Pepper told him she was done with their relationship. It wasn't that Tony didn't expect that to happen at one point, but certainly he didn't expect it so soon after he gave up his suits for her.
She told him he drank too much and she couldn't watch him end up like her father did, drinking himself into an early grave and ruining the lives of his family in the process.
It definitely stuck with Tony. He asked Jarvis to tell Bruce and Yrsa where each bottle in the tower was and to dispose of them.
The first few weeks were the worst. Withdrawal was a bitch and Tony was ready to kill for it to stop. Yrsa wasn't sure what was going on, but Bruce made sure that Tony stayed healthy through it all. Jorm was mostly confused and just kept on leaving drool on Tony's clothes.
Staying sober all the time took a toll on Tony, especially when Jorm was teething. Nothing could calm the little bastard down and Yrsa was on a brink of despair each time a new tooth would appear. Bruce was the only one who stayed calm through the whole process and man was Tony happy that they had him. Maybe some parents wouldn't be comfortable with the Hulk taking care of their kids, but Yrsa trusted the man just as much as Tony did.
Unsurprisingly, Jorm's first word was 'mom'. Well, 'ma' more actually, but the sentiment was the same. Tony side eyed the kid for the next month, because he thought they agreed that it was supposed to be a version of 'Tony'. Jorm didn't seem to get it, but Tony knew he was just playing dumb.
That's why he spent his days sitting on the carpet, staring straight into Jorm's eyes and pointing at himself.
"Tony."
"Gah."
If that was how Jorm wanted to play, then okay.
Tony took out his phone and looked for this year's Christmas card photo. He ignored the sharp pain that seeing Pepper wrapped in his arms caused him and zoomed in on Yrsa's face before showing it to Jorm.
"Ma!"
"Good, now" Tony pointed at himself. "Tony."
"Gah."
He really wanted to tell the kid to go fuck himself, but well, he was just a few months old.
"No, not 'gah'" Tony sighed, flipping through his pictures to find one of only Yrsa and him. Maybe that would get the kid to do it.
Jorm crawled over to him and sat in his lap.
As it turned out, he didn't have any pictures with Yrsa. The woman didn't like taking pictures, always sighing when Tony made her do it. He decided to find a good picture of himself, if only to print it and plaster all over Jorm's room.
"Da!"
Tony stopped scrolling immediately, for a second worried that Jorm was referring to either him or Bruce, since it was a selfie they took right after New York, sitting in his Acura. But after inspecting the picture closely, he could see Thor gripping Loki's forearm forcefully in the background, the trickster's eyes staring straight into the lens.
He asked Yrsa whether she finally got herself a phone.
"Why would I use it, Tony?" She sighed, taking her clothes out of the dryer. Bruce finally convinced her to wear 'regular human' clothes instead of the whole 'being from another planet' attire. "I don't get out of the tower without one of you with me. If I have to contact anyone, I can just ask Jarvis."
"Do you have any pictures of Loki then?"
"Of course I don't" She turned around, her gaze turning sharp. "We don't have cameras in our world, Tony. We don't need to. Our memory is perfect and we resort to painting or sculpturing someone's face only when they die" He wanted to tell her that she did think that Loki was dead for some time, but she continued. "Why do you ask, Man of Iron?"
She resorted to using that nickname instead of violence. It certainly felt like a slap in that tone of voice.
"Jorm recognized him on a picture" He saw Yrsa's eyes widen. "None of us ever showed him what he looked like or told him anything. I thought maybe you did."
They both turned to the doorway, watching Jorm in his playpen. He tried to wobbly stand up before falling on his bottom before he even stretched his legs fully.
"Could he contact him?"
"He has no idea Jorm exists, so no" Yrsa gripped the edge of the dryer, her knuckles whitening.
Tony thought about Jorm being the one to seek Loki. Maybe the kid had some mind controlling powers after all.
After a minute of silence Yrsa walked out to gather Jorm in her arms and bury her face in his - surprisingly red - hair. Tony noted that she left two hand shaped dents where her fingers dug into the metal too hard.
He'll have to buy a new dryer.
