Chapter 13: When getting back into Gintama after the cluster fuck of 2016 in America, it's really nice on the soul.
The next few days were peaceful or as peaceful as they could be while everyone played host and the officers tried to pick out which of the girls could be Blue Rose. Shinpachi had been doing her job in trying to blend in with a certain crowd that used drugs. She was able to get along with a variety of students from the nerds to the jocks. Apparently everyone was pretty chilled about anyone of any kind of status.
"It's really peaceful around here, and no one shows any sign of using any illegal drugs. Even the hippie kids only smoke weed." Shinpachi reported to the others who were getting their makeup done.
Hijikata pointed out, "That might only be on the surface. Remember that the drugs that are being served range from cocaine to ecstasy. Are you sure that no one has shown any signs of using them?"
"None. They all act like regular teenagers. No one had tried to approach me about them even if I complain."
Sougo suggested, "Maybe the old man got his information wrong."
Kondo hummed to that in his gorilla suit. "It's too soon to say. The ball is coming up this weekend, and perhaps someone will come as a drug dealer. Yamazaki. Have you found anything while you were disguised as the school's janitor?"
Yamazaki reported, "All the teachers seem to rant about normal things on my end. Shinpachi and I with boss's and Kagura-chan's help didn't find anything solid to go by except that Blue Rose once sold drugs nearby the Shogun's palace. It was completely top secret until one of them ratted her out, but before he could give the name, he died by his phone exploding in his pocket."
"So that's how we got the mission." Hijikata sucked in the smoke of his cigarette. He was enjoying it before having to deal with all the annoying chicks. "Then that means that all her drug dealers have explosives rigged into their phones. If we can confiscate them from everyone in this school, then we may be able to tell who is working for Blue Rose. But we have to be cautious about it, so she doesn't have them explode as well."
"We will have to thread carefully in doing that since it may alarm Blue Rose if every cellphone were confiscated all of the sudden." Shinpachi said. "The shinsengumi can cause the phones of those we highly suspect to be drug users to ring or buzz, which will make the teacher have to confiscate them. And perhaps we can find other ways to investigate the others."
"Then let's get to work." Hijikata stood up with the hosts.
They took their positions at the double doors. Shinpachi and Tama exited first, and saw practically every female in the school waiting at the sidelines of the hallways with their cameras and phones out. Once the doors were opened, the group welcomed them in.
Shinpachi went to the library to do her school work and chat with the friends she made. Although she couldn't help thinking about Hijikata. He's been acting weird the last few days. She thought he was simply stressed about being a host, but he seemed more bitter about leaving than staying at the high school.
She finally decided to ask Yamazaki, and the spy agreed to chat, so the two decided to have dango and tea together. They first had some small talk before Shinpachi inquired, "Is something happening at the shinsengumi, Yamazaki-san?"
"Ah! Nothing! Nothing happened!" Yamazaki frantically waved his arms to prove his point.
The megane deadpanned, "If you say it like that, something is obviously happening. Is it top secret?"
"...No. But you can't tell vice chief that I told you." Yamazaki paused to truly think on his decision, and thought it was best to fess up. The rumor's bound to spread eventually. "Do you remember the director's daughter, right?"
"Kuriko-san?" Shinpachi had a feeling that she should stop the conversation, but she wanted to know.
"Yeah. She forced the director to schedule an omiai with vice chief."
"EEH?! An omiai?!"
"SHHHH!" Yamazaki shushed her. And then continued, "It was quite the shock for everyone, and what's even more shocking is that even though she's been rejected by vice chief, she told him that she wasn't giving up."
The man had a flashback on the moment that he was peeking through the shoji doors.
Hijikata and Kuriko were knelled before each other with a table being their only barrier. She started first. Her anxiousness apparent on her face. "Mayo-sama, I'm so happy to see you again. I know now of who you really are, and I don't blame you for lying before. I was young and acted obsessed."
"Then you know why this won't work. You're not the problem. I have no interest in marriage."
"I know, but...I'm not giving up."
"Eh?"
The young woman proclaimed, "I will do my best for you to fall in love with me! I will keep trying until I know better to give up. My heart won't rest until I tried, so please." She bowed down on the floor. "Accept my harassment!"
"She's honest." Shinpachi commented, and then smiled. "I hope for the best for her."
"Eh?" Yamazaki wasn't caught off guard, but the moment called for confusion.
Shinpachi explained, "Kuriko-chan is a beautiful and kind woman, and Hijikata-san isn't scandalous like her father. I've always thought ever since Kuriko-chan fell for him that the two of them would be great together. It's Hijikata-san's loss if he were to let her go."
"But Shinpachi, don't you-" Yamazaki shut his cursed mouth. He should've known better than to ask that question!
However, Shinpachi openly replied, "I will always love Hijikata-san, but I've accepted his rejection. I always have before my confession. The two of us are far less compatible than he is with Kuriko-chan."
