Chapter Five

Anne pushed passed him, her bare feet once again in the cold water, but the chill of the temperature did nothing to stop her. The heat of anger pulsating through her, meant she barely felt it. She barrelled to the door and with every bit of energy left in her, began banging on the wood shouting as loud as she could over the sound of the storm.

Frederick was once again at her side, this time wrapping his arms around her from behind and lifting her so her feet rested atop of his boots. Anne in turn banged her fists against his chest instead of the door, crying at him to let her go.

"Anne. Anne! Please listen." he begged. "What I said, it was unforgivable, I am so truly sorry. You did not deserve that. I do not know where it came from. Only, a soul that has been broken, so miserable for so long, tends to spout nonsense when pushed to the limit, that is the only excuse I can offer you."

She stopped struggling and blew out a long hard breath until she stopped shaking. She was still furious with him, and yet she found the words he had just uttered hurt more deeply than anything he said previously. She knew eight years ago she hurt him so irrecoverably that there maybe no coming back from it, and that, those hurtful remarks, had had been his way of hurting her back. She stood silently unable to look at him or speak.

He in turn sucked in a breath and released it "Why must we be tormented by the consequences others actions have thrust upon us."

Thinking he could only be referring to their current predicament, she frowned. "Sir you cannot be so punishing of my nephew, he is only a young boy without being properly checked he has been allowed to grow up-"

"I was referring to your father." He snapped, regretting it immediately after. He was trying to remain calm.

"My Father!" she gawped. "I admit he is far from blameless in regards to our past, but I fail to see how he can be held responsible for our current situation."

"If he had not allowed your family to be reduced to such dire-straights, so only a retrenchment would save you, the house would not have been let, my sister and her husband would not have come here, I would not have come here and we would not have been forced together like this. It is all his fault." He blurted out in one long breath. Anne openly guffawed at the ridiculousness of his words, "you find our current state amusing now Miss Elliot." he remarked.

"No sir, but I do find the absurdity in your last statement quite jovial."

"Well regardless of who is to blame, we are here, stuck together, until such a time we are eventually found and then will be so for eternity, whether we like it or not."

She opened her mouth to contradict him and refer him to her earlier words, which despite being spoken in angry response at his own, were still meaningful. She would rather be alone than have him forced to marry her, however he was already guessing her thoughts.

"Did you mean what you just said? Is the prospect of a life with me so terribly unimaginable, you would rather die an old maid?" his voice was calm and collected, and yet she still felt the pain and resentment behind them.

"Captain, I-" her stomach growled out its need for nourishment, and succeeded in ending the conversation. Anne blushed again, and was again pleased for the dark.

"You are hungry, as I am, when did you last eat?"

"I broke my fast with the boys about eight o'clock."

He harrumphed. "It is a shame we are both of us early rises. I too ate several hours ago. We must be found soon, or their will be nothing left to find." Anne gasped at his bluntness and he felt shame in bringing upon her unnecessary distress. "I am only teasing you Miss Elliot. We will be well. An empty stomach maybe, but it is not enough to have us shuffle off the earth just yet." He tried to offer her a smile and then realised he was still holding her. Reluctantly he shuffled them both back over to the crate and placed her back on it.

They went back to not talking, only the constant sound of the rain as it softly hit the walls around them, broke the silence.

A few minutes later, Anne could stand it no more. "Have you been in many situations where certain death was imminent?" she said suddenly. "I know you told our party at dinner last week about your time aboard the Asp, and how close you came, but I should think there were other times too."

"You do not wish to hear those stories."

"I do. I used to delight in your stories, but I imagine they were only the more appropriate ones you wished to share with an impressionable young lady you were attempting to woo. I find now I am older, I wish to hear everything else. Please? It will help to pass the time and focus our minds on something other than food."

Smiling to himself that the interest she once showed for an eager young sailor, was still present, even if only a small amount, he proceeded to tell all his most gruesome stories. She listened avidly, giving her opinion on events and her predictions at the outcomes, it passed another hour, this one more enjoyable than the last.

