Chapter 6: I will never watch episode 107-108 (Guardian dog arc) ever again. I'm so used to the series making fun of suicide, and for it to take a very serious turn about it made me feel like I was hit from behind, and the reason it happened felt like a kick to my face on the ground.
Hijikata opened his eyes at the sound of his alarm clock. He felt like he wasn't sleeping in his own room for a moment until he remembered last night. He was lying on Shinpachi's lap because he refused to accept a break from the mission.
He sat up as he felt an internal battle inside him of whether he should not drop out of the mission or he should for awhile. He had to admit that he felt energized after such a good sleep that Shinpachi provided for him. He still felt stressed, but the thought of Shinpachi's presence soothed some of his jagged nerves.
"..."
._._._.
"A break?" Kondo was surprised by the request.
Hijikata nodded. It was still morning, and the two were currently meeting alone. "But first I want to tell you thank you for yesterday. Sorry if I didn't seem enthusiastic."
"That's okay! That's okay! At least you enjoyed yourself. It looks like you got a good night's sleep, so I'm glad!"
"Ah..." Hijikata didn't bother explain why he had a good sleep, and instead continued, "The reason that I want to take a break is because the cult obviously planned to drive us crazy with the repetitive messages, and I hate to say it, but it's working. So in order to prevent this from traumatizing me and our men, its best to go into intervals for at least a week. I have my report on my investigation for the next member who will take my place."
"Found him." Sougo entered the room with a terrified Shinpachi wearing a collared leash. "While the shinsengumi was going through the trouble of celebrating Hijikata-san's stupid birthday party, Edo became a mess and there are recordings that prove that the Yorozuya was responsible for all the damages."
"Then why is only Shinpachi-kun here?" inquired Kondo.
"Aah, arresting the Yorozuya again was boring, so I decided to take one of them as our slave."
Hijikata scolded, "Don't go deciding something like that! We aren't human traffickers!"
"But this is good. You have a new assistant, Hijikata-san. I don't have any use for him, so he's all yours. Happy birthday."
Shinpachi panicked, and Hijikata yelled, "I don't want a slave for a birthday gift!"
Kondo wasn't sure of how to handle the whole ordeal, but he figured having Shinpachi work off the tax money was probably a good idea! Plus... "Good job, Sougo."
"Don't praise him!" Hijikata berated!
"Mah, mah, Toshi, Shinpachi can prove to be a valuable asset to the shinsengumi." He smiled at the disturbed megane, "Neh, Shinpachi. Once you see how well you fit with the shinsengumi, you'll finally consider taking over my position as chief when I retire."
"No way in hell." Shinpachi deadpanned. His words trying to stab Kondo, but the idiot remained oblivious to them.
"Alright! Toshi, I'll leave it to you to show my brother-in-law around since you're free now!"
"Don't call me your brother-in-law!" Shinpachi yelled, but the gorilla and the sadist left.
With the two of them alone together, Hijikata found this to be a good opportunity to talk. "Are you alright Shinpachi?"
The megane removed the collar and replied, "Yeah. It's so sudden, but yesterday was a huge mess. I heard over the news that the rampage that my sister and the others caused made it look like a giant amanto attacked our city. Ah, but what I really want to say is that I'm really glad that you took my advice after all, Hijikata-san. I'm so relieved. Did you sleep well last night?"
He gave a positive, "Aah." He started to feel a bit embarrassed because he remembered how Shinpachi called him a child last night. He quickly smothered the memory, and refocused himself to his duty. "I am sure that Kondou-san can assign one of the shinsengumi members to lead and analyze the leads we will gather over the missiles cult, so in the mean time, I'll give you a run down over parts of the shinsengumi that you don't know about, and then give you your schedule and a list of the Kyokuchuu Hatto. It's important that you have those memorized before you can even think of working here."
Shinpachi dutifully nodded. "Yes. Thank you Hijikata-san."
So the older samurai gave Shinpachi a tour of the shinsengumi building, while also giving information and instructions of what should happen at certain areas. After that, he had to attend to his vice chief duties.
"You can go home for the day. The only thing you have to do for now is remember everything I've told you and study our regulations, and the shinsengumi creed. I expect you at the morning meeting at 8 sharp. If you're late, you'll be made to commit seppuku. Do I make myself clear."
"Yes!" Shinpachi replied energetically. "Thank you very much, Hijikata-san. I'll do my best."
"Eh? You're leaving?" Sougo suddenly appeared with his aloofness. "But we have a room prepared for you."