Yamazaki tried to find a falseness in the happiness that was in Shinpachi's expression, but she found none. Neither did Sougo when he arrived at the shop for some sweets, too. He hid himself in plain sight to eavesdrop on their conversation.
Apparently, someone else was eavesdropping. "Good for you, Pachie!" Katsura and Elizabeth were sitting next to them with tears in their eyes.
The three shinsengumi officers turned white with black lines on their temples.
"WHY ARE YOU LISTENING?! WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE!"
Shinpachi smacked their heads and threw them out the shop so they didn't disturb the other customers. Yamazaki let her beat them up while Sougo left with his hot sauce bottle and sweets.
._._._.
"Can you believe them for eavesdropping?! I made sure Katsura swore to not tell anyone. He's a terrorist after all." Shinpachi complained to Gintoki who came down with a fever the day before the ball. Shinpachi took the day off from school to take care of him. It was also because she wasn't sure if she could face Hijikata at the moment.
Though she truthfully told Yamazaki that she was okay, she began to feel jealousy once the facts sunk in. Her brows furrowed when she began to list out the many ways the woman was better than her. She was a natural beauty. She was born a woman. She was far more stubborn to fight for Hijikata's love. Honestly, Shinpachi knew she didn't fight for it because she didn't want to end her friendship with Hijikata, but she felt like a failure for giving up anyway.
She felt a tap on her glabella. "You shouldn't frown like that. You're a woman now. You need to be more cautious of your looks or else you'll start to look like the old lady."
Shinpachi refocused her attention on Gintoki who was lying on his futon with his pajamas on. His head was covered by an ice pack, and he was red from sweating. The female softly glared at him, but it was replaced by a caring gaze. "I won't be a woman for long." She helped him drink water out of a ladle. "You wouldn't be like this if you hadn't tried to show off to those girls. What were you thinking?"
"I'm supposed to be the wild type remember. I was just staying true to my character or else the whole mission would fail because of me!" He began to cough harshly.
Shinpachi retorted blandly, "You jumped into a pool of banana pudding half naked at the gym. We were lucky that you didn't get suspended thanks to the girls, but you're banned from the gym from now on. You better not take their kindness for granted." She swept some of the wet strands from the samurai's forehead. It clear way for her to see Gintoki's expression, which seemed distant yet present and focused on her at the same time. Shinpachi inquired, "What is it?"
Before the lazy man could answer, the doorbell rang. Shinpachi stood up to get it, and was given a cake that was sent by Katsura who currently couldn't leave the hospital due to being in police custody. Shinpachi was still miffed about his eavesdropping, but cake was always pleasant to eat. Gintoki wanted to eat some, but she berated him, and ordered him to stay in bed. Gintoki bothered to comply since Shinpachi was the only safe caretaker for him.
He looked at Shinpachi who was wearing a white yukata with blue flowers on it. The made female had begun to put on makeup unlike Otae, so her plain looks stood out a bit at school. The white curly haired diabetic male stared at her until she noticed his stare and smiled. Gintoki looked away as he felt uneasy. Shinpachi was doing nothing different from when he took care of Gintoki as a male. Always gentle, kind and honestly quite boring, but safe compared to his other caretakers.
She took notice of his attitude. "Is it weird that I'm a woman? It's been a month, but even I'm still weird out whenever I go to the bathroom." Shinpachi confessed as she dutifully knelled by his side.
"At least you're able to see what's in between your legs every day. Hey have you-"
"No." Shinpachi rejected. She may be a woman, but she identified herself as a male, so to play with herself like that was too weird to do.
"I would ask you if you played with your chest, but you- AUGH!" Gintoki had pills shoved down his throat, and water go down the wrong tube! He coughed violently, and then yelled, "Are you trying to kill me?!"
"Nope. It was time for you to take your pills." Shinpachi said innocently.
"You could've warned me!" Gintoki took advantage of the situation to place his head on her lap, and wrap his arms around her waist while he muffled his complaints about his cute daughter being taken away by some yakuza.
Shinpachi was surprised by being held like this, but then knew what Gintoki was doing. She allowed it since she didn't have boobs for him to be all perverted on. Yet she did retort on what he complained about.
After a while, Shinpachi began to stroke the sick man's hair. The sunlight seeping through the window was bright but merciful and beautiful to the eyes. Everything was silent. A very rare occurrence.
Kagura soon came in and was about to say something, but then saw the positions the two closest people in her life was in. She didn't know why she felt surprised, and somewhat betrayed by the scene. She knew that there was nothing going on between them, and she wasn't hurt. She was just confused.
She was about to turn away, but then Gintoki noticed her. He sat up. "Oh, Kagura, you're back. I'm starting to feel better, so go slice up that cake for the four of us."
Shinpachi looked over her shoulder and greeted her, "Welcome home, Kagura-chan. How was the host club today? Did you get any gifts?"
