Warning:

Things with Yuuri get a bit sad through his perspective. I wrote his POV when I was feeling really bummed out about life, so that's kinda why it's dark.

I'm not really liking how this chapter went, it'll NEVER be this gloomy again.

Skip Yuuri's pov if you wish, it isn't vital stuff, it just highlights how Victor affected him. It gets less weird after the Unrequited love is the worst feeling in the world. line.

Yuuri

The dim lights in the dressing room make it hard to locate the hair gel, but finally I do find it near a large bottle of sparkles. God, pink and silver glitter are in every little crevice, it's nauseating.

I can't help but obsess over what is yet to come during my week with Victor at Yutopia, and an empty feeling settles deep in the pit of my stomach at the horrors to come. Just the thought of our failed relationship brings back a dark, meaningless void. Loneliness seeps into every nook of my body, making me ache all over. Blinded by despair and worthlessness, I find tears gushing out of my eyes until only empty sobs escape from my bleeding lips, smearing my mascara and face paint making me look like a moody drama queen in the rain.

Loneliness is romanticized, it is said that after a year of silence comes a prince. That's a load of bullshit. My near-decade of silence has not come with a prize of a handsome boy on a pony.

No.

My near-decade of silence resulted in a lifetime worth of lost championships, new enemies, and awkward, broken relationships. My year of silence ended up with me falling even more into this empty pit of despair.

I'm to the point of no hope. I ache with empty feelings and with empty promises. The dark void swirls within me, making me choke on the very same air everyone else so easily breathes. The emptiness within me cannot be filled, not with emotion nor self worth.

Everything I do is judged, whether it be by innocent bystanders or those I call 'friends'.

A dog is worth more and is respected more than me because a dog at least can be sold for something. I am wasting away, like a forgotten baloney sandwich on a deathly-hot sidewalk.

There is a dark void inside me, full of meaningless hope and broken promises. Awkward glances and disappointed parents. A lack of social life and a lack of aspiration.

Unrequited love is the worst feeling in the world...

But I put that all past me and prepare myself for the night to come. A night full of obnoxious spectators and dirty dancing.

A night of chaffed thighs and blinding lights. Fixing my face and putting on a confident smile, I strut out to the hall and make my way to the showroom. Loud voices are calling for my name— for Eros, an over-sexualized showroom dancer. It's never for me, after all I am only a former figure skater who gave up on winning too soon. Someone who use to have self worth.

Stepping up onto the stage, I fail to see my half-drunk ex-fiancé, the one with his phone video recorder out, eagerly awaiting Eros' show.

Victor

I fumble around with my phone; the room's neon, fluorescent lighting blinding my eyes. The obnoxiously loud music pounding my ear drums in and making my head spin even more so than it should. All around me sit sweaty people, whether it be dancers or spectators, they're all smothered in the sticky substance.

"Ladies and gentlemen, perverts and admirers, put your hands together for our prized gem, Eros!" A large bald man announces from the D.J. booth, sounding as if he had just popped up out of a terribly shot infomercial. Listening to everyone around me, I'm surprised to note that my sloppy Japanese skills somehow manages to comprehend what everyone around me is whispering about— apparently this Eros guy is the real show stopper...

Moments after Eros struts on the high-risen stage, my mind successfully links his face to my very own Katsuki Yuuri, a man who can brighten the darkest of nights with just a smile. Strange though, I would never have linked my naive, innocent katsudon to the scandalously-dressed eye porn before me. But hey, can't blame the drunk guy for his lonely thoughts.

"Ooh, he's pretty," I slur happily, wrapping my arms around a grumpy, bald man sitting next to me at the bar.

He nods at what I said, shaking me off a little before replying, "I come here for all of his performances. He's quite the slut." I frown at the use of the term before shrugging, it's none of my business over what he thinks really. After shaking me off fully, he turns his back from me and watches the show, ignoring me as well as one can.

Smooth legs wrap one over the other on the stainless steel pole, sweat glistening from all over. The man on stage looks magnificent, even though every bit of him is blurred slightly from my tipsy vision. While I'm drunk out of my own misery, I still remember to take out my phone so it can capture every second of this erotic performance— this way I can rewatch every second of him after I sober up.

The loud— almost raunchy— music shakes the floor and walls as the Sex God before me twirls and twists like an eel on the pole. Transfixed, I can't help but be even more drawn into the performance as he twists his body into impossible positions.

"That move is called the Rainbow Marchenko," Chris, my former skating rival, declares as he plops right down next to me on the bar stool to my left. "Or, as you Russians would call it, the Радуга Марченко." He looks at me for a mere second before turning to the stage with an odd glint in his eyes. The strange man comes out of nowhere— only to party at some random strip club— and acts oh-so casually about stripping positions, this behavior is odd in general but still nevertheless normal for him...

Chris and I stare at the stage, both of us captivated by the flashy performance— and probably more so by Ero's provocative costume, the skin tight lace leaving no room for wonder.

After a minute of observing, Chris turns to me with a small chuckle and asks quietly, "Why's Yuuri Katsuki on stage?" And in that moment, I swear it was as if the world had stopped turning.

"What?" I manage to choke out because surely all the vodka shots I took were merely playing tricks on me, my sweet little pork cutlet would never sell himself out like this.

However, as much as I may want to question it, I did link this dancers face to Yuuri earlier, so it isn't as if this should be any real shock.

"Yuuri Katsuki? Former figure skater? Your ex-fiancé? How else do I describe him?" Chris continues on nonchalantly, his dark eyes still transfixed to the stage.

Realizing my baby is on stage near-naked causes my dinner to splatter all over Chris's nice, polished shoes... My phone— still recording every bit of the performance— falls to my lap just as the music cuts off and just as the exotic dancer disappears into the dark.

"Oh, mon dieu!" I choke out as Chris pats my back soothingly, we somehow managed to exit the club without too much of a mess. The sidewalk is cracked and full of litter, but that seems to not be as much of a problem as my current worries over Yuuri.

"Since when did you learn French?" Chris says quietly, slightly amused by the turn of phrase and my still-shocked expression.

"Oh, I went through some weird phases, my obsession over France ended up with me learning the language."

He nods thoughtful before deciding, "You know, why don't you try winning him back? Don't surrender like France would, I'm sure he isn't completely over you." His opinion, while considerate , goes in one ear and out the other. The possibility of him coming back to me seems way less dim. Why would Yuuri even want some crusty old Russian when he has hundreds— if not thousands— of admirers like those at the club?

"Victor, hope isn't lost. He was crazy about you at one point in time, why not make him fall for you again?" Chris says lightly, brushing my back with his knuckles softly. "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back it was always yours. If it doesn't, it never was." The quote rings in my head and stays there.

Yuuri may have directed his eros elsewhere, but I'll make sure his love is only for me by the end of this week. New beginnings don't necessarily mean new people.

Sorry for this crummy chapter, I tried making Victor's POV longer to make up for Yuuri's evident heart brokenness.

Should I rewrite this chapter?