"What?" Shinpachi was confused. What room?!
"You're working for the shinsengumi now, which means you live here now." The red-eyed samurai replied. "I had our men send the stuff you'll need over here, and we've convinced your sister to allow this, so she doesn't go rampant."
Shinpachi felt his reality shatter.
Dear Diary #106
HELP MEEEEEE! I can't stay in the shinsengumi 24/7! Not when I have feelings for Hijikata-san! If he finds out, I don't want to be rejected when I haven't tried to move on on my own! It could ruin our friendship! I tried to call out to my sister, Gin-san and Kagura-chan, HELL EVEN SADAHARU, to save me! But they didn't want to take responsibility for the damages that were caused! Those traitors!
But what did I expect. All I have to do now is try to
"What are you writing?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Shinpachi screamed! He was currently sleeping in the room given to him. It was a bit smaller than his room back at his house, and since he only had what he needed like his clothes, toothbrush, hygiene, and other necessities along with this new book, his room was bland, too. He really missed his Otsu-chan posters! But at least Hijikata-san allowed him day offs or half days on the days that a concert or his usual imperial meeting took place.
But other than that, why was this demonic sadist here?!
Sougo told him, "I only came in to tell you that Hijikata-san gets up at six in the morning to take a shower at the shinsengumi locker room."
Shinpachi waited for an explanation of why he had to know this, but the light haired brunet just stared at him. He nervously stuttered, "Wh-why are you te-telling me this?" The older man couldn't...
Sougo grinned as if his face would become a cheshire cat's own. "Good night..." he leaned forward with a leer. "Shin-chan." The use of that affectionate nickname made the megane shiver in complete, utter fear. He wasn't going to sleep tonight.
._._._.
"AAAH!" Shinpachi sprung up after having a nightmare of Sougo sneaking into his room again, but this time to do unspeakable things to him! He knew that the sadist should be a trusted ally, but after two years of witnessing his sadism from afar, he was terrified that he became a target!
The eighteen-year-old groaned when he could feel his cold sweat sticking to his clothes. He needed a shower. Shinpachi looked at the clock to see that it was five in the morning. Sougo told him that Hijikata would shower at six, so he should be safe to take a shower now. There was no regulation that he couldn't.
So he made his way there, and looked around the locker room to make sure no one was there. The place was clear, so he stripped himself of his clothing.
Unknown to him, Hijikata was entering the locker room, and appeared just in time to see Shinpachi start stripping. The officer was used to seeing a man strip, and would think nothing of it, but this was Shinpachi's body. He took a moment to look at the scars that littered the young man's back and sides. While he did so, he took off his own clothes.
He took off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt first to free his upper body. Despite all that fat he consumed daily, his torso was muscular and was littered with its own scars that was far more extensive than Shinpachi's own. He stopped at his belt buckle when Shinpachi took off his pants, exposing his round behind.
The teen had a toned body compared to his built one. His athletic build was similar to Yamazaki's, but he body was fuller in some areas...definitely for his bottom half.
Shinpachi felt eyes inspecting him. He thought that Sougo was lurking in the locker room ready to humiliate him, but he was too scared to look behind him. However, he began feeling like those eyes were more concentrated on his bottom half. He...He knew that he had quite the body now, but he always preferred to be modest. Now that he's exposed like this, he began wondering if there were any homos or bisexuals in the shinsengumi. He wondered if he was going to get jumped! It was a terrible thing to think, but after reading all those mangas, he began to feel a bit paranoid being in a room full of men!
He can fend for himself, but he rather not have the scandal. So he found the resolution to look behind him to prevent it.
He then made eye contact with a half naked Hijikata-san who was staring at hi...The man's eyes looked up to meet Shinpachi's eyes. The two silently stared at each other. "..."
Shinpachi snapped his head back. "IT'S HIJIKATA-SAAAAAAAN! WHY IS HE HERE?! HE SHOULDN'T BE HERE! IT NOT SIX YET! AND I'M NAKED! WAS HE GIVING THE HEAD-TO-TOE LOOK! HE SEEMED DISAPPOINTED! AM I HIDEOUS?! I FEEL SO ASHAMED! I BET HE'S THINKING MY BUTT LOOK LIKE PANCAKES! IT'S THE SHIMURA GENES! ANUE-E AND I ARE CURSED TO BE TOOTHPICKS! CURSE YOU KAMI-SAMA!"