Kagura broke out of her thoughts, and burst out, "I'll go cut the cake!" She took the cake box and made four equal slices for everyone to eat at the table.
Shinpachi and Gintoki looked at each other, but both were confused by her sudden obedient attitude.
"Did something happen at school, Kagura-chan?" Shinpachi inquired while she ate her slice.
"Not at all! I got a lot of the newest collectible toys today!" Her voice was a little too high, but not out of the ordinary.
"Collectible toys? You're not a kid anymore. You should sell them for cash. They won't notice." Gintoki advised her.
Shinpachi turned that down. "Don't listen to him. You should cherish these gifts until we're at desperate times or else Gin-san here will take it and spend it all on Pachinko."
"No I won't! I'd spend it all on sweets!"
"That doesn't make it better!"
"Uhm..." Kagura told them, "On Sunday, Soyo-chan wants to see me as Emiko Jin. But the makeup artist won't do my makeup."
"I can do it." Shinpachi said. "I've watched them do your makeup, and I have some makeup supplies of my own. I can do your makeup in the morning, and Gin-san can walk you there since I have a study group that day. You'll walk her, won't you, Gin-san."
"Why? She can fend for herself."
"Kagura will go out as Emiko Jin, and she should have a body guard to show her importance. If people saw Emiko-chan enter the building like that, our club will certainly grow even more popular." The megane revealed her scheme. "How about it, Kagura-chan?"
The foreign teenager nodded. This atmosphere began to feel weird. It's not the same.
"Ah, you got a little on your cheek." Gintoki pointed out to Shinpachi. She wiped the wrong cheek that Gintoki placed his plate down to put a hand on her shoulder to steady himself. The cream was white so he had to get closer to see it before he would use his finger to wipe it off.
While this happened, Hijikata made his way in after one knock. "Oi, Shinpachi. Yamazaki told em what you did to Katsura..." From his point of view, he saw the silver haired bastards face on Shinpachi's own with hands that looked like they were locking her in place for something he immediately registered in his mind.
"YOU FUCKIN' BASTARD!" He flied kick Gintoki off her.
The kicked man hit against the wall. "WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"
"WHAT WERE YOU DOING TO HER?!"
"I WAS JUST WIPING CAKE FROSTING OFF! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!"
The two were all up in their faces, shouting like mad men.
Shinpachi got up and prepared tea for all of them. She filled Sadaharu's bowl, too. Then she asked, "Did you come here to tell me something, Hijikata-san?"
The policeman ignored Gintoki to return to his cool attitude and answer, "I just came here to report to you that Yamazaki found evidence that Blue Rose may not actually attend the school, but is actually a frequent visitor instead."
"A frequent visitor?"
"It is a school for the rich, and many people come and go to act as deliverers and whatnot. The reason none of the students look to be under the influence of drugs or knows anything about it is because we wrongly assumed that the drugs would be sold to a majority of them. Turns out only those who do not stand out buy them, and they are most likely monitored while taking it so no videos are released about it. Also, one of the teachers OD'd recently, and other former members of the staff had done the same."
"Then there was no point of the host club. We can cancel that-"
"NO!" Shinpachi was kicked by Kagura and Gintoki. "DO YOU REALIZE WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN YOU DO THAT?!"
"NO MORE CAKES AND PARFAITS AND GIFTS!"
Shinpachi yelled back, "YOU TWO JUST WANT TO BE SPOILED!"
Hijikata yelled, too, "THE HOST CLUB WON'T BE CANCELLED! We still need it around in case our theory is wrong, and if Blue Rose is a student after all!"
The no-good duo got on their knees in front of him. "Thank you, Mayo-sama!"
"What's with this Mayo-sama?!"
Shinpachi went to the kitchen to wash the dishes. Hijikata stood next to her to also inform her, "We suspect that by next Saturday, the shinsengumi will have something solid to go by after researching everyone's background that's related to that school in any way. Kondo and I will be interrogating some people we may suspect, and need you there."
"Next Saturday?"
"Yeah. Did you have plans?"
Shinpachi actually did have plans with her new high school friends, but those plans weren't related to finding Blue Rose. "N-"
"She's going to a party with her high school friends after going shopping with them." Gintoki answered for her. "Drugs are most likely passed out at a party, so she can't interrogate some drug addicts with you."
Hijikata was surprised by the silver haired bastard answering, but he understood that he was making sure Shinpachi didn't overlook her happiness. Still he asked Shinpachi, "Is that true?"
"Yes. But if you need me, I won't go."
Hijikata immediately rejected, "No. Kondo, Sougo, Yamazaki and I will be enough, but I'll have Yamazaki also sneak into the party to help you out. Make sure to bring a report on it if you find anything suspicious."
"Of course." The former shinsengumi officer answered dutifully.
Hijikata then left.
Shinpachi asked Gintoki, "Why did you tell him there would be a party? It's only shopping, so I could've gone."