Jorm was ten months old when he started to walk. Well, actually, it was more of a run, but Tony still had Jarvis print out the frame where he takes his first step off the surveillance cameras. He framed all four copies of it and put one in Bruce's, Yrsa's and his rooms, before hanging the final one in the living room.
Two days later Jorm ran over to him, motioning for Tony to pick him up and yelled out something resembling Tony's name. The man let the kid tug on his beard throughout the rest of the day with no complaints. He may have been a bit disappointed when a week later Jorm called Bruce 'Ruce'. Still, 'Nee' being Jorm's second – actually third but Tony never told anyone about the fact that Jorm not only recognized Loki but also called him his dad – word was something to boast about, since people never believed that Tony would be good with babies. And maybe he was only somewhat decent with this one sole child, but it still counted.
For Jorm's first birthday, Tony threw him the birthday party of the millennium. It was Thomas the Tank Engine themed and while there was only a handful of guests, Tony made sure to pay for a life sized Thomas replica and a professional DJ, although Natasha called him an old drunkard when she heard a club remix of The Engine Roll Call.
Shame on her, cause it was bomb.
Yrsa told him that it was the most bizarre birthday celebration she has ever seen and he took pride in the fact, seeing how she was a millennia old alien. Steve was as fascinated as her about the whole thing and Natasha told him that she still didn't get around to taking him to a club.
The cake was huge and could probably feed about fifty more people. Jorm ate half a slice on his own, his face smeared in blue icing and pieces of cake stuck to his front teeth. Clint doubled over laughing, Bruce took a picture and Yrsa's smile fell a bit.
Everyone took a turn dancing with the man of the hour, who clapped his hands to the music, giggling at being twirled around. After Yrsa put him to bed, the adults had their own after party, the DJ dropping the Thomas theme and going for something more appropriate.
Tony surprised his teammates by staying away from alcohol. They didn't know about the reason for his break up with Pepper, but Bruce and Yrsa exchanged knowing looks.
Jorm was around fifteen months old when he started to mix up 'Tony' and 'Bruce' with 'Dada'. Bruce froze up the first time it happened, almost dropping Jorm while putting him in the bathtub. Tony choked on his own saliva when he heard it while feeding Jorm. Yrsa started to sob the first time she heard it and those definitely weren't happy tears.
It must have been confusing for Jorm and Tony got that. First of all, he lived with three adults, only one of which was in any way related to him. Second of all, two of those adults were male and while they did take care of him, none of them really felt much like fathers while doing so. Third and final point, every cartoon that he watched and every story that he listened to spoke of this mystical being that was a 'father'. Yeah, no doubt the kid had a hard time.
After the third slip up Tony had to check something. He pulled up a picture of Loki that wouldn't leave a child traumatized on his phone and showed it to him.
"Dada!"
Yeah, maybe the situation was even more complicated.
Still, they couldn't punish Jorm for it or something, because well, while it did made his mother cry, it wasn't a bad thing for a child to do. So, they resorted to finding shows and stories with uncles – and man, there wasn't many, more like none at all, Tony had to find an obscure French bedtime story and get Jarvis to translate it – and cramming them down Jorm's throat in hopes of getting him to understand better. The only thing it caused was for Jorm to fuss every time he heard the story and hand them his favourites instead.
Tony felt like he'd regret it someday, but he did finally print out the one decent picture of Loki where he didn't look like a mass murderer that the internet had to offer and put it in Jorm's room, so that the kid would get more familiar with the image of his father. It was an act of desperation, but it did make Jorm slip up less and the only inconvenience it caused was that Yrsa had to put it face down whenever she spent time in his room.
The disaster that was his cell reflected the way he felt perfectly. Broken, full of chaos.
He couldn't believe that the last thing he said to her was that she wasn't his mother.
It always happened. He'll love someone, he'll lose them.
Sleipnir. Yrsa. And now his mother.
He couldn't believe that Yrsa didn't even try to visit him since his mother's death. Did he really mean so little to her that she couldn't offer her comfort?
His mother was a key part in his life. She taught him everything he knew about the world. She showed him kindness, love and warmth. She taught him her ways and basics of magic.