It was however not unnoticed by either, that the day was getting on, the daylight would soon be fading, no one had come. Either by them not realising there was a reason to come, or because of the weather. They probably imagined Anne was tucked up in her bed and that he had stopped off at a neighbours to wait out the rain. No one would ever deduce they were both trapped out there. There was only one who knew of their whereabouts, and it was Anne's experience such an event as terribly trifling for them, would probably have already been forgotten by Walter, who in no doubt was at that moment enjoying afternoon tea. It would not be unless he was directly asked about the whereabouts of his Aunt, would he casually inform them she was locked up in the out building with Captain Wentworth.

She glanced over at Frederick, who, since his story telling, had remained quiet. She swallowed hard, trying to build up her courage for what she was about to do. "Captain Wentworth?" she could see his shape turn to face her. "What did you mean earlier, when you said you wished to discuss the past?"

He was quiet for a long time more and she thought he was angry with her again. Finally he said, "I have lived with your decision and its repercussions for eight years, and the idea of now having the chance to ask you all the questions I never had the chance, or the ability to, back then, was all too overwhelming." He came towards her once again, returning to his now common position of crouching before her and pulled her feet back into his hands, finding -as he suspected- they were cold once more. This time though he moved to sit beside her, she did not refuse him, but instead moved aside as much as she could, so that he could sit on whatever it was he had found earlier.

He still held her foot in his and this time rested it on his thigh while he caressed it slowly. It was different to earlier, when he had been so adamant he had to keep her circulation going. This was tender, like he was doing it because he wanted to, rather than he had to. It in turn had Anne heated all over. It was only being this close she realised how cold he was, his hands had been kept warm through their current occupation, but the rest of him was freezing. No wonder he was so out of sorts; cold, hungry and most probably tired. Without thinking, Anne shuffled closer to him and wrapped her arms around him, rubbing her head against his shoulder. He gasped at the contact and she felt his heart beat gain speed, his body stiffening.

"Do not worry sir, this is only for your warmth. I will not attempt to compromise you – at least not today." She felt him smile, even if she could not see it, and the tension fall from his body. Her head fell against his chest. "You are right." she said softly. "We should talk about our past first. Then we can talk about our future." Frederick tried not to gain hope by the mere mention of the words 'our future'. She was continuing. "It will be dark soon, and they will realise we are missing and send search parties. It is best we use the time while we have it." Anne did not want to make matters worse by informing him she doubted anyone would leave the great house anytime soon, due to the weather and the fact of Mary's delicate constitution. That in all likelihood, they would be forced to spend the night together. "Ask me anything, and I will attempt to answer the best that I can." Anne swore solemnly.

Frederick took a deep breath in and attempted to order the words in his head so that they resembled sentences. "Why did you agree to my proposal?"

Anne smiled to herself, grateful he had begun with such an easy one. "Because I loved you."

"Did you want to marry me? To be my wife?"

Anne swallowed down her grief, the loss of the relationship that never was. "Very much so, yes."

Frederick was quiet for a long time and Anne felt her eyes close, she was so cosy and comfortable, pressed against him, sharing their body warmth. She was just drifting off to the sound of his breathing, when he spoke again. "What did they say to you to make you change your mind, so abruptly, so completely?"

The tears stung her eyes but she refused to let them fall, she had promised him anything and that she would try to answer, she owed him that at least. "I told you all that at the time." She reminded him.

"I was not listening then. I could not. Tell me again now. Please."

"I was persuaded to think, that it was best for you." Frederick scoffed, but she ignored him, needing to get this out. "That for you to truly accomplish everything you were planning, for you to prosper in your career and make a success of yourself, you needed to be free of responsibilities, unhindered by me." She doubted Frederick believed those were the actual words of her father and Lady Russel and, agreed, they had not been, but that was what she had chosen to believe was her reasoning for hurting him. "That if I loved you as much as I claimed, I should let you go, and that if loved me as much as you claimed, you would come back to me."