"Nah, you're supposed to be off the squad by now, so it's not your responsibility to drop everything for a job that isn't yours in the first place. I'm your boss again, so go enjoy being with your high school friends. It's not every day you get to discover yourself in High school." Gintoki pointed out. Shinpachi still thought that part of her responsibility still belonged to the shinsengumi, but at the same time, she was really thankful. She really was looking forward to shopping with her new friends.
._._._.
"It's nice to see you again, Toushi-kun. I made you another bento today. Did you enjoy the one I made you last time?" Kuriko handed Hijikata a bento at his office. "If there's anything you'd want me to change, I will do it."
"No. It was good." He told her since he was ordered to act compliant with her actions. She is the director's daughter. The two have been having these exchanges for the last few days since she promised to try to make him fall for her. The two had only been eating lunch together since Kuriko did want to take things slow since love was about progress.
"Honestly, I wish that she would give up soon. She is a good woman, and she is more fit for a better man than me. She's blinded again by her imagination of me."
Hijikata blew his smoke during his break in his office. His mind immediately made him think back to when he mistakenly thought that the silver haired bastard was putting the moves on Shinpachi. He felt a vein throbbed on his temple.
"SHIT! Now that I'm aware of my feelings for Shinpachi, I'm feeling self conscious of how close her relationship is with that silver haired bastard. I didn't care before because that idiot isn't into other guys, but now that Shinpachi is a woman, even if she doesn't appear to fit that perverted bastard's interests, I can't trust that he won't try to lay a hand on her. As I wrote before, men can be samurai who can earn respect, but all of them are pigs in nature."
"Ah, but the possibility that someone as sensible as Shinpachi falling for him or letting her emotions be tricked into it is slim to none. It's my own feelings that are making me unreasonably think so. Tch. To feel jealous because of how close they are. I only feel that way because now I know the pleasant feeling of having him by my side...
The next words his brain whispered for him to write was that he missed her. He felt that eating lunch with Shinpachi was a whole lot better than eating with Kuriko. To be fair, it was because they were friends.
"..."
"Ah, I'm out of mayonnaise flavored tea. Where did Shinpachi buy it again? Maybe I should ask her again."
"Where are you going, Hijikata-san?" Sougo asked at the gate. "The ball is tonight. Don't tell me that you plan to go to the bank to open an account to fit all the money that will be extorted from these dumb bitches."
"That's you!" Hijikata didn't bother to order him to not do it since Sougo was going to do it anyway, and no proof will be found. "I'm heading to Shinpachi's. I forgot what store she bought the tea that she gave me for my birthday."
"Shinpachi? Before you go, you should know that Yamazaki told her about you and the director's daughter's steamy affair."
"What steamy affair?! And Yamazaki did what?! Where is he?!" He searched the area around him vigorously.
"Today is his day off until the ball. Anyway, good luck with Pachie. She confessed to you first after all, and only a month later, you've already moved on to someone else."
"I didn't move on to someone else! Dammit!" Hijikata hurried to Shinpachi's place to set the information straight.
And like usual, he found her at her room. However, this time Shinpachi was facing a mirror while doing her hair to look like Otsuu-chan's. She tried to smile cutely like her, but she wasn't satisfied by the hairstyle.
"You look better with pigtails." The policeman told her.
Shinpachi looked at him with pleasant surprise. "Hijikata-san! You really think so?" the otaku let her hair go, and began to braid her hair while approaching him. "Did you need to report to me about anything for tonight?"
"No. I just..." He wondered whether he should talk about the tea or Kuriko first. He figured talking about tea would be best. "I ran out of tea, and forgot where to get it."
"Finished already? I'm surprised that it wasn't finished in one month." Shinpachi lightly joked, and then took out a piece of paper from her book to write down the information. "Here's the name and address so you never forget. Make sure not to lose this paper." She handed it over to him.
"Thanks." Hijikata wished she took longer because now he had to explain, "So, Sougo told me that Yamazaki informed you about me and the director's daughter."
"You and Kuriko-chan? Yes, he did, and I don't know whether I should say this or not, but I hope you do give her a chance." Shinpachi felt a bit uncomfortable in the chest, but she stayed firm on her belief.
Hijikata was surprised by this. "You should know that's not possible."
"What I do know now is that she has nothing to lose from trying to make a stubborn samurai realize that love, even if it ends in heart break, is worth more than never trying in the first place. I don't know whether I should say this or not but, " Shinpachi gave a knowing smile. "Please reconsider her advances."
The policeman didn't know what to say to that. A part of him wanted Shinpachi to confess that she didn't want him to go to Kuriko, but then he also tried to remember what it was like when they were friends without feelings for each other. The same memory he had earlier popped up, and he just had to ask, "Hey, that silver bastard hadn't been giving you weird looks has he?"