She was the only reason why he was even alive today, her empathy and pure heart leading her to take care of him, a monster Odin knew he'd become.
It seemed that another piece of his heart shriveled up and died, just like the one labeled 'Sleipnir'.
He wondered what Odin will do to his son now that Frigga wasn't shielding him. He wanted to believe that Sleipnir was safe, that maybe they won't be mad enough to hurt a child, but then again, Odin was ready to kill Loki when he was just an infant.
He spent days thinking about it, his thoughts occasionally drifting from his dead mother and soon to be dead son to Yrsa.
He barely noticed when Thor walked over to his cell. He played the same game he did with everyone else, enjoying the guilt in Thor's eyes whenever he mentioned Frigga.
He was supposed to be the strong one. He trained his whole life, he took pride in being a warrior. Loki was always the weak one, the one who enjoyed the 'female' ways of fighting – through words and magic. Thor was supposed to at least keep his pet human safe, but thanks to his failures mother was dead.
But Loki couldn't hide when Thor saw straight past through his mirage. And there was another layer of guilt added to Thor's gaze when he saw Loki's miserable state.
"Is he alive?" Their game stopped bringing Loki joy. He had the opportunity to know about his son's fate and playing with Thor's mind wasn't nearly as important.
"Who?"
"My son. Sleipnir" Something in Thor's posture shifted as soon as he heard the boy's name. Something was wrong, but the relaxed state the man was in meant one thing.
"Yes. And don't worry, nothing will happen to him. You have my word."
"Why should I believe you?" Loki arched his eyebrow. "You lot took away my son. You let my mother die. Why wouldn't you harm him?"
"He's my nephew" Thor shrugged. "While I don't consider you my brother anymore, he's still my kin. You lost that right, but I still view him as family."
"And you have a great track record of keeping your family safe" Loki snorted, the back of his head hitting the wall of his cell. "Let's move on and say that I do believe you. To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you again, Thor?"
"I need you help."
There were many things Loki considered doing after his 'death'. He could take over Asgard, replacing the Allfather with himself and banishing him to Earth without his powers. Or he could use this opportunity to find his son.
It was pretty easy to pull a few strings and find out that he was kept on Frigga's motherland, Vanaheim. It felt like his mother was extending her protection over his child even beyond the grave.
The road to Vanaheim was equally as easy. Finding his son in the realm was harder.
When Loki found him locked in a stable, he swore to skin Odin alive when he got the chance. The poor child was scared and curled up in the corner, his eight skinny legs seeming way too long for his body.
"Sleipnir" Loki materialized next to him, burying his face in his son's silver mane, smiling when it turned to a head of black hair. "My precious boy. I'm here."
"Mother" The boy wrapped his wiry – was he just as skinny as a child? It unnerved him to see that Sleipnir seemed to be just skin and bones – arms around Loki's neck and in a matter of seconds they were gone from there.
Loki looked over his son and was relieved when he found no evidence of mistreating.
"I'm here" Loki repeated, hugging the boy tightly. "Mother is here."
It was the happiest Loki has ever been. His son was finally at his side, safe, loved and cared for. It was everything Loki didn't dare dream about since Sleipnir's birth.
He knew the Allfather was going to get the news that Sleipnir was gone. But Loki's magic was powerful and if he didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be.
After the initial few weeks, Loki felt a sudden need to travel to Midgard. Something called him there, a force he didn't recognize. He decided that it would be easier for them to hide in a place full of humans so the idea itself wasn't that stupid.
He didn't know why he chose New York. Maybe it was his history with the city, maybe it was the mystical force telling him to.
He provided everything they would need to lead normal lives as Midgardians. He changed his appearance into a Midgardian woman's in order to adorn their customs when it came to motherhood. He conjured up Midgardian currency and bought them a small flat. Everything seemed to be falling into place, when one day Loki was out grocery shopping and a magazine cover caught his eye.
A picture of Stark, with 'New fling?' written over it and Yrsa clearly visible as she stood next to the man.
Something inside Loki initially broke before mending back together and filling him with a mix of sadness, anger and excitement.