While he was screaming in his head, Hijikata was having an internal panic of his own. "DID HE CATCH ME STARING AT HIS BUTT! HEY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! IT JUST SO HAPPENED THAT YOUR BUTT IS A LOT MORE PLUMP THAN ANY GUY'S ASS I'VE EVER SEEN! NOT THAT I STARE AT OTHER GUYS' ASSES BUT YOURS WAS A DEFINITE SURPRISE! I CAN'T TELL HIM THAT! IT WOULD MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A WEIRDO! HEY SHINPACHI! DON'T MAKE THIS ANY MORE WEIRD THAN IT ALREADY IS!"
Shinpachi then realized, "This is a good time to test my feelings for Hijikata-san! I only imagined the two of us doing it, but like the manga taught me that if I stare at his body, and feel no desire to jump him immediately, then I am not interested in him! But I'm still bisexual! So here we go!" Shinpachi looked at Hijikata-san again who was entirely naked this time. In Shinpachi eyes, his built body was covered in sparkles, and what was in between his legs was- "OH NO! HE'S HOOOOT!" Shinpachi covered his interested little buddy. He made it go flaccid by thinking about Catherine and Otose being magical girls. That worked too well.
But for Hijikata, that sudden shy glance at him did make things weirder! "OOOOOI! I SAID NOT TO MAKE THINGS WEIRDER! FIX THIS! FIX IT NOW! IF I SAY ANYTHING, IT MAY COME OUT WRONG! SO SAY SOMETHING NOW!"
As if Shinpachi could hear him, he nervously asked, "Hi-Hiji-I mean vice chief." he was a shinsengumi member now. "What are you doing here now? Okita-san told me that you didn't shower until six o'clock."
That was a good question. Feeling the awkwardness disappear, he coolly replied, "I couldn't sleep."
That worried the megane. He fully turned around to look at Hijikata-san with a concerned expression. "Is it because of the cult case?"
Hijikata hesitated to reply. He didn't want to say that it was because he craved for Shinpachi to put him to sleep again, and that he was worried about how he was doing. The shinsengumi wasn't the yorozuya, and the teen never showed interest in joining. He was sure that Shinpachi could handle it, but he couldn't help worrying.
So instead he replied, "Yeah. It's my first night to not look forward to hearing that annoying message, but I'll be fine."
That was understandable. "That's good to hear. I couldn't sleep because it's my first time to sleep here where Okita-san practically lives. He bought me here, and I can't help thinking that he has something planned for me."
"You have nothing to worry about. The only person Sougo kids around with is me."
"You say kidding, I'm thinking executing." Shinpachi always wondered how Hijikata could consider the sadists antics to be child play between them.
"Anyway, we're here to wash up right. Not chatter." The vice chief pointed out.
"Ah, yeah. Do you want me to help you wash your back?" Shinpachi suggested without being a pervert. It was common courtesy to give that suggestion!
"Sure."
The two of them went into the shower room, and it was silent throughout the whole ordeal. Shinpachi tried not to think at all when he washed the vice chief's back, and tried not to make a single sound when the man gave back the favor.
When that was over, the two decided to get breakfast together.
"But what about the schedule? Breakfast isn't until seven." Shinpachi pointed out while they headed to the mess hall to make their own breakfast.
"The division responsible to make breakfast should be up at six-thirty and preparing the meals, and then they are allowed to get ready for breakfast while the other division responsible for serving the meals take over. That's why I wake up at six. I make sure they do their duty."
"That's very diligent of you hiji-I mean vice chief. It's to be expected from a man like you." Shinpachi complimented honestly.
"You can call me, Hijikata if ya want. Don't take it as special treatment. It's just weird to hear you call me vice chief. Everyone else in the shinsengumi should be aware of the type of relationship we have, so they won't make a fuss over it."
Shinpachi was relieved to hear that. Calling Hijikata-san, "vice chief" was weird for him, too. "Alright."
They reached the mess hall, and found that the division was making the breakfast. They took their trays, and took their seats facing each other.
"So have you figured out what you're interested in?" Hijikata decided to ask.
"Huh? Oh, are you talking about my sexuality? If it is, then I did. It turns out that I really am bisexual after all. But I am more heterosexual leaning which means that I am more interested in girls than guys."
"Huh. How did you figure out?"
"Uh..." Shinpachi couldn't tell him that it was because of him and his sexiness.
Hijikata quickly assumed by that hesitation, "Don't tell me that it was the red head shit."
"No! I-I figured out by...a naughty dream." Shinpachi blushed bright red. He was such a prude!