"Gin-san?" Shinpachi was weird out and confused by the question, but considering the type of person Gintoki was, the question was more reasonable than when Hijikata asked if she was dating Sougo. "Ah, there's nothing to worry about. Gin-san is a perverted scum, but he sees me as family like he does with Kagura-chan."
That made sense. Even if Kondou or even the likes of Sougo were to turn back into their female bodies, he wouldn't change how he saw them. Not that he could ever see him in that light considering who they were. "Ah. Sorry for asking."
"Don't be! Gin-san and I do share a close relationship that is shared between men, and I have always been aware that I'm not as masculine compared to all the other Gintama men, so turning into a female and remaining close to Gin-san would give people the wrong impression. Anue-e has been keeping a check on me, and threatening Gin-san more than before. She became more scary than usual." Shinpachi sighed, but she smiled nonetheless for Hijikata.
The officer gazed at that smile, but he quickly stopped himself. He cursed himself for how his feelings began to swell as they talked. He then remembered some of the papers he didn't need to do immediately, but it's best to leave since there was nothing else to really talk about, and he usually left by then. He told himself he can't break any habits despite how much he wanted to remain in Shinpachi's presence, or else it will become strange and frustrating for the both of them.
Shinpachi seemed to not mind him leaving. Work was work after all.
Later that night, everyone attended the ball which took place at a fancy mansion that was borrowed from Soyo-chan who also provided staff to help serve the food and be the orchestra. The Gintama men were dressed in tuxes with their makeup on. Kagura and Otae were dressed in beautiful gowns. Otae was dressed formally like a Japanese Goddess that appeared benevolent to all, but actually had a horrifying twisted side to her. Kagura was dressed in a beautiful ballgown just like how she wanted while her chest was still given a bind to keep it flat, so she appeared absolutely adorable to her fans.
As for Shinpachi and Tama who were present...
"AAAAAAAH!" Yamazaki yelled out in awe when the two came out in westernized maid outfits. "You guys look amazing! Those dresses fit you very well!" He was head over heels at the sight of Tama who looked incredibly cute that it spawned dirty thoughts.
Tama simply thanked him for the compliment while Shinpachi blushed a bit. "Neh, neh, this costume is kind of embarrassing. We're serving for a formal event. Not a cafe."
"Nonsense!" Kondo cried out. "The maid outfit is perfect for any occasion! In a filthy stained city such as Edo, one would think that we wouldn't have the slightest bit of value. But just like how even a cow's poo has worth due to the nutritious gems hidden within, maids are those gems in Edo! They are the symbols of purity. It is true that the women playing the maids may not be as pure as we liked to believe, but that is the magic of the maid outfit! Once a cute female puts it on, their true selves with their hidden dirty deeds are hidden, and a virgin maiden appears before us! Yes! And not just any virgin maiden! But a virgin maiden who unconditionally loves those around her, so she works hard to please them by giving them their fantasy! Their sanctuary! Their home! And when you meet them, it'll feel like the first time you will truly feel welcomed home." He spoke the inviting words of a cute maid, "Is this your first time coming home, mistress?" He said this to Otae in his gorilla costume that was wearing a maid outfit.
Everyone else had shadowed eyes. Otae destroyed Kondo while everyone agreed that it was best if they wore proper waitresses outfits after all.
After that was smoothed over with Kondo sleeping off his usual beating in one of the rooms, they all set out to do their job much to many of Gintoki's complaints, Hijikata bickering with him, and Sougo and Kagura throwing insults at each other until Otae straightened them all up. Shinpachi paused for a second when she swore she noticed someone passing by behind them. She thought she saw purple hair, but eyes can fool the mind, so she thought nothing of it unfortunately.
The ball started out smoothly with the hosts greeting practically the whole female student body. They were glad that they set up for foot care after this. Each girl chose who they wanted to dance with, and Yamazaki was glad that he wasn't that popular, so he would finish first and be able to do more important things that'll help them find Blue Rose among them.
The first half of their fans lined up while the second half enjoyed their food while watching the others in glee and envy.
"Yo! Shinpachi!" One of the girls at the tables called out. The megane turned away from the table that she was serving to see her study group friends. The girl who called out to her was Lisa. Two other girls sat with her. One of them named Amanda while the other was her new dear friend and fellow Otsuu-chan fan, Satomi Yamashita. She had light brown hair with red highlights, and a part of her hair tied up by a bobble hair tie. She also had downturned brown eyes and plump lips that she surgically obtained. She had a very closed off and tough personality. Not willing to speak too many words unless it involved scolding someone, doing work, or talking about Otsuu-chan.
"Ah, everyone! You came! I'm surprised to see that you also came, Yamashita-san."
The coolly dressed female explained, "I just wanted to see what the fuss was about for the club you work at." She looked over to the dance floor where the hosts were waltzing and switching the girls. Although some of them tried to latch on that Kondo and security had to get them off. "You have some pretty generous friends, but I still think you should move over to the tea ceremony club."
