "I'm sorry Jill. I need to get to the office. There's a communication problem with our team in a camp in Colombia, and Neil is missing."

"Missing?" she asked. "That doesn't sound good."

"Not at all," she said. "I'll take you to Chris' apartment and pick you up later when everything is solved."

"I wouldn't like to bother him while he's sleeping. Can't I just come with you?" Jill asked innocently.

Claire doubted a moment.

"Chris wants you to rest. He'll kill me if he finds out that I take you with me to TerraSave."

"As if TerraSave was a battlefield," the blonde laughed and headed to the car. "Come on, don't waste any more time. We have to find your boss."

Sorry, I forgot to say some words.

Now you know why this fic is called Hands and Tools... And it still sucks, I know u.u

Anyway, thank you for reading this. I hope you're enjoying it. If you like it, let me know. If not, let me know anyway. I'd appreciate reviews.

Have a nice week.

Especially Thebigticket21 who always leaves a review. Thank you so much :D You always make my day!