Hijikata felt a bit spectacle about that, but it wasn't his business. He didn't understand this whole sexuality mess, and preferred to keep his foot out of it. But his mouth slipped, "With who?"
Shinpachi's face reached a whole new shade of red. "I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT!"
"DON'T SHOUT!"
"SORRY!"
"YOU'RE STILL SHOUTING!"
"BECAUSE YOU'RE SHOUTING!"
"WELL IF YOU STOP SHOUTING! I'LL STOP SHOUTING!"
"FINE!"
"FINE!"
The softly glared at each other. "..."
Hijikata decided to lighten up the atmosphere with a joke. He always felt his jokes were stupid because Kondo and Sougo gave him pitiful looks when he tried, but he figured that Shinpachi could be different. "So when you find a guy instead of girl, you plan to wear a wedding dress to your wedding."
"A-as if! I only wore that wedding dress because Otsu-chan asked me to!"
"Then if she asked you to wear a wedding dress to your own wedding, you would?"
"Ugh!" The teen diverted his eyes from the man shyly. He honestly replied, "...Maybe."
Hijikata felt his milk almost squirt out of his nose.
"Shu-Shut up! There's nothing wrong with wearing a wedding dress!"
"In the age we're living in, I guess there isn't." Hijikata felt himself smile a little, but hid it by drinking his cup of milk. Shinpachi for a moment thought he saw that smile, but that would be weird. Hijikata-san barely ever smiled in a none creepy way. He was mostly all work and and barely any play.
They continued eating their breakfast while Hijikata questioned Shinpachi of how his study came along, and to reassure him that if he needed anything, to come to him.
Then the morning routine happened. Everyone else began filing in to have breakfast after getting showered and dressed. Shinpachi arrived at the meeting room with Hijikata and knelled at his place. They waited in silence while everyone else filed in. Once everyone was present, they began with discussing about the progress with the missiles cult case, other various problems, and future events and meetings that the the shinsengumi will take part in.
After that, Shinpachi was greeted by Tetsunosuke Sasaki aka cherry boy or Hijikata's assistant. "It's good to see you again Shinpachi!" The older male told him happily and held his hands in his. The two weren't close, but now that they have the same position, they can be on good terms. "Vice chief had told me that you will be working with me until your community service is over! I look forward to working with you!"
"Ah, me too, Tetsu-san! Please take care of me from now on!"
The cherry boy then informed him about everything they were going to do today. Everything went smoothly then Shinpachi thought it would. Tetsu took on the job to get the tools Hijikata needed for his work while Shinpachi organized his paper work, and sent them to the proper rooms to be stored, or have them sent to the correct location.
While he worked, he wondered how everyone was doing without him. He wondered if Gin-san and Kagura got a job that led to a crazy adventure. He wondered if his sister was having fun with Kyubei or beating up Kondo since he seemed to be nowhere around.
He wanted to see them, but as far as he was aware, he had to remain within the shinsengumi headquarters to do his work.
He was informed that he had the same salary as Tetsu, and if he worked long hours, he was most likely to leave...
"Six months?!" Shinpachi jaw dropped when Hijikata told him that while the man was signing papers late at night.
"It's to pay for the taxes put into the destruction of the city and the bill to bail out your friends and sister from going to jail. Except for the ninja chick (Sarutobi) of course." The older samurai explained.
The megane wasn't sure if he could last that long! Maybe he could if he didn't have a crush on Hijikata-san! The pain on his chest was dull since he had hope that he could outlast at least two months, but now that it's half a year, he won't be free until early November! He wasn't sure if his heart could suffocate the pain.
He couldn't help pulling a sad face at the revelation. Hijikata noticed, and tried to cheer him up, "It won't be that bad. You have your day offs and you can still go to all those concerts with your friends. You also have free three meals here, but if you want to gain a bit more cash to buy the stuff you want, then maybe I can pay you. It won't be much, but-"
"It's alright Hijikata-san!" Shinpachi had to make him stop. This kindness...this special attention...it's like a jackhammer breaking through his concrete chest. "Thank you, but I am fine. This is the last of your papers right? I'll have them checked, and then file it away before going to bed." He took the papers, and tried not to look like he was trying to escape from the room.
Tetsu had been present throughout the conversation. He was worried. "Shinpachi seems to hate it here, Vice chief. Perhaps we should have the others do community service to lessen his time here."
"...It's alright, Tetsu. Getting the others to do community work will only cause more disasters to pay for, and his older sister is already busy with her own job to take care of herself and the dojo without her brother. Shinpachi probably knows that too, which is why he didn't suggest it."