"Ah, sorry, Yamashita-san. I truly do appreciate the traditional way of serving tea, but..." Shinpachi gave a small, apologetic smile. Her friend simply shrugged.
"Anyway!" Lisa cried out to gain their attention. "Amanda and I chose to dance with the two princes! I'm gonna dance with Prince Ren (Sougo)! Amanda's here is gonna dance with Prince Hikaru (Honjou)! We've been wondering Pachie that since ya know the the host boys so well, did you ever date any of them?"
"Eh?!" Shinpachi blushed bright red when Hijikata popped in her mind, but disgust and fear quickly washed over it when she remembered that Gintoki and Sougo were also hosts. She shortly prayed for Lisa's safety from Sougo. Blackish blue lines formed beneath her left eye as she gloomily rejected, "No. No. Not at all. I would never want to date any of them. They're just friends of mine."
"Then are you lezbo?" She questioned as if there could be no other explanation.
Shinpachi was offended by her rude tone. "No!" She answered with restrained anger. "Please, don't make assumptions like that just because I am not into the same type of men as you."
"You're talking like an old woman again." Amanda pointed out with a theatrical sigh. "Reminds me of being nagged by my nanny."
"I wouldn't have to if you two weren't being so rude!" Shinpachi defended herself. Teenage girls were so rude these days!
"Ignore them, Pachie." Satomi told her as she sipped her drink. "Let's just ditch and listen to Otsuu-chan and shit."
"Please refrain from using such crude language." Shinpachi kindly asked of her. "And I'm currently working right now."
"You know you act like what a typical old fashioned woman would act." Lisa pointed out. "All prim and proper and prude. You won't be able to land a high paying job like that."
Amanda nodded, "These days a woman can live a life of luxury if she looks good and have an edge to her. I hate wearing makeup, but if a woman doesn't wear it, people assume we ain't professional."
"I also hate wearing heels, and just wanna chill in my sneakers, but if I want to appear fierce among my competitors, I have to deal with it." The two girls nodded, and sighed, "Being a high class working woman is hard."
Shinpachi felt the darker purple lines beneath her eye. "That's no different from a poor woman's struggles. It only makes them look more spoiled since they're privileged and that's all they have to really worry about." Shinpachi's shoulders drooped. "Honestly, they were so pleasant at first, but now, they're too comfortable with me that their true colors are showing. But I guess it's not worse than Kagura's attitude. But I wish they'd give some thought to what they say to me. The harsh words said at Kabukicho is understandable since life is harsh there, so these girls are just being mean out of ignorance. But I can't entirely blame them since they were raised with silver spoons, and ceilings like these." Shinpachi looked up at the painted ceilings and crystal chandeliers. "I've said this before, but these rich people definitely live in another world."
"It's hard only because you lack motivation." Satomi spoke up with a harsh, matter-of-fact tone. Not bothering to pass a glance at anyone, but her targets were obvious. "You two should really think twice on your words and attitude. While it is true that women do have to meet annoying standards, Pachie is fine the way she is, and if you two don't know why, then your world is limited, and as the saying goes for many, those who see little of the world won't be able to make their mark on it."
"Sheesh, Satomi. We were just playing! So serious all the time." Lisa grumbled. Amanda nodded in agreement as the two lightly glared at their friend. "But anyway, sorry Pachie. Guess we did mouth off a bit."
"Ah," Shinpachi hurriedly assured them, "It's okay. You two were only trying to give me advice. Though you could've worded it a bit better as Yamashita-san said." She faced the fellow Otsu-chan fan. "Thank you for defending me."
"Mm." She pushed back her red highlighted locks. "You can thank me by joining the tea ceremony club."
"You sure are stubborn, Yamashita-san. Well then, I have to return back to work." The undercover policewoman returned to work just as the first half of the dancing was done, and the hosts were allowed to exit the ballroom, so they could rest and eat for half an hour before returning back.
Shinpachi met them at one of the rooms where Kagura, Sougo, Gintoki, Hijikata, and Honjou were either lying on the bed or the sofa to rest their aching feet. Her and Tama helped give them their meals.
"Mm? Where's my sister?" Shinpachi questioned.
"She said she had something to do." Gintoki answered, exhausted. "Oi. Do we really have to do the next half. I already feel like my feet are about to fall off!"
"It won't be that bad. There's a lot less girls for the second half." Shinpachi reminded him. "And once this ball is done, I'll prepare a cold bath, so you two can ease your sore muscles."
"Can I also have mochi ice cream and move our beds to the living room so we can watch TV on the floor?" Kagura asked with a cute, childish voice and pleading, wide eyes.
Shinpachi giggled at her attitude. "I don't see why not."
Then surprisingly Sougo wrapped his arms around her shoulders, "Mama, I also want you to prepare me a cold bath and eat mochi together."
"OI! SUPER SADIST! Who are you calling 'mama', you bastard! Shinpachi is the Yorozuya's mom!" She kicked him off their 'mama'.