He appeared in Stark's tower only a few hours later, after making sure that Sleipnir was full, clean and safe. He had a spell monitoring Sleipnir's activity and was ready to give up, if his son needed him.
The first one to stumble upon him was the beast. He stopped in his tracks, watching Loki with confusion.
"Hi?"
He didn't recognize him. It made Loki look down at himself and yes, he was still in his female disguise. He sighed, before turning back to his usual form.
The scientist squealed and hit a device next to the door. The whole room seemed to shrink as every possible entryway closed off, the windows being covered with metal curtains. Loki wanted to laugh at the pathetic lock down when he heard a steady hiss come from behind the man. A small snake started to climb its way up the beast's leg, but the man seemed to think of it as an even bigger tragedy.
"No, Jorm, get back down, don't-"
The snake wrapped itself around the man's neck loosely, before turning to face Loki.
The tiny pet the Avengers kept had a strange aura about him and before Loki was able to comment about the Earth's 'mightiest heroes' hiding behind small serpents, it seemed to backtrack and transform into a child. The beast quickly took it into his arms, preventing it from falling.
"Da!"
Both Loki and the beast froze, while the little child started to reach for Loki with its chubby hands. The door behind Loki opened and he fell face down, a second later realizing that he was hit.
"Now look at me, I've always been pro gun-control and I just shot someone in my own home."
"Tony! Da!"
"Shit."
Yrsa tried not to say a word as she tended to Loki's wounds.
He refused to let Bruce touch him and if he was going to be as stubborn as usual, she didn't have the time to worry about both him and her child.
Except for a wince or two Loki was equally silent, up until she tied up the bandages.
"You never told me."
She stood up and walked over to the sink, washing his blood from her hands.
"You were carrying my son and you never even told me."
"I had no idea" Yrsa wiped her hands before sitting back down on the metal chair in front of him. She tried hard not to look at his bared torso covered in scars that weren't previously there, focusing on his face instead. "I found out after our last conversation. As soon as I gave birth Thor took me here under the Allfather's orders."
"He knows me" Yrsa wanted to look away from his eyes because they were no longer full of anger or pain. There was warmth in them and the same love she saw when he looked at Sleipnir and she couldn't let him fool her. It wasn't okay to love him and he was making it hard not to.
"We don't know why" She knew it might anger him to hear the next words, but they needed to be said. "Tony suspects it might be some kind of a magical bond. But while he may know the word, he has no idea what it means."
"What's his name?"
Loki leaned closer to her his hair falling down, framing his face. He never grew it that long before.
"Jormungandr" Yrsa leaned back, trying to maintain some distance between them. "But we call him Jorm."
"We" He sighed, his hand reaching to brush back her hair. She turned her head, biting her lip. "Is it Stark? Or the doctor?"
"Neither" Yrsa stood up, the air between them suddenly too heavy for her to breathe. "But Tony agreed to house me and they're both great with Jorm."
"Don't lie to me, Yrsa" She was about to retort that everything she said was true, but he brushed her cheek with his fingers, "If it's neither of them, then you're just trying to run away from your feelings for me."
"Yes" She agreed, feeling a sudden surge of bravery. She faced him, staring straight into his eyes. "Because my child isn't safe around you."
She stood up, leaving him frozen and speechless. She was about to walk out the door, when she looked over her shoulder at the man.
"You want to stay for dinner? I'm making lasagna."
Something inside Loki snapped and he fell forward, laughing.
"No, thank you" He stood up and took a hold of his torn shirt before magically mending it. "I've already eaten. I made lasagna for both me and Sleipnir."
Now it was her turn to stand immovable as the man put on his shirt and walked over to her.
"You're wrong" He stated, his voice clear and strong, but without a hint of malice. "Both of my children are perfectly safe around me."
And with that he disappeared, leaving Yrsa alone in the cold, metallic lab.
She took a minute to compose herself, not wanting to face the two men upstairs. She walked over to the light switch wanting to flick it off when she stepped onto a piece of paper. Yrsa leaned down to pick it up and almost dropped it right away as she read its contents.
It was an address and a phone number, both written in an elegant script, with Loki written in the corner.