"I see...Then may I ask of why he hates it here?"
Hijikata blew his smoke. His eyes closed as he replied, "I don't know whether he hates being here because he doesn't feel suited for our line of work, or because he despises Kondou-san for trying to win his favor just to get with his sister. Someone has to pay the price for the damages caused, so it doesn't really matter. He just has to learn to live here for the mean time."
._._._.
For the next day, Shinpachi did his best to avoid Hijikata-san by taking a shower at the same time as the others. He did feel a bit self conscious in there since he felt eyes were on him. Nobody else in the shinsengumi was aware of his sexuality, and he was used to seeing naked men, so he didn't feel embarrassed for seeing them.
When he reached the mess hall, he sat with Yamazaki. "Hey Yamazaki-san! Good morning!"
"Ah, Shinpachi! Good morning! How was your first day yesterday?"
"It was good. A lot of paper work that I'm not used to at all since Gin-san never bothered with the stuff, but work is work!"
"I hear ya. But it must be better than sitting around all day staring at people's own lives go by."
"Sounds terrible, but the fact that you can do something like that for a long period of time is admirable. As always you're really awesome, Yamazaki-san." Shinpachi honestly complimented him.
The spy grinned shyly since he's not used to such praise, even from Shinpachi who does it easily. "Mah, mah, Shinpachi you shouldn't be that friendly here in the shinsengumi. To be honest, I'm a little worried for you."
The megane blinked. "Eh? Why?"
"Well," Yamazaki first looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping, and then had Shinpachi lean his ear in. He had his hand cover both sides of his lips before whispering, "I overheard some of the guys yesterday and this morning talking about you. It seems that they took notice of you."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Shinpachi whispered.
"Uhm, well it means that...you were rather popular in the locker room."
"E-!" Yamazaki covered his mouth from screaming! Once the teen calmed down, he continued to whisper, "It's just a warning! Of course, they won't attack you in the locker room, but the shinsengumi actually has some men interested in other men. I'm only telling you, so if one of them ask you out for a drink or confesses, you can be prepared!"
"But isn't dating other officers in the shinsengumi prohibited."
"It is, but it doesn't stop one night stands."
"Why do you know so much about this!"
"Everyone in the shinsengumi knows about this! I just don't pay any mind to it! But after hearing what I did, I figured I should give you the heads up!"
Yamazaki pulled away. The two stared at each other. Yamazaki just want to see if Shinpachi could process the information. The megane was freaked out! If he was straight, he wouldn't have minded, but he's bisexual, and what if he doesn't make the right decision! What if he's swayed by the flow of events and ends up at a love hotel room with one of them! He's a man! He can't control these urges if they come at the full moon!
"Uhm," He leaned forward with a gesture that he was going to whisper. Yamazaki leaned forward. "I'm actually bisexual."
The spy's eyes grew wide as saucers. He leaned back and stared at the blushing Shinpachi. "You're serious?" A nod. "When?"
"Last week."
"Really?"
"This sort of discovery does happen out of the blue, and now that I'm here, I'm worried of what this new discovery could do to me."
"I see...Well, if anyone is giving you trouble, you can always come for me for advice. I've been here since the beginning, and a lot of things had happened, so I can be a reliable source." The man said awkwardly since this was an awkward moment, but his words were sincere.
Shinpachi was glad. He had an ally in this. And perhaps maybe... "Uhm, Yamazaki-san, I also want to tell you something, but it needs to be discussed in private."
"Private?"
Shinpachi nodded.
"Ah, well, I have a woman I have to spy on today. Hijikata-san usually comes over to check up on me. When he decides to, you can tell him that you want to be the one. He trusts you, so he will let you. We can discuss whatever you want over there."
"But I don't want to bother your work."
"It's alright. I can talk and spy at the same time. It's one of my many talents."
Hearing that, Shinpachi gave him an appreciative, kind smile. "Thank you, Yamazaki-san."
"It's no problem."
They then moved on to talk about other things while Sougo had been staring at them from afar with his earphones on. He found their strange behavior amusing enough to report back to Hijikata, so he made his way to the meeting room.
The vice chief was surprised to see him come in so early. "Sougo, did something happen?"
"I just wanted to tell you that Shinpachi and Yamazaki were whispering to each other at the cafeteria."
That was weird. "And why are you telling me this?"