The sadist bit back, "Don't act like you don't know. While it is true that she's played the act of being your mother, the truth is that she's been an unfaithful wife."
"UGH!" Kagura dramatically posed in shock.
"WAIT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN UNFAITHFUL WIFE!" Shinpachi yelled.
"Daddy! Tell me it isn't true!" Kagura cried out to Gintoki.
The man was confused. "Eh? What?"
Sougo chuckled. "It is true. It started before you were born while mama was engaged to your shitty dad. You never knew, but I am mama's first child from an affair between her and the shitty vice chief."
"Who's your father?!" Hijikata yelled out.
Kagura cried out, obviously ignoring everyone, "That can't be true, aru! Yes, papa is stupid enough to think pregnant women are just fat! He can't help it! He even thought mama just ate a baby whale when it was really me in there! But even so...Even so, papa can at least tell what's right and wrong and how to love someone by the tons of Blue's Clues and Dora the Explora he watches!"
"How stupid are you going to make me?! And how is a blue dog who was actually a girl this whole time and a Spanish speaking girl who tramps around without adult supervision supposed to teach me those things!" Gintoki yelled once he caught on to what's going on.
Sougo ignored everyone as well. "Foolish girl. Everyone knows that no matter how great a woman's husband can be, they can't ignore their desires."
"No!"
"Yes! She couldn't resist..." The background darkens, and fades in the truth, "wanting to pet the shitty vice chief's pet gorilla." Kondo in his gorilla form and Shinpachi dressed like a young woman about to be married gazed at each other lovingly.
"She ruined her engagement over that?!" The three victims of this drama yelled at once.
"I knew it." Kagura sniffed, her fake tears coming into view.
"Knew what?!"
"I knew it every time we passed by each other." A flashback with a pregnant Shinpachi holding little Kagura's hand as they walk down a street. Hijikata, Kondo the gorilla and little Sougo were walking towards them, but Pachie didn't meet eye contact with them. But once they pass by each other, she had to look back sadly just as Kondo the gorilla did the same. Little Kagura saw this, and the present Kagura tearfully revealed, "I knew...sniff, sniff...but I didn't want to accept it. But I don't want mama to suffer anymore! But I don't want daddy to be hurt, too!"
"Why is it those two?!" Hijikata complained. "You completely made me into nothing but a nuisance background character used to move the story! What was the point of making me the dad in the first place!"
Gintoki yelled at him, "You fool! That's what you're worried about?! At least your character wasn't turned into a complete retard! And why is Shinpachi pregnant again. Whose child is that."
Kagura answered with all seriousness, "It's the madao's." The background darkened again, but the only thing that was shown were sunglasses.
"WHAT KIND OF TWISTED HOUSE ARE YOU PLAYING!" Shinpachi smashed both Kagura's and Sougo's heads on the floor. "Why was I turned into some adulteress who married a retard, slept with the country's policeman's vice chief just to pet a gorilla, and then a pair of sunglasses for no reason at all! How is that even possible, HUH?!"
They heard sniffling and saw that the story actually made Kondo cry, but they just ignored him.
"But mama!" Both children of the drama cried out to her!
"Don't call me mama!" Shinpachi snapped at them, feeling hysterical at the moment, so she stopped herself. "Geeze, you two. If you're really that bored from waltzing, please do something else. But I guess it isn't fair if I only treat Kagura and Gintoki since everyone is working so hard."
"Eh? What are you talking about, Pachie?" Gintoki questioned in his slurred, brazen tone. "These guys are already robbing people of their tax money. You don't have to do them any favors."
"How about we head to a bath house after this?" Honjou finally spoke up.
"Ah! That's perfect!" Shinpachi immediately agreed to the suggestion. "Ah, but I can't go. It would be inappropriate for me to enter either baths."
"Oh, don't be shy, Shin-chan!" Otae appeared. "All we have to do is blind fold you!"
"Ah, no, no. It's good. I'll just take a bath at our house! I'm not exactly comfortable showing my body."
"Uuun. I see. It would be strange since we never seen each other naked since we were little kids. I would also feel embarrass even if we are sisters now."
Gintoki ran his mouth with his pinky up his nose, "If it was since you were little kids, Pachie should be alright since yours never changed since you were kids." Predictably his head was caught in her murderous, crush fist.
Otae sweetly told anyone, "Somebody better call the makeup artists because it looks like they missed a spot on your face!" Hijikata made the call just as the woman began pounding on the poor man who never learns.
Yamazaki let himself in to tell them that their break was over and also that he actually found a few girls who came to the ball with unprescribed drugs on their person. He already smoothly escorted them out, so they would be interrogated by their men who were pretending to be security. The makeup people also arrived just in time to quickly and professionally repair Gin's face before they exited once again to do their job.
The hosts took to the floors while Shinpachi went towards the tables to cater to the needs of the guests. However, her eyes widened when a very familiar dark, purplish aura rose from every table.