The red-eyes samurai shrugged his shoulders, and said, "Those two always see each other outside of work to talk. I wonder what a bunch of boring, plain guys have to talk about." He took his seat. "Ah, but Shinpachi isn't so plain anymore. He was quite the show in the locker room earlier."
"WHAT?!" Hijikata was extremely concerned! He imagined that Shinpachi may have been flaunting his body in the locker room! But that was so unlike him! Or maybe he got into some playful chatter with them that led to some physical playing!
"We have guys here in the shinsengumi plenty of times, but they all look like background characters. Shinpachi isn't a background character some of the time, so he must've caught a few of the shinsengumi's homos' eyes. Who doesn't love to touch someone who isn't a background character sometimes."
Hijikata couldn't say another word. Instead he quickly added another reminder needed to be addressed in his speech.
When the meeting began, the officers were terrified of him, except for Sougo of course. They listened to what was being addressed with all their might as if their lives depended on it! Shinpachi was really worried of what could've sparked this animosity!
"There's also something else I like to remind you bastards. Kyokuchuu Hatto, regulation 36: Dating within the shinsengumi is strongly prohibited. The price will not be seppuku, but after hearing something rather interesting earlier, I'm considering changing that rule. Do I make myself clear?"
"YES VICE CHIEF!"
Everyone dispersed to their own duties after that. Kondo held Hijikata back to talk to him. "Hey Toshi, what was that all about?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean about possibly changing the punishment for violating regulation 36. Did something happen to one of our men?" The chief inquired worriedly.
His kindness making Hijikata glad that he's the chief. He replied, "No, but we have new men in our ranks, and the rapid change in culture of what's acceptable and not is something to take seriously. I don't want any of them to think that they can be reckless with their hormones within our property."
"But you know Toshi that you can't prevent what they do outside of work. In this day and age when men can soon no longer have to be ashamed of the flame they feel for another, it's a roaring flame that can't be prevented even by your threats."
"...What are you trying to say Kondo-san?"
"Just that maybe you should give that regulation a change! Like you said, culture is changing, so we should adapt to it!" Kondo let out a hearty laugh since he found the situation funny for some reason.
._._._.
Later that day, Hijikata-san was ready to go out to check on Yamazaki. Shinpachi took the opportunity. "I can do that!"
"Eh?" Hijikata felt a small, animated sweat bead on his face. "Why do you want to see Yamazaki all of the sudden."
"Ah, I actually have something I need to tell him right now. It's important, but I'll understand if you need me here." Shinpachi gave him a sweet, considerate smile that pulled at men's heart strings.
Hijikata fell victim to that smile. "Alright, but you better be here within an hour. Make sure no one spots you visiting him."
"Thank you very much, Hijikata-san! I promise to be back soon!"
The yorozuya male went on his way quickly. Tetsu was present for the entire exchange. "Uh...vice chief. You're really nice to him."
The demon vice chief heard those words as a threat to his power, so he growled with a demonic glare, "What do you mean?"
The poor assistant felt terrified, but he honestly answered, "Well, it's his second day, and you are really gentle."
"Gentle?" That threw the man off.
"I mean...how do I put this...I understand that his position here is not permanent, and the two of you are friends, but nothing about that warrants you to treat him any different from your other officers. Or have you always been this gentle to him? I'm sorry if I said too much."
Hijikata was silent. Was he being gentle with Shinpachi? He was worried for the young man since the sudden change in lifestyle happened, but would he act the way he did with someone else?
._._._.
Shinpachi hurriedly, but also sneakily slipped into the room that Yamazaki was using to spy on his target. "Yamazaki, I'm here." Shinpachi said softly since the walls were thin.
The spy didn't look away from the window gap that he was peaking through. "Ah, Shinpachi! You got vice chief to let you go! So what is it that you wanted to tell me?"
"Are you sure?" He asked, though he was taking a seat on the futon. "I don't want to ruin your focus."
"Don't mock me. I can multitask! It's one of my many skills!"
"Okay..." Shinpachi was glad that Yamazaki was facing away from him because it made things so much easier, so he spit it out, "I'm falling for Hijikata-san."
"WHAT?!" Yamazaki looked away from the window.
"DON'T LOOK THIS WAY!" Shinpachi yelled back at him.
Yamazaki whipped back to the window. It was a good thing that both rooms beside him were empty at the moment. "A-Are you sure yo-you're not confused..." That was a rude question to ask, but this was the vice chief they were talking about! I mean that guy is a good guy, but still, he's a ruffian beast compared to the well-mannered Shinpachi!
It's like beauty and the beast, but the beast actually kills and harm people on a regular basis instead of just roar at people! And the beauty...well, Shinpachi has his faults, but it's not that bad compared to the people he works with.
Shinpachi helplessly replied, "I know I'm not, but I wish I was because I know that the longer I stay at Hijikata-san's side, I will be swallowed by my feelings for him. I know that I shouldn't fall for him. He doesn't believe in love, and I don't want to convince him to believe because love is a lot like a samurai's bushido. You cannot give a samurai their bushido. They have to find and believe in it by themselves."
"...How are you so sure that you've fallen for him? I-If you don't mind me asking that is..."
Shinpachi hugged his legs. He felt embarrassed by this whole thing, but he still confessed, "I know the difference between attraction and love. I've been attracted to many girls since Gin-san seems to attract many beautiful ones, but my feelings were nothing more but a mere infatuation, but my feelings for Hijikata-san is consistent like a flower petal not blown by the storm. I want to reject them, but it's becoming painful."
"...Well, feelings take time to develop, and when you're hooked, you're hooked." The spy said from experience. "But it's not all that bad in my opinion. It is painful when you-Oh who am I kidding?! Tama-chan! It's been two years and we're still not together! Why have the anpan gods forsaken me! I mean we see each other every now and then, but either way is painful! Shinpachi, you're screwed!"
"I didn't come here for that kind of confidence!" Shinpachi scolded him! And then calmed down to get to the point. "Then you understand what I'm going through. I am happy to be Hijikata-san's assistant, but right now I want to stop myself from falling in love with him. Normally we wouldn't see each other for more than a few hours every now and then, but now that its turned 24/7 for almost six months, I don't know what will happen to me. Maybe these feelings will fade, but I don't want to take that chance. I was hoping that you could help me."
Yamazaki decided to help. Shinpachi was young after all. When he was his age, he didn't think about love. Knowing now of what love could do to him, he was truly grateful that he didn't fall in love when he was younger. Also this was HIJIKATA they were talking about. They could make a pretty decent couple, but if things get messy, it could ruin the relative peace between the yorozuya and the shinsengumi.
"Ah," He popped an idea! "You can join the team in charge of the missiles cult investigation!"
"Eh? But I'm not a detective."
"It's alright. The team needs members for additional uses other than solving the case such as providing them with refreshments or go out to find more leads during patrols. Vice chief assigned himself to take over it from the person placed in charge. I'm not sure how long this case will last, but at least your time with vice chief will be minimized. How about it?"
"That could work! I knew I could count on you, Yamazaki-san! Thank you! Well, I should report back to Hijikata-san, and then ask Kondou-san if I can join the team on the case!"
"Go for it!" Yamazaki cheered him up as he left!
Shinpachi quickly made it back to base to give his report to the man he was in love with. He entered his office with a bright smile that distracted both the officer and his assistant.
"Shinpachi, what happened between you and Yamazaki?"
"What do you mean? I only talked with him, and then made my way here."
Tetsu explained, "It's just that you seem happier than you were earlier."
Shinpachi lightly blushed. It was a little embarrassing to show his emotion so expressively when he's holding a secret. That blush only gave the two men in the room the wrong idea, but the teen swore, "That's because Yamazaki-san told me a joke that only us plain guys would understand! He's stationed at the room you directed, and he has his eyes one the target. Everything is calm for the time being. Is there anything else that you would like me to do?"
"No-I mean," Hijikata thought on Tetsu's words. He can't be gentle with Shinpachi. He didn't want any of his officers thinking he was favoring him, so he gave the megane a round of orders to have papers filed, to buy his usual pack of cigarettes and bottles of mayonnaise, and to do other menial tasks.
For a week, Shinpachi did them diligently with great dexterity. He hadn't been able to ask to get into the missiles cult due to the piling work that Hijikata poured on him without mercy. Tetsu felt worried, but Shinpachi was fine with it. Especially since the work actually kept him busy from having deeper feelings for the vice chief.
Plus, Hijikata would become busy with the missiles case for a week.
Shinpachi also hadn't seen Yamazaki at all that week, but he had gotten to know a few of the other shinsengumi officers while he worked.
Though behind his back, the officers gossiped, "That Shinpachi guy is pretty handy. Hard to believe he's from the yorozuya. Aren't those guys supposed to be troublesome?"
"You wouldn't know. You're a newbie. The yorozuya are the ones who has a habit of creating chaos around Edo, and getting our Commander and Vice Chief, and even Captain Okita mixed up in it. It's not surprised that someone happens to be handy if they wanted to function properly."