"Eh? What's this?" Everyone stared down at the unidentifiable burnt substance on their plates.
Shinpachi froze in horror.
Dear Diary #112
I attended my first ball as a waitress among the thousands of girls around me. On the second half of the ball, little did I know that anue-e had gone to the kitchen to see how the staff was doing. She made them try her cooking, which took out the head cook, and just like a disease, somehow everything in the kitchen turned burnt. Tama, naive to the danger, served them.
I was only one person who felt helpless in these turn of events. I didn't know what to do. Gin-san and everyone was busy, and I wasn't surprised when the whole kitchen staff were bought to the hospital after the fiasco due to food poison.
I didn't know how to save the situation, but something miraculous and also terrifying happened.
"AAAAAH!" The girls screamed when a natto covered Katsura and Elizabeth were suddenly dropped from the ceiling and hung their above them. They appeared to be unconscious.
And then suddenly the lights went out, and screams erupted across the room, but Shinpachi could hear them lower little by little due to them being silenced in turns.
"Shinpachi!" Yamazaki cried out to her.
Shinpachi felt her wrist being grasped. She shivered because she wasn't sure if it truly was Yamazaki's, but the feel of the older man's chest, and the closeness of his voice reassured her that it was him much to her relief. She cried out to him among the terrified screams and angry yells from everyone, "Yamazaki! What's happening?!"
The spy told her calmly among the panicked, "There's been an intruder. Katsura and Elizabeth were sent to check on it, but it appears that they fell into their trap."
Shinpachi whispered back with her heart beating louder than the sound of her voice, "Do you think this is Blue Rose?"
"No. I'm afraid this is far sinister."
The megane gasped. "Don't tell me-!"
Tama spoke up, "It's true Shinpachi-sama. My eyes can in the dark, and although she is quick, I am able to tell that it is her. I had bought night vision goggles with me just in case such an event may occur. I already gave Gintoki-sama and the others theirs. Here are yours."
The two thanked her, but when they put it on, they immediately wanted to take it off because what they saw was a green glowing painting of horror. Unknown to them, the girls close to them had been struck by natto and several of the girls were strung above unconscious. It also appeared that the black substances of torture were used as a weapon.
"Lisa!" Amanda yelled out.
"Don't!" Satomi cried out.
Shinpachi turned to them, and saw Amanda reaching her hand out towards the direction that Lisa had been pulled away from. Satomi was holding her wrist, so Amanda wouldn't be isolated and targeted.
"Everyone!" Shinpachi ran to them, but Yamazaki held her wrist.
"Wa-wait a minute! You almost stepped on it!"
Shinpachi looked down to see that a rope trap was set beneath her feet. She jumped back into Yamazaki's arms, and apologized.
The officer assured her, "It's okay. Just be careful. Now let's go!" The three of them ran towards Satomi and Amanda to protect them. "Don't worry. We're here!"
At that moment we reached out to them, and for a second, I'm not sure of what or who I saw in front of me when Sarutobi in her masked getup appeared. All I knew next was that Gin-san successfully kicked Sarutobi away from us. The lights went on after Tama successfully repaired it, and Sarutobi-san was courteous enough to not use our real names.
BUT WHAT SHE DID WAS COMPLETELY STUPID AND IRRESPONSIBLE THAT IT COULD'VE RUINED OUR MISSION! SHE WAS TRYING TO ACT LIKE SOME SERIAL KILLER FROM A HORROR SLASHER PROM MOVIE!
THE NEXT THING I KNEW WAS SARUTOBI EFFECTIVELY KNOCKING GIN-SAN OUT, AND THEN TRYING TO RUN OFF WITH HIM!
Thankfully, Sougo, Hijikata, and anue-e were around to try to stop her. Though that did cause several damages to the ballroom. Thankfully none of the girls were hurt during their battle. Sarutobi ended up losing when her glasses fell off, and Kondo was able to hold her down. I shouldn't be surprised that she did something like that because she claimed to want to protect Gin-san's ethics, but we all knew she did it for some warped masochistic reason.
After she was hauled away, miraculously all the girls somehow believed that everything that happened was a very realistic, horrifying yet exotic stunt to liven up the night. They even fell more in love with the hosts because they saw how strong and brave they were that it made the club even more famous that even Satomi decided to visit once in awhile whenever she could.
I guess in the end, it was a pretty eventful night that turned out for the best.
._._._.
A/N: I guess this is a good place to stop for the moment. I'm...kinda back. College is keeping me busy. I have two midterms exams, two oral performances with slide shows and scripts needed to be finished, homework due, and final exams are in just two-three weeks. TuT Also gotta find a job and decide what university to attend even though I have no idea what I want in the future since I have no interet in having a career. TTnTT
The whole thing before the ball was actually something I had typed before going into hiatus for this fic, so the whole ball scene was more of an insert to help me get back into this fic.
I'll try my best to continue!