"Isn't his name in one of the regulations? It think it was the very last one where we can treat the others badly except for him since he's the little brother of the woman Commander's still all over."
"Seriously? Then the commander has good taste! I bet she would make a good wife!" A newbie said which got him grimaces and traumatized expressions.
One of them cautiously said, "She's the best choice for Commander." The other experienced officers nodded curtly.
"One thing is for sure is that she's a beauty." One of them said for sure. "And we can see that that the apples fell from the same tree."
"He used to be pretty plain. I mean, he's still plain, but something about him is attractive."
"Yeah..." The officers spy on Shinpachi who was walking across the hallways. The officer had no feminine or masculine beauty. He was simply a beauty to be acknowledged.
"Y'know, he's really boring when you don't associate him with the other people in his life." One of them commented. The others agreed.
"But what about when he's drunk? He's off tomorrow right?"
The officers looked at each other, and jumped at the opportunity "Hey Shimura!" They called him by his last name as they crowded behind him. Shinpachi thought his glasses was foggy because he felt like a body of five or six heads were talking to him. "Wanna get a drink? Tomorrow's your day off right?"
Not the type to deny when he has nothing else to do, he awkwardly replied, "Uhm, sure."
"Great! We'll be waiting for you when you're off!"
"O-okay. See you later then." He gave them a quick, kind smile before heading off to his duties.
._._._.
Hijikata inhaled his last cigarette for the day while Tetsu was preparing to leave. He felt uneasy for some reason until he realized that Shinpachi was no longer around. "Oi, Tetsu. Where's Shinpachi?"
"He left to drink with the other officers tonight. You were taking a long time at the lavatory," That was because the toilet seat was covered in itching powder by a certain someone! "So I told him it was okay to leave since our work was done for the day. He said that he'll be back as soon as he can, but I told him to go have fun. It's nice to see that he's liking it here."
Hijikata was glad for that, too, but for some reason he also felt disappointed. He hadn't felt this disappointed since he thought that Shinpachi's type was a bland person like Yamazaki.
For the rest of the night, he lied on his bed with his eyes opened, wallowing in the feeling of disappointment. He tried to think his way out of the feeling, but before he knew it, hours had passed.
Pissed, he decided to take a walk around the building. To his surprise, he found a stumbling, hiccuping Shinpachi.
"Shinpachi, what are you doing here?"
"Hi-Hijikata-san?" The drunk megane looked at him with a dazed, flushed face. "Good -hiccup- evening. I was trying to get to the kitchen. Wa -hiccup- ter."
The older samurai sighed. He pulled the smaller teen to his side to hold onto as they walked to the kitchen. There, Shinpachi drank a lot of water, and ate a little before he was helped to his bed.
Since the futon was low, Hijikata placed a strong hand behind the teen's head and a secured arm around his body as he lied his body down. Shinpachi felt like he was being lied on a cloud by a pair of strong, gentle arms. When the gentle strength disappeared, Shinpachi yearned for them. He asked the man to keep him close, "Are you this gentle with Okita-san and Kondou-san when they're drunk?"
Hijikata looked down at the drunk male. He remembered Tetsu's opinion on his treatment with the younger man, but that memory wasn't working right now. There didn't have to be a distance. Before he knew it, his hand moved without his permission to caress the heated cheek. Shinpachi snuggled into that hand with a feeling of cherished, content in his chest.
The older man found this to be a perfect opportunity to ease this confusing disappointment swirling inside his body. He asked, "Shinpachi...Are you interested in Yamazaki?"
"Yamazaki?" Shinpachi knew that he should feel confusion, but his emotions had run off somewhere. He did his best to answer, "No. We're just friends. I love someone else."
"You love someone else?" This didn't please the older man. "Who?"
Shinpachi replied with a lazy smile, "He's here."
"Here? In the shinsengumi?"
Shinpachi nodded, and then fell asleep, leaving Hjikata in a state of deeper confusion. He no longer felt disappointment, but he was now feeling really angry and suspicious at the moment. Shinpachi was in love with one of his men. Who was it?
._._._.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad you guys are enjoying the fic! Right now I'm in college, so I'm going to be busy, but I'll try to update whenever I can!
Hijikata can't help being gentle with Shinpachi cuz it just comes natural to him when its just the two of them, and they aren't carried away by other people's antics.
You can't deny the gentle force within you Hijikata. *Whispers* You can't.